The Power of Forgetting (27 page)

‘Who do they
work for?’

‘Just listen.’
She said, ‘lean close to Me Jared. It hurts to speak. I’ll whisper
to you.’

I moved round
and gently hugged her, so that her head rested on my shoulder.

‘It is like
this…. We are all the experiment; but some proved hard to break
into than others. I was willing that made it easy. Oliver and Davey
are impossible. Marcia is only represented by a physical form. If
you see one kill it! The others… I cannot be sure of anything. But
they must all be destroyed. All of them. I want you to destroy this
one. And then come and find us. You have to keep this form alive
just long enough to get close to the new base they have built our
here. Then ask Davey to break this…. House, apart.’

‘Janey… I’m so
sorry.’

‘No…no. there’s
more. You and I have been conditions to respond to each other’s
voices. There was a trigger that was used for all the commands that
they tried to get us to follow. But something wasn’t how it should
be. Alexander… Mr Rimmington wants what you have got Jared. You are
they only one who can complete his research.’

‘But I’m no
scientist.’

She coughed
then; a little clear liquid stained her lips. It turned a little
bluish like ink.

‘No… no… that
is why they wanted you! Don’t you see? It was not what you knew….’
she coughed then, ‘Oh my….’

‘Janey?’ I
turned her face towards me. Her skin was pale with a little bluish
staining on the lips. She was breathing though. What did this mean?
I had no way to tell. She had been about to tell me something.

‘I think she
fainted; or something.’ I made a helpless gesture to Joe who came
through the curtain first.

Out in the main
space I needed to sit down really badly. Davey had gone in to be
with her. Marcia was eyeing me in a way that meant here was
something on the horizon.

‘Tell me in the
morning?’ she prodded me into movement. I went back to my pod. It
was only a few moments later that I lay inside my sleeping bag,
exhausted. I felt cold now. And grateful for the warmth fell
asleep.

There was a
little golden powder on my hands. It was like pulverised gemstones.
Something mineral and scented; the kind of thing that girls put on
their faces on a night out...

I sat up
suddenly; 'Janey!.' my head throbbed, and I sat dazed for a moment.
I licked my lips. Dry feeling in the mouth, cramped left arm where
I had been laid in an odd position. I listened. No one was
about.... Well, if they were, they weren't making any noise.

I went to the
main tent space. No one here either. In my strangely void of recall
state; I edged in the kitchen area. I made a huge mug of tea,
leaving the bag in. Just then there was movement.

Joe was coming
from the medical bay, as I went to investigate where everyone else
had got to.

'She wants to
talk.' Joe pushed me in and closed the flap.

'Hi.' was all
she said.

She was like a
beautiful painting made of gold. Her skin had a sheen that was like
the mineral powder on my hands. I sat down. I felt helpless and
bewildered. She lay very still and looked up at me blinking.

'It's alright.'
she had a voice that sounded parched and cracked. I held out my
cup.

'I don't know
if it will do any good.' she tried to raise herself up.

'Let me.' I
left the mug on the bench nearby and very slowly eased her up.

'Thank
you....'

'Tea?
Janey.'

'Yes.'

I sipped it
twice and blew on it. Cool enough. I held it to her lips. She took
some and sighed. Then drank some more.

'Now you.' she
said.

So I drank a
little more myself. I offered it to her again. She took in the
liquid slowly, a bit like a kitten lapping from a saucer of
milk.

We looked at
each other. She spoke very softly, but now it was, if still a bit
wispy and dry sounding; 'Well Jared, have they found the place
yet?'

'The map
reference?' I was thinking that I should go and tell the others
when she spoke again: 'Marcia has it too. But you must beware of
Him. He wants you because you and I have the power over nature. You
can touch the earth....' she blinked, and then closed her eyes. She
opened them again a moment later. 'You can touch the earth; and
find the essence of all things. Rocks, minerals, trees and plants.
And even perhaps animals.'

'What about
people?'

'Ah! There is
that little matter of freewill. Do not control, do not poison, and
do not corrupt. Nature turns against you. She is like a very strong
Lioness. She is wild! She is passionate, and she will scratch you
unless you make your peace with her!'

'What do you
mean?' I was trying to work out if the wound had started to heal.
She took my hand. 'When you get home, ask Auntie Zee.'

'What?'

'Davey is not
like you. You do have answers. Don't ask what, but how.... go and
see her; because she is one of our own.'

At first I
thought that the pain had made her ramble. But then considered the
woman we used to visit as little children. She gave us herb drinks
and Honey on home baked bread; and lived no more than half a mile
from our parents’ house. Her garden was lovely and warm. And the
bees had seemed as huge as small birds.

'Auntie Zee?'
I'd not thought of her in years.

'Yes.'

'I'll go and
see her then.' I told Janey; but simply because she asked it of me.
She smiled and breathed out long and began sinking into sleep
again.

'Janey?'

'Yes my dear
Jay?'

'What is
happening?'

'You may have
just saved this body.... I think; no, I'm sure you have.' and
somehow her face seemed different. Around the mouth and eyes, a
normal flesh colour was returning. I sat with her and held her
hand. And like a flower opens so slowly several minutes later there
was a visible difference in her colour. That brittle sheen was
fading like the sun obscured by rain clouds. And then the rain
falls, to soak into the parched earth.

'Would you like
more tea?' I couldn't think of what else might help.

'Yes please.'
her voice sounded stronger too, '-but only if you make it.'

'Huh? Alright.'
I went and made two more cups: strong and with plenty of milk. Joe
looked up as I crossed the main area again.

'The others
will be back from a beach sweep in about ten minutes or so.' he
said. I noticed he was wearing the main head set.

This time Janey
sat up. And sipped holding the cup I passed to her.

'There is
something that you must do for Me.' she regarded me with one of her
really serious expressions.

'Tell me.'

'Remove the
black box.... It's under the skin.'

'Where?'

'On a woman,
it's usually in the hip area. Where there is plenty of padding.'
she grinned, 'should be easy to find.'

'Does it still
hurt?'

'A bit.'

'The wound I
mean.'

'It's starting
to heal.'

'Oh,' I was at
a loss, 'You want us to get this.... Black box out?'

Just then Joe
came in to see her; 'She mentioned that before,' he said, 'but I
thought it was just worn outside.'

'Can it be
done?' I asked him.

'Well yes. But
we have to be careful; maybe later. Hmm...'

'No.' Janey
seemed tearful then, 'It must be now! You have the equipment to
read it don’t you? It can be scanned or plugged in on a normal
computer cable.'

'I'm not
certain....' Joe looked at me.

'Does it mean
they'll think this copy has expired; if we take it out?'

'As soon as no
contact is made with the subject; then a signal is sent that makes
the box inoperative within two hours. The technicians handle them
with erm...plastic gloves. It is probably in the fat on the top of
the left buttock. I've seen it done. They are easy to remove.'

'But there is
no analgesic that works.'

'It is better
this way;' said Janey in a shaky voice, 'the last reading will be
of pain. They will see a flat line…. and this double is officially
caput.'

'Will it affect
you... I mean you back there?'

'Yes. I'm in
the lounge area now. I'll leave and go to the ladies room. Just a
moment. There.... I'm in.'

'You are
there?' I asked; quite unable to imagine this double
consciousness.

'Yes.' she
looked at me fully, 'I have to officially "expire".'

'How will that
change you in there?' I wasn't about to do anything that hurt her.
Joe opened his drawer of surgical instruments. He put on gloves and
handed me a hard plastic looking stick.

'She needs to
bite down on this.' to me, and then to Janey: 'Turn over slowly.'
Janey started to turn onto her side with my help. The right side.
The injury was on the left around the waist area. We took it nice
and slowly. She winced with pain once more, and tears sprang to her
eyes.

‘How long do we
have from when it comes out?’ Joe was calm, soothing.

‘Realistically,
up to Ninety minutes. The drop off is quite steep after that. Most
fail within the next quarter of an hour.’ Janey was making an
effort to be sciency and confident for my sake; but I could see the
beading of sweat on her forehead. She was completely real. With her
soul….no one except a person completely familiar with her, could
ever know the difference. The mind was still hers, and in some ways
she was more like the Janey I really loved than she had been for a
long time. The thought stung me with sadness; but I ignored that
for now. The immediate attempt, that was to be made, to save her
from being invaded, I assumed by another mind; was what made this
curious experience worth paying attention to, and making mental
notes of for later.

I would not
forget the tightness of her grip as she squirmed against the knife.
Joe got tweezers; ‘Okay Janey; just one more moment. I can see the
edge of it now.’

She stared at
me with pleading eyes. Tears squeezed out a moment later; and then
with one tug it was out. There was a dull ting in the metal dish.
Then Joe taped the cut closed and covered it.

‘I’ll take this
straight to Marcia and Oliver,’ he indicated with his free hand,
‘She can stay there for a little while, and then she can be moved
to the pod. I’ll come back as soon as we’ve done all the
scans.’

She was still
crying a little as Joe left us there. I detached my hands from hers
and rubbed them.

‘Oh dear
Jared…. I forgot; I’m strong. Is it bad?’

‘No; just
painful for a moment. Come on; let’s get you more comfortable.’ I
got another pillow and found an extra blanket.

‘Is there any
Honey?’ she suddenly asked.

‘There must
be.’ I felt her forehead. And then the pulse on her neck.

‘It’s good. Top
quality.’ She said moving slightly, ‘circulatory system, the
works.’

‘I…I don’t
think of your body like that.’

She was silent,
her eyes moving round my face; ‘You don’t do you. You think
something else. Something that is quite different to the clinical
separateness we are all used to.’ She tried to move again, ‘this
one is for you.’

‘What do you
mean?’ I cautiously sat in the seat next to her and held her
hand.

‘You were
always in the under soil of my nature…. Jay. It is the physical
form. It isn’t perfect but you have brought it back….’

‘I didn’t do
anything.’ she really was sending my mind round in circles this
time.

‘You are doing
it right now.’

‘Now?’

‘Yes…’ her eyes
closed. Her breaths were longer more relaxed; ‘I can’t hear that
faint buzzing sound any more. It’s gone.’

‘The black
box?’

‘Yes.’

‘You said about
Honey?’

‘Yes…. the
taste of it. Sweet…. healing. Can I have some when I wake up please
Jared?’

‘Yes…. of
course my dear. Would you like it spread on something?’

She opened her
eyes again; ‘Your touch. That is how. You can change things that
way. Because you have nature set below your human side. It is not
controlling you. You command it….’

‘Janey. I have
no idea what you are saying.’ I leaned a little closer as her voice
dropped and she began to mumble in a half dreaming state; ‘I saw
the sky like fire. And I saw you standing there…. You were very
still. You always are when you are really finding the best thoughts
to think. So fine; so brave; so strong…. I Love You…. Love…. You….’
her eyelids flickered a little then, and her lips parted. The
colour had quite returned to her face, and she was altogether like
the sweet girl I knew best. She pursed her lips slightly in her
sleep, and then relaxed completely. Somewhere at a distance I heard
voices. Human voices. She was not human. But was it so? Is the
soul, or the mind that inhabits the form, that which makes us
human? This one was mine. She said it. I sat very still pondering
all this. And I still held her hand; and as if water flowed through
my fingertips. I felt some essence flow into her. I waited until it
was shallow water in my mind…. And then waited five minutes more
before I gently detached myself, and went to see the others.

We had found
something quite odd. A marker that none of the five of us could
work out. Marcia pointed to the screen as Davey found the
place.

‘What do you
think it is?’ she drummed a pattern on the bench. Davey was very
still, as was Oliver. Oliver hadn’t said anything to me since last
night. But he is watching me as the others look at the computer
screen. We are in the small radio room. ‘Signal strength is up a
little.’ Davey checked the figure and wrote it in the log. He
glanced at me. ‘How is she now?’

‘Honestly?’ I
hold out both hands.