The Nanny's New Family (Caring Canines) (15 page)

Earlier Ian noticed that Annie had left him a plate with a sandwich and fruit salad. He went into the kitchen, took the food from the refrigerator, sat at his large table and ate. The silence taunted him. As he ate his chicken salad on rye, he stared at the schedule that Annie had put up to help the family keep activities straight. Something that simple had been an enormous aid for him and even the children. When he glimpsed the dogs’ water and food bowls, he grinned at the difference Rex and Daisy had made in everyone’s life, but especially Jeremy’s. Ian had his eldest son back, and he had Annie to thank for that, too.

The sound of the utility room door opening and then footsteps pounding proclaimed his family had returned. Annie was back. For a second his heartbeat raced, then he remembered she would be leaving soon. He ate the last bite and headed for the sink as they all poured into the kitchen.

The first thing Joshua said was “Where’s Daisy?”

“Out in the backyard.” Ian gestured in that direction. Annie hadn’t come in.

“Annie went to her apartment and said she’d be back in a few minutes. Dad, next time we need to take Daisy, too,” Jade said while Joshua and Jasmine ran out the back door.

“Someone will have to keep up with her on a leash the whole time.”

“We can take turns.” Jade walked through the kitchen to the hallway.

“How did it go with you and Rex?” Ian asked Jeremy, who was feeding his dog.

“I had a seizure, but I’m okay now. It wasn’t long, and Rex knew about it before it happened.” Jeremy straightened from filling Rex’s bowl with dry dog food.

“How do you know Rex knew about it?”

“He went and got Annie. She had me sit on the grass. Good thing because I was swinging on the monkey bars.” Jeremy talked about the incident as though it was nothing out of the ordinary.

“How long ago?”

His son shrugged. “Probably two hours.”

“How did the other kids at the park react?”

“Fine. A couple wanted to know about Rex, and I told them what he did. They were amazed.”

And so was he. Ian knew some service dogs noticed a seizure coming on. In a short time Rex and Jeremy had become close. They did everything together, and Jeremy loved having his dog tag along.

Within minutes Rex wolfed down his food, and he followed Jeremy to the den. Ian thought back to when Jeremy had fought him about having a service dog. A lot had changed.

And the woman coming into the kitchen had been instrumental in it.

“How did the interviews go?” Annie asked after looking around for any children.

“They all showed up.”

“Wasn’t Mrs. Addison great? The kids at church love her. She teaches a third-and fourth-grade Sunday-school class.”

“She was nice.”

“That’s all? Did you hire her?”

“No, I didn’t hire anyone today.”

“But you’re going to call her back and ask her, aren’t you?”

Ian plowed his fingers through his hair. He hadn’t thought much about it until Annie had brought it up. If he could avoid...

“Ian?” Annie stepped a few feet closer.

Too near
. “I’m not going to hire any of the women tonight.”

“What was wrong with Mrs. Addison?”

“Too old.”

“First Mary was too young, and now Mrs. Addison is too old. I can’t believe it. Either would be a great nanny.” She opened her mouth to say more, then closed it.

“My kids are active. I know there are days you get tired. I certainly do. Keeping up with them requires an experienced hand.”

“Between what ages?”

“Twenty-five and forty.”

The back door opened, and Jasmine and Joshua came inside with Daisy. Annie glared at Ian while Jasmine fed the dog.

Joshua remained. “Daisy was so happy to see me.” Then, as if he sensed the tension in the kitchen, he looked between Ian and Annie. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing you need to worry about, son. We’ll be in my office. Jeremy is in the den.” Ian walked into the hallway, glancing back to make sure Annie was coming, too.

When he reached his office, he leaned against his desk, too agitated to sit. He clasped its edge and waited for Annie’s response.

After shutting the door, she pivoted. “What are you doing? You’ve turned down two perfectly good nannies. Are you doing this to keep me here?”

Anger surged through him. Ian gritted his teeth and waited to calm down before he answered. “I’m looking out for my children’s best interests. What are you afraid of, Annie? Loving a man?”

“Why do you want to change me?”

“Why are you blaming yourself for your mother’s death when no one else does?”

She gasped, her eyes wide. “That’s low. That isn’t something I share with others.”

“But you did with me. Why?”

She started to say something but shook her head.

“Annie, it’s because you feel something for me beyond employer/employee and even friendship.”

“But you don’t think I’m good enough for you the way I am.”

Ian shoved off the desk and closed the space between them. “That is not why I contacted my friend. If you choose not to have the surgery, that’s your decision, and I’ll respect it.”

“You say that, but when I told you I didn’t want it, you went to your friend without my knowledge. So obviously my appearance bothers you more than you’ll admit, maybe even to yourself. You’re a plastic surgeon—you want people to be as beautiful as possible.”

For a moment her words halted him. His mind went blank. Was she right? Not a chance. “Annie, I don’t see your scars. I see you. I started caring before I even knew about your scars.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re lying to yourself, Ian. And I think my staying would only complicate the situation. Believe me, I don’t want to leave your children. They mean a lot to me.”

“Obviously not enough to stay. This will devastate them.”
And me
.

“That’s why I wanted someone like Mary or Mrs. Addison to take my place.”

“No one can do that. I think you’re scared. Acknowledging your feelings for me means you can’t move on in a few years like you’ve been doing. You’ve always been able to put a certain distance between you and the family. You’re afraid to give love a chance.”

“That isn’t true.” Annie stiffened, her fists curling and uncurling at her side. “Ian, I’m giving you my two weeks’ notice.”

Kneading his neck, Ian tried to quash the hurt and pain that filled every part of him. “I think it’s best, then, for my children not to come to depend on you any more than they already do. You can leave right away, if that suits you.”

Looking stunned, Annie whirled around and threw open the door as she stormed from the office.

Ian started after her but stopped in his tracks when Jasmine and Jade blocked the entrance, horror on their faces. Behind them were Jeremy and Joshua.
They must have heard everything we said
.

* * *

Somehow Annie held back the tears as she drove to the church. She had stopped at Amanda’s house, but no one had answered. She needed a refuge in which to think and decide what to do next. She needed the Lord to comfort her, guide her.

Annie noticed some cars in the parking lot, but she prayed no one was in the sanctuary. When she entered the church, she found a pew in front but off to the side, shrouded in shadows.

For a long moment she sat silently. Then emotions flooded her, and she quietly cried. She wasn’t yet ready to say goodbye to the children—she wanted to make the transition to a new nanny as easy as possible—but Ian had told her to leave
now
.

If that suits you
.

Those words made her pause. Ian had tried to keep her. She’d been the one who’d insisted on going. Tension prickled from her neck down her spine. When she massaged her tight muscles, she felt the rough texture of her scars.

Mom, I miss you so much. I could use your words of wisdom right now
.
Help me
.

“Annie, are you all right? I saw you come into the foyer and waved.”

She turned tear-filled eyes on Emma, who stood a few feet from her.

* * *

Ian gathered the children in the den on the couch and sat across from them.

“Why is Annie leaving us?” Jasmine asked, then burst into sobs.

Jade held her twin and patted her back. “I thought Annie loved being here. What did we do wrong?”

“It’s me. I drove her away with my seizure today. I didn’t mean to have it at the park,” Jeremy said sadly.

Joshua remained quiet, staring at his lap, then he looked up. “I’ll do everything Annie wants if she’ll stay.”

“Who are Mary and Mrs. Addison?” Jade asked.

“Two women I interviewed to take Annie’s place.”

“How could you?” Jasmine shot to her feet and ran from the room.

Jeremy moved to the floor in front of the couch and held Rex. Joshua joined him.

“Fix this, Dad,” Jade said fiercely.

Ian’s desire to fix the family was what had started this. That and making the mistake of falling in love with Annie. “I wish I could.”

“There’s no choice. You have to.”

How do I make someone fall in love with me when she’s decided she’s not worthy of love?

* * *

“May I sit with you?” Emma asked, and took a seat next to Annie before she could answer. “I feel as though we’ve gotten to know each other lately with Rex. I hate to see someone in pain. I felt as though I needed to come in here and see you. What’s wrong?”

For a long moment Annie couldn’t even find the words. She’d have to tell Emma everything, even about the fire. When Annie began explaining about her scars, it flowed from her like a flood.

“So what I’m hearing is that you blame yourself for your mother’s death.”

“I
was
at fault.”

“Okay, let’s say what you did led to your mom dying.”

Her throat full of unshed tears, Annie nodded.

“You think you need to spend the rest of your life paying for that mistake?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Who said that? Certainly not the Lord.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw how you were with the McGregor children. You have a gift and a lot of love inside you. God sent you there when they needed you most.”

“You’ve been talking to Amanda.”

“Yes, I wanted some background so I could help Jeremy and Rex bond.”

Annie folded her hands together and rubbed the back of one.

“You’ve spent fourteen years mourning your mother’s death and keeping yourself apart from others emotionally. I don’t believe God asked you to do that. I think you decided you had to without asking Him.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I did the same thing. When my first husband died, I blamed myself. I was the reason he was on the ladder he fell from. My husband now, Jake, helped me to see the error of my thinking. It’s okay to forgive yourself, Annie. God did a long time ago. That’s the beauty with Him. All we have to do is ask Him from our hearts.”

It sounds so easy
.
But I know it isn’t.

“Do you have feelings for Ian?”

“Yes. I haven’t let myself feel anything for a long time. I don’t...”

“Embrace them. They are a gift from the Lord. He wants you to be happy.”

Was that possible?

* * *

When Annie returned to Ian’s house, it was ablaze with lights, a beacon in the dark. The kids were usually in bed by now. Had Jeremy had a bad seizure? She hurried through the breezeway and into the utility room and kitchen. Her heartbeat pounded a mad staccato against her rib cage. She charged into the hallway, paused to check the den. Empty.

At Ian’s office she peeked in and saw him sitting in his chair, staring at his desktop. The forlorn expression on his face rent her heart into pieces.

“Is something wrong? Jeremy? One of the other children?”

Ian peered up at her, and he erased the look from his face. “I didn’t hear you come in. The kids are okay. I need to go up and tell them good-night, but I don’t know how much sleep they’ll get.”

“They overheard us?”

He nodded.

“I’m sorry. I wish they hadn’t.”

“Oh, well, they needed to know, and I would have stewed over how to tell them.” Ian sat forward, resting his elbows on the tan blotter. “Have you decided to leave now?”

Annie heard defeat in his voice. Without saying a word, she strode to him and leaned against the desk next to him. He swiveled his chair to look at her.

“I’ve decided to leave—never.”

He blinked.

“How can I leave the man I’ve fallen in love with? Especially when he told me he loved me?”

For a few seconds Ian’s face was blank, and then a grin broke through. “You aren’t joking, are you?”

“Never about something this important. Ian, you’ve been right all along. I didn’t think I had a right to be happy. I was afraid of feeling anything good. But I love you and the children. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Ian jumped to his feet and drew her into an embrace. “You’re sure?”

“I went to my church, talked with Emma and came away feeling like a new woman. God forgave me long ago. I just had to forgive myself. If I didn’t, I would be hurting a lot of people I care about—including you, your family and mine.”

Ian put his hand on her cheek. “Annie, I don’t care what you decide about the surgery.”

“I believe you.”

Ian bent his head toward her and kissed the scars on her neck and cheek, then trailed more to her mouth. When he stopped he said, “This has been the worst and best day of my life. I won’t let you forget how much you mean to me, Annie.”

“Let’s go tell the children. I have to make everything right with them.”

Ian looked over Annie’s shoulder and laughed. “I don’t think you have to.”

All four children along with two dogs poured into the room and surrounded her and Ian with laughter and hugs.
I’ve finally found what I always wanted. Thank You, God
.

Epilogue

“S
hh. They’re here. Hide.”

Coming down the hall, Annie heard Jeremy’s words a few seconds before she and Ian entered the den. “I guess my sister hasn’t brought them home yet,” she said, playing along with the kids wanting to surprise them by hiding.

Ian wrapped his arms around Annie. “Hmm. That gives us more alone time. What do you think we should do?” He kissed her loudly on the mouth.

“Yuck,” Jeremy said while the other children, along with Amanda, jumped up and said, “Surprise!”

Jeremy had to help Annie’s sister stand up. She was eight months pregnant and big. As Amanda waddled toward them, the children swarmed Ian and Annie, all wanting to know about the honeymoon. Ian actually blushed, then told them about the places they’d visited in Key West.

Amanda hugged Annie then whispered in her ear, “You look great. I see married life agrees with you.”

Annie pulled back, chuckling. “How were the kids?”

“Perfect, except...”

Everyone looked at Amanda.

“Except what?” Ian asked.

“They threw me a baby shower.”

Annie settled her hands on her waist. “You did that without me?” She tried to look angry.

“It was a trial run,” Jasmine said. “We’re gonna do another one next week with everyone, including you.”

“That is if the baby doesn’t come early.” Amanda laid her hand over her stomach.

“He’d better not. I have my last laser treatment next week in Dallas. I can’t miss the baby’s birth.” Annie snuggled into the crook of Ian’s arm, so glad she’d finally done something about her scars. They were still there, but less obvious, and her prosthetic ear was so realistic looking. But the best part was that Ian had left the decision to her, emphasizing that he thought she was beautiful as she was. Annie knew, without a doubt, he loved her no matter what.

Amanda cleared her throat. “Kids, let’s go in the kitchen and get dinner ready.”

“But—” Joshua sputtered to a stop because Jade had put her hand over his mouth.

“We’re gonna help Amanda. All of us, Joshua.” Jade tugged on her brother’s arm, pulling him toward the hallway.

After the children left with Amanda, Ian went to the den doorway, looked up and down the hallway then shut the door. “That’s just in case they decide to eavesdrop again.”

Annie nestled within his embrace. “Our kids don’t eavesdrop. They told me they were just keeping themselves informed about what was going on in the family.”
My new family
.

Ian kissed the tip of her nose, then settled his mouth over hers, pressing her against him. When he nibbled her ear, she shivered.

“I love you, Mrs. McGregor.”

Annie leaned back slightly and looked up at him, running her fingers through his hair. “I might have been a little slow to grasp that, but I know now. And I love you.” She pulled his head down so she could kiss him again.

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt from
THE DOCTOR’S PERFECT MATCH
by Arlene James.