The Night Off (22 page)

“
Fuck
,” Emily rasped, then burst into loud, unashamed sobs.

Two things happened at once—Nat let go of her wrists to gather her into a loving embrace, and the expanding pressure in her chest dissolved as the weeks of pent-up tension escaped. Boneless, Emily clung weakly to her shoulders as Nat carefully maneuvered her onto her back. Then Nat climbed on top of her and peppered soft kisses across her tear-stained cheeks. “I’m very proud of you,” Nat whispered, pulling back to stare into her eyes. “You did so well.”

Emily’s heart felt as though it might burst at the sight of Nat’s gorgeous face filled with such tender reverence. She was overwhelmed with a myriad of sensations—the roughness of the comforter against her bruised buttocks, the softness of Nat’s T-shirt pressed into her bare breasts, the absolute safety of being in Nat’s arms—but what stood out above everything else was her absolute certainty that, in this moment, she was exactly where she was supposed to be. The thought chased away her fears, leaving behind one immutable truth: she was falling in love with a woman who might actually love her back.

“Nat.” Emily could barely talk through her tears. “I—”

Nat silenced her by entering her slick, open pussy with a cautious thrust. Emily tipped her head back and moaned hoarsely at the intrusion, almost grateful not to have to finish her thought. She didn’t trust herself not to spill her heart completely.

Suddenly Emily’s bedroom door burst open, crashing against the wall so hard they both jumped in surprise. Colleen stepped into the room, her eyes fierce and dark, with their largest kitchen knife gripped in her white-knuckled fist. Her free hand flew to her mouth as she took in the sight of the two of them on the bed. The shock on her face faded fast, replaced by swift and furious anger.

“Get the fuck away from her!” Screaming, Colleen brandished the knife like she was ready to use it. “Get your filthy fucking hands off my sister.”

Emily winced as Nat withdrew her fingers quickly, then she pushed Nat off to the side, putting her body between her sister and her lover. She wrestled with the comforter in a clumsy attempt to hide her nudity, then gave up when she became hopelessly tangled. It wasn’t as though she had any modesty left to preserve, anyway. “Colleen, for God’s sake, put down the knife. Everything’s okay.”

“Like hell it’s okay!” Steely-eyed, Colleen darted her gaze between Nat and Emily like she was just waiting for the provocation to strike. “I heard him hit you. You were crying.” She took a step closer, chest heaving. “You’re
still
crying.”

Emily rubbed the heels of her hands over her face, wiping away her tears. She could only imagine how this must seem. Deciding to address the most obvious misconception first, Emily said, “This is my friend, Nat.
She
wasn’t doing anything I didn’t want her to, I promise. Regardless of what it sounded like.”

Nat sat, holding up her hands in supplication. Her skin had gone ashen. “I swear I would never hurt Emily. I care about your sister very much.”

Colleen’s face twisted into a snarl. “Yeah, obviously.”

When it became clear that Colleen wasn’t planning to lower her guard, Emily covered her breasts with her arm and bent to fish her teddy off the floor. “Seriously, Colleen, please calm down and give me the knife. We’ve already established that I wasn’t being attacked.”

Colleen gasped as Emily stood and half-turned to pull the teddy down over her breasts. “What the fuck did you
do
to her?”

Emily knew what Colleen was talking about even before she saw her sister’s horrified gaze riveted to her ass. Humiliated, Emily tugged on the hem of her teddy to try and cover the red marks Nat had left on her skin. “That’s none of your business. All you need to know is that it was consensual.”

“
That
was consensual?” Colleen lowered the knife, curling her lips in disgust. She searched Emily’s face, then took an unsteady step backward. “That’s fucking sick.” Glaring at Nat with pure murderous rage, she spat her words through her teeth. “You get off on hitting women? Is that it? Well, I don’t know how the hell you talked Emily into going along with your fucking
perversion
, but you should be ashamed of yourself. You pathetic, fucking
dyke
.”

“That’s
enough
!” Emily stalked over to Colleen and carefully pried the knife from her fist. She opened her top dresser drawer and tossed the knife inside, then slammed the drawer shut. “Colleen, I’m really sorry you’re seeing me like this.
Really
goddamn sorry. But you’re talking to a woman I care about, a lot, and you’re being completely unfair. Nat didn’t talk me into anything. Let’s just leave it at that.” Blushing at the disbelief on Colleen’s face, Emily glanced over her shoulder and met Nat’s guilty gaze. “Please.”

“Yeah, fine.” Colleen tightened her hands into fists at her sides. “I come home and hear what
sounds
like my big sister being raped, but we’ll just leave it at the fact that she’s actually just a disgusting, fucking pervert.”

“Hey.” Nat finally stood, walking to Emily’s side to rest a hand on her lower back. “This is an incredibly embarrassing and uncomfortable situation—for
all
of us—but being nasty won’t make it better. So show your sister a little respect. She’s a grown woman who has nothing to be ashamed about.”

“Respect.” Rolling her eyes, Colleen extended her middle finger and shot Nat the bird. “Yeah, whatever. Have fun being beaten and fucked, Em. I’m going to bed.”

For the first time since Colleen came barreling into the room, Emily realized that something must be wrong. “Wait, why are you home? You’re supposed to be at campus for orientation. What happened?”

Colleen’s nostrils flared. “Don’t try to turn this around on me. I’m home, you got caught, deal with it. I know I told you to get laid, but I didn’t expect you to go out and become a goddamn
whore
.”

Nat flinched, but Emily simply pointed at her bedroom door. “Go to your room. We’ll talk about this later when you’re not so emotional.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Colleen ran a hand through her hair, wild-eyed and crackling with anger. “I’ve got nothing to say to you. You
disgust
me.”

Until that moment, Emily hadn’t had the presence of mind to feel anything beyond abject embarrassment. The venomous words sliced into her heart anew, unleashing agony like she’d never felt before. The one thing she’d always been able to count on was that her little sister looked up to her. Losing Colleen’s respect was one of the worst things she could imagine.

Gathering her willpower, Emily kept her voice steady. “I’m sorry you’re upset. I still say we both need some time to cool down.”

With an angry grunt, Colleen spun on her heels and stomped out of the room. Seconds later, the walls shook with the force of her slamming bedroom door. Numb, Emily walked to her own bedroom door and closed it with a quiet
click
.

Nat came up behind her and touched her waist. “I’m so sorry.
So
sorry.”

Emily shook her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine, I…” She tried to decide where exactly she’d gone wrong. “I shouldn’t have invited you over here.”

Nat inhaled shakily, sending a shard of pain into Emily’s chest. “I apologize for getting involved in the discussion. I know it wasn’t any of my business, and I realize this was pretty heavy for an eighteen-year-old, but I just…didn’t like her talking to you that way.”

Trembling, Emily turned and wrapped her arms around Nat’s waist. She buried her face in Nat’s shoulder, unsure what to do next but desperately needing comfort. Gentle hands stroked circles over her back, calming her instantly. “I’m sorry about what she said to you.”

Nat shook her head. “She was upset. I understand.”

“I’m mortified.” Emily fiddled with the hem of her teddy with one hand, trying to cover herself without leaving Nat’s embrace. “I can’t believe she heard us. I can’t believe she
saw
us.”

“I can’t believe she thought I was a man.” Pulling back with a teasing smile, Nat gestured at herself. “What about
this
isn’t feminine?”

That pulled a giggle out of Emily, almost against her will, but she sobered quickly. Things were fucked up, badly, and she had no idea how to fix them. Stepping away from Nat, she walked to her dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and a cotton camisole. “Seriously, I could have lived the rest of my life without Colleen knowing that I like being spanked.”

“Obviously it’s not what you would want to share with your sister, but I hope you know it really isn’t anything to be ashamed about.” Still fully dressed, Nat had nothing to do except stand and stare. She seemed uncharacteristically timid, as though she was afraid of saying the wrong thing. “Believe me, I’ve seen a lot of kinks. Ours isn’t even close to truly deviant.”

Since meeting Nat, she hadn’t questioned her desires even once. She’d fantasized about domination and submission, bondage, spanking, and all manner of kinky sex for years now, but until their appointment, her thoughts had always made her a little embarrassed. Having a lover who got off on giving her exactly what she wanted had changed all that. Unfortunately, Colleen’s revulsion threatened to conjure up all her old insecurities, and then some.

Emily turned, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry, but you can’t stay.” She blinked—that had come out much harsher than she’d intended. “I mean…we can’t exactly go back to what we were doing, and—”

“I understand.” Nat gave her a genuinely sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry we can’t finish, of course, but I agree that it’s best if I go.” She started to take a step forward, then stopped. Uncertainty poured off her tense frame, and she looked so nervous that Emily’s heart ached. “I’m glad we got to spend a little time together, though. I hope…I hope we can see each other again soon. Even if we just meet for lunch some day. Or a cup of coffee.”

Emily’s chest tightened at the restraint in Nat’s posture and tone. Nat was clearly terrified to ask her for anything, which broke her heart and flooded her with relief at the same time. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay.” Nat took another step closer and opened her arms with a tentative smile. “Hang in there, sweetheart. Even if she’s a little grossed out, Colleen will get over this. I promise.”

Emily managed a humorless chuckle as she stepped into Nat’s embrace. “I hope so. I’d hate to think that I managed to get her to eighteen relatively intact, only to ruin her forever because I couldn’t wait another couple of months to get laid.”

Nat stiffened slightly, then released her with a kiss on the forehead. “I’m here if you need me. To talk, or whatever. All right?”

Aching at the distance growing between them, Emily caught Nat’s hand before she could leave. “Wait.”

Nat laced their fingers together, nervously. “Do you want me to stay?”

Emily shook her head. “Before Colleen walked in…what we did…”

Throat moving, Nat whispered, “Yeah?”

“It was everything I wanted. You were perfect.”

Nat sagged with obvious relief. “I just wish I’d had the chance to give you more pleasure with that pain.”

Emily’s chest tightened. She had no idea when they would be together again. Right now she wasn’t thinking past dealing with the fallout from tonight. She needed to see how Colleen recovered from interrupting them before she even thought about making another date with Nat. Heart rending, she said, “Next time.”

Nat’s smile faltered slightly at the obvious catch in Emily’s voice. “Next time.” She kissed Emily’s hand, then walked to the door. “Sleep well, darling.”

“You too.” Emily put her hand over her eyes as soon as Nat left the room, holding her breath as she listened for the sound of the front door closing. When it came, she bit her lip to hold back the tears that threatened to escape at the sense of loss that swept over her. In the span of ten minutes, she’d gone from experiencing the most profound connection imaginable with another human being to feeling completely alone and ashamed. And she had no idea what to do next.

She decided to start with clearing away their supper. There was a reason compulsive cleaning was her go-to coping mechanism. Her parents had kept a filthy house when she and Colleen were children, and early on she’d figured out that tidying up not only made her feel better, but also gave her the illusion of being in control of her life. With that in mind, Emily washed their dishes and put away the leftover soup, then scrubbed every inch of the kitchen until each surface gleamed. When she finished, she leaned against the fridge and exhaled.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Colleen, wondering how she was feeling. Had her anger dissipated at all? Even knowing the smart thing would be to give Colleen more time, she decided to go knock on her bedroom door. She needed to know why Colleen wasn’t where she was supposed to be, whether or not she wanted to talk about what she’d seen. No matter what Colleen thought about her right now, Emily was still responsible for her wellbeing.

Colleen didn’t answer her first knock. Or the second. Refusing to believe that she was actually sleeping, Emily tried a third time. “Colleen? I want to talk to you.”

“Go away.”

Ignoring the grumpy retort, Emily opened the bedroom door. Colleen sat on the floor with her back against the bed, face streaked with tears. She wiped at them angrily as their eyes met. “Get the fuck out of my room.”

“Why are you home, Col? You’re supposed to be at orientation. You texted me as much.”

Colleen glared at her. “The orientation session doesn’t start until nine o’clock tomorrow morning. I’ll get up early and drive myself there.”

“But you were supposed to stay overnight in the dorm.”

“
You
were supposed to be home alone watching
The Golden Girls
.” The disillusionment on Colleen’s face made her feel two inches tall. “Guess it’s a night of shattered expectations.”

“Tell me why you aren’t where you said you would be.
Now
.” Even as strong-willed as Colleen could be, they’d never had a standoff of this magnitude. Emily’s legs trembled as adrenaline coursed through her already over-stimulated body. “I’m not messing around, Colleen. Just tell me so I don’t think the worst.”