Authors: Kate Benson
“Stop saying it like we’re going on a vacation. We both know we aren’t coming back. There’s nothing here for us now. I’m going to bed.” I hear the anger in her voice but I know that it’s not aimed at me.
“Are you going to try to go back to sleep?” I’m surprised she’s attempting sleep but would be happy to see her get some rest.
“We both know that won’t happen,” Sophie says with an exasperated sigh. “I just want to be alone for a while. Thanks for waking me … and for the tea. Goodnight Ana.”
“Night, Sophie.”
After the door closes, I hear her quiet sobs. I may check on her later but right now I know she wants to be alone. I decide being alone sounds like a great place to be so I grab my bottle of wine and decide to finish it off.
Tomorrow’s going to be
a long day. One that I’m not entirely sure either of us is ready for.
Taking a sip, I look around the house Jack and I grew up in. It’s filled with so many memories I struggle to imagine what it will be like to call somewhere else home. I imagine how hard it’s going to be for Sophie, too. She hasn’t lived here
for as long as I have, but I get the feeling that this is the closest thing to home she’s ever had. She doesn’t mention her childhood often, but I get the impression it wasn’t always a happy one. That’s why when Jack asked me how I felt about her staying here, I was okay with it. I knew I hadn’t given the poor girl much of a welcome when we first met, but she’d proven herself to Jack a million times over and there was no denying her feelings for him now.
I’d always hoped Jack would find someone like Sophie and he had. Even though they hadn’t had the long life together I’d always wanted for him, I was grateful that they’d found each other before he was taken from us. Looking down at my now empty wine bottle, I decide I should’ve gotten
three.
Sophie
Our last day in Camden may have looked like an uneventful one to an outsider looking in, but I’m an emotional wreck by the end of it. I know I’m knee deep in denial about leaving, but if I faced how exhausting this day would be at the start of it, I don’t think I’d have managed to make it through in one piece.
Once I’m
up, I set out to have one last long look at the place that brought me to Jack. I have a lot of memories wrapped up in this little town and they all belong to him. I’d intended to give each of them their own time before Ana and I left in the morning.
She offered to come along for moral support, but I decided
that I want to be alone for this. She’s helped me get through so much already and I appreciated the offer, but some things you just need to do on your own.
I stop
by various places, including Jack and I’s favorite diner, Meg’s, where we’d had our first date. Then, I went to the lake where we ran together and the football field. I had cheered him on through many games at that field and saw him and his teammates win often. I started with the easier places trying to work up my nerve knowing I’d eventually end up at the two places I least wanted to go.
M
y last stop before the cemetery is the playground near the school. We’d had many memories here, including one of our last, and it was now one of my favorite places in the world. It also remains one of the hardest to go to now.
As I sat
down on the merry go round, I remembered the first time that we had come here together. It was the night of our first big fight.
Jack and his teammates had just won the playoffs and afterwards, we’d gone to a party at his best friend Matt’s house. Half of Camden was there and there were girls everywhere trying to get attention from the local football stars. I’d never realized I was a j
ealous girlfriend before Jack, but something about the way Brianna Carter was looking at him that night made me crazy. The fact that Jack was too nice to tell her to take a hike had only made it worse. I stormed out of the party and headed home, stopping at this park first so I could cry my eyes out like the baby I was. I’d only been here for about ten minutes before Jack had found me.
“Soph? Why did you leave? What the hell, Baby?” Jack rushed over to me, his f
eatures full with concern and his voice laced with annoyance that I’d left Matt’s without telling him.”Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Jack. Don’t worry you can wipe your conscience clean. Just go back to
Brianna, I’ll be fine,” I snapped. I was trying desperately to fight back tears of jealousy and inadequacy.
“What the
…? Sophie, what are you talking about?” Jack asked, looking genuinely confused.
“Don’t do that! Don’t act like you don’t know what you did!” I railed.
“Well, since I don’t know what the hell I did, you can’t really call it an act, Soph. You have to give me more information if you’re gonna be this pissed off at me!” he was starting to get irritated now.
“Don’t worry about it, just leave me be,” I tried to hide my face but Jack wouldn’t have it. He sat next to me on the merry go round and brought his fingers up to my chin
, gently turning my face so that I was looking directly at him. I quickly snatched my face away from his hand, glaring back at him. “Go away Jack!”
“No! Not until you tell me what the hell I did wrong!” Okay, now he was mad. Jack had never
been mad at me before but I damn sure wasn’t backing down.
“Look, Jack. I know I’m not perfect but you don’t have to rub it in my face, okay? If you want someone else then just say so and leave me alone. At least be respectful enough to be honest about it!” I was going to cry. Shit.
“Baby, what the hell are you talking about?” he yelled at me as he gripped his hair in pure frustration, standing up to pace in front of me. I could tell he really had no idea that I’d seen him talking to her. Was I overreacting? I didn’t think so.
“Jack, just leave me alone,” I said quietly. Tears were starting to fall from my eyes and I couldn’t help it. I just hoped that he didn’t see them. If I was going to get dumped for another girl, I’d like to
at least keep some dignity.
He took a couple steps t
oward me, releasing a deep breath. “Nope, it’s not happening. What’s going on, Babe? Why are you crying?” he asked again, softer this time, as he sat back down beside me on the merry go round.
I couldn’t answer. I felt embarrassed and inadequate and horrified that my feeli
ngs were right on the money, especially now that he’d seen me crying.
“Wait. W
hat about Brianna? Are you jealous?” he guessed. When I didn’t answer, he continued. “I was just talking to her about the game, Sophie that’s all. You have no reason to be jealous, you know that right?”
“I’m not jealous. You can do whatever you want, I don’t care,” I said childishly. I
may not have been as pretty or as ‘hospitable’ as Brianna Carter, but I would be damned if I give them the satisfaction of seeing how much their flirting had bothered me.
“Baby, you’re jealous?” h
e fought a grin as if he somehow knowing that laughing at that moment would get him killed.
“I’m not jealous, Jack! If you want her then go back to th
at stupid party!” I yelled back at him. I knew I was being childish, but at that point I just couldn’t bring myself to care.
He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He laughed hard
, ignoring my glare as I smacked his arm. “Baby, I’m sorry …“
“Don’t call me B
aby! Or else your new girlfriend will be the one who’s jealous! I’m sure she’s lurking around here somewhere just waiting to pounce on you as soon as I leave, which is now!” I got up to storm away, but Jack’s hand caught my arm.
“Soph, stop. Please. Look at me for a second,” Jack pleaded.
Looking up his athletic, six foot frame I couldn’t see what he saw in me. I felt plain, scrawny, boring even. He was spectacular. I looked up into his gorgeous blue-green eyes, which were surrounded by skin that was freshly tanned from football season as the gentle breeze blew through his sandy brown hair.
What could this perfect boy want with me? How could he be meant for me when he was so breathtakingly beautiful? He still had a death grip on my hand, though it was no longer necessary. Just one look into those eyes and I’d been unable to move.
“Baby, you really think I want Brianna?”
He seemed genuine and he’d never lied to me before but I just couldn’t understand. “Who wouldn’t want
Brianna, Jack? She’s gorgeous. Why would you want me when you can have her?”
There was something in his eyes that I didn’t recognize. He’d looked at me a million times, but never like this. His strong, calloused hand came up to my cheek and lovingly stroked the side of my face.
“Soph,” he looked into my eyes and I melted. I couldn’t have answered him if I wanted to. “You’re such an idiot, Baby,” he answered with a grin.
“What?” I hiss
ed through clenched teeth until he pulled me up to his chest which was shaking with gentle laughter. He brushed the hair from my face and gently placed it behind my ear.
“Shhh
…” he stopped my words by placing a gentle finger over my lips. “Baby, why would I want her when I have the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen right here in my arms?”
I start
ed to voice my disbelief when he quiets me again. “You, my beautiful Sophie, are all I’ll ever want. I love everything about you. I love how you fit me perfectly,” he said, pulling me closer to him. “I love these gorgeous green eyes,” as he spoke he wiped the tears from beneath them. “I love your beautiful, long blonde hair,” he said, running his fingers through it gently, making me blush. “I love the blush of your cheeks and your dimples,” he stroked the side of my face as I gave him a small smile.”I love the little freckles you have over the bridge of your nose,” he kissed the tip of my nose. “I love your sweet, full lips and how you bite them when you’re feeling nervous,” he traced his fingertips over my bottom lip, gently pulling it from my teeth.”You’re every dream I’ve ever had and every fantasy I could ever want all rolled up into one perfect package. No one will ever compare to you, Sophie.”
I was
speechless. Our bodies fit together so perfectly it’s as though God designed us specifically for each other. Brushing my remaining loose blonde strands away from my face, Jack looked deep into my eyes and whispered, “Now stop talking crazy and kiss me, my silly, jealous, beautiful girl.”
With that, Jack lean
ed down and kissed me. It started out slow and sweet turning into an urgency to consume each other.
In that kiss, every doubt, every feeling,
and every need came crashing to the surface, quickly disappearing. My body melted into his as I clutched the front of his shirt to keep from losing my footing. If not for his strong embrace, I was sure I’d have fallen over right then and there. But Jack had me, his right arm securely around my waist, pulling me into him and his left hand against the base of my neck.
There had been
a gentle breeze blowing through the trees, but our bodies were so hot we’d have never known it. Before I knew it Jack had lifted me up to him as I wrapped my legs around his waist. His arms hooked under my thighs, holding me against his hard body. Our kisses became breathless and more intense than they’d ever been before. Keeping me securely wrapped around him, Jack walked us over to the grass and he laid me down. He kissed me with urgency, as if his life depended on it. I knew we were in the park and I didn’t care. In that moment, there was no park. There was no party. There was no Brianna Carter.
There
was only Jack and I.
His hand tangle
d in my hair as his lips became soft and slow. He began his torturous assault down my jaw and neck. His other hand gently but possessively rubbed up the side of my stomach beneath my shirt until he found my breast, rubbing my hard nipple between his fingers as I released a soft moan beneath him.
“Baby, you
’re so beautiful,” Jack whispered into my hair as he gently lifted my shirt.
“Jack,” I groan
ed as he took my breast into his mouth. His hand was working itself lower, running up my leg under my skirt. I ran my hands up his muscular arms until I found his shoulders and drove my fingernails into them at the same time that he pushed the fabric of my panties to the side, sinking his fingers inside me. He gently began pumping his fingers into my sex while his lips and tongue devoured my nipples.
I pull
ed his shirt over his head and began kissing his shoulders while I held on tight to his arms. Jack always had an amazing body but football season had taken it to a whole new level. Looking at him, I marveled at his new physique. He kissed me hard, swallowing my loud moans. I wanted him bad and as he grinded against my thigh, I could feel how badly he wanted me too. I slid my hand down between our bodies until it’s positioned perfectly over his impressive erection.
“Ah! Baby
…” he breathed between kisses. I unbuttoned his pants as he continued moving his fingers inside me, and I gripped him in my hands. “Sophie, if you don’t want to do this, we have to stop now.”
I did
n’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted him too badly. I grabbed him harder in my hand and my lips kiss along his strong jaw. All of his movements stopped.
“Sophie?” h
e looked down at me. Things had never gone this far for either of us before. Not with each other or anyone else. I could see all of the unasked questions in his eyes. I could also see the devotion that matched mine there.
Jack love
d me.
“I love you, Jack. I want you. I want this,” I whisper
ed as I pulled my shirt over my head.
“I love you, too,” his whisper matched mine as he kisse
d me sweetly. We’d never said those words to each other before, but there it was.
Jack’s kisses were soft against my lips, neck
, and throat while he moved his body on top of mine. My eyes were closed when he asked me again, “Are you sure we’re ready for this Baby?” I opened my eyes and gave him a shy nod before answering with my lips. I heard the rip of the foil as he opened the condom and then I felt him move over top of me. Placing my hand over his as he slid it on, I could feel how large he was. I was nervous, unsure of how he would fit inside me, but I knew I’d never want someone like I wanted Jack. When his movement stopped again, my eyes flittered open to find his gazing down into mine.
“I love you, my beautiful Sophia.”
Sophia. He’d never called me by my full name before. No one had called me that since my dad had passed away. My heart melted and before I was able to respond, his lips were on mine and I felt him slide gently and slowly inside of me. We both gasped at the delicious intrusion and I watched as Jack’s features shifted from anxiety to hunger.
“You okay
, Baby?” he asked me breathlessly, stilling above me for a moment so we could both catch our breath. He looked down to see my response and when he saw me nervously nod up at him, he continued his slow assault. I could tell he was still holding back.