The Power of the Heart: Finding Your True Purpose in Life (34 page)

BOOK: The Power of the Heart: Finding Your True Purpose in Life
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 ISABEL ALLENDE

Forgiveness is something very personal that comes from a place of love and a place where you are at peace with yourself. I think it’s something that happens so intimately, so profoundly, that you cannot force it. You cannot reason with forgiveness, it is in the heart. When you reconcile with your own heart, you forgive everything.

 MAYA ANGELOU

Forgiveness is everything. When I think of forgiveness, I am brought to weep with gratitude that it exists.

Forgiveness is an act for yourself more than for someone else. It’s for
your
spiritual well-being and physical health. It is a process aimed at unblocking all the roads to and from your heart, so that love and wisdom can once again flow freely.

You need not let the person you are forgiving back into your life. What’s more, that person need not even know that you have forgiven him or her. Or perhaps they cannot know, because they have passed away. But it is never too late to forgive someone in your heart.

 MARCI SHIMOFF

One of the most inspiring stories about forgiveness is about a Tibetan Buddhist monk who was imprisoned by the Chinese government for twenty years. And during that time he was mistreated
very often, beaten by his guards. When he was released, he came to America and was interviewed by the Dalai Lama, who asked him, “When did you feel that you were in the most danger?” The monk said, “I was in the most danger when I thought I would lose my ability to feel compassion and forgiveness for my guards.”

To Shimoff, Nelson Mandela is both a great man and a human archetype of forgiveness. Before being elected as South Africa’s first black president in 1994, he spent more than twenty-seven years as a political prisoner of the white apartheid government, much of it on Robben Island, a hell on earth where guards beat and otherwise abused prisoners. Mandela’s incoming mail was censored and restricted so he barely had contact with his family, but because he could not and would not live without love, Mandela chose to forgive his guards and feel love in his heart for them. He engaged them in conversation, taught them history, and taught one guard that the more you give away, the more you receive.

Because he forgave them, the guards found it difficult to mistreat Mandela, so the prison management had to keep replacing his guards. His freedom was taken from him, but he chose to be free from resentment and anger. As president, Mandela stayed in touch with several warders.

Most of us will never have to go through that kind of brutal experience, yet are we able to feel compassion and forgiveness for the smaller slights, betrayals, or discouragements that happen in our lives?

 MAYA ANGELOU

When you are present, be totally present. Bring all your good to it. Then, I think that you are allowed to see the power of forgiveness.

Once you can genuinely forgive, you will be able to let your rancorous feelings slip off your shoulders like a heavy burden, and free the love inside yourself. You will be able to breathe a sigh of relief and continue with a clean slate.

 MICHAEL BECKWITH

Not only are the toxins released from their soul, they discover a dimension of their own being that is so full of light that they have never known was there before. I don’t even have the words for it. Forgiveness is just a powerful way of being in the world.

Is there someone in your life right now whose behavior has kept you hostage for some time? Someone who keeps drowning out the conversation you are trying to have with your heart? Is this not the perfect moment to rid yourself of your anger and your resentment?

The suggestions below may be helpful to you.

• It is up to you to forgive someone. You can choose not to relive the pain but to go on with your life. Nobody else can choose for you, and in the end nobody will benefit more from that choice than you will.

• Be aware of the impact your anger and resentment are having on your life. Bear in mind that this impact will always be greater than the irreversible past experience.

• By forgiving, you allow yourself to be happy again and to goj on with your life. Try to nurture love and compassion for the other in your heart.

• Try to view the situation from the other person’s perspective, however difficult that may be. You are not excusing the other person’s behavior, but, like you, he or she is a soul on Earth.

• Take the time for forgiveness. You need not necessarily forgive someone today. Tomorrow is another day. It is never too late for forgiveness.

• Do not linger in the past, but try to shift your focus to the present moment. The past is over and you cannot turn back the clock.

CONTEMPLATION

To Make Right

This ancient forgiveness practice is a path to peace. You can use it to resolve problems or conflicts within yourself or anger at people who have hurt you.

Write or say these four phrases: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

You can say these inwardly, for yourself. You can say them for someone from whom you are estranged; you can say them for someone who has died.

Sit with these four phrases in your heart. Now, feel these wishes for a person whom you need to forgive. “I forgive you. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

Sit for five or ten minutes a day sending these wishes out to a person or situation. After several days, or a week or two, you will feel an inner shifting of emotion, a lightening of heavy emotions, and a lifting of your spirit.

16. A Civilization with Heart

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.

—DALAI LAMA

Your heart is the gateway to a higher level of consciousness, that of love and wisdom. When you follow your heart, your world revolves around giving rather than taking, and you contribute to a positive civilization.

Every act counts. Every thought and emotion counts, too. This is all the path we have.

—PEMA CHÖDRÖN

When I interviewed Eckhart Tolle, I asked how an awakening of the heart can cause transformation beyond the individual experience. He replied, “Whoever is in contact with his or her heart is connected with his or her true nature. And whoever is connected with his or her true nature is connected with the true nature of all living things. That consciousness, living in unity with the power of the heart, will create a new reality. Nothing is going to free us but we ourselves.”

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