The Plan (39 page)

“If there's a plan for a man who spent more than a quarter of a century in a dirty, nasty cell, can you see that maybe, just maybe, there might be a plan for you, too?”

Claire loved their seminars. She never tired of hearing Callum speak. Never tired of seeing the crowds and the people he touched. Never tired of meeting the leaders in each community and hearing what they had to offer during their talks. Claire loved every part of those days.

But, what she loved even more than that, were the smaller crowds, the quiet visits to hospitals and orphanages and private homes. In every place they visited, the team, or sometimes just Callum and Claire and Mitch, would seek out those who were truly in need and go to them. They'd find the ones who couldn't come to Callum and they'd bring Callum to them.

As amazing as Callum was in front of a crowd, Claire found him to be even more remarkable during the quiet time he spent with the people who seemed to need him most. He'd sit with an old woman and share a cup of tea with her at her kitchen table. He'd hold the hand of those lying in hospital beds, ripped apart by land mines or dying from AIDS. He'd get out of his chair and roll around the floor of an orphanage, while all the little children would touch his stumps in wonder and then, once they became used to him, would climb all over him or play kickball and dodgeball with him.

Callum would joke that he thought the kids were trying to knock him down like a bowling pin, but Claire knew they could relate to him in a way they'd never been able to relate to anyone before.

The first few times they visited a hospital, Claire struggled. There were so many beautiful children struggling with sadness beyond their years. It broke Claire's heart to know they had no home. She, too, wanted to get down on the ground and play with them, but something always stopped her. How would she be able to play with these children, hold them, hug them, and not wish desperately for her own? The thought of kissing the head of another little girl, who wasn't Ella or Lily, was almost too much for Claire's heart to bear.

Callum would glance at her, compassionately, across the room, as children pushed him over and giggled on the floor next to him, and smile, his eyes conveying an understanding that he recognized her aching and was proud of her that she'd been strong enough to join him today.

By the third orphanage, Claire could barely stand it, not the pain of missing her kids, but the desire to be on the ground with them, like Callum was. She couldn't resist picking up the baby who reached out to her from his crib or comforting the toddler who wouldn't stop crying.

Claire was a mom. She might not have children living in her house anymore, but the love she had for little ones still lived in her heart.

She knew Callum noticed the shift when she began to interact with the children. He'd laugh and smile at her when she'd join in on the kickball games in the courtyard.

“Hey!” he yelled once, when she kicked a particularly hard ball in his direction. “Are you trying to knock me down, too?”

Claire had laughed at him, with him. It felt so good to laugh, along with all the children who were laughing, too.

She missed her babies, every second of every day. But she also felt herself healing a little bit more, every time she pulled a child onto her lap or braided the hair of a little girl or gave a walker to a little boy who, before now, could only crawl across the floor.

They weren't her babies, but they were still special, still in need of tremendous love. And, if she could provide that for them, even for a moment in time, she'd do so with all she had in her.

Every child deserved to be loved. And Claire knew, especially now that she no longer had her own children, she had an abundance of love to give.

“What's wrong?” Callum said, the minute he entered Claire's hotel room and saw the expression on her face.

She shook her head, as if to say, “Nothing,” but the sob that followed was a clear indication that wasn't true.

“Come on, love,” Callum said, riding his chair over to her, and putting his hand on her back. “What's going on?”

Claire wiped at her tears and turned her laptop screen to Callum. He began to read the opened email.

“Wow,” he said, when he had finished it. “I'd say they're not happy.”

“You think?” Claire said sarcastically, though she certainly wasn't in a joking mood.

“What prompted this?”

“I sent them an email when we got back from Europe. I thought telling them about us was the right thing to do. I tried to say it as carefully as possible. I knew it would hurt them, but I tried to do it as gently as I could.”

Claire had sent Jack's parents an email sharing with them her relationship with Callum. She felt she owed it to Bill and Nancy to let them know she'd met someone, that she was in love and finally finding some happiness after the tragedy. Though she never thought they'd be thrilled about it, she hadn't anticipated this angry, visceral reaction.

“Your in-laws sure don't mince words, do they?” Callum asked.

“They accused me of never loving Jack!” Claire said, a sob escaping her again. “Of finally being free of the burden of a family!”

She put her hands to her face and began to cry again.

“I thought you said your father-in-law was usually kind,” Callum said.

Claire nodded, her face still covered.

“This letter doesn't sound too kind.”

Claire took a deep breath and grabbed a tissue from the nearby box. She wiped her eyes again and blew her nose.

“I'm sure he wasn't the one who wrote this. To be honest, he might not even know she sent it. He might not even know about you. Knowing her, she probably never even told him.”

Callum reread the email, inhaled deeply and then blew his breath out forcefully.

“Okay, then,” he said. “What are we going to do about it?”

“Do
about it?” Claire asked, blowing her nose again. “What is there to do about it?”

Callum chuckled at the fear he saw pop up in her face. “I mean, what are we going to do to calm down your mother-in-law?”

“I don't think there's any chance of calming her down. She feels I should be in mourning for the rest of my life, which, to her, means me not having a life.”

“Well, that's ridiculous.”

“Try telling her that.”

Callum looked like he was about to speak, then paused.

“I think I will,” he finally said.

“What?
Oh, my gosh, you can't.”

“Why not? Are you afraid I'll go in, guns blazing, and tell them off?”

Claire paused. “I don't know.”

“Oh, come on, Claire. You know me better than that,” Callum scolded. “Of course I wouldn't do that. And I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, either.”

“So, what are you thinking?”

“They live in West Virginia, right?”

Claire nodded.

“Where are we going to be speaking in two weeks?” Callum asked.

“Oh, no,” Claire said, uneasy about where Callum was going with this train of thought.

“Oh, yes,” he said. “Let's invite them to our seminar. Though I wouldn't ask your mother-in-law, if I were you. I'd go straight to your father-in-law. Can you call him when she's not around?”

“He still works part-time at his law firm.”

“There you go. Call him there. Explain the situation. It would be better for him to hear your voice on the phone than for you to put it in an email. Plus, he can't forward an email to his wife if there's no email to forward. Explain the situation to him and tell him you'd really like for them to come. Tell him you miss them, would like to spend some time with them and, most importantly, don't go too much into your relationship with me. Instead, why don't you tell them how much hearing me, that first night, really helped you?”

“So, you want me to give you credit,” Claire said, raising her eyebrows.

“Of course
I want you to give me credit!” Callum said, laughing. “Who deserves more credit than me? And, don't you dare say Gia, because, though she's wonderful, she doesn't kiss you the way I do.”

“I should hope not,” Claire said. “Okay, so I'll call Bill and ask for them to come hear you speak.”

“Yes. Tell them you've arranged for the tickets to be at the door and that, on Saturday night, after the day-long session, you'd like to take them out to dinner.”

“And then I spring you on them?”

“Well, in a manner of speaking,” Callum said. “But, by the time we have dinner, I'll have already won them over.”

Claire raised an eyebrow. “You're very cocky.”

“I prefer to say I'm confident,” Callum said, with a wink.

“What if they won't come at all? To the seminar, I mean.”

“They will.”

“You did read this email, right?” Claire asked, gently pushing the laptop closer to Callum.

“She's in pain, Claire. She's not really angry with you. She's angry with the world. She lost her child. Her grandchildren. She doesn't know how to cope with that and so she's lashing out at you because she doesn't know where else to put her anger. She's no different than all of the people we meet every weekend. She just happens to be related to you.”

“She's related to Jack,” Claire said stubbornly. “She's not my relative.”

“Claire,” Callum said gently. “She's related to you. She's your husband's mom. She's your children's grandmother. You might not always like her, but she and Bill are really the only family you have left. You don't want to burn that bridge.”

“She's the one who's burned it,” Claire said, with a pout.

“And you're the one who's going to be the bigger person and mend it,” Callum said, his voice stern.

Claire stared at Callum. She wasn't thrilled with him at the moment. She didn't want to mend bridges. She wanted to say, “I don't regret the bridges I've burned; I just regret certain people weren't on those bridges when I burned them.” But, she didn't.

Instead, she reluctantly saw his point.

“This sucks.”

“It totally sucks,” Callum agreed.

“I shouldn't be the one who has to try to fix this. She's the one who's been cruel to me.”

“I know.”

“But I still have to try to fix it?” Claire asked.

“You do. Well, I guess you don't have to. You're not
obligated
to fix it. But I think you know it's the right thing to do. Besides, remember,
love, forgiveness isn't about the other person. It's about you. You don't want to end up bitter like her. You don't want to let this anger grow in you. You're the one who'll feel the most pain.”

“Sometimes I hate you.”

“You do?” Callum said, surprised.

“I hate that you're so wise and forgiving and you expect me to be the same. I'm very happy to just hate her, too.”

“You don't hate her or me and you know it. And she doesn't hate you,” Callum said. “You can do this, Claire.”

Claire shrugged. “Okay, then. I guess you should leave the room so I can call my father-in-law,” she said, glancing at the clock.

“And tell him you love them and have missed them terribly.”

“Now you're pushing it,” Claire grumbled, as she leaned in to kiss Callum on the lips. “You'd better leave before I lose my nerve.”

Callum turned his chair toward the door.

“I love you, Claire.”

“I love you, too,” Claire said, as Callum left the room. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her cell phone off the desk and began to dial.

•  •  •

Claire nervously played with her napkin on the table, as she took deep breaths.

“Will you sit still?” Callum asked. “You're going to make me nervous, too.”

“Okay,” Claire said, quieting her hands for a moment, before she began to, once again, play with the napkin.

“I don't know why you're so worried. They showed up for both days of the seminar. I didn't get to spend much time with them, but they didn't look miserable to be there.”

“I know.”

“And you spent a little bit of time with them, right?”

“Yes.” Claire sighed. She'd been thankful when Bill had told her he thought coming to the seminar was a great idea and he'd do his best
to convince Nancy. On the call, he'd said he missed her a great deal and, by the end of it, Claire was pretty certain he had no idea his wife had sent the angry email to Claire and Claire felt it best to not mention it.

No need to stir the pot.

To Claire's surprise, Bill called her a day later to say both of them would be happy to attend and were looking forward to spending some time with her. Claire had resisted the urge to say, “I doubt that.”

Claire had been by the ticket counter when her in-laws arrived on Friday evening. She'd given both of them big hugs and, though Bill's embrace was warmer, her mother-in-law did reluctantly hug her back.

“You look great,” Bill had said, holding Claire at arm's length to get a good look at her. While Nancy hadn't said the same thing, she did seem to nod when Bill said it.

It wasn't much, but Claire would take it.

She hadn't talked to them since they'd arrived, but she'd kept an eye on them from a distance. It was hard to tell, from her vantage point, what they thought about everything. Claire had noticed both of them crying at times, which was understandable. Callum was very moving to hear. Most people cried, at least a little, when he spoke.

She was curious to hear their impression of the event. But, more importantly, and what she was most nervous about, was she wanted them to meet Callum and to approve of him.

No, more than that, she wanted them to love him.

She didn't know why that was important to her, but it was.