The Other Duke (22 page)

Rafe laughed along with Crispin and he did feel joy in his heart at the thought of his family at his side as he battled for Serafina’s heart.

But he wasn’t certain any of this would be as easy as his brother believed. Rafe certainly wasn’t sure if it was a war he could claim victory in at the end, no matter what kind of reinforcements appeared to help him win the day.

Serafina paced Emma’s parlor, her eyes not really seeing her friend’s room because her mind was wandering endlessly to other topics. One topic particular. One distracting and frustrating topic.

The door to the parlor opened and Emma entered, her eyes heavy with sleep and her hair simply tied back rather than styled elaborately. Serafina blushed at the sight of her drowsy friend.

“It is early, I know,” she burst out.

Emma shook her head and stifled a yawn. “You are always welcome, you know that, no matter the hour.”

“I’m sure your husband does not think so when you have been dragged out of bed at such an hour.”

“Adrian is fine,” Emma reassured her softly. “Although you will forgive him if he doesn’t come down.”

“How could I expect him to?” Serafina sighed. “In truth, it is you I wish to see, not him.”

“Then sit down, let me ring for tea and tell me why you’ve traveled across town at nine in the morning to meet with me.”

Serafina sank into the settee and watched as her friend called for a servant. After quiet conversation, Emma returned to take a seat in a chair beside the settee and smiled.

“They will bring refreshments for us in a few moments. Why don’t you begin your tale now? I think I couldn’t wait to hear it now that you’ve come all this way.”

Serafina sighed, stiffened her spine and her resolve, and told Emma about her conversation with Rafe on the terrace the night before.

Emma stared at her, hardly interrupting her as she went over everything from Rafe’s attempts to admit his feelings to her demand for a home for herself. The one thing she couldn’t bring herself to say was that her husband had almost immediately found Lady Braehold, who she could only assume was a former lover, if the way they stood so close and Crispin’s awkward description of them was accurate.

It was when she finished the initial tale that the door opened and a servant appeared with a tray. In truth, Serafina was happy for the interruption. As she told the story, her heart rate had begun to increase and she relived that awful night and her complicated feelings on the matter.

Emma shot her a look and then said to her servant, “Just set it on the sideboard. I’ll pour for us.”

The maid did as she had been told and then left the room. As Emma moved to the sideboard to pour the tea she let out a deep sigh.

“I looked for you after you approached him,” Emma said. “But it was such a crush by then that I never found you again.”

“I left shortly after our encounter, of course,” Serafina whispered.

Emma clucked her tongue. “Rafe must have been hurt deeply by your demand that he fulfill his original bargain. If he was attempting to declare his love for you, that dismissal would have cut him to the bone.”

Serafina flinched as she thought of Rafe’s pained expression and his tight voice. “Yes, I thought I had hurt him and I felt badly. But—”

She cut herself off, once again hesitant to share the last part of her tale, even with her best friend. Of course it was that very last part which had kept her up all night and driven her here at this ungodly hour.

“But what?” Emma asked, her eyes widening. “What are you not telling me?”

She cleared her throat and focused her attention on her lap because she couldn’t look at Emma when she spoke. “He left me to call for the carriage and I stood out on the terrace trying to catch my breath, trying to stop
feeling
anything. I could see him leave the room and then come back, and I wondered if I should go to him, try to talk to him again. I might have done except he—he found
other
company.”

“Other company?”

Serafina nodded, but the motion was jerky. “He was coming back across the room when his brother approached him. And a lady. You may know her, Lady Braehold? She’s a viscountess. The viscount passed a year or so ago, perhaps.”

“I think I might have seen her,” Emma said, her tone uncertain.

“You would know her if you saw her,” Serafina whispered. “She is dark and exotic and just…just beautiful.”

Emma’s eyebrows lifted. “I see.”

Serafina’s foot began to tap beneath her gown and she clenched her hands in her lap. “You know how you can tell when two people are acquainted when you see them together? And I suppose as I gain more, er, experience I can also see when two people are more
intimately
bound.”

Emma’s mouth dropped open. “You think this woman and your husband have been to bed together?”

She nodded. “And Crispin all but verified it when he walked me to the carriage.”

“Why did Rafe’s brother walk you to the carriage?” Emma asked.

Serafina tilted her head. “Because my husband was too busy.”

Emma didn’t physically respond to Serafina’s harsh tone. She merely shook her head before she continued, “So you saw Rafe and this woman together—and you simply
left
?”

Serafina sighed. “What was I supposed to do run up and stake my claim?”

“That would have been one option.”

“I’d only just told my husband to let me go, and I suppose it is easier for him than he pretended it would be. What more was there to say? I slipped out to maintain the last shreds of my dignity.”

“And you went home,” Emma said slowly.

“I went home,” Serafina repeated, covering her eyes with her fingers for a moment. “I went to my chamber and locked my doors and pretended I was going to sleep.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I
couldn’t
!” she clarified. “All I could think about was Rafe’s face on the terrace when he tried to tell me his heart and his face when he was talking to
her
.”

“What happened when he returned home?” Emma pressed.

“I heard him at my door an hour later and I thought he might knock, but…but he didn’t. He just stood outside for a while and then went to bed.”

“And this morning?”

Serafina blushed. “He was still abed when I had my maid help me get  ready and came here. I
couldn’t
face him.”

For a while, Emma was silent, seeming to ponder everything Serafina had told her. With each passing second the quiet drove her mad and finally she threw up her hands.

“Please tell me what you think!”

Emma sighed. “You may not like what I think, Serafina, and I hesitate to tell you for that reason.”

Her heart sank. “No I’ve come here for counsel and I want it, no matter what it is. I trust you to be as honest, but as kind as you can be.”

“You have spent a month with this man, claiming you want nothing to do with a future with him,” Emma began. “You were reluctant about your physical bond and I understood why. And yet somehow you overcame those hesitations and I feel as though you like being in his bed now.”

It was still difficult to admit that to an outsider, but she nodded. “Yes.”

“When that shift happened, I hoped you would allow the same for your heart. Your qualms were reasonable at first, but I prayed that you would open yourself. And yet you didn’t. You refuse to allow this man to care for you, even though he stands before you and offers you something more than you could have ever hoped for.”

Serafina shifted. “I can’t—”

Emma lifted a hand. “Wait.” With a frown, Serafina allowed her friend to continue. “So last night he tried to tell you his heart and you turned him away, all but demanding he go back to his life as if you two had never married. And yet when he does exactly as you requested, you are so jealous that you can’t sleep.”

Serafina wanted to shut out the words, but she couldn’t. “Everything you say is the truth,” she whispered.

“Of course it is!” Emma laughed. “You wanted this! So you now have two options. You can stop being jealous and allow your husband the freedom that you claim you desire him to exercise.”

“Or?”

“Or you can go and get him back,” Emma said softly. “If he wanted to tell you his heart last night, I will almost guarantee that he didn’t change his mind in a span of fifteen minutes. And since he returned to your home within an hour of your last seeing him, it also implies he did nothing untoward with this woman, even if they do share some kind of history before your marriage.”

Serafina pursed her lips. She supposed that was true. After all, she knew from experience that Rafe was the kind of man who treated his lover with care, taking his time for her pleasure.

She flinched at the idea that he had ever done so much for Lady Braehold.

“Look at you, tied up in knots over this man.” Emma smiled. “You are already lost, Serafina. You just haven’t admitted it yet. And I would hate to see you throw away something beautiful in order to protect yourself. Especially since I think you’ve already found that pushing love away doesn’t exactly make one’s feelings change.”

Serafina shook her head. “I don’t have feelings for him. I
can’t
have feelings for him.”

Emma’s smile fell. “If you keep telling yourself that, you’ll lose everything. I hope you won’t be so foolish.”

Serafina got up and looked toward the door. “So what you suggest is that I go home…to his home…to—to
our
home, and I tell him what? That I’m jealous and confused and a mess of a girl?”

“I suppose that would be a start.”

Serafina shook her head. “Why did he have to be
him
?”

Her friend laughed. “Because you deserve him. Now go. And tell me all about it once you’re finished.”

Serafina could hardly breathe as she left her friend’s home and took the long carriage ride back to Rafe’s. With every thundering hoof beat of the horses, her heart responded in kind, and she searched everything in her for an answer to what she would say to Rafe when she saw him.

Rafe glanced up from a ledger sheet he hadn’t been focused enough to read and forced a smile for his butler. “What is it, Lathem?”

The servant glanced behind him. “It’s your wife, Your Grace. She would like to speak with you.”

Rafe’s heart promptly lodged in his throat. He had not seen Serafina since the night before. When he looked for her, he had been told she left to see Emma. Left without so much as saying good morning. That had haunted him for hours. But now she was here.

He let out a long breath before he allowed himself to speak. “Send her in. I’m happy to discuss anything she would like.”

Lathem turned into the hallway and Serafina appeared next to him in the doorway. Her face was pale and there were hints of shadow beneath her eyes. Good. At least he hadn’t been alone in his lack of sleep the night before.

“Come in,” he urged, standing as he nodded Lathem away. The butler gently shut the door behind Serafina, and Rafe couldn’t help but notice the way she jumped slightly when he did.

Which did not leave him feeling confident in whatever she desired to say.

“You don’t ever need to be so formal as to require a servant to meet with me. Not in this house,” he began, motioning toward the chairs across his desk. She ignored him and continued to stand across the room, fiddling with a loose thread on her sleeve.