The Magykal Papers (27 page)

DEAR MARCIA,

PLEASE DO NOT DISTRESS YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR TOOTHBRUSH. I QUITE UNDERSTAND. I WOULD BE EMBARRASSED TOO.

YOURS, ZELDA

MESSAGE STATUS:
ADDITIONAL MESSAGE AT REDUCED RATE

FROM:
PRIVILEGE ACCOUNT HOLDER, ZELDA ZANUBA HEAP @ KEEPER’S COTTAGE, DRAGGEN ISLAND, MARRAM MARSHES

TO:
SEPTIMUS HEAP, EXTRAORDINARY APPRENTICE @ THE WIZARD TOWER

DEAREST SEPTIMUS,

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, I WILL SEND THE REQUESTED CABBAGE SANDWICH VIA THE RIVER POST AND PACKET COMPANY. I BELIEVE THEIR ESTIMATED DELIVERY TIME IS TEN DAYS. IT SHOULD BE JUST RIGHT BY THEN!

I DO HOPE ALL IS GOING WELL FOR YOU AT THE WIZARD TOWER. YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE BOY. DON’T WORK TOO HARD. I THINK OF YOU OFTEN.

ALL MY LOVE, AUNT ZELDA XXX

MESSAGE STATUS:
OUTWARD MESSAGE

FROM:
PRIVILEGE ACCOUNT HOLDER, ZELDA ZANUBA HEAP @ KEEPER’S COTTAGE, DRAGGEN ISLAND, MARRAM MARSHES

TO:
SARAH HEAP @ THE PALACE, THE CASTLE

DEAREST SARAH,

THIS IS A TRULY TERRIBLE BUSINESS WITH NICKO. IT IS PROBABLY OF LITTLE COMFORT TO YOU, BUT ALTHOUGH UNFORTUNATELY I CANNOT TELL YOU THAT I HAVE SENSED HIS PRESENCE ANYWHERE, I DO FEEL CERTAIN HE IS NOT DEAD. AS YOU REQUESTED, I ATTEMPTED A SCRYING AT THE FULL MOON AND SAW NOTHING BUT WHITE. IT WAS MOST ODD. I DID WONDER AFTERWARD IF I WAS SEEING A WHITE MIST OR SNOW, BUT THAT IS OF LITTLE USE NOW. IT IS A CONUNDRUM. IT IS AS THOUGH HE IS HERE AND YET NOT HERE. ALIVE AND YET NOT—NO NO, I WILL NOT GO ON. THE TRUTH OF IT IS, SARAH DEAR, I HAVE NO ANSWERS.

PLEASE SEND MY LOVE TO JENNA AND SEPTIMUS, AND TO POOR SILAS.

WITH LOVE, AUNT ZELDA XXX

T
HE
E
GG
-O
N
-T
OAST
R
ESTAURANT
G
UIDE

E
ATING
O
UTSIDE THE
C
ASTLE

Sally Mullin’s Tea and Ale House

PROPRIETOR
:
Miss Sally Mullin.

LOCATION
:
A new wooden building on the pontoon just above the Quay. Good river views are somewhat spoiled by the closeness of the amenity to the rubbish dump.

SERVICE
:
Good. Order at the counter and Sally or her assistant will bring it to you.

SPECIALTIES
:
Sally Mullin’s renowned barley cake and Springo Special Ale. The barley cake is a little heavy for some tastes and T
HE
E
GG-ON
-T
OAST
R
ESTAURANT
G
UIDE
advises that you treat the Springo Special Ale with caution.

MENU
:
Many varieties of barley cake, homemade hot pot, small selection of pies, baked potatoes, apple buns and an assortment of hot chocolate drinks and ales.

WE ATE
:
Barley cake and hot pot. My assistant had the Springo Special after being offered sausage pie.

COMMENTS
:
Very enjoyable. Miss Mullin can be a little talkative.

The Egg Box

PROPRIETOR
:
Ava Poltava.

LOCATION
:
Half a mile past the Grateful Turbot you will find a stone hut at the gate of the Chicken Farm—the first farm on the way to the Farmlands. Has yellow-and-white-striped awning on sunny days.

SERVICE
:
Friendly, although a little slow at chicken-feeding times.

SPECIALTIES
:
Soft poached egg in a freshly baked bun.

MENU
:
Anything to do with eggs, including one hundred varieties of omelette.

WE ATE
:
Eggy bread washed down with a glass of eggnog.

COMMENTS
:
Fine, as long as you like eggs and don’t mind the occasional peck.

The Grateful Turbot Tavern

PROPRIETOR
:
Mr. Dan T. Specter and Mrs. P. Geist.

LOCATION
:
Just across the One Way Bridge on the other side of the river.

SERVICE
:
A little gloomy but reasonably efficient.

SPECIALTIES
:
None.

MENU
:
Basic food.

WE ATE
:
Obviously not the sausages. Bean dumplings with cabbage and fish.

COMMENTS
:
The fish was dubious and the authors of T
HE
E
GG-ON
-T
OAST
R
ESTAURANT
G
UIDE
were unwell that night. The inn had a very strange atmosphere. It felt particularly chilly beside the fire.

A NOTE FROM

The Editors

In this volume, you will find a collection of papers that will augment your knowledge of the Castle where the Heap family dwells, as well as papers from the Wizard Tower and the Palace. Many of these are excerpts from previously published works, such as the Pigeon Post Biography series, the Heaps of History series, and other popular pamphlets that have been widely distributed. You will also find some useful flyers and listings for popular destinations and restaurants as well as helpful maps.

Much of the material here, however, has never been published before, such as the private journals of Jenna Heap, Marcia Overstrand, and Septimus Heap. You will also find the secret files of the Supreme Custodian and excerpts from the journals of Stanley and fascinating dispatches from the Message Rat Office.

Read on to enter the world of

SEPTIMUS HEAP

SEARCHABLE TERMS

Note: Entries in this index, carried over verbatim from the print edition of this title, are unlikely to correspond to the pagination of any given e-book reader. However, entries in this index, and other terms, may be easily located by using the search feature of your e-book reader.

Advanced Rules of Ghosthood
, 83

Ancient Glades, 23

Appearance, 52, 71, 81–82

Apprentices (to ExtraOrdinary Wizards), 18–19, 22–25, 59, 65–66, 84–86

Apprenticeships, 54

Bad Old Days, 98, 99

Badger, Romilly, 135

Banda, Milo, 98, 112

Basher, Bert the, 63

Beetle, O. Beetle, 133, 137–139

inspection clerk daybook of, 140–142

Bertha’s Banana Bookshop, 21

Big Bloomer Flower Shop, 21

Big Freeze, 46

Boom, Big Brian, 62

Bott’s Wizard Secondhand Cloak Shop, 124

Bretticus-Petticus, Sir, 117

Brown, Terrence, 61

Café la Gringe, 15, 146

Castle

boat tour around, 10–13

eating in, 14–15

history of, 2–7

tunnels of, 26–27

Causing, 82

Cerys, Queen, 99

Charms, 86, 93–94

Chief Hermetic Scribes, 129, 131–132

daily appointment diary of, 137–139

Picking, 132, 136

Consuming, 29, 47, 48

Crackle, Jenna, 23

Custodian Youth, 51

Darke, 3, 24, 46–47, 130

Darke Magyk, 133

Datchet III, Queen, 11, 13

Dawnie the rat, 154–156

Dead, Guide to Being, 79–83

Djinn, Jillie, 128–129, 132

daily appointment diary of, 137–139

DomDaniel, 29, 46, 48–49, 71, 77, 85–86

Domino, 107

dragon, 11, 75, 120

Dragon House, 12

Draper Clock, 13

Dromendurry, Myriam D., 62

East Gate Lookout Tower, 11

Egg Box, The, 165

Egg-on-Toast Restaurant Guide, 14–15, 164–165

Esmeralda, 12

Etheldredda, Queen, 12, 52, 113

ExtraOrdinary Wizards, 6–7

biographies of, 64–86

first, 57

notable, 61–63

rooms of, 59

Farmlands, 3

Field, Fara, 117

Flying, 82

Forest, 2–3

Forest Night Patrol, 3

Forrest, Dan, 61–62

Fox, Bill, 134

Fox, Hugh, 132

Fume, Tertius, 131

Fyre, Spit, 120

Galen, 23

Gatekeeper, 144–146

Geist, Mrs. P., 165

Gerald, 48, 49

ghosts, 104

in Palace, 116–117

rules for, 79–83

Godric, 116

Gothyk Grotto, 21

Grateful Turbot Tavern, 36, 165

Great Arch, 13, 58

Great Hall, 60

Great Peril, time of, 58

Grebe, Ephaniah, 135

Gringe, Augustus (the Gatekeeper), 144–146

Gringe, Lucy, 145, 155

diary of, 148–152

Gringe, Rupert, 10–13, 145

Gringe, Theodora, 146

Gringe family, 144–152

Gudrun the Great, 116

Haunted Landing Stage, 12

Heap, Benjamin, 23, 85

Heap, Edd, 43, 101

Heap, Erik, 43, 101

Heap, Jenna (Princess Jenna), 52, 102–103, 151

diary of, 104–121

wanted poster for, 42

Heap, Jo-Jo, 43, 101

Heap, Maxie, 43

Heap, Nicko, 25, 39, 41, 105, 106, 152

Heap, Sam, 43, 101

Heap, Sarah Willow, 22–25, 40, 73

Midwinter Feast greeting from, 100–101

sautéed frogs recipe of, 37–38

Heap, Septimus, 18–19, 24, 59, 66, 73–74, 84–86, 100, 103, 104, 106, 152

Apprentice Diary of, 87–94

castle tunnels map of, 26–27

letters to Jenna from, 118, 121

Heap, Silas, 22–25, 35–36, 40, 74, 77, 85

Midwinter Feast greeting from, 100–101

pamphlets of, 57–60, 97–99

Heap, Simon, 41, 46, 100–101, 148, 149, 152

Heap family

file on, 30–33

home of, 32–33

papers of, 34–45

tree, 44–45

wanted posters for, 40–43

Hereward, Sir, 104, 116

Hidden Seeks, 73

Hopefuls, 36, 65–66

Hotep-Ra, 2, 6–7, 57, 61, 131

House Mouse, 91–92

How, Hamilton, 63

Jackson, Brynna, 62

Knight on the Tiles Little Theater, 19, 20

Lane, Linda, 29, 30–31

Larry’s Dead Language Translation Services, 124

Little Theater’s winter schedule, 34

Long Walk, 99

Ma Custard’s Cake Stop, 14

Maarten, Jannit, 24, 39

Mad Jack, 154

Magyk, 60, 65–66, 85, 145

Magykal Manuscriptorium and Spell Checkers Incorporated, 128–129

Manuscriptorium, 13, 58, 128–129

employees of, 133–135

Marram Marshes, 85

Mary, 117

Match, Emily, 39

Meat Pie & Sausage Cart, 14–15

Mella, Alther, 23–24, 70–72, 76–78, 116

Guide to Being Dead, 79–83

letter from, 35–36

Message Rat Office, 153, 157

dispatches from, 160–163

rules of, 157–159

Message Rat Service, 157–159

Mid-Summer Day Feast, 4

Midwinter Feast, 100–101

Moat, 5, 11, 98

Moon, Louanna, 61

Mullin, Sally, 164

Municipal Rubbish Dump, 12

Mussmancers, 13

Nettles, Alice, 78

New Dragon Field, 11

North Gate, 18, 147

North Gate Gatehouse, 4, 12, 144–147

One Way Bridge, 4

Orange Elementary School, 18, 51

Our Castle Story, homework notes from, 109–111

Overstrand, Marcia, 24, 36, 46–47, 59, 63, 64–66, 77, 85, 86, 103, 105–106

in dungeon, 48–49

journal of, 70–75

message from, 53–54, 161, 162

Palace, 11, 96

ghosts of, 116–117

pamphlet on visiting, 97–99

papers from, 96–142

Palace Gate, 97

Palace Guard, 54

Palace Landing Stage, 5, 11

Palace Restoration Fund, 99

Partridge, Colin, 134

Passing Through, 81

Pau, Timothy, 63

Pigeon, Hildegarde, 119

Poltava, Ava, 165

Pot, Billy, 120, 130

Pot, Sandra, 130

Princess, 7, 151. See also Heap, Jenna

lost, 52

Queenling, 29

return to Palace, 53

Unknown, 117

Welcoming Ceremony for, 66

Princess lessons, 107

Purple Elementary School, 18, 39

Pyramid Library, 57, 60

Queen, 5

assassination of, 29

Queen’s Room, 108

Queen’s Way, 108

Queste, Drawing for, 35–36, 66

Ramblings, 9, 12, 16–21

Ramblings Play Association, 18

Rat Hex, 135

RatStranglers, 155–156

ReClaimes, 113

ReNewing, 75

Resting Time, 78, 79

Returned, 72, 80, 81

Sally Mullin’s Tea and Ale House, 12, 164

Sandra’s Palace of Pets, 130

sautéed frogs recipe, 37–38

Second-Chance Scheme, 54, 134

Snake Slipway, 11

Snake Slipway Middle School, 103

South Gate, 12

Specter, Dan T., 165

Spells

creative, level one, 91–92

ReStablized, 130

seven Basyk types of, 90

UnStable, 117, 130

Stanley the rat, 149, 152, 153, 154–156

Supreme Custodian, 28–29, 51

end of reign, 53–54

files of, 30–45

journal of, 46–49

Tarsal’s Fine Boots and Shoes, 125

Tell-Tale-Time, 51

Thistle, Tam, 63

Transformation, 77–78

Transmutation, 78

Wainwright, Young, 117

Watkins, Waldo, 132

Weazal, Sirius, 10–13

Speedy Guide of, 16, 56, 122, 144, 153

Wizard Sandwiches, 15, 127

Wizard Tower, 8–9, 20, 53–54, 56

dungeons, 48–49

features of, 60

how to behave when visiting, 67–69

pamphlet on, 57–60

papers from, 56–94

Wizard Way, 58, 122

shops and services of, 123–130

Wizard Way Conservation Society guide, 123–130

Wyvald, Tom, 126

Wyvald’s Witchy Bookshop, 126–127

Young Army, 54, 85

cadet officers in, 87

rules and regulations of, 88–89

Zelda, Aunt, 105, 108, 160, 163