The Pirate Queen (39 page)

Tobias turned and ran up the hallway. He was calling for Fang.

Dora waited for him to go into his bedroom and slam the door. “That dog disappeared this morning. I let it out to do its business, and it never came back.”

“Smart dog,” said Gwennie.

20

Marcy stoked up the coffee right at bedtime. “Gwennie looked so pretty tonight. Luke too,” she said.

“She’s doing the right thing. Luke’s the best thing that’s come her way in a long time,” said Saphora.

“Want to watch a movie?”

“Maybe I’ll just go to bed.”

“That Dora, she’s a piece of work, isn’t she?”

“As I was pulling out of the drive, the curtains opened upstairs. Tobias stared at me as if I was abandoning him,” said Saphora.

“He’s a smart boy. He’ll rise above Dora and her gypsy life. Don’t you take that on.”

“Tobias didn’t just come out of a bad home into a worse one. Jamie was giving him a future. The only future Dora thinks about is the next boyfriend she’ll snag,” said Saphora.

“You got that right.”

“I hated to agree with Tobias. I’m supposed to give him grownup answers, but everything he said about Mel was right.”

Saphora excused herself. She went upstairs and dressed in her
pajamas. She turned and saw herself in the mirror. The pajamas had faded and frayed at the hem. She was thicker around the middle, having gained some pounds over the summer. She did not care about the pounds or the frayed pajamas. But the thought of crawling into her empty bed made her want to eat. She went outside to brood on the deck.

Johnson squeezed through the gate and ran down the length of the yard in a midnight chase. She caught the mouse at the river’s edge. She must have killed it right away, for she crept into the bushes and disappeared. The moon was flattened, as if pressed between the glass of fog and universe, hazy at the edges. The only light was the den light from below where Marcy sat up watching a movie.

Luke would not be digging in the backyard again. It made sense now why he had been so driven to dig up every square inch of lawn. But when she first found him digging like a maniac, she thought he was a little crazy. Crazy and in love might be close kin, though, now that she thought about it. But she felt so much better about Luke being with Gwennie. If she fell in love with him, it would be like falling in love with her best friend. Gwennie needed Luke’s friendship maybe even more than she needed to fall in love.

Saphora herself needed friends, but the kind who call and check on you when your husband is dying. She knew that tonight Jamie would call and check on her if she could call from heaven. John Mims called her to make sure she was all right. Marcy knew exactly when she needed her. There was only one Marcy in the world though.

She could hear a song beating through the air, soft as moths circulating, and then realized she had left her telephone on the nightstand. She went inside and answered the phone. It was Turner.

“Mama, you’ve got to come to the hospital right now. Bring Gwennie,” he said.

Her heart seemed to leave her and fly away to where Jamie had gone. “Turner, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Not wrong, Mama. Dad’s come awake.”

Saphora ran downstairs but did not remember dressing all over again. But there she was back in jeans and a cotton blouse. “Marcy, Marcy, get up. Get up!” Marcy had fallen asleep on the sofa.

“What on earth?”

“Turner called. It’s Bender. He woke up,” said Saphora.

“Are you sure?”

“He was so sure, Marcy. Excited sure.”

“This is a resurrection. I prayed that power down on him.”

“Whatever it is, I just can’t believe it. My head’s spinning. I can’t wait to see my husband, Marcy.”

“That’s a whole ’nother resurrection. Did you call Gwennie?”

“I’m calling now. They’re out somewhere on a date. Probably down by the marina.”

As it happened, Gwennie and Luke were at the Marina Bistro. They drove and met them at the edge of town. Saphora turned on the inside car light and brought down the window. “Who’s going?” she asked. Gwennie kissed Luke good night and joined her mother and Marcy.

Saphora felt as if she drove in slow motion. She checked the time again as Marcy said, “Slow down or you’ll get a speeding ticket.”

By the time they congregated around Bender’s bed, Turner was holding his hand and Eddie was seated in a chair next to his grandpa’s bed. Bender’s eyes were closed just like before. Saphora felt herself holding back. Maybe since Turner had called he had already slipped into the coma again.

“Daddy,” said Turner, “wake up and see your family.”

Bender opened his eyes. “Saphora.” He took a moment to take her in. “You were the first person I wanted to see,” he said. “Come close.”

Turner changed places with Saphora. She took Bender’s hand. “I can’t believe it” was all she could think to say.

“Turner said I collapsed in church,” he said.

“You did. It was a big scene with the ambulance, Pastor John clearing out the lobby. He’s a good man, John Mims.”

“He is. Can I talk to my wife?” he said to the others without taking his eyes off her.

“Turner, let’s go outside,” said Gwennie. She was on the other side of her daddy’s bed. She kissed him on the cheek. She held her hand out to Eddie. “Come outside and tell Aunt Gwennie when you’re going back to school. Mama, we’ll come back in a few. I’ll call Ramsey.”

“Mama, the nurse says dad’s doctor, Jim Pennington, has been called,” said Turner. “He’s on his way here.”

Marcy followed them out the door too. Eddie was smiling at his grandpa and was the last to go out the door.

Bender squeezed Saphora’s hand. “I’m as weak as a little girl. But you feel good, Saphora.”

“You’ve come back to us,” she said. “I still can’t believe you’re looking at me and talking.”

“I’ve lost time.”

“I’ll catch you up,” she said. But she would not tell him about Jamie or Tobias just yet.

“I mean that I’ve lost time with you, and I don’t want to lose anymore,” he said. “Saphora, I’ve not done right by you.”

“You don’t have to say that.” But she knew he did.

“There are days I can look back on and say that I was no good to any soul on earth.”

She waited.

“I’d guess there have not been a lot of people coming by to see me. While I was in the coma I was keenly aware of two things. One was when you were here, and the other was when my children or grandchildren stopped by my bed.”

She did not ask him about Evelyn.

“You should have left me a long time ago.”

“Bender, don’t say that.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Bender, don’t paint me with such broad strokes. The day you came home to tell me about your cancer, my suitcase was packed.”

“Where were you going?”

“Oriental, I thought.”

He closed his eyes again.

“Bender, I’ll admit that I’ve struggled about us. But love is not a feeling. It’s the actions you take whether or not you feel like it.”

“That’s what I wish for. To show you I love you. I kept praying like I thought Mims would. I kept willing my eyes to open. Then I came awake, and there was Eddie running a car down the side of my bed.”

Saphora laughed at him.

“But it was great. I mean, the sounds that a boy makes at that age are sacred. I have a new list, Saphora.”

“You do?”

“Bender’s list of sacred things.”

“Like what?”

“Mistakes.”

“Mistakes?”

“They’re a wonder. We try so hard not to make them. But our
lives are puddled up with them, like mud holes that kids are drawn to after a rain. And then there’s the everyday chatter of people. You think I’m kidding. I became aware of nurses in the room talking. They were talking about unimportant things. I never knew how important it was to observe mindless chatter. It’s how we know one another.”

“It’s a good list.” She liked him like this, confessional and thoughtful.

“And a woman’s lips on your hand.”

“What woman?”

“You, Saphora. Your lips. You would come in and before you left you would kiss my hand. You’re so tender. The seconds that it took to be aware of a parting kiss taught me a lot about you.”

“Like what?”

“The way you exercise care for everyone around you. The vigil you keep over all of us, our kids and grandkids. When you didn’t want to love me anymore, you just kept doing it.”

“Like this,” she said, lifting his hand and kissing it.

“Yes.” Bender closed his eyes. The slight turning up of his mouth looked a good deal better than the emotionless pallor that had darkened his face during the coma.

Saphora got up out of her chair. She kissed the side of his face.

Bender moaned. It was the kind of moan a man might make who was buried and had finally broken through to the oxygen.

She twisted the top off a bottle of peppermint lotion. She massaged the lotion into his arms.

Tears ran down his face. “Don’t know why I can’t stop crying,” he said.

She cleaned him up and massaged his neck, around his ears. Then she put her mouth very near his face and said, “I love you, Bender Warren.”

A small sob came up from inside of him. It both pained and delighted Saphora to no end. Now he was making her cry. She wiped her eyes. Then she came up onto the bed and laid her head on his chest, but facing him so he could see her. “Make the time stop so we stay like this for a long time.”

“I will ask God just for you, my Saphora.”

Jim Pennington stuck his head into the room. “Okay if I come in?”

“Jim, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” said Bender.

Saphora lifted up and said to Jim, “It’s a miracle.”

Jim sat in Gwennie’s place. “Wonders of the brain, old man,” he said. He checked his chart and then examined him. Saphora did not let go of Bender’s hand the entire time.

Jim sat back in the chair, dropping the stethoscope. He clasped his hands and looked somewhat pensive. “This happens sometimes with terminally ill patients. They’ll suddenly just wake up and be very lucid.”

“Jim, you don’t sound very hopeful,” said Saphora.

“I’m sorry. Consider this time a gift. Bender, you know what I’m talking about,” he said. “Just make the most of this time. Saphora, if you’d like, I’ll step out and invite your kids back in.”

“Yes, please,” she said.

Jim excused himself.

Saphora bent over and pressed her lips into Bender’s hand, still holding tightly to hers. “Don’t leave me again.”

“I don’t know how to stay, Saphora,” he said. “I’m not in charge. This I know.”

Gwennie and Marcy split the cost and stayed overnight in a hotel. Saphora slept all night on the lounge chair next to Bender’s bed. She
would wake up to listen to the heart monitor and then drift back into sleep. She decided hospitals were too cold for real sleeping. It felt like she was watching herself sleep without ever actually entering the deep abandonment of real rest. She woke up and Bender was looking at her.