The Marriage Merger (9 page)

“Braden?”

He didn’t move or acknowledge her presence.
His eyebrows were drawn together as though he was searching for
something in the far off distance. The tendons under her hand were
hard as steel and she realised his hands were clenched into
fists.

She repeated his name.

Suddenly he turned and glared at her.

“When I marry, it won’t be for a reason as
ridiculous as love. There will be no illusions to be shattered. The
woman I marry will know exactly what she’s getting and I intend to
make sure I know exactly what I’m getting. I have no intention of
making the same mistake my father did.”

For a brief flickering moment, pain flared
across his face. Who had hurt him so badly Jenna wondered. She
could feel the raw emotion emanating from him.

“And what mistake was that?” she asked
softly.

His lips thinned into a grim line.

“He married my mother for love. Unfortunately
it wasn’t reciprocated. My father was quite well off when they were
married but she wanted more. She finally got it by running off with
another man - one with four times the money my father had. The fact
that she had abandoned her two children didn’t seem to bother her.
Then she had the gall to screw my father for all she could get when
she divorced him.”

Jenna wondered about Braden’s father. It
wouldn’t have been easy for a man to have been left with two young
children.

“How did your father cope?”

Disgust vied with derision across grim lips
and glacial eyes. “He coped by turning Alicia over to the latest
housekeeper and sending me to boarding school. His love for our
mother didn’t include his children.”

Jenna shuddered. “How old were you?”

“Twelve.” He spat out the word.

Twelve. A very impressionable age in a young
boy’s life. And judging by the pain and anger Braden obviously
found so difficult to control it had left a deep scar on his
psyche. Compassion stronger than she’d ever felt flooded Jenna’s
being.

“So the woman I ask to be my wife will have
to be financially independent before we marry.” Braden’s voice was
cold. “At least that way I know her attraction to me is not based
on avarice. She will be a woman who can cope with the fact that I
won’t be available when business matters keep me away from home for
days and weeks at a time; she will be a suitable hostess for the
dinner parties I have to give; and she will agree to have my
children.”

Jenna realised all but the last criteria
applied to Veronica. Was Braden saying he had picked Veronica for
his wife? If he thought Veronica would have his children Jenna was
sure he was mistaken. She had seen Veronica’s loathing for Caitlin
but realised how quickly she disguised this around Braden.

“You make it sound like a merger,” she
whispered.

“A merger.” He ran the word around on his
tongue as though savouring the taste of it. “Yes. A merger. A
contract that satisfies the needs of the people involved. A
marriage merger.”

“No, Braden. A marriage is supposed to be the
joining of two people who love and care for each other. That’s what
the vows say - ‘to love and cherish as long as we both shall live’.
A merger of the hearts, not just the minds and bodies. What you’ve
described is a business contract.” Her voice gathered strength as
her repugnance to his concept of marriage grew. “You’ll probably
insist your bride sign a pre-nuptial agreement to make sure you
keep your precious money if you break up.”

The quick flash in his eyes confirmed Jenna’s
suspicions. She felt a wave of disgust and disappointment that he
could view marriage in such a cold and calculating manner. She
thought of her own parents’ marriage, of their warm intimate
relationship and the trust that was so vital. What Braden was
proposing was a mockery of all that she believed marriage stood
for.

“I feel sorry for you, Braden,” she said and
walked quickly away before he could reply. She had just reached the
doorway when his hand on her arm spun her around.

“Why do you feel sorry for me?” he demanded.
His hands gripped her arms. “At least I’m honest enough to admit
what I’m looking for in a marriage. What about you, Jenna? You’re
not even honest enough to acknowledge that you’re attracted to me.
You hide behind all that professional relationship nonsense because
you’re not woman enough to admit that you want me as much as I want
you.”

Steel-grey eyes now turned brilliant blue
with raging desire. Before she could reply, before she could shake
herself free from the power of his onslaught, his lips took hers
with a hunger that was echoed in the strength of his arms as they
pulled her greedily against his lean body.

Her first stunned reaction was to fight him,
to push against his chest with determined hands. But he held her
fast, and the raging passion in his kiss made the blood sing in her
veins. Her resistance crumbled, her body melted into his, her hands
sliding up to capture his head.

As though sensing her surrender, his mouth
gentled, the pressure of his lips eased, the rhythm changing to a
slow, hot passion that took all coherent thought away. She felt his
arousal hard and demanding between them and something deep inside
her rejoiced that she had done this to him.

His hands had slipped her blouse from her
skirt and crept underneath to savour her smooth, silky skin. As his
fingers slid over the soft satin of her bra the sensation of liquid
heat between her thighs jolted her back into awareness.

What was she doing? How could she let him
make love to her like this? He had just finished telling her that
love had no place in his future. His view of marriage was so
diametrically opposed to hers there was no chance she could ever
consider any future with him. Physical attraction was there all
right, but it wasn’t enough for her. She wanted love, needed love,
would settle for nothing less.

Fingers that had caressed his clean, soft
hair now pulled his head away from hers. Eyes still glittering blue
with passion gazed into hers.

“No,” she breathed.

“No?” he repeated, stunned.

She wriggled free of his grasp. Her breath,
like his, came in great panting gasps. She was dizzy from the need
to surrender totally to him and bit her tongue to stop herself from
asking him to take her in his arms again.

“I don’t want what you want, Braden,” she
choked out. “I want all the things you despise - marriage for love,
children for love. You might be able to have sex without love, but
I can’t.”

She ran in to her bedroom and closed the
door. And the tears that streamed down her face were not only for
herself but for the man who was so afraid to love he would never
know that already her heart had opened and allowed him to slip
in.

“Chalk up two sleepless nights in a row,”
Jenna commented bitterly to herself as the dark circled eyes of her
reflected face gazed back at her. She threw off her robe and
nightgown and stepped under the shower. The steaming water
revitalized her physically but her spirits were as damp as her
freshly washed hair when she stepped out.

She blow-dried her hair and brushed the
auburn curls until they formed a vibrant halo around her face. She
deliberately dressed in her oldest shorts and baggiest shirt,
unwilling to draw Braden’s attention in any way. She dreaded seeing
him this morning. After she had run to her room she had heard the
front door slam. It had been after midnight when she finally heard
Braden come back.

As she walked into the kitchen Caitlin handed
her a note. It was from Braden.

Jenna it began - no Dear Jenna she noted - I
apologize for my behaviour of last night. Be assured it won’t
happen again. I won’t be back from Brisbane until late tonight so
don’t keep dinner for me. Braden.

Well, that was certainly to the point. A
mixture of relief and disappointment sped through her. Relief that
she didn’t have to face him but disappointment that she wouldn’t
see him. Oh, how contrary could she get! She crushed the note and
threw it at the bin in frustration. How could she love a man who
made her feel so bad, so confused? And the longer she stayed the
worse it would get. She saw Caitlin watching her, the dark eyebrows
lowering, her bottom lip quivering.

Instantly Jenna was contrite. She knew how
easily children picked up on adults’ vibes. Perhaps Braden’s
demeanour this morning was less than sunny. She knew how aroused he
was last night and it would hardly have improved his temper if he
had stayed that way all night. But perhaps he hadn’t. Perhaps when
he’d left it was to go back to Veronica and take what she so
obviously was offering. Jenna tried to stifle the cruel pain that
thought invoked. She bent down to Caitlin, and smiled.

“Is there anything special you would like to
do today, Possum?”

Caitlin’s face cleared and she nodded.
Swiftly she limped across to the lounge room and came back with a
newspaper. A large advertisement showed the animal characters from
The Lion King. Jenna knew theatres often played the old movies
during school hours for the children who had been too young to see
the original screening.

“Would you like to see the movie?” Jenna
asked, and Caitlin nodded enthusiastically. Jenna glanced again at
the paper. “There’s an afternoon session. That will give us some
time in the pool this morning.” No matter what happened with
Braden, she was determined to get Caitlin as strong as
possible.

Caitlin’s fingers dug into Jenna’s arm.
Simba, the cub in The Lion King, was gazing down at his father’s
dead body and crying. Jenna could have kicked herself. She should
have found out what the story entailed before bringing Caitlin. She
had forgotten that even animated films could be as brutal as real
life.

Caitlin was staring up at the screen, tears
slowly rolling down her cheeks as she empathized with Simba.

“Do you want to leave?” Jenna whispered.
Caitlin shook her head, but her fingers remained tight on Jenna’s
arm.

The movie progressed through the next stages
of Simba’s life until it reached the point where it was revealed to
Simba that his father, Mufasa, was looking down at him from heaven
and was still guiding him, still loving him and encouraging him to
grow into the brave lion king he knew his son to be. Jenna saw the
radiant hope on Simba’s face mirrored on Caitlin’s.

They stepped out of the cinema and stood
blinking in the daylight in the half dazed way most people feel
when wrenched from the make-believe world back into the real one.
Jenna glanced at her watch. It would soon be dark.

“Would you like to eat here?”

Caitlin nodded slowly, still drained from her
emotional involvement with the movie. Jenna took her hand and they
walked to one of the outdoor cafes.

Now that Caitlin was no longer dragging her
leg she had lost a lot of her dread of public places. Her
fashionable light denim coveralls hid the scarring on her leg and
Jenna had bought her a pair of sports sneakers before they went to
see the movie.

Jenna let Caitlin choose their meal from the
menu lists she read out. Hamburgers and french fries. A cappuccino
for her and a milkshake for Caitlin.

Caitlin munched contentedly on her food, a
peaceful, dreamy look on her face. Jenna hoped she was right in her
guess as to the reason for this.

“Caitlin.”

The girl looked up expectantly.

Jenna took a deep breath. “Your Daddy’s up in
Heaven, Possum, just like Simba’s daddy.”

Caitlin nodded.

“And you know he’s looking down on you all
the time and he still loves you, don’t you?”

This time the nod was slower, but her
expression was more accepting, if a little sad.

“When your Daddy died, Possum,” Jenna
continued, “your Mummy was terribly upset, just like you were. And
when your Mummy saw that you had been hurt she felt even more upset
because she didn’t know what to do to help you, and so she got
sick. It wasn’t your fault. Sometimes these things happen and
there’s nothing we can do to prevent them.”

Caitlin’s eyebrows furrowed together. Jenna
guessed that even if Alicia’s illness had been explained to Caitlin
before, the girl had probably not been capable of understanding
because of the shock of her father’s death and her own horrific
injuries. Now she had reached a stage where she could assimilate
the information and see the reason for her mother’s strange
behaviour.

She watched Caitlin digest her words, the
expressive little face indicating that she was coming to terms with
the fact that she wasn’t to blame for her mother’s condition. “You
know, Possum, I bet if your Mummy could see how well you can walk
now it would make her feel a whole lot better. And just wait till
she sees you doing water ballet. She’ll be so proud of you.”

A spark of hope brightened the grey eyes.

Jenna mentally crossed her fingers. She was
gambling that any progress in Caitlin’s physical condition would
encourage a corresponding improvement in Alicia’s mental condition.
A germ of an idea took root. She would need Braden’s help. No
matter how furious he felt towards her she was sure that when it
came to Caitlin she would have his full co-operation.

It was dark when the taxi pulled up in front
of the gate at the apartment building. Caitlin had been thoughtful
on the way home, but as they rode up in the elevator to the
penthouse she tightened her hold on Jenna’s hand and smiled up at
her. Jenna’s heart did a quick flip. It was the first smile she had
seen on Caitlin’s face, and it reminded her so much of Braden it
was almost a physical blow.

They stepped out of the elevator and Jenna
inserted the key into the penthouse front door lock. As she started
to turn the key the door was flung open and Braden stood there,
worry and relief warring across his face.