The Order of the Elements 01 - Breaking Point (64 page)

“Hector, what are you doing here?” she asked, surprised by how light his grip was compared to what she was accustomed to from him.

“I was just coming back from the lake. I was hoping I could steal a few minutes of your time?” He glanced at Dorian.

Phoebe turned to look at Dorian; he looked perfectly relaxed. “I’ll meet you in the garden, okay?”

“Okay,” he said before squeezing her hand and walking away.

Hector turned to the door behind him, opened it, and pulled her inside before snapping the door closed. He turned to look at Phoebe and crossed his arms, then uncrossed his arms; he took a breath like he was getting ready to say something and then let the breath back out.

“Hector, what’s wrong?” Phoebe asked. She had never seen Hector look uncomfortable about anything.

His eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t know exactly. That’s why I needed to talk to you.”

“Well, okay, what do you need?” she asked, unsure of what exactly he wanted her to do.

“I want you to read me. I know that you can now.”

Phoebe looked at him suspiciously. “What am I supposed to be looking for?”

The thoughts and emotions of everyone else in the Haven buzzed in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t feel anything in particular from Hector at the moment. If she was going to focus, she needed to know what exactly to focus on.

He clenched his hand into a fist and then forced himself to relax it. “I need to know…exactly…how I feel about you.”

Phoebe’s jaw clenched shut, and her eyes narrowed. “Why?”

He stepped forward and reached toward her, but then his hand dropped. “Because I don’t know.”

“We’re friends,” she said through her teeth.

His dark eyes finally met hers and something sparked in them. Or maybe that was hers? “Is that all? What about what happened in the mountains?”

Did he have to bring that up?
Phoebe hadn’t forgotten, but she didn’t want to talk about it either. “What about it?”

“I kissed you.”

She nodded as her stomach clenched uncomfortably. “Yes, out of necessity.”

His eyes clouded. “But you kissed me back.”

Phoebe’s face burned, and she dropped her eyes from his. “And?”

His finger was under her chin, forcing her to look at him. “You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything. Even with my talent working, I felt it.”

Her skin felt like it was crawling, and she squirmed uncomfortably. Her throat constricted. “Hector, it’s not like that for you and me. We’re friends, best friends, but nothing more.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Do you know why my talent finally turned off?”

Phoebe tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “No.”

“Because I trusted you.”

Phoebe couldn’t do this. She could not be having this discussion with her best friend. “Why?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. After I kissed you, I just knew that it was impossible for you to hurt me, even when I was vulnerable.”

Phoebe squirmed again, and it felt like someone had turned the temperature up way too high. “Don’t turn this into something it’s not. We’re friends, I promise you that, but nothing more.”

He dropped his hand from her chin. “I don’t believe that.”

“Then why are you asking me?”

He shrugged. “Because I don’t know for sure. It’s so strange to feel things again. It feels strange when I see you with Dorian. It makes me upset.”

No. No. No. No. No.
“It’s just a hormone thing. You’ll get used to it.”

He inched closer, and this time Phoebe took a step back. His eyes clouded over, and then his face relaxed. “I don’t want to get used to it. I’d rather not feel that way.”

Phoebe threw her hands up in the air, suddenly very irritated. “I don’t know what to tell you then! I am and always will be with Dorian, and I am and always will be your friend, but that’s all.”

He held up his hands in surrender, and Phoebe immediately felt bad for berating him. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’m just confused. I’m not trying to steal you away or anything; I just want to understand,” he explained.

“Well, now you do.”

She turned to leave, anxious to be away from this uncomfortable situation. He grabbed her arm. “Don’t be angry. I’m sorry, okay? Maybe I didn’t phrase it right, but all this stuff is new to me. I just…I thought you should know.”

Phoebe’s anger vanished. She couldn’t be mad at him. “I’m sorry too. I just don’t want to make things weird, and trust me, this kind of talk will make things weird.”

He smiled warmly. “All right, then, zero weirdness. Friends?” He stuck out his hand.

She shook it and smiled. “Friends. Now, I have someone waiting for me. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Sure thing!”

Phoebe turned and walked out the door. She tried not to think about their awkward conversation. Not because it made her ill, but because he was right. She had kissed him back. She had felt something. She groaned to herself.
It was nothing.
She knew it had only been misplaced want. She had wanted Dorian, but Hector had been available at the time. Now that was over and Dorian was waiting for her.

The sunlit, peaceful halls of the Haven calmed her thoughts. Phoebe still thought it was a little too beautiful. A bandage. Only now, she saw the bandage in a different light. Yes, it was still covering up the festering wound beneath it, but bandages served their purpose well. While they hid the wound from sight, they gave time for healing and reflection. Bandages helped ease the mind and soothe the senses. They allowed for hope and renewal. For if all they ever saw was the infected wound, how were they to believe it could ever be any better?

A brighter day was coming, a day when a bandage would no longer be necessary. But for now, Phoebe was thankful for the peace that it offered. It was all about perspective.

Epilogue

The sky had never been more blue, and the garden had never been more beautiful, and he had never been so certain of what he was about to do. He had suffered the pain of loss too many times to count, and he would not let that pain consume him again—at least, not as far as she was concerned. Too many times he had thought she was gone. Too many times he had grieved over her absence. He wouldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t.

It was selfish. Probably the most selfish thing anyone would ever do in the history of the world. To knowingly pass on this burden to her was a truly deceitful and life-altering crime. He had tried to protect her. Really, he had. But all that protection had done thus far was bring them both pain. Pain and anguish that he couldn’t take much more of, and he didn’t think she could, either.

Even now, as he waited for her to join him, his arms ached from her absence. He could have turned his back. He could have continued on the path she had already thought he was on. Time might have healed her wounds. She was strong, but not strong enough. The strength and power she personified at any given moment wasn’t always enough. She needed him. He felt that need all the way to his soul, and he couldn’t deny it anymore because he needed her just as much. He could fight it, if he really wanted to. But he was tired of fighting. For once in his life, it was time to give in.

He heard her light steps on the garden path, and he had to fight with his muscles to keep himself in place and appear relaxed. If only she knew how just her presence really affected him. Her footsteps paused, and he heard the delicate snap of a flower being picked. She continued down the path, and just before she appeared around the fountain, the full force of her scent of rainwater and lilies assaulted his senses. It was intoxicating. She was intoxicating.

Her eyes were clouded, like she was thinking about something, but she had a pleasant smile on her face. She stepped into a pool of sunshine and stopped. She smiled widely and turned slowly as the sunlight hit her face. He had nearly forgotten that feeling.

The feeling of realizing he was alive when he had never thought he would take in another breath of air. Everything was brighter, more beautiful, and more exquisite. Could he take that from her? Could he steal that joy that lit her face and made her eyes dance?

Unable to sit in place any longer, he rose from his seat on the bench—the bench where he had first realized he could no longer ignore the power she held over him—and stepped into the sunlight with her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into him. He liked it when she forgot how small and truly delicate she was to him. She could beat anyone as far as strength went, but to him she was a delicate flower that could be snapped as easily as the tulip she held in her hand. She needed protection whether she thought so or not.

Her long brown hair cascaded down her back as she looked up at him, and the sun made her eyes sparkle, and again he doubted his decision.

“What did Hector want?” Dorian asked, stalling.

That small moment of doubt caused him to rethink everything and to not think it over at the same time. He knew what he wanted and what he had to do to get it. The real question was—could he do it? Would he be able to live with himself afterward? As if he would have a choice.

The smallest amount of tension filled her eyes and then vanished. “Nothing really, he just wanted to ask a question about his power.”

Her voice soothed his worries and reinforced his previous decision. He couldn’t lose her again.

She looked thoughtful for a minute and then turned her attention back to him. “So, we have a discussion to finish. Do I get to hear the secrets of Dorian now?”

She smiled and any doubt at all was erased from his mind. “Something like that,” he replied.

She looked a little overexcited, but before she could start asking any questions, he pulled her closer and ran his fingers over her cheekbone. Anything she had been ready to say died in her throat as her breath caught in surprise. Her blindingly blue eyes stared into his with a slight emptiness. He smiled and leaned down to press his cheek against hers and whisper in her ear.

“Oh no you don’t. We’ll do this my way, or I don’t tell you a thing.”

Dorian ran his fingers down her throat and collar bone and pulled his cheek from hers, keeping light contact as he did so. As his hand came back up and cupped her chin, he could feel her pulse racing. The tiniest hint of doubt filled him again. He ignored it.

The emptiness was gone from her eyes, and he knew she wasn’t in his head anymore. “Okay…okay…well…what do you have…to…to…tell me?” she stuttered.

Dorian didn’t even answer. What was he going to say? He leaned down, closer to her face, and he felt her shallow, quick breath on his skin. Before he could doubt his decision anymore, he closed the last couple of inches between them and brushed his lips softly to hers.

Her breathing stopped altogether and then a shock rocked all the way through her body, and she cried out in pain. He was too late. He felt his heart and stomach drop in disappointment.

She stumbled back from him for a few steps and tried to catch her breath. “What are you doing? Is that your secret—that you’re going to shock me to death?”

He watched her clutch at her chest as her breathing slowly evened out. She had anger and betrayal in her eyes. Despair, so tangible he could taste it, filled the air. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did he put this off for so long? He could have had her. Now, because he was too incredibly slow at figuring out that he could no longer live without her, he might never have her.

“No, wait. It’s not like that. It’s something else. I need to know what you talked to Hector about,” he said, wishing he could reach out to her.

Why did it have to be him? Of all the people in this entire world, why him? Dorian knew it would happen, sooner or later. As Masters, they got all of the good and all of the bad. It was only a matter of time before this happened. But why on earth did it have to be him!

Her eyes became guarded and distrustful. “What? Why?”

Dorian sighed. “I’m not trying to hurt you. Think about it. When that happened, did it feel like I had done anything to you?”

Her eyes widened as she thought it over. “Not really. It felt like something was trying to tear me in half, though. What’s happening?”

“Please, just tell me what you were talking to Hector about. It’s important.”

Her shoulders fell, and she bit her lip. “We were talking about how he got out of the cave.”

“And…?” he pressed.

“Okay, fine. Ethan didn’t override his talent or anything like that. He wasn’t even using it at the time, or now. He got over his…trust issues.” She started fidgeting.

He already knew what was coming. It was the only way this could have happened. “And who did he get over those trust issues with?”

She glared at him before realizing he already knew the answer and was just trying to get her to admit it. “Me. He’s the one who brought me back, and now he can’t figure out how he feels about that.”

He nodded as new pain of loss filled him. “And he’s considering that he might care about you as more than a friend.” He didn’t need to phrase it as a question. He already knew the answer.

“Yes. But he doesn’t know for sure, and I wouldn’t try to find out for him because I don’t want to know. I just want him to be my friend. Now, what is going on?”

He didn’t notice that she’d reached out for his hand until the skin brushed his, and she pulled it away suddenly like she had been burned. “Ouch! Dorian, please, what’s wrong?”

He sighed again and tried not to let her see that he was in pain. “Why don’t we just sit down here? It’s time I told you everything.”

Acknowledgments

Always first, I have to say thank you to my kids who led me to writing again on the many sleepless nights I stayed up with them, and to my family for putting up with all my neurosis and late nights when it came to writing this book. Thanks for not killing me through it all.

To Bev, Cindy, Jenny, Coreen, and everyone else at Omnific who made this book possible and gave it all the spit and polish. Your time and patience means more than I can put into words. The fact that you all made me blush with compliments on
Breaking Point
was just the icing on the cake. And I love cake.