The Memory Jar (24 page)

“Cornbread? No, he hasn’t shared that.” Sarah glanced at Jathan out of the corner of her eye and noticed his cheeks flushing pink. “In fact, there’s much I’m lookin’ forward to hearing.”

Customers entered, and Kay hustled behind the counter to wait on them, but not before offering Sarah a wink. With Kay busy with the two older Amish women at the counter, Sarah turned fully to Jathan. His neck was bright red and he wore a troubled frown.

“Don’t worry.” She placed a hand on his arm. “Whenever you meet my aunts, I’m sure they’ll give you an earful too.”

“You’ll learn everything in time, I suppose.” He turned to the kitchen and cleared his throat. Then he took out a red handkerchief from his pocket and wiped away the sweat beading on his brow. “But for now, let’s talk about what we can do to fix up this place.”

“
Ja
… I’d like that.” She placed her hand under the crook of his elbow and walked with him through the wide doorway to the kitchen. “I can’t wait to get started.”

Sarah glanced around. The kitchen walls were a dingy yellow. The floor was white-and-green checked. Sarah placed a hand on her hip. She supposed the floors were good enough.

“The first thing this kitchen needs is a gallon of white paint. And we need new aprons. Blue, I think.” She stroked her chin. “
Ja
, a nice blue.”

“I don’t understand. When I spoke of spiffing things up, I meant the front area. Painting the kitchen? Sarah … is that necessary?” Jathan asked.

Kay entered as Jathan said those words, and Sarah could read the same questions on her face as well.

“
Ja
, because these dingy walls give the impression that the food will be dull too. And once we cut down the wall …”

“Cut down the wall?” Jathan raised a hand. “I know I asked for your advice, but —”

“
Ja!
Of course. How else are we going to interact with our customers? Half the draw to the bakery will be our
appeditlich
food. The other half, our smiles.” She turned to Kay, who was standing next to her.

“I — I do not understand,” Kay said.

“Consider this. Imagine you are a customer. If there are two bakeries in town and one’s food is jest as
gut
as the other’s, whose cookies do you think you’ll buy — ones set up in a nice display case … or ones offered to you fresh from the oven by yer friends Sarah and Kay? We want them to feel as if they’re stepping into our kitchen. As if we’re friends.”

“
Ja
, but many of the customers are
Englisch
.” Kay placed a finger over her lips and her brows furrowed.

Sarah nodded. She closed her eyes briefly and thought of her friends back in Montana, of Annie, Jenny, and Edgar, and the customers at the store. She considered telling Kay about these friendships and how she’d found through the years she had more similarities than differences with the
Englisch
, but she knew now was not the time. Letting her — someone new — into their business would be a challenge, and change was hard to face. Maybe she should take things more slowly. One thing at a time.

“Don’t you think our
Englisch
friends could use a kind word and a smile too?” Sarah finally said with a soft smile.

Kay nodded, but she did not smile. Instead she turned to Jathan. “I trust you and I trust yer business sense. I know you’ll
do right by us.” She released a sigh. “I’ll let you take care of yer mother though. If my sister Maggie likes anything, she likes things to stay the same.”

“No need to worry, Aunt. I’ve already talked to
Mem
, and she told me she’s excited about some of Sarah’s new recipes and that she’s excited to add them to the menu.”

“Really now?” Kay’s eyebrows rose as if trying to stretch and reach her forehead. Then she turned to Sarah and forced a smile. “She must be excited about you coming. Excited that Jathan cares for one such as you.”

“I appreciate that.” Sarah walked to the sink and washed her hands, reminding herself to be as gentle as a fawn. “Why don’t we start by you telling me what I can help with.”

Kay pointed back the direction they’d just come. “Why don’t you clean the front area and wait on customers? The chalkboard lists the prices of the items, and I assume you know how to use a cash register.”

“
Ja
, of course,” Sarah answered. Then she glanced at Jathan. Did he think that was the best use of her time? Jathan wasn’t focused on her or their conversation though. Instead his eyes studied the wall between the kitchen and the front area. He stood quietly, most likely estimating how much paint he’d need. What tools would be needed to take down that wall.

“I’ll be back.” He hurried out the front door without a wave.

Sarah forced a smile as she picked up the broom.
This is jest the first day. It’ll take time to find the right rhythm
.

As much as she wanted to get into that kitchen and start baking, Sarah realized she didn’t want to push. She wanted to be a welcome employee rather than a demanding stranger.

S
arah had just finished cleaning up the front area when Jathan returned with his arms full. Kay had already gone home for the day, and Sarah raced forward to help Jathan as he set down the paint, brushes, and drop cloths and then went back to the buggy for more supplies. He returned with a saw, a hammer, nails, and wood.

“I’ve been thinking about yer suggestion, and I like it. The kitchen does need paint, but I don’t think the whole wall between the front area and kitchen needs to come down.” He eyed her, obviously concerned about her response. “Since there’s no electricity in this place or any wiring, and since it’s not a load-bearing wall, it’ll be easy to put in a large window.”

Sarah eyed the wall. “
Ja
, I like that. What a perfect solution!”

The tension in Jathan’s face eased.

“Yer going to do it yerself?” she asked.

“
Ja
, of course. Just because I don’t enjoy woodworking doesn’t mean I don’t know how to do it. I’m going to cut the window, build a box to place it in, and then frame it all in.”

“I have no doubt it’ll be amazing, Jathan. I can see it now.”

His nostrils flared slightly and his eyes blinked closed for a moment. He tried to hide his smile, but didn’t do a very good job. He reminded her of a small boy who’d been called out by his teacher for a job well done.

“I’ll do my best, at least. My
bruder
Yonnie’s heading over soon to help. I figured I should be able to work through the afternoon and evening and have it finished up before you and
Mem
come in to work tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Sarah clasped her hands to her chest. “I’m not sure what I’m more excited about, finally meeting yer
Mem
or seeing this place fixed up. And I’m eager to meet Yonnie too.”

He nodded. “Our bakery will look nice, if I say so myself.”

Sarah noticed he didn’t comment about Yonnie. She also noted tension on Jathan’s face. She remembered Jathan talking about how Yonnie agreed that he needed to work at the factory. What did his oldest brother think now that Jathan was helping with the bakery instead? He must not be too angry. If he was, surely he wouldn’t be coming to help.

Before Sarah had a chance to ask, Jathan turned back to her. “Our customers will like the way we fix things up, but I also think folks will be excited about yer bakery items too.”

“I hope so. I had some ideas for things I wanted to bake today, but it really didn’t work out that way.” Sarah crossed her arms over her chest and then hooked her sore ankle over the other, leaning forward so her arms rested on the top of the display case. She looked down into it. She hadn’t had a chance to bake yet, and she wondered how much freedom she would have when she was given a chance. The display case was filled with bread, muffins, rolls — things she’d known how to make since she was eight. She hadn’t thought about asking Jathan
how much variety his mother and aunt would allow. Her stomach ached at the thought of spending all her days just making the same things over and over.

“
Ja
, I know. Sorry about that,” Jathan said. “My aunt is still getting used to the idea that things will be changing. She and
Mem
have run this little bakery fer fifteen years. I’m afraid they’ve settled into how things are, jest like buggy ruts in a dirt road.”

“Well, a little at a time. Speaking of such, I can paint while you work on the window.”

“I don’t think that’s a
gut
idea.”

“What?” She looked at him. “I’ll do a good job. I promise.”

He neared her and reached over to tilt up her chin. “Oh, Sarah, I have no doubt about that. I jest think you should head home and spend some time with yer aunt. You got in late last night. I stole you away early this morning …”

She wrinkled her nose. “Do I have to?” And then, as she looked into his face, her stomach did a flip.

They’d been alone in the bakery for fifteen minutes at least, but Sarah hadn’t noticed until this moment. Suddenly, she was aware of his shirt sleeves, which he’d rolled up so he could get to work. His arms appeared so strong, and his strength made him even more handsome. Not just his strength and ability to remodel the bakery, but the strength to stand up to his family for what he wanted for his life.

“I won’t make you, but you should.” Even as he said the words, she could tell from his dancing eyes that he didn’t want her to go. She didn’t want to go either, but it would be rude of her not to return home to see her aunt.

“Ja.”
Sarah blew out a long breath. “You are right.” She moved to the door with slow steps.

“Do you need me to give you a ride?” He hurried over and
reached around her to push open the heavy plateglass door for her to pass.

She shook her head, feeling his breath on her cheek. “
ne
. It’s only a mile. I’d love to stretch my legs and maybe I’ll make a friend or two on the way home.”

Jathan eyed her and nodded. “I have no doubt about that, Sarah. I’ve never met anyone who cared fer people as much as you. Somewhere along the way, you’ve learned to be a great friend.”

“Why, thank you.” She patted his chest as she strode out the door, fighting off the urge to linger. Jathan followed her out.

Outside in the parking lot, she turned back, taking an extra moment to gaze at him in front of the bakery, telling herself not to forget this moment when something they’d talked about only a little over a month ago had become real. They’d both had dreams and it amazed her how God had used each other to help fulfill them.

As Sarah resumed her walk down the sidewalk, she remembered something
Dat
always told her: “Many things I have tried to grasp and have lost. That which I have placed in God’s hands I still have.” She needed to trust those words for this situation too. As easily as she and Jathan were coming together, he wasn’t something to grasp and claim. Rather she needed to continue to place him — place their budding relationship — in God’s hands and take each day, each moment, as it came.

Sarah thought of this as she strode down Main Street, strolling among both Amish and
Englisch
. On the outside, she looked like any of the other Amish women who walked down the sidewalk — her dress, apron, and prayer
kapp
matched — but on the inside, she felt as different as if she were walking down the streets of New York City. Tourists walking by seemed surprised when she made eye contact and offered a hello.

Can they tell I’m not from around here?
she wondered.

Angst stirred in her gut where peace had been a moment before. And she realized why. Had she not fifty steps ago given her relationship with Jathan to God? She’d thought about, prayed for, and talked to Patty about her future husband from the time she was thirteen and started taking note of the Amish bachelors coming to town. And if she’d been able to give something as important as that to God, why couldn’t she release the tension she felt about walking among these people? Didn’t God care about her fitting in in these parts too? Would he bring her all this way only for her to feel out of place and rejected? Was it too much to hope that she’d be loved by Jathan
and
this community?

Sarah continued on, and when she walked up the small hill that led to Uncle Ivan and Aunt Lynette’s house, something inside told her to pause and to turn. She did, gazing at the town behind her — the cars and the buggies, the people and the businesses, the trees and the sky that stretched down to the horizon.

Something inside her told her she was home. Tingles danced up her arms, and she wasn’t sure why. Maybe because home meant love, belonging, acceptance … didn’t it?

Sarah approached her aunt’s house. The scent of violets filled the air and, for the first time, Sarah got a good look at the place. The walkway was lined with small purple flowers. They even peeked out of the flower box by the kitchen window. Sarah did not have to guess her aunt’s favorite flower.

The front door was open, and Sarah took another deep breath before hurrying in.

“There she is now,” Aunt Lynette’s voice carried to Sarah. Her aunt hurried from the kitchen and opened her arms wide. “Did you have a
gut
day at the bakery?”

“It was a wonderful start. Jathan’s Aunt Kay was there. She’s very nice, but I didn’t get to bake —”

“Sarah, we have company,” Aunt Lynette interrupted. She placed her finger over her lips and then motioned to the kitchen.

Sarah followed her inside. An older woman was standing in the kitchen. She was just a hair taller than Aunt Lynette, plump with gray hair perfectly arranged under her
kapp
. She was slightly stooped, but Sarah would have recognized Jathan’s mother anywhere. He had her eyes, her smile.

“Mrs. Schrock, correct?” Sarah turned to her aunt. “I did not know you knew Jathan’s
Mem
.”

Aunt Lynette grinned. “We have mutual friends, but we jest met ten minutes ago when there was a knock on the door.”

“Yonnie told me where you were staying.” Mrs. Schrock studied Sarah from head to toe as she spoke. “His wife, Leah, brought me by. She’s dropping Yonnie off at the bakery and then returning for me. I couldn’t go to bed another night without meeting the young woman who has added the bounce to Jathan’s step and the smile to a face that has been solemn fer far too long.”