The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 (40 page)
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Authors: Athol Kay
BOOK: The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011
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We’ll head to the mall and watch the movie "Date Night" together. It's a 6:55pm show time, so we’ll probably have a snack and drink before the movie at one of the places inside the mall. Hopefully the movie will be good, a little sexy and funny—a grown-up movie we can’t see with the kids around. There will probably some hand holding as we’re walking through the mall
. At some random point I will likely physically pull her into a store to look at something - I mean simply say
"Oh look at that!"
and walk into the store still holding hands making her follow. The other subtle move is the lower back push to go into a store. The tactic depends on whether you are closer to the entry of the store or she is. It should be as natural as possible - it's just something that's happening.
. At some random point I will likely physically pull her into a store to look at something - I mean simply say
"Oh look at that!"
and walk into the store still holding hands making her follow. The other subtle move is the lower back push to go into a store. The tactic depends on whether you are closer to the entry of the store or she is. It should be as natural as possible - it's just something that's happening.
After that will be a location bounce to get sushi (her favorite) and possibly another drink. Sushi always makes her happy; the exotic and the erotic are kissing cousins for most women. (As an aside, sushi girls rock… I mean, if she'll put raw fish in her mouth….) The location bounce is usually to further isolate her, and a small sushi restaurant is more intimate than a shopping mall. There will be lots of opportunity to touch on the way in and out of the restaurant. While sitting across the table from each other, I’ll compliance test her by reaching across the table with my palm upwards, seeking her compliance to put her hand in mine. It’s leading her into a subtle physical escalation.
The next move will be another location bounce in the direction of home. Obviously the point of Date Night is a long session of sex, but I've been instigating this further by picking out a "couples oriented" DVD for the evening. Jennifer already knows about this, she agreed with the choice when I ordered it on Sunday. When it arrived on Tuesday I saw the mailman come and I purposely left it in the mailbox so
she
had to handle it and take in the house. It pretty much forced her to walk up to me and say
"Does this box contain the pussy plutonium we need for the bomb we're making on Friday?"
“Yes dear, it does
.” Okay so she phrased the question differently, but that's what she meant.
she
had to handle it and take in the house. It pretty much forced her to walk up to me and say
"Does this box contain the pussy plutonium we need for the bomb we're making on Friday?"
“Yes dear, it does
.” Okay so she phrased the question differently, but that's what she meant.
After that, the plan is that the night turns into a long slow session of making out in the living room, fondling and squeezing as many orgasms out of Jennifer as she can manage without damaging her basic life support functions. She watches adult movies pretty much only on Date Night so they really get to her. Also the movie is apparently all my idea, so it bypasses any remaining anti-slut defense and allows her to enjoy it more. She’s just tolerating me being a bad man or something. When she can't handle anymore orgasms, it's my turn. My turn being me on top and riding her to a firm finish with just a touch of the spurs at the end; I am, of course, very overconfident with Jennifer.
For this Date Night, Jennifer also went out and hunted down something
less comfortable
to wear. I had no clue what it was going to be exactly, but I did praise and positively acknowledge what she was doing. Whatever it is will be fine. The point is she's trying to please me, so I'm telling her I'm pleased. When a woman who enjoys being at all submissive to you does something nice for you and you say thank you… her vagina tingles a little.
less comfortable
to wear. I had no clue what it was going to be exactly, but I did praise and positively acknowledge what she was doing. Whatever it is will be fine. The point is she's trying to please me, so I'm telling her I'm pleased. When a woman who enjoys being at all submissive to you does something nice for you and you say thank you… her vagina tingles a little.
(23.3) How It Really Played Out
Because she reads my blog, Jennifer knew all my plans, so I was naturally assuming that things would not go exactly to plan.
So I had said…
“…
as we drive [the girls] to Grandma’s, I will most likely touch her on the thigh about three times. She'll put her hand on top of mine, letting me know she likes it.”
as we drive [the girls] to Grandma’s, I will most likely touch her on the thigh about three times. She'll put her hand on top of mine, letting me know she likes it.”
After about a minute driving, I very obviously reach out and pat her thigh and gently squeeze it. She looks down, looks at me, bursts into hysterical laughter and then puts her hand on top of mine. It’s supposed to be a comfort building move that just subtly works its magic, but obviously I’ve tipped my hand here. Now my move is purposely goofy;
“Hey baby I’m gaming you, I’m a pickup artist!”
It only works if she wants to be gamed… and she does, so it works. She’s laughing, my hand is on her thigh, and her hand is on top of my hand. Don’t forget that after a certain threshold women actively enjoy being seduced and can be in on the game. They aren’t stupid.
“Hey baby I’m gaming you, I’m a pickup artist!”
It only works if she wants to be gamed… and she does, so it works. She’s laughing, my hand is on her thigh, and her hand is on top of my hand. Don’t forget that after a certain threshold women actively enjoy being seduced and can be in on the game. They aren’t stupid.
Later on in the thirty minute drive I repeat the move, but in the standard variant. It’s just a touch and a squeeze and she pats her hand on mine. It’s just something we do together.
Hi there, I like you, I’m happy to be driving somewhere with you
. She’s right there and I like her, so I touch her.
Hi there, I like you, I’m happy to be driving somewhere with you
. She’s right there and I like her, so I touch her.
With the kids dropped off at Grandma’s, we are off to the mall. We get the movie tickets then eat at the Olive Garden (She had coupons to use, which makes her very wet, so I roll with it). I tend not to be an adventurous eater, I could probably just order cheeseburgers everywhere and be perfectly happy, but Jennifer likes food variety and new places. Neither one of us had been to the Olive Garden, so I gain valuable points for taking her there. We share an appetizer and then swap some food off each other’s plates and generally yap about work, the blog, life in general. It was a fun conversation.
After dinner we have an hour and a bit to walk the mall before the movie. As we go up or down the escalators we always kiss and cuddle a little. I’m six feet tall and Jennifer is five feet tall, so escalators are always exciting to us because we get a fifteen second make out moment with our height differential adjusted. Again it’s just something we do together. Yep… escalators are sexy time in our marriage.
So we walk the mall together, remembering that I’ve said…
“
There will probably some hand holding walking through the mall. At some random point I will likely physically pull her into a store to look at something - I mean simply say "Oh look at that!" and walk into the store still holding hands making her follow. The other subtle move is the lower back guide along push to go into a store. The tactic depends on whether or not you are closer to the entry of the store or she is. It should be as natural as possible - it's just something that's happening.”
There will probably some hand holding walking through the mall. At some random point I will likely physically pull her into a store to look at something - I mean simply say "Oh look at that!" and walk into the store still holding hands making her follow. The other subtle move is the lower back guide along push to go into a store. The tactic depends on whether or not you are closer to the entry of the store or she is. It should be as natural as possible - it's just something that's happening.”
We’re walking and looking in stores and holding hands at times and generally just popping in and out of stores and window shopping. I’ve still not really done “the big move” as we come up to Victoria’s Secret. Obviously, I am going to turn my head and look into the store... I’m caught looking and she doesn’t get the hand yank move. Next thing I know Jennifer puts her hand in the small of my back and
shoves
me into Victoria’s Secret!
shoves
me into Victoria’s Secret!
So we snoop and look. Jennifer is a picky shopper so she’s trolling for sales. At the underwear area one of the five “ass mannequins” in the center of a display catches my eye.
“I wanna see you wearing this one”
I say pointing to the ass mannequin with no panties on. I get a mock groaning
“Dude”
plus a fake eye roll of disgust coupled with a smile.
"It's a good look for you though..."
“I wanna see you wearing this one”
I say pointing to the ass mannequin with no panties on. I get a mock groaning
“Dude”
plus a fake eye roll of disgust coupled with a smile.
"It's a good look for you though..."
So we walk a little more and then head up to the movie. We’re in a little early and have the movie theatre to ourselves. I’m tempted to make a very naughty suggestion or make inappropriate attempts to get my hands inside her shirt, but this would probably backfire, so I behave. Within about one minute a few more people wander in, so this was a good decision. The movie
“Date Night”
was a little silly in places, but generally good. Jennifer liked it too, so it's all good. After that we leave and start heading in the general direction of home.
“Date Night”
was a little silly in places, but generally good. Jennifer liked it too, so it's all good. After that we leave and start heading in the general direction of home.
The original plan was a location bounce to get sushi because she likes it but we’re actually both still a little full from the Olive Garden. We decide on coffee and dessert at the Ninety-Nine (bar and grill chain) but make a last minute detour to Wrapsody which is a little more grown up. Jennifer has never been there (I’ve been once for a work thing) so again this gets me points for “variety and interesting”. Jen gets spiked coffee, I have regular coffee and Tawny Port and we share cheesecake. Her coffee is a Raspberry White Chocolate thing and is amazing.
So after that we head home and start a long, slow session on the couch together watching
“Bodies in Unison”
from the Playgirl DVD line. It’s basically vanilla porn, boy-girl, oral/vaginal, no crazy ass to mouth scenes, no stupid cock gagging blowjobs. The guys and girls looked pretty good and it’s standard porn with terrible dialogue/acting, with the music mixed a little loud. I can go a little harder core and like it, but not much further than that. Maybe I’m odd, but I still like vaginal sex and women. I’ve got my silk boxers on, Jennifer in a silk top and filmy thin panties and we cuddle and fondle under the blanket. Then we do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
“Bodies in Unison”
from the Playgirl DVD line. It’s basically vanilla porn, boy-girl, oral/vaginal, no crazy ass to mouth scenes, no stupid cock gagging blowjobs. The guys and girls looked pretty good and it’s standard porn with terrible dialogue/acting, with the music mixed a little loud. I can go a little harder core and like it, but not much further than that. Maybe I’m odd, but I still like vaginal sex and women. I’ve got my silk boxers on, Jennifer in a silk top and filmy thin panties and we cuddle and fondle under the blanket. Then we do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
(23.4) Make Sure Date Night Is Special
As final thought, we all have a variety and interest gene that needs satisfaction. It’s the dopamine based thing again. If you were single and dating, you can go to the same place and do the same thing every time, but with a different woman and still get your variety needs met. When you are married though, you can’t get your variety need met from the same woman, unless you frequently do something different with her. It’s very important to inject variety and newness into a Date Night, or maybe it’s better to not go at all. Don’t make a special night a boring night for her. Variety is the spice of wife.
Chapter 24
Rough Stuff
(24.1) This Chapter is Different
This chapter is a little different from the rest of the book, because everything I’ve covered before now, you can just go ahead and do without asking her about it first. She isn’t going to have a problem with you kissing her, or asking her out on a Date Night, or even having a strong pounding in the missionary position. She isn’t going to react badly when you start doing your laundry, fixing up the house or losing twenty pounds either.
But when you start moving into the realm of trying to tap into the raw erotic potential of being
physically
dominant with her, you need her active consent and cooperation to do this safely together. Neither one of you should be getting hurt from exploring this, nor should you create a situation where someone could be arrested because you failed to communicate and agree beforehand.
physically
dominant with her, you need her active consent and cooperation to do this safely together. Neither one of you should be getting hurt from exploring this, nor should you create a situation where someone could be arrested because you failed to communicate and agree beforehand.
You can’t
make
her physically submit to you without it becoming a violent assault. But she can
choose
to physically submit to you willingly, to experience the sensations that doing so brings. When you explore this together, you should see it as playing a game together; it should be as different as a
fight
and a
play-fight
are in both of your minds.
make
her physically submit to you without it becoming a violent assault. But she can
choose
to physically submit to you willingly, to experience the sensations that doing so brings. When you explore this together, you should see it as playing a game together; it should be as different as a
fight
and a
play-fight
are in both of your minds.
When a father play-fights with his young children, he is clearly bigger, stronger, more powerful and in control. He is clearly dominant over the children and can tickle them, pin them, hold them upside down and playfully rough them up; but he doesn’t seek to hurt them. The kids on the other hand get huge enjoyment from being dominated and toyed with like that. It’s exciting but safe. A father that just beats his children though is a monster.
Because of all the programming built into us from The Time Before Writing, most women respond to a physically dominant male with unconscious sexual attraction. It’s just her Body Agenda at work seeking good genes for a possible pregnancy and making her responsive to him. So while very clearly no woman wants to be sexually assaulted by a man she does not want, there is an erotic thrill to be had from submitting to the physical dominance of a man she does want. It can be exciting and safe. A husband that just beats his wife though is a monster.
And like everything else you try in the bedroom, only 30% of it will work for any particular couple. So talk about it, try it and see how it goes.
(24.2) Hair Pulling
Hair pulling is a physically dominant move in that once you have a good grip on her hair, you have control over her head. Once you have control over her head, you have essentially gained control over her entire body and can lead her anywhere. If you remember anything from playground fights when you were little, if someone had your hair good, you were pretty much on the losing end of the fight.
So when you get a good hold on her hair, her body experiences a sensation to either fight you off, or submit to you physically. Seeing as you already have a fist full of her hair, you’ve already established that you would win a fight with her, so her body opts for submission and greater sexual response to you.
In general the more hair you get hold of, the better enjoyed it is by her. If you just get a hold of some of her hair, you risk pulling it out, plus it will hurt if you have only some of her hair. If you can get almost all her hair in your hand, it spreads the pull over more of her head so it’s a greater sensual experience, and the pulling is spread more evenly so it doesn’t hurt either.
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