The Prince Of Highland Park (9 page)

Evelyn Chapter Sixteen

It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen or heard from Ryan.  I remember him holding me in his arms and how it felt so right.  When I found out that he slept with those two girls it tug
ged at my heart and I haven’t spoken to him since. Maybe he was giving me time to get over it.  I can’t hold it against him even though I was hurt, because he is not mine.  This fucking sucks, I haven’t seen Ryan in two weeks and yet my mind hasn’t gotten the memo that maybe he’s not interested.  He hasn’t called or come by the club so I don’t know.  Maybe I should call and see what’s up with him.  Yeah, I’ll do that.  I get my phone and press his name before I think too much of it and change my mind. 

Now that it’s ringing I think it’s a bad idea, before I could hang up I hear “Hi Ev; what’s up?” 

“H…hi, um…I’m good, how are you?” I stutter,

“I’m good,” he vaguely replies not saying more.  Now this sucks, because he does sound uninterested.  Now I need to get off the phone before I embarrass myself further, “Sorry for bothering you, I’ll let you go,” and hit the end button. 

“Shit, Shit; Shit,” I curse out loud.  If I didn’t get it before, I got it loud and clear, might as well just delete his info from my contact so I won’t be tempted again to embarrass the hell outta myself.   I scroll through my contact finding his name and hit delete, throwing the phone on the table.  I hear the phone vibrating, I went and pick it up, and I see a number that I don’t recognize, must be him since I deleted his number.  “Hello,” no one answers at first then I hear his voice, “Hi Ev; why did you hang up so fast?”  How should I answer this question, should I be honest or just blow it off as nothing.  I choose honest, “I hung up because you didn’t seem interested in talking to me.  I haven’t heard from you in two weeks.   I was just checking to see if you were alright.  The way you answered the phone I got the feeling I was the last person you wanted calling you, so I hung up.”              

Sighing in defeat because he hadn’t said anything I continue, “Listen Ryan; I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I haven’t heard from you in since that night.  I mean…well I don’t know what I mean. I thought when I saw you at my house we were ok, then seeing you at that party and hearing that you did what you did then I didn’t hear you and…I’m…never mind I’m blabbering so why did you call back?”  I wait to see if he would answer. “You called and hung up so I was calling back to see if maybe I could see you? I wanted to give you some space after what happened, that’s why I didn’t call or come by the club.”

“I understand your reservation for wanting to see me.  The thing is, I like you and I know I’m handling things all wrong. You are getting to me in a way that I don’t like, but I can’t get you out of my fucking head.  I want you more than anyone I’ve been with before and I tried to stay away because I didn’t want to… I don’t want to keep fucking up,” he finishes. “Let me think about it and let you know, ok? I ask, knowing I want to see him, but don’t want to seem too eager.  “Ok let me know,” he said and hangs up.  I thought about it, sending him a text ten minutes later.

Me: 
Ok, you want to talk lets’ talk.  How about you come over around seven?

Before I could put my phone down, it chimed

Ry:
Seven is perfect are you sure you want me at your house rather than go out?

Me:
Do you want to come over or not?

Ry:
I do
.

Me:
You wanted to talk

Ry:
ok seven is perfect

Putting my phone down, I
go upstairs to take a shower to get the morning’s run sweat off my body. 

Jules pops into my mind, picking up my phone and dial her. “Hi Ev; what’s up?” she asks.

“Nothing much just checking to see what you’re up
to,” I reply.

“Mind if I come by just for a few?” I ask.

“You know you don’t have to ask, just pop in,” she said. 

“
Ok see you in a bit.”  Pulling up to Jules house a short while later I see her outside smiling on the phone. I open the car door and get out. She says to the person on the phone, “Let me call you later, maybe we can hang out,” and then she hung up. 

Smiling at her I ask “Hey what’s going on; who are you hanging out with later?”  She shrugs her shoulders and says

“Travis; he wanted to know what I was doing later.  I’m not doing anything so why not.”  Looking at her I see s
he is trying to down play her feelings for Travis, because she is scared.  “I know you are in love with Travis, and I also know that you are scared to put yourself out there because of what that creep Tony did.  Just don’t let that scum cause you to lose out on love,” I say letting her know she’ll be ok.

“I kn
ew Tony was a creep.  I guess I…um… just don’t trust myself, you know” she says looking nervous. “Listen; don’t let one fucker mess you up. Your instincts are good, just because one asshole slips through doesn’t make your choices bad.”

“I love Travis; I think I’ve loved him from the first time I saw him over
at your house.”  Laughing, I tap her shoulder.  “I know that too, I saw the way you looked at him back then, even before you told me.  So what are you scared of?” I ask.

“I’m scare
d that he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m scared he is going to rip my heart out and stomp on it. You know how he is with girls. I was hurt when I caught Tony cheating, but I didn’t even cry.  I know that Travis can do irreparable damage, and I don’t think I’d survive,” she answers.  I know how she feels, but I also know that Travis feels the same way about her. I also think he is scared; maybe I should give her a little push. 

“I know Travis has feeling for you.” It’s like a light bulb went on, snapping her head up and looking at me with determination to grill. Cutting her off before she could utter a word I continue.  “I see the way he looks at you when you are not looking.  He looks at you like he wants you for himself.  Lets’ not even talk about when he found out Tony cheated on you.  He wanted to rip him in two, believe me he has feelings for you, but I think he is scared too.”

“What does he have to be scared of?”
she asks.

“I think not wanting to ruin your friendship, I think it can get complicated if you bring sex into the
picture and there nothing else.  When the newness of the sex is over the friendship can be too.  Now I know the both of you have deep feeling for each other, deeper than just a sex fling, so to build a relationship based on the friendship you have, you guys will be fine.”

“You think so Ev?” she ask
s sounding unsure.

I know she
’s scared and don’t want them to ruin their friendship by getting into a relationship that doesn’t work.  The thing is because I know that Travis is also in love with her, I know it will work.  Don’t want to say anything about the in love part, I think that shit will scare her too; she doesn’t think she deserves him.  Well that’s what she tries to tell herself. 

“I know how you feel about him but don’t worry too much about it, let it play out and see what happens.   Just be honest and stop trying to convince yourself that you don’t deserve him, because you know what?  You do, I know you do so just stop, ok.” 

Changing the subject she asks “What are you doing tonight?”  I don’t want to get into this right now, because I don’t know what’s going to happen, so how the hell do I answer her.  I see her looking earnestly at me letting me know she’s not letting this rest, so I better say something. “Fine I’m inviting Ryan over, so we can talk. I haven’t seen him in like two weeks,” I say knowing what’s coming.  The way I talked about Ryan all these years there is no way I’m inviting him to my house just so we can talk.  She might be right in her thinking, but I won’t admit to anything no matter the interrogation. 

I left out the part where we made out and after that he fucked two chicks, which is the reason we needed to talk.  I won’t divulge that tidbit of info, because I know she will flip, and right now I don’t want to hear it, I’m nervous enough.  I don’t need her two cents about this.  “You skank, you weren’t even going to tell me were you?”  Looking at her under my lashes not wanting to say more on this topic, I try to change the subject

“Are you goin
g to cook for Travis?”

“No bitch that’s not happening
. Why are you trying to change the subject?” she asks not letting it go.

“Because I know you are going to be relentless and I’m already nervous about tonight, the more I talk about it the more anxious I’ll get, now can we drop it.” 

“Fine, we’ll drop it for now, but you can bet your ass we’ll be talking about it tomorrow.”  I know she mean she’ll drill my ass relentlessly for information tomorrow.   We hug and said our goodbyes.

I’m questioning my sanity why I agree to still talk to him after I knew he fucked those bitches, Am I glutton for punishment?  I mean I felt so hurt when I asked him and he answered.   I know he text to apologize, but damn. I mean who does that?  Is this a pattern of his?  I must be stupid or something, because this shit isn’t making much sense.  Now those two skanks are going to be rubbing it in my face … you know what, maybe this is a bad idea.

Me:
tonight is a bad idea

Ry:
Why?

Me:
because I feel stupid…I know you are fucking… never mind

Ry:
No go on finish what you were saying

Me:
I feel stupid because I know you fucked those girls and I like you. That’s just fucked-up right?

Me:
I mean I know there is nothing between us but that doesn’t stop me from feeling hurt that you did.  Now to have those two bitches rubbing that shit in my face is just…never mind.

Ryan:
what the hell, I’m sorry that she brought that shit up and it should have never happen in the first place, but it did.  Words can’t say how sorry I am and how much I regret it happening, but you already knew that I slept with them before we made plan for tonight

Me:
I know; it’s just gets me upset every time I think about it…you know what? Let it go.  I still want to talk

Ryan:
Are you sure, because you sound like you don’t want to be bothered with me right now

Me:
I guess it just fucked me up

Ryan:
Well if you’re sure

Me:
Tell me the truth; Are you with them officially or not? Are you just messing around with me?

Ryan:
I don’t have a girlfriend and I am not messing around with your head, I really like you too, I made a bad choice and if I could undo it I would in a jiffy but I can’t. I hope we can get past it

Me:
Ok then, I’ll see you at seven

Ryan:
I’ll see you at seven

That will give me about half an hour to get dress
ed.

Evelyn Chapter Seventeen

I r
un upstairs to find something cute to wear.  I could wear a pair of jeans to keep the temptation to a minimum.   I don’t want to give him the impression I’m trying too hard.  So I opt to wearing shorts and a tank top.  I took off my granny panties and put on my red lace thong and matching bra, that should scream sexy. Yes, I’m preparing myself.

Don’t expect anything just go with the flow, we are only going to talk.  I keep repeating over and over hoping it will stick somewhere in my brain, so I don’t convince myself this is more than it is.  Looking at the time, oh goodness I have five minutes before he shows up and I’m not ready.  I know I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything before, I want us to talk.   Also I definitely want to do more than talk too.  I just don’t want a repeat of what happened the last time, because it made me feel like shit.  He did text to rectify why he left, but regardless I did feel rejected.

The weeks that I didn’t see him, didn’t do justice to quench my thirst for his touch, his lips, and what scares me most is that I want more than just his kiss and his touch.  I wonder if he’s thought about touching me, kissing me, doing unthinkable things that would make my toes curl.  Did he miss me the way I missed him?  My heart started pounding, anticipating seeing him tonight.

“Fuck!” Did he have sex with those girls again, since that day?  It would rip me up big time if he did.  Please don’t let me ask or think about it please, please, please.  They say curiosity kill the cat, so this case I’m the cat and I’ve lost count of how many lives I have left.  It’s not my business anyway, and we are not together.   I don’t want to know, I won’t ask, I keep saying trying to convince myself. 

The bell interrupts my thoughts, my palms became instantly sweaty.  What the hell is happening to me?  This is not how I should behave; I’m supposed to have myself under control.  I run to the front door and open it not wanting him to wait longer than he should.  Seeing him in front of me wearing fitted black jeans and a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow did nothing for my control.  As he cleared his throat, I open my mouth to say something about why I was staring, but couldn’t think of a reason.   So I closed my mouth, and step aside for him to enter.

“Hi Ev
, how are you?”  He asks taking me in.

“I’m ok, how have you been?”
I ask. 

“Not as good as I could be,” he said so low I nearly missed it.  “What’s going on with you?”  I
ask looking into his eyes trying to read what he’s thinking.  “I just haven’t been able to get this girl outta my head, and it’s driving me insane.  I’ve tried to stay away from her, because I’m no good to her right now, but she called and now I don’t think I can leave her alone even if I tried.” 

Excitement fills my body knowing he is talking about me. I can see it in his eyes that he is telling the truth.   I can also see that he’s conflicted about it. I don’t know how to feel about what he said.  With everything that happened after we kissed, well we did a bit more than kiss, is making me second guess myself.  I’m wondering if I should believe he has feelings for me like he claims.  I’ll file that thought away for a later date, hopefully he’ll prove himself.  The fact is I need a label on what we are, so I know how to act around him.  “That’s good to hear,” I say reaching up to touch his face.  The intensity in his eyes wasn’t like anything I’ve seen before.  Seeing that type of hunger, which is directed solely at me, makes my heart skip a beat.  “Let’s go to the living room. Would you like something to drink?” I ask, as we are walking over to the couch.  “Whatever you have in the fridge would be fine.” 

“Sure let me go see what I have in there,
”   I say as I walked to the kitchen to get a soda and a bottle of water from the refrigerator.  My insecurities comes full force, making me second guess myself if I want to go down this path.

If I do, I know I could get my heartbroken, if I don’t I will always wonder if I missed my chance.  Sighing out loud I turned and bumped into something throwing me off balance.  Two hands reach out catching me before I could fall.  “Hey there, sorry, I was coming to see if everything was ok,” he says still holding onto me, making sure I had my bearings before letting go.  “Yeah, I’m ok; I didn’t see you there,” I say looking everywhere but at him, due to embarrassment.  Taking the soda and the water from my hands he walks back to the living room.  Taking a deep breath I follow him.

Before I could sit down I said “Ok let’s talk.  I heard what you said earlier and I see the truth in your eyes.  I also see that you are conflicted about how you’re feelings. I can understand your reservations.    I have to also be honest.  You’re stirring up feelings in me I’ve never had before, and I don’t know how to handle them or what to think of it.  I like you, and I like spending time with you, talking to you, amongst other things.   I want to know everything about you the good and bad,” I say.  If I think too much about it I will find a reason not to say how I’m feeling.  Trying to lighten the mood I said. “Would you prefer to go out rather than staying here where the temptation of me jumping you is rising?”  He lets out the sexiest laugh I’ve ever heard.

“Don’t laugh at me, I do find you sexy and for the past few minutes we
’ve been sitting here, all I can think about is what happened the last time you were here,” I say honestly.

Smiling he reaches his hand out tucking my hair behind my ear. “So you want to jump me huh? Well if you do I won’t stop you.  What exactly were you thinking about from our last encounter?” He asks still smiling. Blushing, wondering if I should tell him.  Throwing all caution aside I spilled my guts.  “I was thinking about how your hands felt on my body, and how your lips and tongue felt in my mouth,” I whisper so low he has to lower his ear to hear me. “I like the way your cheeks turn this pretty shade of pink when you’re thinking about me or what I’m doing to you.  I like the way your breath hitches…just like right this minute. Your reaction to what I’m saying is turning me on, I like that you like me and you are honest about it with no games.  I love the way your body responds to my kisses and touches.  I like all this, and I do want to be with you too. I don’t know what’s going to happen if we go down this path.   I know I want to see where it all leads.”   Watching him take a large gulp of his soda, as though what he said was hard for him to say out loud.  “Ok, so you want to be with me?” I asked nervously wanting to make sure I am not conjuring it all up in my head.  “Yes I do, I do have some things I need to sort out before we do, because I don’t want to hurt you if it doesn’t go the way I plan,” he answers.

“I appreciate your honesty;   At least we know where we stand with each other.  Can I ask a personal question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but I need to know.  Have you had sex or kissed anyone since the last time you did with those girls?” I ask, even though I promised myself I wasn’t going to.  “Do you want to know the truth?  What difference would it make?” He asks.  Forcing a smile on my lips, to show I’m ok, I reply, “I do want to know the truth, and it would make a difference, because I want to know if you are feeling the same things I am.”  Taking another gulp of his soda he turns with a look I can’t read and said, “Yes.” 

I didn’t want to show how much I was hurt by his admission, so I put on a smile despite the raging turmoil that was going on inside my chest.  “Thanks for being honest, even though I want to be with you, I just don’t think I can be one of your many women.  There are certain things I don’t share and you would be one of them if we go down this road.  I just can’t do it.  I don’t want to pressure to choose, but if you want to be with me then it has to be me and me alone.”