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Authors: Tricia Goyer

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BOOK: The Memory Jar
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As soon as the meal was over, Jathan rose and turned to Aunt Lynette. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’d love to steal Sarah away. It’s been work, work, work, and I miss time jest sitting with her talking.”

A grin filled Aunt Lynette’s face. She waved them away. “I don’t mind at all. It’s a beautiful night to sit on the front porch.” She winked. “And I’ll do my best to keep my
kinder
from climbing all over ya.”

He sat next to Sarah on the porch swing and gently rocked, yet he could have been sitting alone for as much as she was talking to him. She sat still and silent.

“Sarah, yer awful quiet tonight.”

“Jest thinking, that’s all.”

“Is working at the bakery that bad?”

“Nothing about work is bad at all.”

“The customers then?”

She didn’t answer at first, and he didn’t prod. The silence was broken only by the whinny of his horse, which was tied up by the barn. He had a fair ride yet and his old mare Patience was just reminding him of that. That and the fact that she should have had her oats by now.

“No, most of them are
wunderbaar
.”

“But there was one? Is that what yer saying?” He felt as if he were pulling the words out of her with a fishin’ hook, one word at a time with each crank of the reel’s handle.

“Jest one. Her name was Anna.”

His head shot around at the mention of Anna’s name. His feet stopped their rocking. “Anna?” His hand flew to his face and covered his eyes. He didn’t want to know what Anna had to say. She wasn’t kind and gentle like Sarah.

“From that reaction, I guess you
do
have something to tell me.” There was a hardness to Sarah’s tone.

He lowered his hand. “
Ach
, I should have. I’m not sure why I didn’t. Anna slips my mind easy. She’s a couple years younger than me, and our mothers are
gut
friends. I have heard since I was small that she’s meant to be my wife.”

“And you agreed?”


ne
. Never.”

“That’s not what she said. She said you only put off yer wedding because you were going to Montana.” He lowered his head and a memory stirred.
“Ach, ne.”
Jathan slapped his forehead.

“What?”

“I can see how she would think that. She told me about her
Mem
’s garden and said they’d planned extra rows for celery.
She asked what I thought of that. I told her that it was something we could talk about when I returned. I meant to talk about the possibility of marriage — which there is none — not to set a wedding date. I have no interest in marrying Anna. Do not worry.” He reached over and stroked Sarah’s forearm. “There is only one woman I care fer enough to want to spend a future with, and she’s sitting right next to me. If she’ll forgive me fer my foolishness. Do you, Sarah? Do you forgive me?”

Sarah nodded and bit her lip. Her shoulders relaxed. Sarah glanced at him, and in the moonlight he could read the questions in her eyes.
What about me? Am I someone you’d consider marrying?

Jathan moved his legs so the porch swing started rocking again. He wanted to settle Sarah’s worries. He wanted to confess that he hadn’t asked her to come all this way just for the bakery, yet the words wouldn’t move past the tip of his tongue. To confess how he truly felt — how he really cared — would set things in motion he wasn’t ready for yet. With
Dat
still lying in the hospital bed, well, it just made everything more confusing. He had to think of
Mem
first. He had to provide for his mother — not just today, but possibly for years to come.

As the youngest son, his parents’ home was his — that’s how it worked in these parts. While it would be a blessing to him and his future bride, it also came with responsibility.

Jathan cleared his throat. “
Dat
stirred today. His eyes opened briefly and his mouth opened, as if he was trying to speak. The nurse said it’s a good sign, and that she’s had some stroke patients who regained their ability to talk.”

Sarah’s eyes lowered, but not before he saw disappointment there. He was changing the subject and she knew it. “
Gut
news about yer
Dat
. I would like to meet — to see him — when you think the time is right.”

“Ja.”
Jathan nodded. “I’d like that.”

They sat there a while talking about Sarah’s new recipes and about the customers she was getting to know.

“I’ve noticed more
Englisch
coming in,” she said. “A few bought big orders that they took home to share. Some wanted to know if we could ship.”

“I’ve been thinking about that. I have to make an appointment sometime soon to talk with that man from the train. He wants to find a way to sell some of our baked goods in his coffee shop in New York.”

Sarah’s eyes widened, and she tucked a strand of blonde hair back under her
kapp
. “Really? How would the items get there and still be fresh?”

He smiled at the excitement on her face. “That’s what we need to talk about. He’s especially interested in yer cupcakes.”

Her mouth dropped open, and then she smiled.

“When the time comes, do you think you can make some samples that I can take to him?”

Her arms flew around his neck before he knew what was happening. Then Sarah smiled. “
Ja
, of course!”

CHAPTER
28

S
arah approached the front door of the bakery and pulled out her key. Just when she was about to put the key in the lock, she noticed the door was slightly open and the lanterns inside had already been lit. She had been the first one there for the past two weeks, rising at three o’clock in the morning to be at the bakery by four o’clock so she could start baking. Each day seemed to be filled with more customers, and Sarah struggled to keep up. It was worth it, though, every time she saw the excitement on Jathan’s face.

She hurried to the kitchen, expecting to see Mrs. Schrock or Aunt Kay. Instead it was Jathan who was pulling items out of the pantry and lining them up on the counter.

“Did you know you can make yer own cracked wheat by coarsely grinding wheat berries?” Jathan asked as she entered.

“Good mornin’ to you too.” She laughed. “That makes sense, but I’ve never tried it before.” She pointed to a sack of wheat berries on the counter and what looked to be a grinder.


Ja
, but don’t tell anyone. I don’t want them to think any less of me as an Amish man.” Jathan laughed but Sarah saw something in his eyes. He didn’t see it as a joke.

“Well, I have a secret too.” She cocked an eyebrow. “Do you want to know why my bread is so soft and the crust so nice and brown? Instead of using water, I use milk in my recipe. I scald it first and then let it cool to lukewarm.”


Ach
, that’s the secret?” He stepped forward and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Part of it. The other part is to grease the top with butter while it’s still warm.”

“No wonder I can’t get enough of yer bread.” He pulled one of yesterday’s loaves from the cooling rack and split it in half with his large hands.

“Jathan!” Laughter spilled from her lips.

With a huge smile, he picked up a butter knife and buttered half the loaf, sitting down to eat it.

Sarah shook her head and then picked up the list of items Mrs. Schrock had left her to bake today. “Thirteen dozen muffins, ten cakes, and twenty-five pie crusts,” she read out loud. Sarah wrinkled her nose.

Jathan glanced over at her. “Everything all right?” He looked at her list.


Ach
, it’s jest that I forgot that when I work in someone else’s bakery I need to follow their directions. I woke up with an idea for chocolate-cream-pie cupcakes and thought about experimenting. I’m not complaining, but I’ll have to wait.”

“Maybe I could help?”

She glanced up. “
Ja
, of course. Why don’t you make the pie crusts?”

“I’m not joking. If I gather ingredients and measure, it’ll go faster.”

“Should I trust you?” She eyed him playfully. “One wrong measure —”

“It was my favorite thing as a child, remember?”

“Well, you’ve mentioned that, but how did that happen?”

“Oh, it’s a
gut
story — one I can’t believe I haven’t told you.”

She measured the flour into a large mixing bowl. “I’m all ears now. I can mix muffin batter and listen too.”

“Well, I’m not sure if I can measure and talk at the same time.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against a counter. “So I’ll start helping after I tell my story. Remember how I told you I followed my
brieder
everywhere and climbed every tree I could after they did? Well, there was one tree I shouldn’t have climbed. It was on the side of the road on our way to school. It was a large old maple. Yonnie gave me a boost so I could reach the branches, and then they left me up there.” He shook his head. “They thought it was funny that I’d be late for school.”

“How did you get down?”

“The wrong way, that’s fer sure. I tried to swing down from the lowest branch — which was still a long way up. I slipped and broke my leg something horrible.”

Sarah gasped. “Did someone come by?” She set down the measuring cup on the counter, forgetting if she’d measured two cups of flour or three.

“A neighbor, yeah, but I was already in shock. They didn’t know fer a time if I would make it.”

“I bet Yonnie felt horrible.”

“All of my
brieder
did. But they never confessed to
Mem
what really happened, and I never told. I jest told
Mem
I was trailing behind and decided to climb the tree myself.”

“And yer leg?”

“It took months and months to heal. That’s when I spent time with
Mem
. I was too weak to go to school, so I’d come to the bakery with her.” He pointed to the corner. “They set up a makeshift bed over there. I’d watch everything
Mem
was
doing. When I was able to get around some, I started to help. I enjoyed it …”

He stopped then, but she could tell it wasn’t the end of the story. She thought about asking more, but Mrs. Schrock and Aunt Kay arrived. Jathan’s mother seemed especially pleased to see Jathan there with Sarah, working side by side, but there was something in Aunt Kay’s eyes that she didn’t understand. Worry maybe?

The two women got to work putting items in the display case while Sarah continued baking.

Sarah finished rolling out the crusts, setting them in the pie pans. With quickened motions, she crimped the edges and then blew out a low whistle. “Pray these don’t puff while baking. I’d hate to start over.”

“Well, yer not putting them in the oven like that, are you?”


Ja
… why wouldn’t I?”

“When baking an empty pie crust, put a cup of raw rice or dry beans into the bottom of the crust and then bake. They’ll weigh down the bottom of the crust so it doesn’t puff. In fact …” Jathan scanned the shelves and then found a small coffee can. He opened it and brought it to her. Sarah peeked in. Sure enough, it was filled with rice.

“My
Mem
has another can like this at home. You can use the same rice or beans over and over in yer crusts.”

“Really? But why didn’t she say anything over the last few weeks? She’s seen me making pie crusts on more than one occasion. She’s seen me ruin a few too.”


Ja
, well, I think I know why.
Mem
wants to keep you happy. She wants you to stay here … because you make me happy.” He opened his arms and Sarah stepped into his embrace.

“I’m thankful for that, Jathan. I really am. Because I can’t
think of anything better than this. Than being here with you. You know me. In a strange way, you know me.”

Twenty-two-year-old Sarah stood at her best friend’s grave. Soft white clouds drifted across the wide blue sky. The mountains were greener than she’d ever seen them. The air more crisp. Birdsong carried from the trees that surrounded the small graveyard
.

She stared at the pile of dirt not wanting to believe Patty’s body was there
.

Two days ago they’d held the funeral and viewing. She’d seen Patty’s lifeless form, but she hadn’t wanted to accept it. But today she’d woken up knowing she couldn’t go over to Patty’s and ask her to go on a walk. There would be no chats on the porch. There would be no Patty
.

Sarah sank to the ground, but no tears came. The tears had been ever present since that moment at the lake. Now there were none
.

The hardest thing was, no one knew Sarah as Patty had. Would anyone ever know her like that again? Really know her?

CHAPTER
29

I
t was Sarah’s turn to visit Jathan’s home, and what started out as a simple dinner soon turned into a full family dinner, or so she’d been told.

She’d seen the house from the outside when she’d ridden to the church service just last Sunday. The service had been at the house of one of the Schrocks’ neighbors, and she’d been impressed as she’d ridden by. It was a large, white house with a beautiful front porch and garden area. A red barn filled the horizon, and next to that was a finely constructed shop. But today was different. Today she’d be going inside.

With excitement bubbling in her chest, Sarah entered the Schrock house. The walls were white, plain. White curtains hung from the window. But that didn’t mean it was without ornamentation. On the kitchen wall was a utensil hook, and the brass ladles glimmered like a fine sculpture. Colorful towels had been laid out on the kitchen counter, embroidered in lovely patterns of birds and flowers and butterflies.

Mrs. Schrock hustled around the kitchen with two women Sarah soon learned were two of Jathan’s sisters-in-law.

Sarah approached Mrs. Schrock, placing a hand on her shoulder. “How can I help?”

“You can help by getting Jathan out of my hair. I’m mixing up some cornbread, and if he sticks around, he’s gonna put his nose where it doesn’t belong.”

Sarah chuckled. “Well, I would like to see the workshop …”


Ja!
What a fine idea! Now shoo, the two of you.” Mrs. Schrock waved them away with her hands.

BOOK: The Memory Jar
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