The Measure of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 6) (23 page)
Read The Measure of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 6) Online
Authors: Ichabod Temperance
“Queen Tempestia!”
“Rain, rain, rain!”
“It’s so cooling!”
“Rain, rain, rain.”
“I’m not fooling!”
“Rain, rain, rain!”
“It’s a!”
“Rainy, rainy, rainy, day!”
“Why live here, is an answer you’re seekin’,”
“You get used to it, mon, when you’re”
“San”
“Moni”
“Quan.”
“Oh, oh, oh!”
“Carnivalle!”
“Oh, oh, oh!”
“Carnivalle!”
“Oh, oh, oh!”
“Carnivalle!”
“Oh, Happy Happy,”
“Carnivalle!”
“Well, Keefer m’lad, I hope ye’ve learned a thing or two from this lu-u-u-udicrous experience, me bucko.”
“Yeah, O’Hagan, I have. I’ve learned that sometimes the only way to get a vacation to a tropical paradise is to be turned into a zombie slave and kidnapped by a power-mad VooDoo terrorist.”
“Aye, that’s it exactly. I’m glad ye were paying attention, laddie. What about you, Reverend Dolomite?”
“Ah-hah, I learned that I have found the perfect place and position for me to practice my Missionary skills. Praise God! There’s a lot of pretty girls down here to whom I need to proselytize. Hallelujah! Ah-eee-yea-ess!-ah!”
~***~
“Uhb. Oops! Rather, I should say, jolly good Mirabella! You look absolutely ravishing my dear! That light and flouncy island girl sundress can barely contain your wondrous physical charms, my dear. Yes, quite so. Jolly, jolly good, I say!”
“Woi, thanks ye, Tom-Tom Kitty Kat. Oye say, Kit me love, Oye do approve of your going about with your shirt unbuttoned and your brawny, masculine chest pushing through. How’s about scaring up anuthuh round o’ poineapple mugged Pina Coladas and you and me go visit that ‘clothing optional’ beach down the road?”
“I say, rather! Good show, my dear!”
~***~
“Miss Plumtartt, where are you?”
“Over here, Mr. Temperance, I am standing on the beach. Ah, yes, so tell me sir, did you get your ‘chores’ as you refer to your self-imposed duties, fulfilled?”
“Yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am. I done been up to
São Cochon. We were able to free them zombied sailors what was still alive. The charms keepin’ ’em enthralled were locked away in the captain’s cabin. We had a heck of a time fightin’ them boys without hurtin’ ’em too bad to get entrance to that safe spot. Once we dismantled their VooDoo dolls, the sailors came around and quit fightin’ us. They were actually a pretty nice bunch of fellas when they weren’t being hexed into zombie sailor slaves. They were grateful for the release. Most of ’em said they were willing to stay on as hands to continue the ship’s operation, though a change for the name ‘
Giddy Ge’de’
’ is universally agreed on. They all said they wanted to get a bath, though, before they returned to sailor duty. We can relax for a day or two before we leave San Monique.”
“Splendid, Mr. Temperance. I understand that all hexes, charms and curses concerned with this island have been lifted as well. Trade and tourism loom on the horizon for San Monique. The dead may now rest in peace.”
“Many of the local folks are predicting prosperous days ahead for this island and a bright happy future for as far as the eye can see.”
“I suppose there is only one more thing that I could hope for, Mr. Temperance.”
“Really, Ma’am? I thought we had everything covered.”
“No, there is one essential element that I am sure is lacking in our little tale.”
“Hunh? Gee, there’s been all sorts of adventure swirling around us lately, I wonder what it is that we’ve missed?”
“Eh, hem. Let me see. Perhaps I can illustrate my dilemma this way. You and I are standing on this glorious tropical island beach at sunset, correct?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Very good, now I am facing North, and you are facing Southward, yes?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Imagine if you will, a third party, standing to our eastward, inland position. This third person, if you will, has their back to the lush jungle and is observing us with the western horizon behind us.”
“Got it, Ma’am.”
“Excellent. Further imagining of this person’s perspective will have them looking almost directly into the setting sun’s rays. Orange, yellow, and pink rays of light spread an impossibly huge peacock’s fan of light and colour in Sol’s fading moments. A few horizontal bands of clouds are turned a soothing hue of purple. We then, you and I, would form an intervening shadow on this softly glowing background. I think I would very much like to have an image of our two silhouettes meeting together in tender kiss and close embrace to properly bring our story to a happy conclusion.”
“Yes, Ma’am!”
The End.
Afterword:
Miss Plumtartt and I would like to express our deepest gratitude in your having shared in our adventure.
Thank you!
Your pal,
~Icky.
More from the world of Ichabod and Persephone:
The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance
(Volume One of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Two of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Three of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Four of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Five of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Six of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
The Seventh Voyage of Temperance
(Volume Seven of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
(Volume Eight of The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
available in print and for Amazon Kindle at Amazon.com and Createspace.com
