The Maverick's Red Hot Reunion (Entangled Indulgence) (14 page)

“I’m with you,” he cried.

His release pulsated through his length and her body contracted, taking him deeper and fusing them as one. Uniting them. They crested over the last edge of reason and cried each other’s names in unison as they shattered into a million starbursts of light together.

Chapter Sixteen

A week before the ALS fundraising benefit, Zach had contacted his father’s board of directors and arranged to stay longer in Sweetbriar Springs. He’d conferred with his father about opening additional offices in Atlanta and Asheville. While he’d still travel a lot, Zach had made it clear that he planned to stay in the southeast. Now Kennedy nurtured a smidgeon of hope. Hope that had taken root and bloomed in her heart. Hope for a different future with Zach. A future filled with love and laughter and life. If she couldn’t bear Zach’s children, they’d adopt. Of all people, Zach would understand that there were children in the world who needed to have a family.

Stepping lightly, she entered the resort’s kitchen. “Is my basket ready?” Kennedy asked the new chef.

“Sure thing.” The chef pointed. “It’s on the counter next to the fridge. You think the weather’s warm enough to go to the hot springs?”

Kennedy had asked the new culinary genius Zach had stolen from the competition in Asheville to prepare something special. The chef assured her that everything in the basket had been carefully selected to promote romance, love, and new beginnings.

Flurries of snow flecked across the window pane that overlooked the resort’s restored grounds. “We’ll be fine.” Nothing could mar her enthusiasm. Not even a dip in the temperature. “There’s a heated pavilion and the waters are always hot.” As was the fire burning bright between her and Zach.

“I packed a thermos of hot chocolate just in case,” the chef said. “Though I doubt you’ll need it.”

Kennedy crossed over the gleaming floors and picked up her picnic. “Thanks for doing this,” she said. “I owe you.” And she owed her crew for decorating the gazebo while she’d supervised the addition of red, white, and pink poinsettias as well as the installation of twinkling white lights twirling around evergreen garland.

“Not a problem.” Her sassy chef lifted an eyebrow. “I’m all for aiding and abetting a romantic rendezvous.”

Her cell phone vibrated in her back pocket. Ignoring it out of courtesy to her chef, Kennedy teased, “You’re next.”

“Just because you’re all goo-goo eyes and in love doesn’t mean that I’m in the market.” She cracked an egg and dropped the contents into a bowl of ground meat. “I’m single, free, and loving it.”

Kennedy laughed. “One day you’ll find the right man and you’ll change your mind.” After all, she’d found hers. Not once. But twice.

She waved good-bye, then hurried to the lobby past a towering evergreen tree topped by a winking star and bedecked with red ribbons and shiny baubles. Outside, the lodge had been wrapped in draperies of green with bright holly berries and tiny lights. Inside, flames blazed in the oversized fireplace and filled the air with the scents of pine, smoke, and earth.

Kennedy glanced through the windows to the left of the entrance. Winter storms had coated the grounds with a blanket of snow, and each tree branch had been covered with white lace. Frigid winds whipped flecks of ice across the parking lot. Gray skies accented the skeletal trees shorn of their leaves, but a patina of festivity enveloped Sweetbriar Springs.

Her belly dipped and rolled. Nerves tingled and a lightheartedness ballooned inside her lungs. Tonight had to be the perfect time to tell Zach everything. After all, Christmas was a season filled with possibilities. She gripped the handles of her basket and tried to dismiss her lingering doubts. Yes, they had obstacles to overcome, but Zach had changed and so had she. Together, they would be an unbreakable force.

Her mother waved from the other side of the lobby and called, “Your dad’s challenged your cousins to a pool tournament. You want to join in?” Everyone had booked rooms in the renovated resort and Kennedy welcomed the giant family sleepover.

“No.” She raised her basket. “I’ve got plans with your future son-in-law.” And for the first time in weeks she believed the words would come true. “Tell everyone I’ll kick their tushes tomorrow.” Michael was scheduled to come to the resort in a few short days along with the rest of his family. Hannah had already started stocking the wellness spa with her exclusive line of massage oils and skin creams.

“Will do,” her mom answered.

Tonight had a bigger and better payoff than liberating her cousins from their money. Tonight Kennedy had decided to risk her heart one more time. And tonight she banked everything on giving her and Zach a genuine second chance at love.

But first she had to pry Zach away from his computer. Food provided an excellent lure. As did the sexy tights, short skirt, and figure-hugging ribbed sweater she’d changed into after work.

Smiling, she stepped into Zach’s office. “I’ve got sustenance,” she said, carrying the picnic basket to his desk.

“Is there scotch in there?” he asked, gripping his cell phone so tightly she could see the whites on his knuckles.

His voice was flat, devoid of emotion. Trepidation crept into her heart. “What’s wrong?” She placed the basket onto his desk with trembling hands, remembered the earlier buzz on her cell phone, and a sudden, sick feeling settled low.

Kennedy drew out her phone, read with growing horror the message from Michael’s mother. The ground shifted beneath her feet and air whooshed through her ears. “Oh my god, it’s Michael.”

Zach’s face was pale, grim. “He’s taken a turn for the worse. The specialist’s not sure if he can save him.” He stood and held her gaze with serious dark eyes. “He might not make it through the night, let alone get to the fundraiser at the end of the week.”

Her heart pounded and roared through her veins with denial screaming through every artery. “No,” she cried.

She heard her phone clatter to the ground. Zach was with her in an instant, enveloping her in his comforting arms. “I’ll go up there,” he promised. “Hire more doctors. Bring him home.”

His voice was choked, thick, as he wiped her tears with his thumb. She fought for the courage to be brave in the face of this news. Pulled valor from a wealth of suffering she’d endured and cloaked herself with the faith she’d gained.

Finally, her heartbeat steadied and a strange sense of calmness washed through her. “Zach,” she said, “we all knew this day might come. If not today, then one day. We have to prepare ourselves for his loss.”

More tears pricked behind her eyes. Her friend could die tonight. The boy who had hunted frogs with her. The teenager who had taken her to prom as his date to support her. The man who had brought Zach into her life could leave forever.

But she refused to say good-bye until he was gone.

Zach hit the wall behind his desk over and over and over. “I hate this damn disease. I hate that it’s taking him away. I hate that I can’t fix what’s broken.”

Kennedy stopped his flying fists, held his bruised and bleeding hands in hers. “We already know how unfair life is, but we can’t change reality.” A wave of sadness washed through her. “Loss is inevitable.”

“I refuse to believe he’s going to die.” Zach jerked out of her grip. “I won’t give up trying to save him.”

A hollow feeling settled behind her breastbone. “I don’t want him to leave, but I don’t want him to suffer either. I’m trying to hold onto the now. To the fact that he’s still here.”

“Why, Kennedy?” He stepped back, his face a mask of anger, grief, and frustration. All the years between this moment and the worst time they’d endured carved harsh lines across the planes of his handsome features. “Why is it so easy for you to let people go?”

She had to believe in the unknown, because not believing gave no meaning to the suffering she’d already endured. “I don’t say good-byes easily.” Kennedy pressed her palms over her barren womb. “I’ve just learned I have to accept life’s cruel blows.”

A muscle jumped in Zach’s temple. “That’s not what you yelled at me five years ago.”

The crushing loss of their stillborn daughter hung in the air between them. The moments stretched into longer minutes as they held each other’s gazes. She’d yelled horrible lies the day she’d ended their relationship. But the words had been born out of grief and guilt and terror.

And Zach had never given her an opportunity to tell him why she had been so afraid.

“That was a terrible argument that spiraled out of control,” Kennedy said quietly, her heart aching.

Though she’d planned to tell Zach why she’d been so afraid to risk another pregnancy. And she’d hoped he would understand why she’d withheld the information and love her enough to give them both a second chance. But now she realized a part of her had been waiting for Zach to ask her why she’d been so desperate to avoid getting pregnant again.

Had he changed? Could he see past her grief-stricken words spoken in terror and desperation so long ago and move forward with compassion? Or would he shut down, hide behind his compulsion to control every situation?

This time he had to try to reach out to her first. Her heart depended on his compassion.

…

“Arguments spinning out of control are your area of expertise. All I did was try to give you what I thought we both wanted. Another baby. Guess I was wrong.” Zach turned away. “Shut down operation for the day. We’ll pick up the pace tomorrow. Make sure everything’s completed in time for the fundraiser.”

Kennedy’s stomach clenched when she heard his detached, back-to-business-as-usual tone. A void stretched between them, but still she tried to reach across the divide to give him a way to cross over her heart’s bridge.

“We have to talk about what happened the day we broke up,” she said.

“I haven’t got time to waste on old arguments.” Zach lifted his leather coat and shrugged it on. “Nor do I need to cope with another one of your manic outbursts.”

Every molecule inside her body chilled to subzero temperatures. Zach the Judge and Jury had returned in full force, and her only defense was to remain calm or explode. Otherwise they’d repeat the same argument, and she refused to be accused of overreacting again.

“I don’t have any desire to deal with your unwillingness to hear me out.” She rubbed the heel of her hand against her chest. “For once, listen to me without planning your response while I speak.”

He slanted his gaze across her body. “What’s the point? We promised to park the past where it belonged. This was a temporary arrangement that we agreed wouldn’t last.”

Her heart crystallized to ice. Zach’s retreat into his corporate shell obliterated Kennedy’s dreams. Where was the man who had exposed his heart to her? Where had the Zach gone who had shared his deepest wounds? She wanted that man to be in this room with her. Not this emotional robot.

He moved to step around her, but she caught his sleeve. She would not let him just ignore her this time. She would not let him run away from the pain. And she would not let him leave without hearing her out.

“We have to talk about Brianna.”

The lines in his face deepened and his eyes glistened. “I loved her from the moment you told me you were pregnant. I wanted her as much as I wanted you.”

She held his gaze. “I miss her, too,” she said quietly.

“Then why did you tell me you never wanted her?” he demanded.

Sorrow banded around her chest, popping the nails she’d hammered into the coffin holding her grief. After all the time they’d had to reconnect, to know each other again, Zach tenaciously gripped onto what had happened five years ago and rammed her with his anger. Had he forgotten everything he’d learned about her these past few weeks? Was she still to blame for her grief driving them apart?

A great sob welled inside her and pushed against her breastbone. All her anguish wracked through her in a tidal wave of tears she’d swallowed for years.

Tears she’d told him she’d finished shedding.

They clogged her throat, filled her eyes. “I couldn’t go through that kind of loss again.” If he could be the man she’d shared her bed with these last two weeks, maybe they had a chance to save their hearts.

“I thought we were happy.” Zach held her shoulders and closed the scant distance between them. “The pregnancy pushed us faster along the path, but I wanted to marry you. I wanted to try again. But you refused to listen to me. All along I believed you wanted a family, but you lied to me.”

A white-hot, searing pain pressed behind Kennedy’s eyes. She’d survived the lonely emotional desert once. But right now, with the memory so vivid, her courage to face another march through those arid, never-ending sorrows evaporated.

She blinked rapidly and tears trailed down her cheeks. “I meant it when I said I wanted a full house of sticky-fingered boys and tough-as-nails girls. But by the time I realized the baby’s movements had stilled, it was too late. And I endured the worst of losing the pregnancy alone.”

He shifted his jaw. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there in the beginning, but I moved mountains to be with you. I know I almost didn’t make it in time. But I was there when she was born. At the end, I was holding you. And I would never have left you alone during another pregnancy after the hell we went through.”

They’d induced labor while Zach had been on route back to the United States. She’d delivered Brianna just moments after he’d rushed into her hospital room. Their baby had arrived into the world still and cold and blue.

Kennedy struggled to control her racing pulse. She had to tell him the truth now if only to exonerate herself for the lie she’d given as an excuse five years ago.

“That’s just it, Zach. You thought we could have another baby, but it wasn’t possible.”

His brows lifted and he released his grip. “Why not? We were young, healthy,
fertile
. Everything was fine. Brianna was healthy up until the third trimester. Did you take on too much heavy work? Risk losing her by overextending yourself? Because there wasn’t any reason for me to believe you’d miscarry when I boarded the plane for Milan.”

His veiled accusation eviscerated her to her very core. “A part of my heart died when I saw the ultrasound and didn’t hear her heartbeat in the doctor’s office.” She clutched her abdomen and moved away. “I don’t need you to blame me for losing Brianna. I had plenty of time alone to lash myself with my doubts. Only you weren’t ever home long enough to hear them.”