The Proud and the Prejudiced (2 page)

Marlene Hollingsworth had known my mother since
they were little girls. They had both been born and raised in Joplin, Missouri,
as I had been for my six years although I had been born while Mommy and Daddy
were staying in New York. Mommy and Marlene had been best friends in school and
stood up with each other when they each got married right after Pearl Harbor.
During World War II, Daddy had to go to Fort Robinson in Little Rock for boot
camp, and Mommy went, too.

Mommy lived at a house as a boarder since Daddy
had to stay on base, and to pay for her room, she worked at the dime store. One
day after she had been standing on her feet for hours, a customer was rude to
her. She started crying and all she wanted was to go back to Missouri. Like a
miracle, Marlene and her husband Molly walked into the store right at that
moment. They packed her up and took her back home to Missouri.

The war moved people around a lot. When Daddy
was stationed in Louisiana, Mommy went with him, and she didn’t see Marlene
again until Daddy went overseas. After the war was over, Marlene and Molly and
Mommy and Daddy bought houses down the street from each other and were best
friends all over again. They even both had little boys about a year apart. Then
Molly went into politics, and first he and Marlene had moved to a bigger house
in a finer neighborhood, then he took his family all the way to Washington,
D.C. Mommy and Marlene would write letters, but they didn’t see each other
again until I was three. That was when Marlene had wanted to come home for
Christmas, and Mommy and Daddy invited them to stay with us. Their son Anthony
stayed in Tad’s room, and their daughter Annette stayed with me, but I don’t
really remember it. After that visit, Mommy and Marlene stopped writing, and we
never saw them again. Until now.

Marlene and Molly were divorced now, which I
didn’t really understand then, and she had gotten their house in Alexandria,
Virginia. She lived there with her daughter Annette, only a few months older
than I, and her son lived in Georgetown with his father.

After Tad and Anthony were born, Mommy and
Daddy had drawn up a will stating that Marlene and Molly would become the legal
guardians of Tad and any subsequent children should anything happen to them,
and Marlene and Molly had done the same for their children. That’s why after
the fire, Tad and I went to go live with Marlene.

I really liked Marlene; she was like a movie
star. She let us call her by her first name. She always wore her blond hair in
a tower on top of her head. She wore tons of eye make-up and bright red
lipstick and nail polish. She puffed at a cigarette she held in a long holder.
She had fancy clothes and mink coats and one that she said was beaver. I liked
it best. Her black poodle Jake had a fluffy hairdo and painted nails and always
stayed by her side, and she would feed him the olives from her martinis.
Sometimes she would pour some of her morning coffee into the saucer and put it
on the floor, and he would drink it. She said he might have a hangover from
eating too many olives. I think Jake liked it best on the mornings when
Lillian, the maid, brought donuts and Marlene would tear a piece off and put it
in his coffee.

The house had a huge party room with plush
white carpeting and twin blue-silver sofas and a low, round glass coffee table.
Trees and plants filled the room, and the bar was always in full supply of
liquor. When Marlene would sit on one bar stool, her poodle would climb onto
the other and sit on his hind legs while she fed him. Behind the bar, an
enormous mirror covered the wall, and the other walls were papered with a blue,
Victorian print. This was my favorite room in the house, though I rarely was
allowed in. It was the first time I had ever seen a crystal chandelier.

Annette and I had a marvelous time together at
first. We had tea parties for her dolls and looked through Marlene’s fashion
magazines. A stone wall about four feet high surrounded the enormous house, and
we would walk on it pretending to be trapeze artists. This had been my idea.
Since they had carpeting, we couldn’t balance ourselves on floorboards, so the
wall was an adequate substitute, except I was always afraid I would fall and
break my neck. Annette’s brother Anthony would visit occasionally but not
enough for him and Tad to become good friends.

I started going to school with Annette after
Thanksgiving. With the exception of the fire, I had never been so scared in all
my life. For one thing, in school Annette completely ignored me and only played
with her friends. For another, Tad and I were separated since our schools were
not co-ed. I didn’t know if I would like going to an all-girls school, and I
wanted to be with Tad. Ever since the fire, Tad and I had spent more time
together, just the two of us. Sometimes we would talk about Mommy and Daddy
since everyone else acted like they never existed. I had my own room, but at
night I would climb into Tad’s bed just in case there was a fire. None of the
luxuries in my new life could compete with the comfort he gave me.

*****

Alice sat just offstage perusing the new script
when Peter Walsingham arrived with his entourage, and she was relieved most of
the cast and crew were at lunch. Even the few crewmembers there gawked and
whispered to one another. Alice glanced up at the newcomers then fixed her
attention to the script on her lap, although she couldn’t help it if they were
in her peripheral vision.
Damnit, he’s just as good-looking in person
.
And
Winnie Johnson just as gorgeous. And thin.
Naturally, he would bring his
paramour
with him to the set. She willed her heart to stop racing, reminding herself
that by all accounts this guy was a misogynistic dick.
A dick named Peter –
ha!

Winnie walked around the set touching the
furniture and mantle. “I have never seen anything so cheap in my life. And this
is supposed to be your home?”

“Not if I can help it,” Peter said in
that
voice.

“They must have spent the money for sets on the
cameras. Why do they need so many?”

“It’ll be fine; you’ll see,” the other man said,
his voice lively and excited. “It really is a great show – and you’ll be
working with Giselle Meyer!”

“Who the hell is that?” asked
the
voice.

“Oh, c’mon, Peter, you must know her! She’s
incredible. You see, years ago she was going to be a nun, but before she took
her final vows, Damien declared his love for her, but then he was in a terrible
accident and had amnesia –”

“Jack,” Winnie said, “don’t tell me you actually
watch these soap operas!”

“Only
All My Tomorrows,
but it’s really
good.”

Alice suppressed a smile. She liked this Jack
person.

Peter huffed. “I consider that highly improbable,
but I won’t argue with you. What’s done is done, and I am stuck here. They
wanted to punish me and have succeeded, but what I won’t stand for is
portraying some former character raised from the dead. Ridiculous.”

“Not dead, actually. Just lost at sea.”

“It’s another man’s role. I feel like an
understudy. Even in this pitiful excuse for a drama, I should be able to
develop my own character.”

At that, Alice looked up and right into the eyes
of Peter Walsingham. Her own eyes widened at having him stare at her from
across the set. And why was he staring at her? At first she didn’t turn away
because of shock, but then, since he evidently had no intention of breaking the
eye contact, she continued out of sheer stubbornness.
I suppose he believes
his fame and movie-starness intimidate me. Well, he’s right, but he doesn’t
have to know it.

“But you get to bring back Tristan!”

Peter broke the gaze and turned to Jack. Alice
smiled.
Ha! I win! I win a staring contest he had no idea we were having
.
Her smile faded and she returned to the script.

“What is with these names? I’d rather play
Tristram Shandy.”

The reference surprised Alice.
At least he’s
not illiterate.

“Tristan is Clarissa’s brother. You will like
working with Eileen Seaver.”

“Yes, that’s another thing. I have seen her
picture. No one in his right mind would believe she and I could be siblings.”

“Perhaps you got all the looks in the family,”
Winnie said, returning to Peter and Jack.

Alice slammed the script shut, but the sound of
paper slapping together was far from satisfying.
So, he is too handsome to
play Eileen’s brother!

“If you have issues with the script,” Jack said,
“why don’t you discuss them with the head writer. I’m sure she–”

With a humorless laugh, Peter said, “I doubt she
could write her way out of a paper bag.”

That is it!
Alice jumped down from her chair
and marched toward her office.
I could certainly have written a better
comeback line than that!

CHAPTER 2

Marlene legally adopted me when I was fourteen,
since I had been with her longer than my real mother. Although she never came
out and said anything, I think Annette resented it. Before then, Annette and I
would be best friends at home, but she would completely ignore me at school, as
if she had no idea who I was. Once we had the same last name, though, she
couldn’t pretend I didn’t exist. Instead, she joined the other girls who teased
and taunted me.

My appearance at that time could only be
described as ugly. I had stringy red hair like yams, and my face was broken out
from the chocolate that also contributed to my weight problem. I spent all my
free time reading, studying things not needed for school and feeding my
imagination. The main reason, I suppose, was because I didn’t have any friends.

Annette generally led the attacks against me,
which I didn’t understand since we were sisters – although she made it clear to
everyone that we were not “real” sisters. Of course, she was pretty and
popular, and that’s what the popular girls did. They said I was weird, and they
said it so often I began to believe it myself.

By then I knew I wanted to be an actress, and I
decided to practice the craft immediately. I would regale my classmates with
terribly untrue tales, not so much to get their attention but more to see if I
could fool them into believing me. Sometimes these falsehoods went too far when
they actually did believe me. All the mean girls would talk about parties and
going out, so I told them about a wild party I had attended, in my mind. I
fictionalized a guest list, entertainment, hors d’oeuvres, and the hostess all
in intricate detail. After hearing my story, some of the girls relayed it all
to Sr. Theresa, the principal, and I was summoned to her office.

“Some of your friends are worried about you.
They said you attended some sort of hippie bacchanal.”

“If they are the ones I think, they are no
friends of mine. I did no such thing.”

“But they all heard you talking about the
party.”

“For some reason, they don’t care for me – at
all. I wouldn’t doubt that they all got together and made up this ridiculous
story just to turn you against me.” At this point, I turned up the histrionics
and even managed to make myself cry. “And you believe them! Of all people, I
thought I could trust you. Why do they hate me? They are trying to ruin my
reputation, and I have never once served then an injustice!” The nun believed
me. Or maybe she believed Marlene, who could have verified that I had not spent
a single night out of her sight.

I think Marlene, Mother now, might have chosen
that time to adopt me because Tad had gone away. He still lived with us while
he went to college at Georgetown, but as soon as he graduated, he was drafted.
I knew as much as I could about Vietnam, and I was against the war even before
the Marines took Tad. I prayed every night that he wouldn’t be sent overseas.

Molly was a Senator now, and he used his
connections so Tad could stay in the States as long as possible. I still never
saw him, though, since he was stationed in California. I figured Molly had used
those same connections to keep his own son out of the war altogether and
couldn’t help but resent them both for it, especially when the inevitable
happened.

Almost a year after he had been drafted, Tad
was standing in the kitchen when I came down before school.

“Tad!” I ran into his arms as he lifted me off
the ground. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t a guy come and see his little sister
every once in a while?”

“You better believe it! I’ve missed you so
much.”

“Me, too. You haven’t been out drinking and
carousing, have you?”

“Of course.” We laughed, and I caught him up on
any new things since my last letter as we walked into the living room and sat
on the sofa. “And how is everything on the base?”

He averted his eyes. “Um, fine.”

“You still haven’t explained your unexpected
appearance.”

“I’m here because I have to talk to you.” He
looked at his watch. “But you’d better get to school.”

“No, we can talk now. I have first hour free
today anyway. You can’t expect me to spend the day imagining the worst.”

He looked at me then. “Lexie, it is the worst.
I’m going. They’re sending me to Nam.”

“No. No, they can’t! What about Molly?”

“There’s nothing he could do. He arranged for
me to come here first to see you, but he couldn’t do anything else.”

“It’s not true! It’s not true! They can’t send
you!” I was screaming, and tears flowed down my cheeks in rivers. He held me
close, but he couldn’t stifle my hysteria. My screams had awoken Mother, and
she and Annette came running into the living room. “You just can’t go!” I
pulled out of his arms and fled to my room.

I know he tried to cheer me up while he was
there, but sometimes just looking at him made me cry. I couldn’t believe my own
brother was going to Vietnam. A few days later at the airport, Mother left us
alone to say goodbye.

“Don’t worry, Lexie. I’ll be back in thirteen
months.”

“That’s over a year.”

“It will go by quickly. You’ll see. I want you
to stay as busy as possible and not think about where I am so the time will
pass faster.”

“What if something happens to you?”

“Nothing is going to happen. Don’t worry.” He
kissed a tear under my eye. “But I want to talk to you about something I think
you should know.”

We sat on a couch in the airport, and he took
both my hands and looked into my eyes. “Lexie, after Mama had me, she and Dad
really wanted another baby – more than anything in the world – but I gave her a
hard time in the delivery room. The doctor said it would be dangerous for her
to have another baby, but she didn’t care. She wanted a baby, and so she got
pregnant.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“She got pregnant, Lexie, but it was a
difficult pregnancy. She miscarried in the seventh month, and she had to have a
hysterectomy.”

As what he said came together in my mind and I
started to make sense of it, I began to cry. “Why are you telling me this now?
You said nothing was going to happen to you.”

“They still wanted a baby. So they adopted
you.”

I shook my head back and forth. “No. No, I
don’t believe you.”

“It’s true, Lex. I went with them to New York
to get you.”

“So then who is my real mother?”

“I don’t know. She was a young actress in New
York, but I never knew her name. And they fixed it so your birth certificate
had Mama and Dad’s names. I don’t even know if they went through an adoption
agency.”

“I suppose that explains why I love acting.”

He wiped at my tears with a handkerchief. “I’m
sorry to tell you like this.”

“I…I don’t suppose it matters. I mean, I was
adopted by Marlene anyway. Does she know?”

“I don’t think so. You know, something happened
a long time ago between Marlene and our mother that made them stop being
friends. I think Mama would have told her if she wanted her to know.”

“I just wish you weren’t telling me now because
I know why you’re telling me.”

“Lexie, nothing is going to happen to me, but
just in case, I thought you had the right to know.”

Then they called his flight and he kissed me
goodbye. “I love you, Alexandra.”

*****

“Come in,” Alice said without looking up from her
book.

“Mrs. McGillicutty, we need to talk about –”

At the sound of Peter’s voice Alice raised her
head, and he broke off. She frowned. “Mrs.?”

“It’s you,” he said, frozen in the doorway.

“Not if you are looking for
Mrs
.
McGillicutty. Why would you presume I am married?”

“I – well…with a name like McGillicutty, I
assumed…”

“So you assume every female McGillicutty emerges
from the womb married?”

The shock from recognition fell away as his face
relaxed. “No, of course not. I apologize if I offended you,
Miss
McGillicutty.”

She pointed at a chair with her pen. “Alice will
do. You have something to discuss?”

He closed the door and took the offered seat. She
was too pissed off at him to be star-struck, and she had prepared for this
conversation.

“I saw you on the set,” he said. “I assumed you
were an actress on the show.”

“You assume quite a lot, Mr. Walsingham.”

“Peter. You can call me Peter.”

“What an honor,” she said. “Now, why are you
here?”

“Yes. About my character. Tristram.”

“Tristan.”

“Tristan. Right. I don’t want that role.”

“Oh? And why might that be?”

“He was lost at sea and declared dead. The premise
is ridiculous.”

“No, it isn’t; it happens all the time.”

“Like when?”

“Well, there’s
My Favorite Wife; Move Over,
Darling
; Gilligan.”

“That’s fiction. I mean it’s not realistic.
Besides,
Move Over, Darling
is a remake of
My Favorite Wife
.”

Although amused at his knowledge of old romance
movies, she would not let it divert her. “Realistic? So you really are a war
veteran slash forensic pathologist who will not rest until he avenges the
murder of his wife? No wonder you embodied your role on
COD.
”

He smiled at her.
Oh, dear Lord, he’s smiling
at me
.

“I take your point,” he said, “and thank you for
the compliment.”

She rolled her eyes.
Shit
. She
had
complimented him.

“Regardless, I feel uncomfortable portraying a
character that belonged to another actor. Should I be watching tapes of his
performance? I should have an original –”

“I am surprised you care so much, Mr. Walsingham.
With our cheap sets and implausible plots, we both know even appearing on a
soap is far beneath you.”

He stared at her, the smile now gone, replaced
with…nothing – his face completely blank.

She let a few moments of silence pass between them
before she spoke again. “Listen, you are here for a limited run. I do not have
time to create a new character and develop a new romantic storyline with Sienna.
Tristan already has a backstory and a previous relationship with Sienna that I
can work with.”

“Was that before or after she went into the
convent?”

“Before. I think. I don’t know; that was before my
time. We have researchers in charge of continuity.” When she stood up, he did
as well, and she walked around the desk. “I am sure you can understand why it
needs to be that role. Forget the previous actor – you’ve been ‘changed by the
sea.’ Make the role your own.” She opened the door and stepped back to invite
him to leave.

A crease formed between his eyes flicking back and
forth between her and the doorway.

“You shouldn’t frown like that; you’ll get
wrinkles between your eyebrows.”

He ignored her. “Do you think the audience will
believe that Eileen Meyer and I could be brother and sister?”

“Why? Because she’s a neurosurgeon? I’m sure they
will just assume she got all the brains in the family.”

She took advantage of his confusion to usher him out
and close the door. Then she leaned back against it and blew out a full breath.