The Other Other Woman (40 page)

Hey will call you later tonite.

Okay, please have the Matt Wynne circa April - August call back. Thanks.
I heard from him a little after eight p.m.

“Hey, sweetie.”

“Hey, stranger.”

“Very funny,” he said. “The girls in bed?”

“Yeah, so far.”

He started off with random question about work.

“So Brooke said Vanessa finally left. How do you feel now?”

“What? As far as the workload? It sucks. Everyone else is way behind too though, so at least it’s not just me. Or did you mean how I feel about you? Because that sucks too.”

“No, I meant Vanessa. I’m pretty clear on the you and me thing.”

“Well, that makes one of us.”

“Babe…” he sighed, “I told you to give me 30 days.”

“Let me direct your attention to the nearest calendar so that you can see we had this discussion on October 26th. It is now November 26th. You might also note that there are 31 days in October.”

“Oh, sorry. I guess I was thinking I still had until the end of the month.”

“That would be incorrect, sir.”

“Haha… You are a tough cookie, you know that?”

“Even so, there are four days left in the current month. Are you planning on filing for divorce in the next four days or perhaps planning to push your wife in front of a bus by any chance? Because otherwise, four days is probably not going to make much difference.”

“Oh my God. I hope you never lose your sense of humor,” he said with a chuckle. “I miss our banter, you know…”

“Good. Miss anything else?”

“Ah, sweetie, you know I do,” he said softly.

“No, I don’t, Matt. You won’t tell me.”

“I miss everything… the way we talk, the way you make me laugh, the way you make love…”

“But…”

“But, just as you said, I’m not able to make any moves right now with the holidays. Thanksgiving was definitely a struggle for me with her, but at the same time I loved having the rest of my family around. So, I’m in sort of a holding pattern, I guess. I’m sorry. I wanted to be able to tell you something different by now.”

“No, that’s basically what I expected you to say. You know I’m coming down next week, same as before, on Friday.”

“No, you didn’t tell me that.”

“Well, I just did.”

“Ok, that’s the 7th, right?”

“Yes. I just need you to let me know if I need to set aside some time for you.”

“Is it okay if I get back to you on that?”

“Do whatever you gotta do, dear,” I sighed.

“Okay, I’ll let you know soon.”

His birthday was at the end of the week. He reminded me and his co-workers several times of its impending arrival. I wasn’t going to be a jerk and not acknowledge it like some people, but I wasn’t going to rush to do it first thing either. I sent him a message shortly before lunch.
Happy Birthday, Mr. Wynne.

Well thx Mal!!! I feel old.

You are old.

Damn straight. Where are my diapers?

There you go, getting senile and forgetting where you put stuff again. You know what’s funny? My 60 year old momma is a texting fool on her new iPhone 5 but we couldn’t learn you.

Your mom is a 21st. century babe.

Hopefully I didn’t inherit my sexting talents from her.

LMAO. Probably best we don’t find out the answer!

Later that afternoon, Brooke told me that he brought in a homemade carrot cake to share with everyone in the office. I got a sudden strange feeling about this cake. She thought I was nuts.

“What do you mean he brought in a cake?”

“Um, just what I said, dummy. That shit was BANGIN’.”

“Was it a whole uncut cake or like leftover?”

“It was a whole cake.”

“He brought in a homemade cake for his own birthday? He baked himself a cake?”

“No, he said one of his biker friends made it for him. He picked it up at lunch.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“You don’t think that’s odd?”

“Naw, it was good!”

“No, I mean, if someone makes you a whole cake, and you get it in the middle of the day, why would you bring it to your co-workers? Wouldn’t you take it home to your family to celebrate with them? Unless you don’t want your wife to know someone else made you a cake.”

“You think?”

“Brooke, you know I love to bake, and I can promise you I am not about to make any man a homemade carrot cake unless I’m fucking him. That’s not like opening up a box of Betty Crocker. By the way, that reminds me, have you seen the Snot Rocket anywhere recently?”

“Yeah, she’s been here.”

“WHAT?!?”

“What?”

“I told you he told me she went back to Ukraine!”

“Nah, she’s been here. I see her car in the parking deck most days.”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!?”

“Huh?”

“You were supposed to tell me if you saw her! He told me she moved back to Ukraine and I knew he was lying!”

“What the hell? Oh my gosh! I’m sorry! I thought you just meant she had gone back for a few weeks or something! I know I didn’t see her for maybe a week or two but I totally misunderstood what you said! No, she has definitely NOT moved back, but she doesn’t come around up here either that I’ve seen.”

“Well, that explains the cake then, huh?”

“Um, no. Ain’t no way that scrawny little weirdo can bake like that. I really don’t think it was her. People here know her; she’s a ‘friend of the family.’ I think he would have just said she made it.”

“I swear to God, Brooke. He just gets more shady with every passing day.”

“I’m sorry. I really am, friend.”

By Monday, he had made no attempt to discuss where he and I stood and I felt certain he was going to tell me he couldn’t see me on Friday anyway. He sent me a very innocent text in the early afternoon.

Hey, how is your day? You running at 3?

I answered in typical "Seinfeld" fashion.
All right, time’s up. No soup for you on Friday.

LOL… I will find the recipes in the armoire. :)

Seriously, Matt, you don’t want to, so you don’t have to. You are free, my dear. Peace out.

I would like to see you and maybe hang out for a while but not anything else right now.

I don’t think that’s a good idea
.

Let’s talk today.

I’m in the locker room, getting ready to run, be back later.

I didn’t hear another word all day which made my head explode. For the love… it was his idea to talk! I sent him an admittedly shitty text right at dinnertime.
Um, or not?

Sorry I was waiting for a text that you were back, I went to work out and now I’m home, can I call you at 8:30 or 9 tmrw?

Sure Matt, I’m actually still on the treadmill, 4 hours later. I don’t know what else needs to be said. Pretty clear cut if you ask me.

I was pretty busy late today so my bad… again. And yeah I guess, I just thought we were more than just casual friends. A convo would get us on the same page.

It never gets us on the same page. How have I ever treated you like a casual friend?! That’s crazy talk. But if you find me too hideous to sleep with, well, it’s only downhill from there. I just think you could have spared me the last month of BS and been upfront. Not this “well, maybe once I figure myself out, I’ll be calling you and wanting to see you” stuff. It makes it hard to just be friends or anything with you when I feel like you just want to play games with my heart.

I am NOT playing games. I am having the hardest time of my life and I thought you would understand and be there for me.

How have I not been there for you? HOW? Jesus man, I was trying to be there for you on Friday but YOU DON’T WANT ME. Do you understand how difficult it would be for me to see you and not be able to kiss you and touch you and not even understand why? How difficult it was for me the last time you were here? I swear to God, I think I’m a glutton for punishment.

I understand all of that. I am just tired of sneaking around and want to change that. I’m sorry you are caught in the middle.

I never forced you to choose. I still don’t think you will ever leave her. But I really miss the way we were, and you don’t seem to miss me at all. You don’t even seem like the same person anymore. I don’t know who you are. If you were never that serious about me, then fine. You are entitled to how you feel, but own it. Unfortunately for me, I fell very hard for that sweet and flirty guy back in the summer and now I’m having a hard time moving on because I keep hoping he’s still in there. But maybe he never existed. Believe me, I do not want to be stuck on you anymore, I’m trying to date as many people as humanly possible to forget you, actually. I hope we can salvage our friendship, but right now, it’s just too difficult for me.

I do want to salvage that!!!

All you want is my friendship, correct? (Yes or No is the only acceptable response) I’m talking ever again. The conference and beyond.

Mal, if I have to answer today it would be yes. But I don’t know right now.

Okay, well I’m just going to go beat my head against a brick wall for a while. Why are you keeping me hanging on like this? Do you just not know how you feel about me?

Can we just talk in am? But I like you a lot, to answer your question.

Well you have a funny way of showing it.

Yeah, I guess I do sometimes.

Chapter Fifteen

The next day, he called just before lunch.

“Hey, sweetie”

“Hey.”

“I have a question for you.”

“Okay.”

“Mal, why can’t you just meet for me for lunch or a drink? Why is it such a big deal that we have to sleep together?”

“I could ask you the same question. The fact that you suddenly don’t want me anymore is supposed to somehow give me the warm fuzzies and make me want to hang out with you platonically?”

“I never said I didn’t want you. I said I can’t right now.”

“Even so. This wasn’t some one night stand, Matt. We had a relationship. You don’t get to go back to holding hands like it never happened.”

“I’m not trying to pretend it didn’t, but you make it sound like if you can’t have my body, then you want nothing to do with me.”

“Depends, does the body come attached to this personality?”

“Don’t be like that.”

“Seriously, what is the point of us seeing each other if we aren’t together anymore? So I can get upset and spend the entire time I’m down there being depressed because you can’t get your head out of your ass? Why do you want to see me so badly anyway?”

“Hey, I’m trying. Because you are my friend and, believe it or not, I do want to see you and catch up.”

“I’m pretty sure you are all caught up on the latest news.”

“So you don’t want to see me at all?”

“Of course I want to, Matt. But I have to start exercising a little self-preservation here. I can’t keep subjecting myself to disappointment over and over.”

“So, if we don’t sleep together, it’s a disappointment.”

“Look, I know where you are trying to go with that, but you are oversimplifying things. It’s not that we aren’t having sex. It’s that you don’t feel that way about me anymore. I’m so glad it’s no big deal to you, but it’s devastating to me. And the fact that I don’t know why doesn’t make it any easier to swallow. It’s bad enough I have to see your name at work all over the place. Now you want to meet with me just to rub it in my face a little more that you are no longer interested in me?”

“That’s ridiculous, and you know it.”

“Is it? Well, I’m sorry, but that’s what it feels like to me.”

“So you are going to come down here and be within five minutes of the office, but you don’t want to get together at all?”

“I don’t know, Matt. I’ll just have to see how I feel about it later, I guess.”

“Okay, fair enough. But I would like to see you, Mal.”

“I’ll let you know.”

We didn’t speak for the rest of the week. I dropped my kids off at daycare on Friday morning and headed down there. Brooke wanted to leave work a little early, and I wanted to make sure I got there with hopefully enough time to see Cecilia before she left work. I desperately wanted to see him too; I couldn’t deny that. If for nothing else, just to be able to feel his arms around me for one last time, for maybe one last kiss. But I wasn’t about to tell him. Instead, I figured I’d casually stroll into the branch when I got there, say “Hi” to everyone, and see what happened. I hadn’t spoken to him, but Brooke mentioned in passing that I was on my way down. I guess I would see if he wanted to go out for a drink. If not, I could go visit Cecilia or go back to the hotel and go for a run. I always wished we had gone for a run together. That was just one of many things I wanted to experience with him. Things that now I knew I never would.

When I got to the office, he was gone. Neither Brooke nor Molly had any idea where he was. He had left after Brooke went to lunch.

“Do you know if he’s coming back?” I asked her.

“I assume so!”

“He knows I was coming, right?”

“Yeah, I mentioned it earlier.” She looked upset.

“What’s up?” I said.

“I’ll have to tell you later. We had a meeting earlier.”

“Oh, everything okay?”

Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m not sure yet. It’s related to this…” she said, showing me a post-it note with some new broker numbers on it. “But we’ll have to talk about it later because I don’t want anyone to overhear.”

“Oh, okay.”

I decided I’d better go say hello to everyone. By the time I came back around to Brooke’s office, it was easily 30 minutes later. Still no sign of Matt. “You don’t think he purposely ran out, knowing I was coming, do you?”

“Who the hell knows with him? How did you guys leave it?”

“Well, he made it seem like he wanted to get a drink or something. But I’m not going to hang around here forever and then have him not show up.”