The Man You Need (Love on Tour #4) (15 page)

17

I wasn’t surprised when there was a knock on my door twenty minutes later. And I shouldn’t have been surprised that when I didn’t answer it, the door opened anyway another ten minutes later.

Mike and his spare keys.

“Stacey,” Jack said slowly, walking toward me.

I was a mess. I was propped up against the headboard, the remote control in my hand. The TV was turned off at the moment because I’d been in a pattern of turning it on, flipping through the channels for a couple minutes, turning it off, then doing the whole thing over again. A pile of Kleenex sat on the floor beside the bed. I was sure my eyes were red from crying, and I’d stripped off all my clothes and was sitting in a giant shirt that had once belonged to Sean and a pair of boxer shorts that Jack had left in my room a few nights ago.

“Um, hi,” I said weakly.

Jack, on the other hand, looked freaking amazing. He walked to the edge of bed, his long legs leading the way. He was in shorts again, and I nearly groaned as I watched the muscles in his thighs tighten as they moved. He sat down next to me, kicked off his shoes and moved fully onto the bed so that we were both propped up against the headboard, our legs spread out on the mattress in front of us.

“I think you should tell me what’s going on,” he said.

“I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hmmm. Okay. Let’s start at the beginning. What happened between the end of the bus ride and when I saw you outside the bar?”

“Nothing. I tried to find someone to hang out with. But no one was around.”

I turned the TV on and started my flipping routine again. Jack grabbed the remote out of my hand. He flicked off the TV and threw the remote to the other side of the room. Then he grabbed my chin and turned me toward him.

“Nothing?”

“Really. That’s it. No one was available. I was going to talk to the Concierge and find something to do by myself.”

“Okay, and then what happened?”

“Then I spotted you and Sharyl.” Jesus, I had no idea what to say to him. How did you tell someone you were not supposed to have any kind of romantic feelings for that you were insanely jealous?

“And?”

I shrugged.

“You didn’t want me to be with Sharyl?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay.”

“Are you mad?” I asked shyly.

“No. Why would I be mad?”

“Because I have been nagging you non-stop to ask her out.”

“Yeah, but I probably should have known better than to actually do it.”

“What? What do you mean by that?”

He sighed and leaned closer to me. “I was pissed at you for harassing me about it all the time, and for telling my grandma. And I acted out of spite. It was stupid.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“Fuck.” A tear leaked out of my eye.

Jack caught it with his finger, then he laid his hand on my cheek. “It’s okay, Stacey. I’m not happy you’re hurting right now. But I’m glad you were jealous.”

He put his other hand on my face. Now we was holding me between his big hands. His lips were just inches from mine. And all the knots inside of me just melted away.

“Yeah?” I looked down at his lips. It was a mistake. He leaned in and kissed me.

He was soft and gentle. I was not. I pushed him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him. I kissed him like a crazy woman. When I moved to nip at his earlobe, he started to say my name. I ignored him and moved my hands down to the button of his shorts.

He grabbed both of my hands in one of his and rolled me over on the bed. Then he straddled me. I knew this move. Jack wanted me to come first. I tried to get him to release my hands so I could pull off the boxers I was wearing, but he held fast.

Jack leaned down, his lips just millimeters from mine. “Slow down, Stacey,” he whispered softly.

“Why?”

“Because I am going to make love to you, slowly. Not fast and furious and up against a wall.” His breath fell on my face and I shivered. “And we’re not going to be just friends giving each other orgasms, either. I’m going to get you completely naked. I’m going to take my time and enjoy you, and you’re going to enjoy me, all of me.” He ducked his head and nipped my earlobe before whispering, “So, are you in or out, Princess?”

“In.” It came out on a whoosh of air, but I had no idea where the air had come from because I was certain I hadn’t been breathing through his whole speech.

Jack started kissing me again. It was slow and deep, and so wonderful. He released my hands and I used them to pull his shirt off. Then, for the first time, I rubbed my hands along his bare chest and stomach. He had well-defined muscles, all of which were bunched up and hard at the moment.

Jack pulled my clothes off slowly, licking and kissing each part of me as he exposed it. He took his time, lingering with his fingers and tongue.

Eventually, I managed to get Jack on his back. Then I took
my
time. I waited a long while before I finally pulled off his shorts. I was poised over him, about to take him in my mouth, when Jack took his shorts from me and fumbled in the pocket. I watched him.

Jack pulled a condom out and whispered, “Come here, Princess.”

I went to him, resting myself on his chest. He handed me the condom and I smiled as I ripped the package open and put it on. Then I straddled him, hesitating. I looked at Jack. He was so hot, so beautiful. I wanted him in a way I’d never wanted anyone in my life.

“Stacey, baby,” he said softly.

I leaned down and kissed him. Then I settled myself on him. He filled me up, stretched me. And I felt a million things at once.

****

When I emerged from the bathroom, I looked down at Jack, lying in my bed.

“Why am I not surprised that you weren’t hiding any tattoos under your clothes?”

“What? Did you expect me to be secretly covered in naked ladies and skeletons on motorcycles?”

I sat down on the edge of the bed. “No. I expected a perfectly un-inked body, and that is, of course, what I got. I think that might be a first for me.”

Jack ran a hand over my thigh. “I have to admit I’m surprised you don’t have any.”

“Thought about it. Hell, both my brothers have them, even straight-and-arrow-and-afraid-of-needles Sam. But I never took the plunge.”

“I honestly expected at least one of those lower back tats,” he said, touching me in just the right spot.

“You expected me to have a tramp stamp?”

He shrugged. “I always thought they were sexy.”

“Well, I could never decide what to get, or where to get it, for that matter. I did have a belly ring for a while. But it got infected. I thought about a nose ring. But then I realized that when my allergies kicked in… Gross.”

“You are so not the badass you want everyone to think you are.”

“Don’t tell.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Jack pulled me back into the bed and wrapped me in his arms. “I won’t tell anyone how great the real Stacey is.”

“This lovey-dovey shit has be our little secret, too. Badass Stacey would not be here cuddling with you after a great lay.”

He snuggled against my neck. “You’re not going anywhere.” As if to emphasize this, he intertwined our legs, too.

“We’re in my hotel room, where am I going to go?”

He grinned. “All part of my plan.”

“You planned this?” I hadn’t been focused on it at the time, but it was awfully convenient that he just happened to have a condom with him.

“No. But I’ve been hoping for a long time.”

“Why was there a condom in your pocket?” I pushed myself up on my elbow, suddenly pissed. “Was that for Sharyl?”

“No. I’ve been carrying one around for weeks now.”

“Why?”

“Well, it started with our arrangement. I figured, you never know when we might get carried away.”

“Hmmm. So you weren’t satisfied with that arrangement?”

“No.”

“No? I thought it was pretty damn satisfying.”

“I wanted more.”

“You could have fooled me,” I said.

“See. You’re not the only who can act.”

“Well, you got more. And now our friendship is wrecked.”

“Is it?”

“We broke our agreement,” I pointed out. “And then we made an agreement not to have that agreement anymore. And we definitely broke that.”

“So, we’ll make a new one.”

“Okay? What’s the new one?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’d like to do this as often as possible.”

“Aren’t you afraid of my big brother?”

“No. I’ll talk to him.”

“Talk to him? Are you crazy?”

“He’s just a man, Stacey.”

“No, he’s not. He’s a homicidal maniac when it comes to me.”

“Don’t worry about it, Princess. I’ll take care of it.”

“And us? What’s our new agreement?”

“You tell me. What do you want?”

I ran my hand down his chest. “More.”

“More what?”

“More sex definitely. I’m not sure about everything else.”

“I see.”

“And I want to stay friends.”

“I feel a cliché coming on.”

“I don’t know, Jack. I don’t know how to do this.”

“We could date.”

I scrunched up my face.

“Let me guess, you don’t date.”

“Not really. I mean, I guess I have a few times. I’ve had boyfriends. But they were nothing like you.”

“That’s because I’m not your type.”

“No, you aren’t.”

He smiled and kissed my nose. “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten.”

18

I was folding a shirt that said ‘Rush to Rushton’ across the front. It was a nod to the fact that Sean’s first album, which was over fifteen years old, but had just taken off and was the cause for this whole tour, had his real name on it. It was catchy, and it had been Sharyl’s idea.

“These shirts are really great, Sharyl. You did good.”

“Thank you,” she said, hefting a box onto a table. “They’ve been selling like hotcakes.”

“Listen, Sharyl. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Is this about you and Jack?”

I dropped the shirt I was holding and stared at her.

She didn’t look at me. She just kept pulling shirts out of the box. “Jack already told me.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He apologized for asking me out. He said that he already had a thing for you when he did it, but that he didn’t think you reciprocated. Then last night he found out you did, and you two are dating now.”

“God, I’m sorry.”

She looked at me. “Don’t be. Jack’s a great guy. And I wouldn’t mind having him. But I’m not the kind of girl that begrudges someone else happiness. And I’m not the kind of girl that tries to get something that isn’t mine.” She turned back to her folding. “I have to say, though, that I was a little surprised. I mean, you and Jack… I would never have seen that coming.”

I ignored that comment. I couldn’t really deal with it. So I apologized to her instead. “I feel awful, though. I’m really sorry. I mean, it was kind of my idea to try to hook you guys up.”

“Really? I thought it was Mike’s.”

“Well, him, me, Baby and Bell all collaborated. I was definitely involved.”

“But then you fell for him?”

“I guess.”

She put her hand over mine. “Don’t worry about it, Stacey. I get it.” She went back to folding, and I was just starting to feel better, when she said, “But I do have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“If you and Jack don’t work out. Would you be upset if I tried again?”

A knife twisted in my gut. It wasn’t a mean question, really. And she hadn’t said it to be mean. What she’d said aloud was just the truth, that Jack and I were not going to work out. She knew it, and I should know it, too.

“Of course not.” I smiled. “I wouldn’t begrudge you, either.”

I stayed there, folding shirts with Sharyl for a while. I couldn’t do anything else. I was paralyzed by fear. What had I gotten myself into? I was so deeply attached to Jack. And if we didn’t work out – hell,
when
we didn’t work out – not only was I going to have to try to salvage our friendship, but I would have to deal with him dating again, too. It was a lot to take in when we’d only just begun.

By the time I left Sharyl and went backstage I had gotten myself straight. No, Jack and I were not some forever couple like Sean and Baby. We probably weren’t going to last very long, in fact. But I was enjoying whatever this was between us. So I was going to live it up while I could. I would deal with the consequences later. My happy resolve was shattered just fifteen minutes later when I found Jack.

“You actually told him! You are fucking nuts!” I paced the small security officer’s lounge, running a hand through my hair.

“It’s fine, see, no blood. He didn’t even take a swing,” Jack said, pointing to his face.

“Fuck, what did you say?”

“I told him that we had sex last night.”

“You said that? Just like that? You said, ‘I had sex with your sister last night?’ Did you go ahead and tell him about this morning in the shower, too?”

The idiot actually laughed at me. “No. I said something like, ‘Stacey and I are intimate.’”

“Intimate? What the hell is that?”

“Are you mad that I didn’t wait until you were there to tell him?”

“Hell no! I didn’t want to be around for that. I don’t know why you had to tell him at all.”

“I’m not going to run around and keep a secret. Especially from Sean. I work for him. I respect him. And I want him to respect me.”

“You are such a fucking Boy Scout. I have no idea what I see in you.”

Jack wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. Then he bent his head and peppered kisses along my neck. Oh yeah, that was what I saw in him.

****

I had been dreading seeing my brother again. But it wasn’t like I could avoid him. I had not, however, intended to get trapped alone with him in his green room. Apparently, he’d tricked Baby by getting her and Bell on the phone with Lisa and setting them up in Hank’s room while Hank was on stage. They were lost in their conversation when Sean pulled me into his green room.

“Hey,” he said, once I was locked behind closed doors with him.

“Hey,” I said glumly.

“Let’s talk.”

“God, Sean. I do not want to have the conversation we’re about to have.” I plunked down on the couch and threw my head back.

He sat down next to me. “Okay, what do you want to talk about instead?”

“Really?”

“You just said you didn’t want to have the conversation. I’m going with the flow here. We could talk about Henry. He’s getting better at the walking without falling over thing.”

I stared at him.

“I talked to Sam yesterday. You talk to him lately? Apparently the twins absolutely refuse to sleep at the same time. He and Lisa are both like walking zombies.”

“Okay, I give up, we can talk about it,” I said.

“Okay.”

“You don’t have anything to say?”

He shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”

“Are you pissed?”

“No. Why would I be?”

“I’m sleeping with your tour manager!”

“Okay, well, I’d rather not think about the sex part. But I don’t mind that you’re with Jack. He’s a good guy.”

“You’re happy about this, aren’t you?”

“Kind of. He’s the kind of man you need, Stac.”

“Well, it’s not what you think it is, Sean. We’re just having fun. I’m not going to marry the guy.”

“Okay. I just think you seem happy lately. And I like that. Plus, I don’t feel like kicking the shit out of the guy. It’s new.”

I eyed him. “Don’t get pissed when I dump him, okay?”

“I won’t.”

“So, that’s it, huh?”

Sean threw an arm around me. “Stacey, I have been worrying about you since the day you were born. I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain in the ass all your life. But I just love you so much, kiddo. All I’ve ever wanted is to protect you, keep you safe, and make you happy.”

“I love you too, big brother.”

“I’ve never wanted to change you. I love you just the way you are. But I have to admit that I’m happy to see you changing yourself.”

I rested my head on his shoulder. “I don’t think I’m ready for change, Sean.”

He kissed my head. “No one ever is, sweetheart. But it happens anyway.”

****

The bus ride from Minneapolis to Denver was long. It wouldn’t have been so bad, except that every time Jack touched me all I could think about was getting naked with him. Since that was not even remotely a possibility until we got to the hotel, I spent as much as time as possible with little Henry in my lap. It helped. And so did Tak. He was along for the ride and would stay with us until we hit Seattle.

Tak was the perfect addition to our little group. He was a happy, talkative guy who brought a new light onto the bus. I loved these people, but there was a serious risk of getting sick of them. With a new person around, we were all a little less likely to get cranky on each other.

Plus, the guy was just awesome. He was smart, funny, and downright adorable. And Mike was so happy. There wasn’t a single one of us who didn’t love the sight of a happy Mike. Mike was like the anchor that held everything together. He was always there for everyone – anytime, anything. It was impossible not to love him. So his happiness made everything else seem so much more perfect.

I was also glowing. I couldn’t deny that the last two nights with Jack had affected me... In a good way. I was feeling relaxed, content, and very satisfied. In addition to the great sex, Jack and I continued the easy friendship we’d shared before we’d fallen into bed together. Yesterday morning we slept in late. Then we wandered around the city with giant to-go cups of coffee in our hands. We had dinner, just the two of us, before heading to the venue for the show. And after the show, we went back to the hotel for more amazing sex. It had been a great couple of days.

“I gotta tell you, man,” Hank said to Tak. “You are like the best dressed dude I’ve ever seen in my life.”

It was true. I considered myself pretty good with fashion, but Tak made me look like Baby when it came to clothes. Yesterday he was wearing linen pants, a button-up shirt and a sweater vest. On someone else, it might have looked geeky, or stuffy, or even old-man-ish, but not on him. He looked like he’d just walked out of an ad in a swanky magazine for modern flair. Today he’d gone in a completely different direction. He was wearing blue jeans and a plaid cowboy-style shirt, complete with little metal buttons on the pockets. And he was rocking it.

Tak smiled. “I try.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine how you do it, man.”

“That’s because dressing up to you is finding the T-shirt with the least amount of holes,” Bell said.

“True.”

“So, your amazing sense of fashion must come in handy in your line of work,” I said.

“I guess it does.”

“You like modeling?”

“I do. But I’m thinking about branching out. I’d like to do some work behind the camera.”

“Photography?” Hank asked.

“No, more like being the one who sets up the shoots, picks out the sets, all that. Maybe even doing some agent work. I have a business degree I’d love to use.”

“You should talk to Sam. I mean, he’s just getting started himself, but he’s one smart little punk. He knows what he’s doing,” I said.

“He’s got ‘em lined up, too,” Jack interjected. “I talked to him the other day. He’s turning away new clients at lightning speed.”

I looked over at Jack. “He called you about this?”

Jack shrugged. “He wanted my advice. I told him he should think about getting a partner to take on other clients. He’d still attract them with his name, and the partner could do all the work.”

“I told him the same thing,” Sean said.

“Well, I’d be happy to take his modeling clients. If he tells me what the hell to do with them.”

Sean leaned over and looked at Tak, long and hard. “Tak, I gotta tell you something.”

The air was suddenly very serious. Mike’s face paled and we all watched Sean intensely.

“I have never liked any of Mike’s boyfriends. Not one. None of them were good enough for him. But, you. You are one hell of a dude.” Sean sat back and folded his arms across his chest. “Mike’s happy, Stacey’s happy, and I don’t feel like beating the shit out of anyone. It’s a good day.”

****

I hadn’t thought about my career, or where I was going to live in the near future, or about much of anything, except Jack, for the last week. We had a show in Denver and then we took a mini-vacation in Wyoming before heading to Seattle.

Baby, the former park ranger, took us on a spectacular tour of Yellowstone National Park. We spent three days in the Park, staying in a couple of different historic lodges, hiking, watching wildlife, and generally having an amazing time.

It was so easy to be like this. It was easy to be with Jack. Him falling into step with me on the trail and taking my hand, or pulling me onto his lap as we sat on the ground picnicking near a backcountry geyser, felt so natural. And it was easy because we were with my family, people I was comfortable with, and they totally accepted me and Jack as a couple. I’d never in my life had a relationship like this.

In fact, it was so simple and pleasant that I didn’t even freak out about the fact that I was having a relationship. I’d also left that talk I’d had with Sharyl deep in the shadows of my mind. I didn’t want to think about what was next for us. I was just living in the moment.

But I was pulled out of my bliss when Sam called me as we were getting into bed at the hotel in Ennis, Montana.

“Stac, I have some amazing news!”

“Let me guess. The babies are sleeping at the same time?”

“I wish. No, I got you an audition.”

My brain suddenly stopped. My little world had just grown bigger. Sam was talking about life, career, the outside world. I hadn’t wanted to think about any of that. I was pretending there was no world outside my happy little bubble.

Jack propped himself on his elbow and watched me.

“Stac, are you there?”

“Yeah, Sam. I’m here. Um. What kind of audition?”

“It’s for a TV show. A pilot, actually. The part is one of the leads and I think you’d be perfect for it. The casting director saw one of your plays a few years ago and she’s super interested.”