The Paler Shade of Autumn (28 page)

“Jordy told me you were home.” Mrs Leone is studying Autumn hard, her eyes probing her eyes, face, the way she holds her body. If she knew she was going to be scrutinised she wouldn’t have come, but she pushes down her belligerence with a single gulp that burns all the way down her throat.

“Yes. We got back early Saturday morning.”

Mrs Leone leads her inside to the kitchen. “Have you had lunch?”

“Not yet.”

“I’ll fix us some lunch and you can tell me all about your trip.”

As Mrs Leone makes pasta bake, Autumn tells her all about the orphanage. But what is it about mothers and their skill at offering an unspoken sympathy that draws out freshly cut grief from one’s body, despite the lengths taken to suppress it? Autumn could kick herself for choking up when she tells her mum about Oyunbileg.
Of all the moments
.

“I worry about you, Autumn. God knows how you worry me. You can be so stubborn and it will come back and bite you.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me.”

Mrs Leone sits on the bar stool beside Autumn and frowns. Her chest rises with a deep intake of air. “I’ve never told you this before, but I’m going to tell you it now because I think you can learn something from it.”

Autumn shifts in her chair; fidgets with her fingers.

“Your father and I were so much in love, almost from the moment we met. It didn’t take long for him to propose and for us to get married. I was so young, nineteen years old, but I knew there was no-one else on this Earth who I would ever want to be with more. And I knew, without any doubt, he felt the same way.

“A few years into the marriage I wanted to have children.” She grins whimsically. “I’ve wanted children ever since I was a little girl. It’s not some people’s aspiration and that’s fine, but it was mine. So I suggested to your father that we should start a family.” Mrs Leone lowers her gaze to the bench-top for several heart beats before raising her eyes back to Autumn. “Your father said he didn’t want children and absolutely nothing I could say would change his mind.”

Her voice grows louder, her neck straining as old emotions surface, even these many years later. “I was so angry with him. This is something he should have told me before I had committed years of my life to him. He should have told me before I fell in love with him. I just felt so betrayed and I couldn’t shake my resentment. I detested him for stealing my choice to have children.”

“But he had a choice to not have kids, as well.”

Mrs Leone nods. “Yes, he did, and that’s why I made the decision to leave him.”

Autumn gasps. “You separated?”

“Yes. I went back and lived with my mum and dad. I was still young, I could start fresh.”

“Obviously Dad changed his mind?” says Autumn. “Unless you’re trying to tell me Dad’s not really my dad.” Autumn throws her hand over her mouth. “Oh God, that’s not what you’re trying to tell me, is it?”

Mrs Leone laughs. “You’re such a bloody drama queen. No, Autumn, I’m not trying to tell you that. Your father eventually realised that he loved me so much he was willing to concede. He came around in his car early one Saturday morning after six months of being apart, packed my suitcase himself and threw it the trunk of his car. He pulled me by my arm to his car and sat me bodily in the passenger seat. He said, ‘I’ll have children, but if you ever leave me again I won’t be so compromising’.” Mrs Leone chuckles. “So, nine months later you were born and, despite your father never having wanted children, he cried like a baby when he first held you in his arms. You looked up into his eyes, wrapped your little hand around his thumb and wouldn’t let him go.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to commit so much energy to Jet and find out some years down the road that perhaps you’ve made a mistake. I was lucky, your father had the ability to produce children, but Jet doesn’t. And the way you’re reacting to this little baby in Mongolia, indicates to me that somewhere deep inside you is your maternal side.”

“But I love Jet. And honestly, Mum, I don’t care if I never have my own child. I’d be happy to adopt and so would Jet.”

Mrs Leone’s eyes widen. “He said that?”

Autumn nods.

Mrs Leone is quiet as she checks on the pasta bake cooking in the oven. She turns to Autumn, hands on hips and smiles. “Well, I guess that gives you something to think about.”

The office is empty, still shadowed in darkness, though she knows Jet will be here and Scott won’t be too far away either. For her first day back, after almost three weeks off, she has stockpiled on coffee, carrying a double-shot latte in one hand for herself and, in the other, a flat white for Jet.

A loud clang sounds. Autumn’s attention flickers to the find the source. Jet’s office door opens and angry footsteps clicking against the high-polished timber floor proceed there from. Tanya.

Of course, she’s back from South Africa today
.

Tanya is six-foot tall, incredibly imposing not only in physique, but also in character. She is loud spoken, uses quick, sweeping hand gestures when she speaks and every movement seems backed by incredible effort.

“Oh, and speak of the devil,” Tanya says, scowling as her eyes meet Autumn’s. Tanya doesn’t slow down as they near each other in the hall. “Nice of you to buy your boyfriend a coffee, but from what I’ve heard you’ve had to give him a little more than that to weasel your way up the ladder.”

Autumn opens her mouth, although nothing but warm breath makes it past her lips. Only the stirred air as Tanya rushes past prickles Autumn’s skin and even that is thick with the sour scent of her dominance.

“Bitch,” Autumn hisses under her breath as she keeps moving towards Jet’s door. He is standing there when she looks up.

He rolls his eyes and nods towards his office. She follows him inside.

“What did she just say to you?”

Autumn hands him his coffee. “It’s not worth repeating. Some smart-arse comment about our relationship.”

“She has a dark soul that one.”

“Yeah, I often wondered how she ever got hired into a company like this.”

Jet smiles. “A great social veneer.”

Autumn scoffs and plonks down into the chair at his desk. “That must have lasted as long the job interview.”

Jet sits back against the end of the desk facing her; peers down at her hands dressed in red, only now noticing her gloves. “Are you seriously going to wear those all day?” he asks.

Autumn shrugs. “If I have to.”

He shakes his head and smiles; leans towards her and kisses her on the forehead.

“You won’t have to put up with Tanya for any longer.”

“You fired her?”

“Nope, she just resigned. I’m paying her out for the month’s notice she would otherwise had to have given.”

Autumn’s eyes are round circles. “She resigned?”

Jet smiles and slowly nods his head.

“Well, that’s an unexpected positive outcome.”

“She says she doesn’t want to work for a man who so publicly takes advantage of career-thirsty, younger women.”

Autumn nearly spits out her mouthful of coffee. She coughs between giggles. “Career-thirsty?”

“I was happy to take the jibe if it means she leaves quietly. She’s packing up her office as we speak and I gave her a voucher for a taxi home. Hopefully she’s gone before the rest of the staff get here. I don’t want her creating a stir. There has already been enough of that the last few weeks.”

Autumn’s mouth tightens. Jet had said all went smoothly last week on that front, but no staff member, other than Tanya, is irrational enough to comment on the boss’s romantic affairs to his face.

“So will we announce today to the team that you are now manager of Stark Consulting?” he says, grinning.

Her stomach tenses and she can feel heat rising from her collarbones and up her neck. “Um, about that.”

Jet draws his lips into a grim line. “You don’t want to be manager?”

Autumn shakes her head, unable to look at him and recognise disappointment in his eyes. “I—with everything that has happened, with the way my insight has changed, I can’t handle it. And then, with me being in a relationship with you, and having to deal with the snide comments from the rest of the staff on top of it all. I—I just can’t. I’m really sorry.”

She feels Jet’s tender hands frame her face and he tilts her head up so she has to look at him. She hadn’t noticed tears had fallen down her cheeks until his attentive thumbs wipe them away.

“Autumn, please don’t get upset.” He kisses her lips. “It’s fine if you don’t want to be manager. I thought I’d see if you’d changed your mind. That’s all. I understand, to an extent, how difficult it is for you at the moment.”

Autumn releases a long breath and closes her eyes. “Thank you.”

He grins, strokes loose strands of hair behind her ear. “I have a plan B up my sleeve for you.”

“What?”

“How would you feel about heading my international aide branch? Very limited face-to-face contact with people, but a job far more important than manager of Stark Consulting.”

Autumn smiles and nods. “That sounds like something I’d love to do.”

He kisses her gently on the lips. “Good.” He sits upright and looks down at her, his expression serious. “I only want you to be happy. Don’t ever think I’ll pressure you into doing something you can’t cope with.”

“Ordinarily, Jet, I would like pressure. I would want you to treat me like a boss does, and drive me to challenge myself. But that part of me has receded deep inside, and at the moment—I hope it changes down the track—but at the moment I can’t find it.”

“I know. It’s ok. We’ll just deal with it each day.”

She smiles as she looks into those beautiful eyes of his. How lucky she is to have him in her life. “I love you, so much,” she whispers and feels her heart expand and her mind grow muzzy.

“I love you, too.”

He takes her gloved hands in his and stands; lifts her off the seat. A magazine falls out from under him, onto the floor. Autumns bends and picks up the glossy pages.

“Brisbane City Real Estate,” she reads.

Jet’s lips pull upwards at the corners into a coy grin.

“What’s this?” she says, handing it to him.

“I’m, maybe, thinking about moving here.”

Her stomach pangs with excitement. “Is that right?”

He nods, drops the magazine onto his desk. “Seeing as all my
interests
are here, I thought it might be a good idea.”

“Am I one of those
interests
?”

He grins, slides his arm around her waist and pulls her closer. He brushes his lips over her ear and with his warm breath sending sensual shivers up her body, says, “An unbelievably sexy, mesmerising interest.”

Jet grabs her hands, pulls her gloves off and throws them onto his desk, then wraps her in his arms and kisses her mouth. There’s something in his kiss, which he usually restrains when they are at work: a hungry passion, an erotic intention, a need. Her own body is fuelled by this; she can feel it thick and palpable as it overtakes his body and he shares it with her through his kiss and eager hands that slide over her thighs.

She breaks away and looks to the door. “It’s open,” she breathes, only able to keep his lips away long enough to get the words out before they are back on hers, his tongue finding her warmth. Oh, he smells so good, a subtle soapiness mixed with that delicious scent of a man: Jet’s scent, which overwhelms her senses. She almost doesn’t care about the door, or if anyone were to walk in. All she wants is him, hard and rough. Reaching down she pushes her palm against his erection; a low growl rumbles from his throat.

He wraps his hand around her pony tail and tugs; tilts her head back, exposing the tender flesh of her throat. He trails his nose along her neck, planting kisses along her throat, earlobe. “I want you. Now.”

She offers a small grin. “Yes, boss.”

“Scott!” he yells. “Shut my door will you?”

He lifts her up into his arms and she clasps her legs tightly around his hips. Lips and tongue hungrily tasting hers, he steps her back towards the desk. With a single sweep, he sends the pens, notepads and files crashing to the floor. He lowers her onto the desk and stands snug between her thighs. She unzips his pants and reaches inside, releasing his cock, solid, ready.

Jet’s head rolls back; his breaths heavy and she strokes the length of him; runs her thumb over his glistening head. He reaches between her legs and peels the crutch of her underwear to one side.

“Are you ready for me?” He thrusts two fingers deep inside; her reply: a breathy sigh. “So ready. So wet for me,” he whispers, voice hoarse with desire.

Autumn’s tummy tightens seeing pleasure loosen Jet’s features. He grips the string of her panties and pulls them down her knees, to her ankles and they drip from her feet to the floor. He pushes her thighs wider and doesn’t hesitate in filling her up with every hardened inch of him. Jet plunges in and out, rough, deep, exactly as she wants it. Her fingers dig into his shoulders as he continues to satiate every one of her carnal cravings right there on his desk.

He doesn’t last long; the setting is too erotic, too stimulating. He buries his face against her neck, to stifle the guttural groan that rips from his throat, as ecstasy overcomes him. The sound possesses her, caresses the most tender, most intimate parts of her body and she clenches around the pulsating length of him.

Oh my God
.

She bites on her bottom lip as waves of throbbing delight roll through her body, dizzying her, forcing deep hard breaths from her lungs and then she is spent and Jet is spent and she collapses against his hard chest, gasping at the thin air.

Jet kisses her ear; kisses her cheek, mouth, jaw. “Anytime you need to come to my office and see me about anything, my door is open.”

Autumn’s eyes flicker towards the door. It’s closed. Scott must have done as he was asked. “Yes. I could make a habit of servicing my boss in this manner.

A blazing Australian summer rolls through with many muggy days, where moisture clings to skin, skin clings to clothes. Only by late March do the temperatures begin to cool, offering breezier nights and subtler autumn rain. Today is one of those beautiful Sundays that remind Autumn the country is heading towards winter. A crisp bite in the air colours her cheeks a beautiful blush as she and Jet stroll through the city.