The No Cry Discipline Solution (61 page)

Sleep Issues—Naps

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indicator. When in doubt try for a nap, since even if your child

does not sleep the quiet time can help a child feel refreshed.

• Change the timing and length of naps.
Timing of naps is

important. A late nap or an excessively long nap will prevent your

child from being tired at bedtime. Alternatively, a nap that’s too

short won’t meet your child’s sleep needs.

• Prepare for a better nap.
Provide a healthy lunch or snack

before the nap. Have a quiet, prenap routine, such as reading a

book or having a massage. Keep the room dark. Play lullabies

or white noise during the nap. Dress your child in comfortable

clothes. Be sure that physical discomfort (teething, allergies, etc.)

isn’t preventing sleep.

• Watch for signs of tiredness.
Tired children fall asleep eas-

ily. But if you miss these signals children become
overtired
and

then are unable to sleep. Your child may show signs such as los-

ing interest in playtime, becoming whiny or fussy, losing patience,

having tantrums, rubbing eyes, yawning, caressing a “lovey” or

blanket, or asking to nurse or for a pacifi er or bottle.

• Establish a nap routine.
Once you’ve created a schedule that

works with your child’s periods of tiredness, follow a simple but

Mother-Speak

“ I really believe that the quiet hour is important to my chil-

dren’s sense of equilibrium in the day. Even when my son

Eliot doesn’t sleep, it gives him practice at being awake and

quiet in his bedroom, which helps him lie quietly in the eve-

ning before he drops off to sleep. Equally important, it gives

me a break as well. That one hour in the day is my sanctuary.

I’m going to defend it for as long as I can!”

—Julie, mother to Eliot, age 3, and Oliver, age 2

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Specifi

c Solutions for Everyday Problems

specifi c nap routine. Your child will be comfortable with a pattern

to her day. She may even predict when nap time approaches and

willingly cooperate with you.

• Recognize when nap routines change.
Children’s sleep

needs change over time. The routine that you set up today won’t

be the same one you’re using a year from now. Be adaptable!

What Not to Do

• Don’t assume your child doesn’t need a nap.
Most children

up to age four or fi ve benefi t from a daily nap, even if they resist

the idea.

• Don’t skip naps in hope of having an earlier or easier bed-

time.
The idea of keeping a child up all day to make him extra

tired for bedtime almost always backfi res. Good nap-time sleep can

actually improve night sleep.

• Don’t keep a nap schedule that isn’t working.
Over time,

children change from taking two naps to one and eventually to

none. In between those time periods the schedule may change day

to day. In addition, the activity of the day might warrant a longer,

shorter, earlier, or later nap. Your child’s daily behavior is the best

indicator of whether he needs a nap.

Swearing, Bad Language, and

Bathroom Jokes

See also: Backtalk; Manners

My son thinks it’s hysterical to talk about (and

mimic!) bodily functions and waste products in a

grossly funny way. He also fi nds it very funny to use

swear words.

Think About It

Children fi nd jokes about private body parts, waste products, and

body sounds hysterically funny. They also fi gure out at a very young age that certain words have a distinctively forbidden aura.

Many children go through the phase of exploring these words.

While normal, it is socially inappropriate, and the sooner you take

action the sooner it will stop.

What to Do

• Ignore the fi rst offense.
If your child innocently injects the word into his conversation, he may just be repeating something

he heard. Ignoring it may be the best fi rst defense. If your child

uses the word a second time, it’s clear that he’s ready to learn more

about improper language.

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272

Specifi

c Solutions for Everyday Problems

• Teach your child what is socially inappropriate.
Children

will repeat things that they hear, even when they don’t know what

it means—after all, that’s how they’ve learned all the other words

in their vocabulary. Your child likely doesn’t know the defi nition

of the swear word but is using it because of mimicking someone

else. Identify the word and explain, “That is not a word children

use.” Or, “That’s not something we joke about in this house.”

• Keep an eye on siblings, friends, and other adults.
Young

kids are great mynah birds. Determine where your child is pick-

ing up the swear words or off-color jokes. Friends? Older siblings?

Playmates? (Certainly not from
you
!) This might be a good time

to have a chat about the power and meaning of words, why peo-

ple swear, and what you feel is acceptable. You can provide some

appropriate alternatives to use when your son’s tempted to use the

wrong word.

• Monitor TV shows and movies.
Even shows that are turned

on when your child is in the room, but not intended for him, can

infl uence his vocabulary. Children are capable of picking up back-

ground words, even when they are busy playing and don’t seem to

be paying attention.

What Not to Do

• Don’t laugh.
Even if it
is
funny, don’t react with laughter.

• Don’t get angry.
Your child might have innocently repeated

a word or phrase he heard in conversation and be confused by your

anger. “Why was it okay for Daddy to say that in the car, but it’s

not okay for me to say it?”

• Don’t express shock or offense.
Your extremely interesting

response might elicit more of the same. It’s unlikely that your child

understood what he was saying. This is normal childish explora-

tion of language. It just needs to be defi ned and corrected.