The Officer and the Traveler (28 page)

He nudged her thigh with his knee. “That wasn’t an option, Mrs. Montgomery.”

“
Blackberries,” she said, grimacing. She’d never know why, but she hated both of those berries.
 

“
Pie or cake.”
 

“
Cake.”
 

“
Then why do you make so many pies?”
 

“
Because you seem to like them.”
 

“
I’m sure I’d love your cake, too.”
 

“
Is it my turn to ask questions now?”
 

“
No. I have a few more.” He edged closer to her, if such a thing were possible. “Spiders or snakes?”
 

She shuddered. “Neither and I mean it.”

He chuckled. “Pick one.”

“
A spider. At least I can smash it.”
 

His chest rumbled with another chuckle. “Horseback or carriage?”

“
Carriage,” she said without hesitancy.
 

“
Wes or Jack.”
 

She dropped her jaw in half-feigned outrage and disbelief and twisted her neck and upper body around enough so she could see his handsome, grinning face. “I can’t answer that.”

“
Yes, you can,” he goaded.
 

“
Jack. He’s my brother-in-law.”
 

“
So you’d choose him by default,” he surmised, still grinning.
 

No, I’d choose
you
, you fool.
She started to turn back around but froze, both of their eyes dropping down to where Gray’s hand now rested on her arm with his entire palm pressing right against her breast. They’d both been so caught up in the moment and her reaction to his provoking answer neither had noticed the new position of their bodies when she twisted in his hold.
 

“
I’m sorry,” he murmured, flushing a violent crimson and moving his hand away.
 

She turned back to the way she’d been sitting before, uncertain. His reaction had seemed a little extreme. “It was just an accident.”

“
I should have been more careful.” His hoarse words made her heart hurt and before she could convince herself to just let this awkward moment pass, she reached for both of his hands and placed them squarely on her full breasts.
 

“
Now you don’t have to be.” Her blood pounded loudly in her ears at her own bravery, mixing with the tingles that shot through her body from where his hands covered her swollen breasts. What had she just done? She dropped her hands, his frozen where she’d put them, a feather-light touch.
 

“
I don’t want to hurt you,” he explained, lowering his hands to her abdomen.
 

“
You weren’t.” A new sense of understanding came over her as a memory of that horrific night flashed in her mind. She closed her eyes and a newer memory took hold: their wedding night. He’d been very careful with her. He hadn’t asked her to take off her chemise nor had he touched her very much, especially not her breasts. In fact, it almost seemed as if he’d taken great care
not
to touch her there. She frowned. “Gray, do you not like breasts?”
 

Gray developed an extreme coughing fit. “Of all the questions in the world to ask me, that’s the first one you chose?”

Screwing up her determination, and sending up a silent prayer of thanksgiving her back was to him, she said, “I won’t tell anyone that you don’t, I just want to know.”

“
Michaela, I’ve never met a man who didn’t.”
 

“
So you do like them, you’re just afraid of hurting me,” she asked for confirmation.
 

He sighed. “Can we speak of something else, please?”

“
No. You made me answer your questions, no matter how asinine, you can answer mine.”
 

A moment passed. “You’re correct.”

“
You won’t hurt me, I promise,” she said, matching his low tone. She took a deep breath and moved his hands again. Had anyone ever told her she’d be placing Gray’s hands on her breasts, she’d have told them they were mad. “It’s all right. You’re not hurting me now.”
 

The muscles in his arms tensed. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I don’t want to hurt you.”

She resisted the urge to sigh in aggravation. “You’re not and you won’t as long as you’re gentle.”

“
I don’t know if I can,” he whispered, giving her a hesitant squeeze.
 

She bit her lip to keep from sighing, this time in satisfaction at the way her traitorous body reacted to his touch. She shut her eyes and leaned her head back to rest on his shoulder, shamelessly offering him full access to do whatever he’d like with her breasts.

His touch grew bolder, more daring as he molded and shaped her breasts through the fabric of her gown. Beneath his hands her breasts swelled and the tips hardened until she thought she might embarrass herself by bursting from her gown. Her breathing grew labored but she didn’t mind; Gray’s was just as heavy.

“
May I?” His words seemed almost strained. He gave the tie at the top of her gown a little pull.
 

She swallowed and looked up into his blue-green eyes. They were a little darker than usual and very intent, the way she imagined hers to be as well. “Yes.”

Gray slipped loose the knot in the bow that tied at the top of her gown, then moved to the buttons that went down her bodice. With a torturous slowness, he unbuttoned the first five of them. The pale blue fabric gaped, offering the world an unobstructed view of her lace-rimmed chemise.

She held her breath in anticipation of Gray sliding his hands inside her gown, and was startled a little when he didn’t. His fingers gripped the fabric of her dress up at her shoulders and slid it down, uncovering her shoulders. When he’d moved the top of her gown down her arms to his satisfaction, he took hold of the straps of her chemise and lowered them, baring her breasts.

She let out a nervous
squeak
and tried to at least pull her chemise back up. Maybe he was right and this wasn’t a good idea.
 

“
Nobody can see,” he said thickly in her ear. “I promise it’s just us out here.”
 

That did little to comfort her. She opened her mouth to protest, but her breath was suddenly taken away when his large, tanned hands covered her breasts. His breathing became labored again and he bent his head to look over her shoulder to where his hands were caressing her. He squeezed them once more and moved to cup them, his thumb brushing her hardened nipples.

She sucked in a breath and he froze.

“
Did I hurt you?” The ragged emotion in his voice would have made her melt in his arms if she hadn’t already.
 

“
No.”
 

“
You’ll tell me—” he took a hard swallow— “if I do?”
 

She nodded and went back to letting him touch her, no longer caring what he might think of her when she reacted to him.

A moment or two later his hands stopped their exploration and delicious torment and started making a slow path down her sides.

“
That night that we...did you?”
 

She looked at him in confusion. She had absolutely no idea what he was speaking about.

He swallowed audibly “I didn’t think so.”

“
Wh—” Her question turned into a sound of alarm when Gray wiggled out from behind her and eased her onto her back.
 

“
Relax,” he whispered, dropping a kiss near her ear.
 

She tried to do as he’d said, but it was hard to relax when one was half-naked lying on the ground. Gray lay on his side next to her, staring shamelessly at her bare breasts. A measure of female pride shot through her that she could captivate him so.

He propped his head up on his right hand, his elbow digging into the ground. His face looked tense, rigid. He reached forward with his free hand and trailed his fingertips from the side of her far breast, across the top, to the valley between them, then over the other before slowly inching his way day down her side.

She cast him a curious look, but his head was turned down, looking in the direction of her waist. His hand reached her hip and Gray scooted his whole body further down, his hand still moving lower. He paused and grabbed up two large fistfuls of her full skirts, pulling them off to the side and out of the way. Then his hand was on the inside of her calf. She tensed. “Gray?”

“
I won’t hurt you,” he said.
 

She already knew that, what she wanted to know was what he
was
doing. Paying no mind to her
curiosity, he glided his hand up her calf and to her thigh. “Gray,” she choked, closing her legs together.
 

He stilled his hand and looked up at her with a hooded gaze. He let his eyes travel down to her breasts, a flash of desire flickering in them. Gray removed his hand from beneath her skirt and rearranged her skirts to where the hem came up to her mid-thigh. He urged her to spread her knees just a little then came to kneel between them like he had on their wedding night.

An unnameable excitement came over her then. Did he intend to... Now? Here? She searched his face. He gave nothing away about his intentions.

Then it happened. With a whinny from Sundance, his face began to change with a myriad of shadows crossing it. The intense look that had filled his eyes quickly faded to something she didn’t recognize with wide eyes and tight lips.

She suddenly felt very cold and vulnerable and her hands sought to cover herself.

Abruptly, Gray stood and turned his back to her. She sat up and scrambled to make herself decent, shame for her wanton behavior washing over her like waterfall.

***

Gray could hardly catch his breath. What had he just done? They were outside where anyone could see them and he’d just made her vulnerable all for the sake of his own desires.

He cast a glance over his shoulder to see if she was ready to return. She was. Good because when neither of them had been paying attention the sun had begun making its journey down the western sky.

Gray offered her his best attempt at an apologetic smile and hoisted her up onto the Sundance’s back, unable to make eye contact with her.

She, for her part, reached for the reins. “I’ll ride her. You can walk.”

Stunned, he froze and tightened his hold on the reins. “Have you gotten past your fear of horses?”

“
No, but my fear of horses doesn’t compare with the—” She broke off and reached for the reins again.
 

“
No. I won’t have you getting yourself hurt because you’re angry with me.”
 

Her pink cheeks turned red. “Give me the reins, Gray. I think it’s best if we don’t share a mount.”

“
I agree.” And he did. He needed to put as much distance between himself and her as he could and not having her in his lap seemed like a good place to start. “But I’m not going to let you endanger yourself. I’ll hold the reins and walk beside you.”
 

Her jaw dropped, then she closed her mouth with an audible
snap
of her teeth and turned to face the other direction, her hands clenched into nervous fists in her lap.
 

“
Michaela.” He took a deep breath. It did nothing to calm the turmoil brewing inside of him. “I didn’t intend to upset you. I just looked down and—and—and—” Words failed him. “You don’t
deserve that. I shouldn’t have let it go so far.”
 

“
So far?”
 

He nodded, his mouth unable to form the right word. He looked over to the trees. “I should have listened to your protests about being outside. Instead, I kept pushing you and I’m sorry. I should have waited until we were alone in our room.”

She turned her head to face him. “So you do intend to—” she dropped her voice to a whisper— “make love with me?”

He felt his eyes flare wide and he was powerless to stop them. “No.” He swallowed uncomfortably past the lump in his throat, but she deserved an answer and he needed to give it to her. “I merely meant to offer you the same fulfillment I had.”

Her face clouded with confusion.

“
On our wedding night, I found satisfaction and you didn’t. I wanted to give you the same experience.” The tips of his ears burned as he spoke those words, but it didn’t make them any less true.
 

“
So you did plan to bed me,” she said again.
 

“
No.” He raked his hand through his hair. Damn his guilt and morals, if he’d have just continued on they wouldn’t be having this conversation. “Both men and women are capable of finding satisfaction both through the act...or separately. My intention was to help you find yours without my breaking my earlier promise to you.” He forced himself to meet her gaze. “Nothing has changed. I cannot bed you.”
 

Fire flashed in her emerald eyes. “I see and so to pass the time, you thought it was best to placate my wanton ways by—by—offering me one-sided pleasure?”

“
One-sided?” He scoffed. “That’s all it was on our wedding night, wasn’t it? I see nothing wrong with trying to even the score for you, but if you aren’t interested in what I can offer you—” he shrugged carelessly— “then who am I to care.”
 

She pressed her lips into a thin line.  “How would you know whether I was satisfied or not?”

He assumed the sharpness of her words was a product of her embarrassment at his bitter words and almost apologized to her again. Almost.