The Perfection Paradox (25 page)

Hunter lay in
bed that night frustrated and confused.

How could he
have gotten himself into this situation?

His mind
drifted to a girl he’d met a couple summers ago. She’d berated him
when he lost interest in her. He remembered her words more than he
remembered anything else about her.

“
I sincerely
hope you fall desperately in in love someday, because then at least
you’ll feel something for once in your life. And then I hope she
breaks your heart into a million tiny pieces and that you’re never
quite the same again.”

He knew that
what he’d done was wrong to a degree, but he’d just wanted to see
if she cared, if he was pursuing something real or just something
fantastical he’d imagined up. And now, here he was, right back at
the beginning, actually even further from conquering Kennedy than
he had been before he’d ever even uttered a word to her.

Hunter’s mind
drifted back to the first time he’d seen Kennedy Blakewood, the
first day of school in freshman year.

Hunter had
been waiting for it for so long. Finally all the things that really
mattered would fall into place.

Freshman
Hunter wasn’t a ‘feelings’ kind of guy.

He actually
found it unattractive.

Every girl he
had ever kissed had eventually lost the glossy shine that attracted
him to her initially, and became boring and tedious.

To Hunter,
high school, college, the best years of your life in general,
should be reserved for complete detachment from commitment, and the
emotional availability of pretty much all the girls he’d ever
kissed validated that for him.

He could
never reciprocate even the slightest attraction. He didn’t
understand feelings, so why bother with them?

The people
that usually had them were mundane, soppy, deluded and generally
irritating.

In Hunter’s
lifetime no girl had been worth it yet, no one had been worth
risking complications. He liked it how it was, if he wanted someone
he would pursue her until he got her, then he would move on to the
next desirable thing that caught his eye.

Fortunately
for Hunter, he had the looks to just want things and then have
them, he had gotten used to it, any girl he had ever pursued in the
town he’d grown up in had eventually cared, had eventually given
him what he wanted.

But this
would be the year Hunter’s perfect world would start to unravel,
when things would stop being so easy.

The year all
the hearts he ever broke and would break, all the tears cried over
him, would catch up with him.

He’d swanned
into his ninth grade homeroom, dropping his backpack on to the desk
next to Ryan and swinging into the seat next to him.

They
exchanged tales of their summer adventures. Ryan shook his head,
laughing at his best friend’s arrogance as he recounted chance
encounters with topless bikini models.

The class had
settled into their seats and Mr Brigg was taking roll call when
there was a knock on the door.

The
Principal, Mr Andrews, appeared at the doorway.

He had
graduated from Rosewell the same year as Hunter’s
father.

“
Excuse me,
Mr Brigg, I’m sorry to interrupt your homeroom, but I have a last
minute addition to your class.”

The room,
which had previously been buzzing with chatter, fell silent
suddenly.

“
This is
Kennedy Blakewood.”

As Kennedy
Blakewood stepped forward the room remained completely silent. Ryan
shot Hunter a look, but Hunter barely noticed.

He’d found
the next sparkly new thing he wanted, and was absolutely mesmerized
by her.

Kennedy
Blakewood was
beautiful
, and beautiful was not a typical word in fourteen-year-old
Hunter’s vocabulary.

She was tall
and lithe and her eyes were the colour of the most beautiful exotic
ocean in the world. Hunter could’ve just stared at her all day,
trying and failing to find a single fault. She was dressed in a
baggy white t-shirt and denim shorts, but she somehow made it look
fantastically glamorous.

Hunter
glanced around the room. Pretty much every guy made eye contact
with him, and all their eyes were saying the same thing.
Wow
.

Hunter had to
have her.

“
What class
do you have next Miss Blakewood?” Principal Andrews asked, taking
Kennedy’s schedule from her and scanning it quickly.
“Chemistry…”

“
I’m sure
Brianna won’t mind showing you to your next class on the way to
hers” he suggested, bowing his head towards Brianna, a blonde
frizzy-haired girl with zany orange glasses. She nodded
enthusiastically, bright blue braces glistening in the August
sunlight.  

“
Well, I take
chemistry too” Hunter suggested boldly, “so I can show Kennedy
where our class is, I just need to pick up my binder from my
locker…”

He did his
best to conceal his secret hopefulness.

Principal
Andrews shrugged his shoulders, “It’s up to you Ms.
Blakewood”

Hunter smiled
at her charmingly, “
you have an
irresistible smile
” he suddenly remembered
some nameless faceless girl drawling in the sweltering heat of
summer.

Kennedy
smiled at him and his heart leapt. This would be
easy
.

“
I’ll go with
Brianna. Thank you though.”

The smile on
Hunter’s face faltered almost immediately and Ryan patted him on
the back and laughed, “nice try…”

That first
Chemistry class with Kennedy would stay with him until the day he
died.

She was
incredibly intelligent, not just at chemistry or the other subjects
she would inevitably breeze through, but also in her manner, the
way she spoke, the things she said.

She was witty
and clever and maybe her most refreshing quality was her modesty
and humility.

She wasn’t
stuck up or arrogant about the fact she could answer nearly every
question Mr Cowen asked, just like she clearly wasn’t vain or
shallow or even remotely self-absorbed or egotistical.

Hunter had
met many smart beautiful girls, but none like Kennedy. She had
something
more
.

At that point
he’d truly underestimated what it would take to get her, but slowly
he’d learnt.

He’d spent
the first two years of high school pursuing her when it was
convenient, pretty much during the moments some slutty girl wasn’t
attaching herself to his face.

As he got to
junior year, he realized Kennedy would never be his unless he made
her his one and only priority.

He’d grown
bored of all the other girls, and very slowly, Kennedy became the
only girl he was interested in talking to at parties, the only girl
he’d conveniently bump into on the way out of school.

His mind
backtracked. A memory. Sophomore year. At a house party at
Ryan’s.

He’d stumbled
through the expansive kitchen, which had been bursting with
intoxicated high school students at the time.

Bernice was
on one side of the kitchen with her French foreign exchange
comrades. Playing beer pong with Brooke, Ryan and a few other guys
from the Varsity football team, was Kennedy Blakewood.

Her name made
him feel all jittery inside. The only one that did.

Hunter
remembered how fresh and gorgeous she’d looked. She was laughing as
she aimed her Ping-Pong ball for the cup across the table. Of
course the ball flew effortlessly into the middle cup and the
opposing team cheered as a burly athlete chugged his
drink.

Kennedy was
infectious. The people she surrounded herself with, anyone in her
immediate vicinity was smiling and happy. She seemed flirtatious
without even meaning to be, it was who she was. Girls, boys,
teachers, babies, no one was immune to it. It pulled you in with
overwhelming strength and never let go, never ever loosened its
grip.

Hunter felt a
tap on his shoulder and swung around to see Bernice, her eyes
already bloodshot, her words slurred.

“
Are you
having fun?” she asked in a French accent so terrible Hunter had
wondered if it was real.

He nodded out
of politeness and she took this as an indication to move closer,
pressing her body against his and draping her arms across his
shoulders.

“
I have to go
Bernice, my friends are over there, I’ll see you later maybe…” and
he ducked under her arms and grabbed a cup of beer from the table
before heading over to Ryan and Kennedy.

“
Hey, look
who finally made it!” Ryan hollered when he spotted Hunter,
“Bernice is here, gonna go there twice?” he asked, winking
mischievously.

Hunter
glanced across Ryan’s shoulder at Kennedy but she didn’t seem to
have heard what he’d said. A small part of Hunter wanted her to
hear, just so he could see her reaction.

As the hours
passed, and the mob of students stumbled home drunk or slept in
their cars scattered down Ryan’s street, Hunter flopped down on the
sofa next to a sleepy Kennedy.

Her dress had
worked itself up her thigh and Hunter felt sweaty and shaky all of
a sudden. His heart seemed to be beating at a deafening volume.
Attempting to regain his composure he asked, “So Blakewood, any
guys you’re into here?” trying his utmost to sound as casual as
possible.

Kennedy
smirked at him and then bit her lip gently before taking another
sip of her drink.

That shaky
sweaty feeling passed over Hunter again and his eyes widened. He
shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“
I told you
Campbell, I’m not looking. I’m not a relationship
person.”

“
Neither am
I” he answered, a bit too quickly, “maybe we should be
non-relationship people together sometime?” he winked and grinned
cheekily, back to his usual confident self.

No matter how
determined he was, she always broke through his defences and left
him feel exposed.

Kennedy shook
her head at him, smiling fondly.

Hunter
continued, “you know just because you
want
someone doesn’t mean you have
to be in a relationship with them…”

“
Like that’s
worked so well for you and the four hundred and eight six hearts
you’ve already broken in your lifetime” Kennedy replied, raising
her eyebrows amused.

“
I…I think
I’m falling for you” he started, unsure of where this was coming
from all of a sudden, “I know I’m probably the most untrustworthy
guy ever in your eyes and that you think I’m just trying to use you
like all the other girls, but that couldn’t be further from the
truth”.

His gaze fell
to his hands in his lap, “You’re the first girl I can see myself
being with, the first girl I
want
to be with” He sounded so wasted.

“
Really?
” Kennedy side-glanced at
him, an irresistible smile on her lips, maybe this would be the
moment…

“
I’m not
Bernice, your lines won’t work on me. I’m Kennedy, and you’re
wasted, but not as wasted as you
should
be… come on! More pong!” and
she grabbed Hunter’s hand and they ran drunkenly back to the ping
pong table and it was like Hunter had never said anything, which
was fine by Hunter, because he’d been a little scared as he’d said
it, a little scared he’d actually meant it.

While he got
used to high school girls, and they became boring and predictable,
the enigma of Kennedy Blakewood only grew; she became the only
mystery worth solving.

There was
something so innocent about her, so preserved. Untouched and
pure.

She’d been
asked out hundreds of times, pursued endlessly, serenaded, flooded
with gifts and flowers and wild promises, but she’d never given
in.

It was the
most laborious, demanding competition in the world, the competition
for Kennedy’s heart, and so far, no one had ever won it.

As he tossed
and turned in bed, thinking of what Brooke had told him, he
wondered how had he let this happen.

This girl was
all he’d wanted for so long, why had he given in and been so weak?
A part of him, a growing part, wished that he could erase her from
his mind.

It would be
easier, but Hunter’s competitive nature meant that he had no
choice, no dilemma. There was no question about it; he would keep
going until she was with him. This wasn’t a decision, with time
Hunter had just come to accept that he would be under Kennedy’s
spell forever. He would never be able to move on, never be able to
forget her, never be able to let go until she was his.

Sometimes he
wished her face would fade from his mind, but he had no way to
escape her.

She was
always there.

30.