The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (6 page)

  A sheet of paper with written affirmations.

  A definitive body movement such as finger-snapping.

When you’re in state, in the zone, you feel confident. You feel attractive. You feel like the most powerful person in the room. This deep emotional conviction will radiate, and other people will feel your power. The men will follow your lead. The women will become attracted to you.

These two exercises should put you on the path toward mastering your beliefs and your state. When you couple them with the actual approaching you will be doing after you learn the seduction techniques in the latter part of the book, you will begin to experience rapid and dramatic changes.

High-status men have different body language from that of the typical male. Every man, whether alpha or beta, gives off clear nonverbal indicators to women of their rank and their level of attractiveness. Let’s first look at how most guys carry themselves, and then we’ll focus on how to display the body language of a powerful male in order to increase attraction and interest from women.

Most guys fidget. They’re nervous, and it shows. Their weight shifts from leg to leg. When they’re out at a bar, they hold their drinks up close to their chest and frequently take sips. They don’t take up much physical space, literally.

And that’s when they’re by themselves. When they talk to women and other men, it gets worse: they’re afraid to touch, gesture, or show much expression—on top of the nervous movements described above.

All of these are nonverbal signs of low status.

In order to stand out from 99 percent of guys out there and establish yourself as a confident and powerful man, follow these guidelines:

  
Legs
. Stand with your feet slightly wider apart than is natural. It will feel strange at first, but you’ll also feel completely rooted, like a tree. This will stop you from changing position or shifting your weight.

  
Arms
. Most people I train have a problem with fidgeting; they move their hands around, play with their cuffs or watch, touch their face, put their hands in their pockets and out again, and just can’t stay still. This is a sign of insecurity, and women will pick up on it immediately. Here’s a trick to get over this: put your thumb against your index and middle fingers and let your hands fall to your sides. This removes the natural tendency for the fingers to find something to do. You can stay in this position comfortably for hours without moving.

  
Eyes
. Don’t look down! It conveys weakness. Be confident; hold eye contact with people. But remember, it isn’t a staring match; soft, natural eye contact is what you need. If you need some time to get confident holding eye contact and still feel the need to look away, break eye contact to the side rather than down.

  
Head
. Move your head slowly—that conveys high status. Quick head movements make you look nervous.

  
Space
. Take up lots of space.
Own
the room! When sitting, spread yourself out. When standing, have a wide, confident stance or use gestures. When dancing, move around the dance floor a lot and use big arm movements (though be careful not to knock people over). In the past, I always used to get barged out of the way and my toes trodden on; since I started using alpha body language, people give me more space and this never happens. You’ll know you’re doing things right when the same happens to you.

I cannot overstate the importance of adopting the correct body language. Because so many guys get it wrong, when you fix yours you’ll stand out from the pack in a major way and women will notice.

Assignment #1

Practice the alpha stance in your home to see how it looks in the mirror. Next time you’re in a bar, observe other people’s body language based on the guidelines above. See who has good and bad body language. Be very aware of your own and try to switch into alpha body language as often and as fast as possible.

At first it might be a little difficult to alter the way you carry yourself. That’s perfectly okay. Breaking old habits is a process of first becoming aware of what you’re doing wrong; then noticing when you’re doing it, stopping it, and eventually replacing this behavior.

One of the major benefits of our live PUA Training programs is that we can observe students’ nonverbal communication and can instantly identify and correct things that most people just wouldn’t pick up—things like nervous tics, awkward mannerisms—all things that are unattractive. Trust me, we’ve all had them. I used to laugh nervously and touch my face. It took my brutally honest cousin (who was also studying pickup techniques) to point this out.

Alpha males make decisions, both for themselves and for the groups that they lead. Whether it’s something as trivial as where the group should eat dinner or something as serious as determining whether one group member needs to be ostracized, the alpha male is the one who makes the decisions.

Taking ownership of decisions is something that is not naturally comfortable for most people. There is in many cases a high risk of failure and negative ramifications. Because of this, when you can make decisions for a group, you are in effect “stepping up.”

You are doing the tough job, and because of this people will respect you. The more people respect you, the more power and authority you will be granted. And the more power you have, the more you can influence and lead.

There is a little loophole in human psychology: whoever is most certain wins. In other words, when multiple people have multiple ideas or viewpoints, the person who believes most certainly that he or she is correct will generally win out and influence others. Those who have relatively little in the way of an opinion will look to the person who is most certain to make decisions for them.