The Promise (31 page)

'Sorry? Why are you saying sorry? It is I who ruined everything ... who caused all of this. If anything, I should be the one apologizing...'

'No, you should not. You did nothing,' Shambhavi protested.

'Exactly. I did nothing, when I should have been taking care of you. I doubted you. I didn't trust you, when I should have. I am not making excuses or defending myself, but trust me, Shambhavi-I had reasons to be doubtful. I have been caught in this trap once ... I could not take the risk ...'

'You should have given me a chance.'

'Yes. I should have. But I did not. I left you alone. I am such a horrible person,' he said, disgusted by himself.

'Don't say that. That's not true. You are a good man. Or you would not have stuck with me all this time, trying so hard to help me get through this ...'

'I was just trying to right my wrong. That's the least I can do.'

'Arjun ...' Shambhavi held his face in her hands and looked up at him. 'Please don't say that. It was not your fault. What happened to my dad and Pari-it was an accident.'

'An accident, which would not have happened had I been there with you, to take care of you.'

'Don't beat yourself up, Arjun. Just don't. I cannot see you like this. I'm so sorry. I was so blind; I did not see how much pain you were going through. I did not see how shattered you were by Paris ...'

Shambhavi's voice broke and Arjun shook his head to make her stop speaking. And she did. So did he. They slipped to the floor where they were standing and sat down, holding each other with all their might. They talked to each other. Arjun told her about everything he had felt, had gone through and regretted and Shambhavi told him about everything she had felt. They lost track of time. They just kept on talking. It was as if they would never stop. There were so many things to talk about. So many things he wanted to tell her.

His fear, his torment ... he told her about every single feeling he had felt ever since he had gone out of her life, locking himself away under his factory building. He explained to her why he had doubted her, desperately trying to make her see why he had done what he had. He told her about his parents, he told her about Prehal ... he told her everything.

'I can't believe ... there is so much you have gone through ... so much ache... Shambhavi stammered. She seemed unable to speak properly.

'Everything has gone so badly awry in my life ... when you came, a flicker of hope, I was too afraid to let myself go. But I took a leap of faith ... I let myself fall for you ... and then you told me about the baby ...'

Shambhavi nodded.

'It was not like I did not want to trust you, but I just could not take the risk. And after I left that day, I sent you the cheque I said I would. And until recently, I was under the notion that you cashed it. That made me feel that you really were after my wealth ...'

'That cheque? I didn't even know about it until I got home and opened the envelope. And I never cashed -'

'I know. I know,' Arjun said, trying to calm her down. He had found out about her need to earn her keep recently. She did not accept help from anyone easily. She was one of those people who did it all on their own. He respected that. 'Faisal told me.'

'Oh,' Shambhavi said.

Arjun explained to her how he had found out about everything from Faisal and had rushed back to her. But he had been too late. Shambhavi listened to him patiently, snuggling closer.

Then, out of nowhere, she started crying again.

'No, no. Please don't. Shambhavi,' Arjun tried desperately to stop her. 'It's getting better. Let it. Don't think about it.'

But she kept on sobbing. It felt to Arjun as if he had been taken back to the day of the funeral. She dug into him and cried her heart out. He did not want to let her, because it hurt him too much. But then he decided it was probably for the best. She needed to vent the pain out; she had been keeping it all bottled up for too long.

He let her cry. She kept crying. A flood of tears broke inside her and it kept on flowing for hours. He held her and shook her lovingly, whispering sweet nothings into her ears, telling her it would all be okay.

She spoke aloud. All her fears, all the nightmares that haunted her-she told him about everything. She told him that he was the one who had kept the nightmares away. She told him that she needed him.

Then, she started talking about Pari. She told him how Pari used to kick her, how she felt from over her belly when she rubbed her palm against it. She told him about all the toys she had started buying for her baby. About how she had been terrified upon seeing the blood.

He kept listening to her, stroking her hair, kissing her forehead, telling her it was okay. After they had both retched out whatever they had been going through, they sat silently, in each other's embrace. They sat together on the floor. Arjun was holding her from behind, as she rested the back of her head against his chest.

'Arjun,' Shambhavi whispered after a while. She still had tears in her eyes. After everything they had shared, she still looked extremely sad.

'Yes?' Arjun asked.

'I read your poem.'

It felt as if someone had thrown him into icy water.

So, that was why Shambhavi was being good to him? His poem was not supposed to be read. He had just scribbled away his feelings, looking for a way to vent it out. His ears turned red in embarrassment, knowing that she knew about his deepest fears. And then he sighed deeply. Did it really matter? Did he really mind? It had made her come out of her shell and that was ... fine ... absolutely fine by him.

'And I want you to know,' Shambhavi continued, 'that it is not your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about.'

Arjun nodded.

'And, also ...' Shambhavi tried to say something, but paused.

'And ...? What?'Arjun prodded.

'And, I just ... there is no obligation. It was not your fault, none of it was, and I forgive you for what you did to me. You ... you wrote you wanted to run away ... I am just saying thatyou do not have to feel obliged to stay with me ...'

'Are you asking me to... leave?'Arjun asked, his heart sinking already.

'No. I am just telling you that you can, if you want to ...'

'What if I tell you that I never want to leave? Would you let me stay?'

For the first time since ages, Arjun saw Shambhavi smile widely, from ear to ear. She had come back to him, she had opened up to him ... but she had not smiled. Not till that moment. But when she did, it lit up his world. Her smile was dazzling. It could stop traffic. But Arjun's heart was reacting exactly to the opposite effect. His heart was racing.

'Forever,' Shambhavi said.

'Then marry me,' Arjun said reflexively.

'What?' Shambhavi turned around, studying his face in shock.

'I'm serious. I have loved you for a very long time, Shambhavi. I have fought my feelings, given in and pulled back, only to return. I do not want to do that anymore. I want you. With me. Now. For always.'

'But ... but ...'

'I don't have any family. You don't have any family. Let's be each other's family?' Arjun suggested. 'It will be perfect. It was always meant to be.'

'This is ... just so sudden ...' Shambhavi struggled to find words. It made Arjun smile.

'Then let's do it. I do not see any point in waiting. I want to keep you for life. This is the way to go about it. I will not have it any other way.'

Shambhavi stared at him for a complete minute, not blinking. Arjun could almost see her mentally replaying everything that had happened between them since she had met him.

'Is there any other man you love, Ms Sen?' he kidded.

'Only you, Mr Datta.' Her smile was back.

'Then what seems to be the problem?'

'I was just wondering ... whether this is the final, official proposal or will I get the on-one-knee, diamond ring thing later?' she said, tongue-in-cheek. 'And red roses, of course.'

'Girls these days, I tell you, they are so shallow,' Arjun shook his head in fake-disgust.

'I know. But what can we do? It is what it is. And another thing-if I marry you, be warned-I'll be doing it for your immense wealth.'

'Oh, I've known that since the very beginning!'

They laughed together. It was as if everything between them was back to where they had left off-perfect. As soon as they stopped laughing, silence fell between them. There were so many things going on through their heads. He knew she was thinking about the proposal. The proposal they had both shrugged off as a joke; a proposal they both knew he was serious about.

'Say yes,' he whispered in her ear.

She closed her eyes. He knew she was considering his proposal. This was his chance to turn her decision into his favour.

'I will keep you happy, Shambhavi, I promise. I will be by your side, forever. You will never feel alone, be it night or day,' he murmured. 'You know we will be perfect together. You know I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'I know. But I love you more,' he repeated what she had told him the last (and the first) time they had professed their love for each other.

She smiled. 'Agree to disagree.'

He turned her face to him, holding her chin to make her look into his eyes. He held her eyes for a second before he moved forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. He pulled back. Her eyes were still closed.

He had once promised himself that he would love Shambhavi without reservations and would not let anything come in the way of their love. He had broken that promise. It had been the biggest mistake of his life; there was nothing he regretted more. This time, when he made that promise, he knew it was to be kept.

'I will make it all go away, Shambhavi. I will help you through this. I know how bad the pain is; I feel it too. I know you need me to drive it away. And I need you. You will never know how badly I need you to be with me. I cannot bear the thought of not being with you. I know I have hurt you, I know I have broken your trust. But I promise that it'll not happen again, that I'll always have faith in you, always trust you. I love you. Life is not worth living without you by my side. Gosh, I so need you,' he exclaimed suddenly.

She opened her eyes and looked at him.

'I cannot live without you. Not now, not ever. Be mine. Please.'

She just nodded.

en months have passed since that morning Arjun proposed marriage to Shambhavi and she accepted. Since then, everything has been as perfect as it can be.

Sometimes even now, Shambhavi wakes up in the middle of the night, her body convulsing with nightmares. But she always has Arjun by her side. He is always there to hold her close to him and whisper soothing things to her to make her go back to sleep. When there are no nightmares, she snuggles up to him anyway.

Mili and Vikaas are still engaged. They are planning to get married as soon as they can get a date at the Court. Their wedding had gotten delayed in their indecision of where they would live after they married. Vikaas wanted to shift to the US, but Mili did not want to go so far away from home. However, once she heard the package his company in Seattle was offering him, she packed her bags to fly away in a jiffy.

Tutul does not hate Arjun anymore. When The Green Meadow finally opened, it opened huge. Tutul's career took a leap higher than she had expected. Arjun's slate was wiped clean. Plus he got bonus points for treating Shambhavi so lovingly.

Arjun has kept his promise to her and is in no mood to ever break it. Being with her comes to him naturally; she brings out a side of him even he did not know existed. She completes him.

Arjun and Shambhavi are at Dr Mishra's office. They had gotten the routine tests done on both of them and are waiting anxiously for the reports to come out. Two weeks ago, Arjun had raised the topic of trying for a baby again. Shambhavi thought about it, but she was too scared to try. Arjun made all her fears go away and convinced her.

Now, she is excited about the plan. The only thing coming in their way is whether or not she is physically ready for successfully carrying another child. Arjun had gotten the routine tests run on him just to give Shambhavi company. She smiles at the thought.