The Plan (45 page)

“Shut up,” Claire said, grabbing the second stack from Gia's hand.

“Oh, no. I'm done shutting up. I have something to say and you're going to hear it.”

“This is none of your business,” Claire said, her voice suddenly cool and steady.

“None of my
business?”
Gia nearly shouted. “Oh, so it's my business when you can't get out of bed because you've lost your entire family and I move into your house and literally spoon-feed you and it's my business when you fall drunk into a pool and I have to leave my date to come pick up your wet sorry ass and it's my business when you've left a man you deeply love and need a shoulder to cry on, not to mention someone to help you pack up your house and
move,
but it's none of my
business
when I see you're breaking the heart of this man? When I see how unfair you're being to him? Is that what you're telling me? I should stand up for you, but not anyone else?”

“That's exactly what I'm telling you.”

“I can listen to the misery in your life and be the person to pick up the pieces, but I can't call you on your crap.”

“Gia!”

“You know what I think? I think you're a coward,” Gia spat.

“A coward? You've
got
to be kidding me.”

“Oh, no. I am
definitely
not kidding. You're a
coward.
You're scared to give yourself completely to someone again. You're scared Callum might ask more of you than you're willing to give.”

“I did give myself to him. Completely,” Claire said defensively.

“Oh, really?” Gia picked up another stack of papers in her other hand. “How completely would that be exactly?”

“That's different.”

“Um, maybe in your little Claire world it's different, but not in the world the rest of us live in. You know what I think?”

“No, but I have a feeling you're about to tell me.”

“I think it's not that you can't have any more children. I think you don't want any more children.”

Claire felt like she'd been slapped.

“Gia, you know that's not true. Being a mom was the best part of my life. I'd kill to do it all over again.”

“Well, last I heard, the doctor said you couldn't carry a baby inside of you. Nothing was said about adoption. It's not like you and Callum couldn't afford to adopt,” Gia said, glancing over at
The New York Times
still sitting on the kitchen table.

“You didn't see the interview Callum gave. He made a point of saying physically, he's able to have children,” Claire said.

“So?”

“So, I hate to say it, but there aren't a whole lot of things Callum is physically able to do—not like the average person, anyway. You should've seen him. He was so
proud,
as if he felt like a whole and complete man because he'd be able to have his own child. He wants to have his own biological baby.”

“Well, we don't always get what we want, now do we?” Gia asked. “You should know that better than anyone.”

Claire sighed.

“And,” Gia continued, “if you'd spent even two minutes reading these emails, you'd be a little bit more clear on what it is Callum
actually
wants, instead of just
thinking
you know what it is.”

“I do know what he wants,” Claire said, but her voice didn't sound as certain anymore.

“No, I don't think you do,” Gia said, putting down the papers she still held in her hands. “You once told me the two of you understood each other completely, but now I'm thinking he knew you, but you never had any idea who he was. You know what you want to believe, what you've let yourself believe. But I can promise you, after reading all of these, you'll realize you've never been more wrong in your life.”

Claire's shoulders sagged. Gia grabbed her purse from the chair.

“I'm going to leave now and I'm going to hope you'll stop being so selfish and read his emails. Each and every one of them, Claire. He had to have spent hours writing these. No, I take that back. He must've spent
days
writing these, because the poor man can only type with one hand! You owe it to him to read them.”

With that, Gia threw the strap of her bag over her shoulder and walked out the door, still in her pajamas.

Claire stood for what seemed like forever, staring at the stack of papers on her table. Seeing them, like this, piled high, she felt a sense of guilt. Callum could've written two or three more books in the amount of time it had to have taken him to write all of these letters to her.

As stubborn as she was, Claire had to admit Gia had a point. She did owe it to Callum to at least
read
them. Even if they did nothing to change her mind, even if she still felt he was better off with a woman who could bear his child, she owed it to him to read what he'd painstakingly taken the time to write.

She went over to the fridge and fixed herself a snack of cheese and crackers and fruit, sat down at the table and lifted the first page from the pile.

As she began to read, Claire felt a sense of guilt well up inside her, for not doing this sooner. But more than guilt, page after page filled her with the same growing desire she'd felt for Callum when she first realized she loved him. He hadn't changed. His feelings for her hadn't wavered after all this time. He loved her and he made it perfectly clear, over and over and over again, that if it was only the two of them, for the rest of their lives, he'd still count himself the luckiest man on the earth.

Claire realized, as she began to smile with the recognition of how great his love was for her. She couldn't keep doing this. To herself. To him. She needed no one but Callum.

And, it seemed, he needed no one but her.

The team was in Nashville. Claire briefly debated driving there, but after realizing it would be at least a ten-hour drive, she opted to buy herself a plane ticket.

Fifteen hours later, she was in her seat, on the runway, heading to Tennessee.

She hadn't told Callum she was coming. She felt it would be best to just show up. Part of her wanted to surprise him, but most of her felt she needed the time it would take to get to Nashville to gather her thoughts and decide what she was going to say and the way in which she planned to apologize. And how she was going to beg him to take her back, despite how she'd treated him.

His emails had pleaded with her to give their relationship another chance. She knew he wanted her. But what if he'd reached the end of his rope? No one, not even Callum, could keep up that desire forever. What if, after the last email he sent her, he'd decided he was done.
Wouldn't that serve her right?

She couldn't let herself dwell on that thought for long, though. She had too much else on her mind. She was so nervous as the plane reached its cruising altitude, she found her palms were sweating and she had to wipe them on her pants, numerous times.

The only person she'd contacted last night had been Wyatt. She hadn't even called Gia, for no other reason than she didn't need an “I told you so” at the moment. Gia would have plenty of time to gloat later and Claire would have to let her.

Wyatt had answered the phone on the first ring.

“Yello!” he'd said, his drawl as thick as molasses.

“Wyatt, listen to me. It's Claire, and if you're anywhere near Callum, don't let on it's me.”

“Well, howdy there, Helen,” Wyatt said, enunciating very carefully. “You missing me, baby doll? Didn't get enough of good ole' Wyatt last time I was in Tejas?”

“Oh, brother,” Claire said.

“I ain't got a brother, my little lamp-chop. My mama knew she hit pay dirt the moment she gave birth to me.”

“Okay, get over yourself,” Claire said. “Can you please go somewhere so we can talk privately? I made a big mistake and I need your help fixing it.”

•  •  •

The crowd was slowly making their ways to their cars when Claire reached the auditorium in Nashville. Wyatt was waiting for her at the door. She'd texted him from the taxi and told him when she'd be arriving.

“How long is the line?” she asked him, after a quick hug.

“Long,”
Wyatt said, drawing on the word. “He's going to be busy for a bit.”

“We really need to find a way to limit that,” Claire said. “It takes too much out of him.”

“We?” Wyatt said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, we,” Claire said. “At least, I hope it's ‘we.' ”

“I do, too, darlin',” Wyatt said, putting his hand on Claire's arm and steering her in the direction that would take her away from Callum and all the people waiting to see him. Wyatt and the others hadn't been happy with her decision to leave—not just Callum, but the team. They'd become a family and they'd all deserved better. She'd hurt those she loved. She hoped that she could make it up to the rest of them, too.

“You can wait in here,” Wyatt said, opening the door to a small conference area. “I'll bring him to you as soon as he's done.”

“Thanks.”

“I'll go get you something to eat, too, and some water.”

“Oh, no. Don't bother. I'm not hungry,” Claire said, waving him off.

“I
said,
I'm going to get you some food and some water,” Wyatt said sternly. “As I told you, he's going to be a while. I can't have you passing out from weakness before he gets here. Plus, you're gonna be bored. Eating will give you something to do.”

“I'll be fine,” Claire said. “But food would be nice.” She realized, she hadn't eaten much of anything since the cheese and crackers yesterday.

Was that only yesterday? It seemed like years ago since she'd read Callum's emails.

“Are you sure I can't tell Alison you're here? I know she'd love to keep you company. She's really missed you.”

“No, not yet,” Claire said, though she'd missed Alison terribly, too. “I don't want to see anyone until I see Callum, okay?”

“Whatever you want, darlin',” Wyatt said with a grin as he left to get her food.

•  •  •

When Wyatt said Callum would be a while, he hadn't been exaggerating. An hour and a half later, Claire was done with the hot dog, fries and cotton candy he'd brought her. “Auditorium food,” Wyatt had said with a shrug as he put it in front of her. She was literally twiddling her thumbs, wondering what to do while she waited.

How much longer?
she asked, texting Wyatt.

Not much now. About twenty more people,
he wrote back.

Claire nearly moaned.
Twenty more people?
Even if they only took one minute apiece, which was unlikely, Callum wouldn't be here for almost half an hour.

She picked up her phone, which was nearly dead from all the time
she'd been spending surfing the Internet and scrolled through her Facebook newsfeed again.

Forty-five minutes later, the door opened. Claire could hear Wyatt whispering to Callum, “Just one more person. This lady has been hounding me to see you. Driving me nuts, actually. Clinging to me like cellophane.”

“Okay,” she heard Callum say. “I get the picture.”

Wyatt opened the door wide so Callum could roll inside. Claire stood as he entered.

If Claire could have bottled the expression on Callum's face when he saw her, she would have and then saved the bottle so she could open it whenever she was feeling blue.

The surprise, the joy, the love, the tremendous and overwhelming
love,
was unmistakable on his face. His beautiful, handsome, glorious face.

Claire barely noticed Wyatt closing the door behind Callum as he left.

Claire felt the tears well up in her eyes. She'd cried so often over the past few years, she was surprised to realize she had any fluid left in there. But these tears were of joy—and some sadness over how stupid she'd been.

“Is it too late to take it all back?” she asked Callum, her voice softer and meeker than she'd intended.

Claire saw the tears begin to fill Callum's eyes, too.

“No, love,” he said, with a shake of his head.

That was all it took for Claire to rush to him and drop to her knees in front of his chair. He took her into his embrace, and she rested her head against his chest, as she began to sob.

“I'm so sorry. I am so sorry,” she said.

“It's okay,” he said, running his lips along her hair. “It's okay. I'm just so glad you came back. You are back, aren't you? I'm not dreaming?”

“I should've never left. I was so stupid. You were right. I'm so sorry.”

She pulled away from him to see his face. From her knees, she had to look up at him, ever so slightly. He wasn't crying as she was. His smile was as bright as the sun.

“I love you,” Claire said. “I love you so much. Nothing was right when we weren't together. I tried so hard to make it okay, but it wasn't.”

“Are you kidding?” Callum asked. “How could anything be right if we aren't together? We're meant to be together.”

Claire nodded. She felt exactly the same way.

“I still can't have children,” she said sadly.

“And that still doesn't matter to me,” Callum said. “Listen to me. When I did that interview, I hadn't met you. That was the biggest dream I could dream at the time. I didn't know you'd come into my life and bring a bigger dream than I'd ever imagined.”

“No,” Claire said. “You said it 'cause you meant it. I want to give you a family, but I can't do that.”

“If we decide, together, we want a family, we can adopt. And, if we decide,
together,
we don't, that's okay, too,” Callum said, running his hand down Claire's hair. “What is not okay…will
never
be okay…is spending one more day without you.”