The Publicist Book One and Two (19 page)

Chapter Forty-Three

At her apartment, Kate poured them some wine and she kept reading, handing Nick pages as she finished.

“Nick, this is exquisite writing. I’ve never in my life read anything like this,” she said.

Nick frowned, “Why would he not tell anyone he did this?”

“It was so like your uncle, actually. He hated publishing but loved to write. He couldn’t help himself. I should have known he’d never stop writing.”

Nick sipped his wine. “Kate, what are you going to do with this?”

“I don’t know. Allan’s not under contract with MD anymore…” her words trailed off. “Allan, why?” she said. “Why did you do this?”

Kate started crying again.

Nick took the sheet of paper from her hand and put it back in the box.

“Come on, Kate. let’s get you something to eat. Enough of this for tonight.”

Kate looked up. “It’s snowing hard. Let me just fix something here.”

“No, let me. You’ve done enough today.”

They ate a little while later. Unfortunately, Kate did not have much in the way of food, but Nick managed to fashion together some cheesy scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. Eggs and red wine—it was an oddly perfect dinner. They sat down on her couch and ate in silence.

Finally, Nick said, “These eggs aren’t organic. You’re making me do bad things, Kate.” Nick winked at her.

She smiled, although her eyes never left the closed box on the coffee table in front of them. Nick watched her intently.

“Kate, I like you. A lot. But, I’m going back to California soon.”

She nodded, “I know.”

“I want to explore this with you. Maybe it’s a grief thing over my uncle, but I doubt it. I think we both know what this is.”

Nick took the plate out of her hand. “Finished?”

She nodded. Her head felt light from the wine.

“I don’t know what I can promise you, Katie. My life and work is in LA and yours is here. Maybe I should just go now, but I don’t want to.”

Kate swallowed hard. She knew he was going to kiss her, and when he did, she knew what was next, what he wanted. Did she want it, too? His lips found hers; there was an urgency that hadn’t been there before. Nick wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him.

“I want you, Kate,” he breathed into her ear.

She wanted him, too, but at the same time she wanted to push him away.

Another man who would leave.

Her life was full of them. But his kisses felt perfect, the moment triggered by heat. Kate needed some distance. She pushed herself up off of the couch.

“I-I need to…I’ll be right back.”

Nick looked surprised, but didn’t say a word. Kate went to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Sitting down on the edge of the tub, she contemplated what was going to happen if she didn’t send Nick home. Mac was becoming a bigger part of her life than she’d expected or intended. To be with Nick felt like cheating, and yet, there was Mac, married and unyielding from his position. Kate sighed. She needed perspective. She needed something to balance herself out emotionally. She had fallen for Mac, a man with whom she had no future. Her feelings were so jumbled she wasn’t even certain. Nick was here, single and wanting her. They could have a future, something that would never be afforded her if she allowed herself to continue to become so entwined with Mac’s life. Kate emerged from the bathroom. Nick was standing up, reaching for his coat.

“Stay,” she said almost in a whisper.

Nick walked over to her, kissed her neck, and then held her face as his lips consumed her mouth.

“Let me make love to you,” he breathed into her skin. Any doubts she had faded into the night. She couldn’t refuse him.

They made love. Nick’s passion was fueled and tender. He wanted her over and over. When Kate fell asleep, he was wrapped around her. As she drifted off, she wondered what Mac was doing right now, in Connecticut.

Chapter Forty-Four

It was a cardinal rule that Mac never spent a single holiday with any of his lovers. It was a rule he’d never break. Until now.

It was New Year’s Eve. Mac pulled his jacket tightly around him. He left early because all he could think about was Kate—that she was alone, and he wanted to be there for her. Although admittedly, part of him worried that she wasn’t alone, that she was with Nick.

It was six o’clock. He made his way to Kate’s apartment.

His rule. He never broke it.

So why now?

He couldn’t answer that. All he knew is that he needed to see Kate, and he needed to see her tonight.

Chapter Forty-Five

The first workday after the holiday break was always tough, but this day in particular was harder than most. MD had been closed on Monday, leaving Mac to his own devices. He did not call Kate or attempt to see her again after his botched New Year’s Eve surprise.

Mac sat back in his chair, remembering the scene as he came upon her apartment. There she was with Allan’s nephew in a hot, passionate kiss. Then, she took his hand and took him upstairs. He was certain he knew what happened next.

He had no right and he knew it, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to break down her door and drag him out of there. He didn’t, though. Instead, he went home and watched the ball drop in Times Square.

“Happy fucking New Year,” he had said to no one.

The office perked alive. He heard Kate arrive as she greeted Lulu.

“How was your holiday, Kate. Did you manage to enjoy it?” Lu asked.

“Yeah, it was good, Lulu. And yours?”

“Fine, you know. New Jersey with the family. Boring, actually. Did you see Hot Nick over the holidays?” she added, eager for news.

Kate smiled, “I need to get to work, Lu. We’ll talk more later.”

Lulu tried to hide her disappointment but was not successful.

Mac followed Kate to her office.

“Morning, Kate. Happy New Year,” he said flatly.

Kate turned, surprised, “I thought you weren’t coming back until later today.”

“I came back early.”

There was something off about Mac; she wasn’t sure what it was.

“Is everything okay, Mac?”

No, everything was not okay. She was moving on with her life and he wanted to stop it, but he didn’t know how. The women he’d seen before never challenged him; they were there at the ready. But not Kate. Kate was evaporating before his eyes and he wanted to stop it, he needed to stop it. But he also knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

“Sure. Fine. We have Saundra in this week, remember?”

Kate nodded, hanging her coat. “Right, her photo shoot is tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

Mac was acting really strange. Maybe something happened with his family.

“Was your holiday okay, Mac?” she asked. “You seem off today.”

Mac ignored the question. “The photo shoot should be easy. I know you were planning to go, but I think we can manage.”

He turned to leave without saying goodbye.

Kate wondered what was up.

Chapter Forty-Six

“You rang?” Kate smiled as Grace opened the door. The first day back to MD had been a long one. All Kate wanted was to go home, but Grace had sent her an urgent email that she needed to see her.

Grace hugged her friend.

“Katie, I’m so glad you could come by.”

“You didn’t leave me much choice. You said it was urgent. Are you okay?”

“Fine, really. I just made ginger tea. Want some?”

“Sure.”

Kate removed her coat and followed her friend into Grace’s tiny kitchen.

“I loved meeting Nick. Thanks for bringing him by on Christmas.”

Kate smiled, “Sure, it was a good day.”

She wondered if she should tell Grace about Allan’s project. She had given Mac a copy of the manuscript and asked him to read it but didn’t tell him who the author was. She was curious to hear what Mac thought of it.

“How good?” Grace winked, handing her a cup and interrupting her thoughts.

“Very good. He stayed the night.”

Grace hugged her friend, almost causing her to drop her cup.

“I’m so happy for you, Katie, and so relieved.”

Kate sighed, “I know.”

“So, tell me more!”

Kate sat on the sofa.

“Well, it was great, but it only happened once.”

“I thought you said you spent New Year’s Eve with him, too.”

“I did, but nothing happened.” Kate fumbled with the fringe of the blanket. “I need to clear some things up first.” Her voice trailed off.

“With Mac, you mean?”

Kate nodded.

“You love him, don’t you?”

She nodded again. Grace took her hand. “Honey, I know you do, but Nick is great and single…”

“And lives in California.”

“It’s just a plane ride; it’s not a wife and family.”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry, Katie, but look, I am worried about you.”

“Is that why you brought me here, to talk me out of seeing Mac?”

“How long has it been going on?”

“A month, but it feels longer. I’ve never felt this way, for anyone, the way I feel for Mac.”

“He is a player, Katie. He will break your heart.”

Kate set her cup down on the coffee table. She knew the odds, but frankly she was tired of having them thrown in her face.

“Look, Grace, I get it. I know he’s done this before. But I know Mac, and I think I know his heart.”

“No woman ever really knows the heart of a married lover.”

“Grace, look, it’s been a long day. I am really not in the mood—”

“I brought you here to show you a picture of my father.”

Kate frowned, “I’ve seen your father. He’s right there.” She pointed to a picture of him on a shelf. Two smiling faces: Grace’s father and mother.

Grace got up and walked to her narrow desk. She picked up a shoebox and brought it over.

“Gerald was not my father,” she said quietly. Pulling the lid off of the shoebox, she lifted out a picture of a man, a newspaper clipping, and handed it to Kate.

“This was my father, Paul Henry Wagner III.” Grace’s hand trembled slightly.

“Grace, I don’t understand.”

“When my mother was our age, she fell in love with Paul; he was a senator and married. They had an affair that spanned seven years. Paul was smart, witty, and, as you can see, very handsome. He took her to lovely restaurants and on trips to Europe. One day, she discovered she was pregnant, and he insisted she ‘get rid of it.’ My mother refused and Paul cut her off. It broke her heart,” Grace’s voice was heavy with emotion.

“She met Gerald while she was pregnant. He owned a gas station and knew my mother for years. Gerald was plain, not bad looking, and nothing that my mother had ever hoped for, but he loved her and he loved me as though I was his own. She told me before she died.”

Kate was at a loss for words. The shoebox was filled with memorabilia, which Kate assumed had once belonged to her mother. Ticket stubs and photographs. All that was left of a love affair contained in a dusty old box.

Kate reached for her friend’s hand, “Gracie, I’m really sorry. But I don’t see how—”

“When she was dying,” Grace interrupted, “she told me the story, how she had loved Paul all of her life, although she’d loved Gerald, too. Paul was her first and greatest love. He never called to check on her and after I was born—never cared to even know me. He just vanished and took her heart with him. She never got over it.”

Kate was silent. What do you say to an admission like that?

“You need to let Mac go, Kate,” Grace insisted. “You may not see it now, but I do. You love him. You are crazy about him. Mac is dashing and handsome and funny and all the things women want. But he’s married, and he always will be.”

Kate felt a tear swell in her eye. “I-I don’t know. I need to think about this.”

Grace took her hands. “There’s nothing to think about, Kate. Married men never leave, ever. You will be left with a shoebox and nothing more if you don’t let him go. I love you, Katie. I don’t want to see you suffer like my mother did.”

“I’m so sorry, Grace, really. I’m very sorry this happened to her…and to you.”

…

Kate left Grace and headed home, but she found she couldn’t go home. Not just yet. So, she wandered the streets of New York aimlessly hoping the answer to the dilemma she faced would somehow present itself.

She needed Mac. She loved Mac. Then there was Nick—sweet, tender, carefree Nick—who lived three thousand miles away but was more available to her than Mac ever would be. She liked Nick. And she knew she could love him. But Mac left her breathless. Kate thought about Allan’s manuscript and the possibilities there. Maybe she should just leave New York and follow Nick to California. However, she knew that wasn’t an option. Her home was here, as was her heart.