The Quest for the Heart Orb (12 page)

Yes, she knew his name, and yes, she knew he was the man who’d fathered her, but that didn’t make him any less of a stranger.  She sighed as she slipped the pouch into her pocket.  She would give it to him, as she’d promised her mother.  But she would not tell him that he was her father.

***

“Will you walk with me, Bredon?” Kapia asked after dinner.  Ren had been quiet all evening and excused herself early, and Caral was in Kapia’s room preparing for the next day, so they were alone for once.  But Kapia wanted to be certain that no one could overhear what she wanted to say, so a walk seemed the best choice.

“Of course,” Bredon said, rising to his feet and holding a hand out to help her up.  She took it, smiling up at his familiar green eyes, his thick red hair shining like a flame in the candlelight.  The warmth of the afternoon was long gone, so they pulled on their gloves, and accepted their cloaks from Caral.  Bredon buttoned hers securely beneath her chin and raised her hood before opening the door.  They walked side by side in companionable silence as they crossed the settlement in the waning light.  Kapia led the way between two oversized Argiari houses and up a sharp rise to a grove of trees overlooking the settlement.  They sat on an old log that she’d used whenever she wanted to get away and be alone with her thoughts during their stay on the
Hidden Sister
.  It was private in the sense that no one was nearby, but they were still in sight of the guards below.

Bredon took her gloved hand in his and she sighed, feeling the warmth of his hand even through the leather of his gloves, and the wool of hers.  “Is there something you wished to speak of, Kapia?” he asked.

“Yes.”  She bit her lip, then released it.  She would
not
allow a sudden case of nerves stop her from saying what was on her mind.  “A few days ago, when you first returned and we kissed…,” she began.   Bredon interrupted.

“I know I got carried away, Kapia, and I apologize.  My only excuse is that I hadn’t seen you for so long.  Please forgive me.  I promise, I will never….”

“Stop,” Kapia said abruptly before he could finish his promise.  “I don’t want you to apologize, Bredon, and I certainly don’t want you to promise not to do it again.”

Bredon looked at her in surprise.  Then his brow furrowed.  “You…liked it?”

“Of course I did,” Kapia said, rolling her eyes.  “Didn’t you?”

“More than you can know,” he replied.  Then he shook his head.  “But we cannot let it happen again, Kapia.”

“Why not?” she asked, surprised.  Then, her face fell.  “You don’t approve of me liking it, do you?”

Bredon’s hand tightened on hers and he turned slightly to face her.  “Kapia my love, please take my word for it when I tell you that the pleasure I experienced in kissing you like that, and holding your body against mine, was second only to your passionate response.”  Bredon paused, closing his eyes for a moment as a shiver ran through him that had nothing to do with the temperature.  He took a deep, calming breath, and continued.  “It was
too
pleasurable, I’m afraid.  It could so easily lead to…other things.  Things that are properly meant to occur only between husband and wife.  I wish I could tell you that I had enough control to never go further than we did, but I cannot, in truth, make that promise.  You are too tempting, and I want you far too much.”  He swallowed hard at the thought.  “I know that this is not a proper subject for one as innocent as you, so I beg you to please trust me in this.  We cannot allow that to happen again.  A chaste kiss now and then, certainly, but no more.”

Kapia was relieved.  At least Bredon seemed to want her as she wanted him.  She couldn’t do anything about them not being married.  It was for the man to ask, not the woman.  It wasn’t even proper for her to raise the subject.  But, if her lack of knowledge was the only impediment to them discussing the subject of kisses, she could at least fix that.  “I am not as innocent as you think, Bredon,” she said, smiling.  Bredon’s face instantly darkened, his brows lowering like thunderclouds over eyes that were suddenly icy cold. 

“Explain,” he demanded.  He’d released her hand and when she looked down she saw that his fists, now resting on his knees, were clenched so tightly his knuckles were white.

“Why are you angry?” she asked.

“Kapia,” he growled warningly.

Kapia frowned, but did as he asked.  “When Tiari asked Karma to explain the secrets of relations between men and women to her, I asked to be included.  Marene was supposed to have done it years ago, but she never did.  Karma agreed, and taught us both what we needed to know.”

“And?” Bredon demanded.

“And…what?” Kapia asked, confused.  “I was shocked and, I admit, horrified at first.  But when Karma asked me to think of you in the context of what she’d told us, well, my opinion changed.”

“Just tell me, Kapia,” Bredon said impatiently.  “Tell me who he is.”

“Who?” she asked blankly.  Then, all of a sudden, she understood.  Her own fists clenched as she glared back at Bredon and spoke furiously.  “You think that I would…with another man?  How dare you?!”  She stood up and stomped away in order to keep from slapping him for the insult.  She’d only gone a few steps before Bredon’s strong arms wrapped around her, bringing her to a stop and trapping her arms at her sides.

“I apologize, Kapia,” he said into her ear.  “When you said you were no longer innocent, I assumed you meant something quite different.”

“How could you think that?”  Her anger slipped away, leaving behind the underlying hurt.

“I swear, I never thought that,” Bredon said.  “I just misunderstood your meaning.  Please, come back and sit with me.  We must finish this discussion, and if I continue holding you like this, it will lead to places we cannot go.”

Kapia sighed, enjoying the feel of his body against her, his arms around her, but she nodded her agreement and let him guide her back to the log.  They sat back down, and he took both of her hands in his once more.

“So you have learned the secrets of sex,” Bredon said bluntly. 

“Are you disappointed?”

“Of course not,
surna
,” he replied.  “It’s a relief, actually.  It helps that you know of what I speak when I tell you that we cannot let ourselves get too excited.”

Kapia nodded.  Now they’d come to the reason she’d asked him out here in the first place.  “Bredon, before you left we’d held hands, shared a few of those chaste kisses you mentioned, spoke of loving each other and of one day, in the future, marrying.  I felt…things…when I was with you.  Physical sensations that I didn’t understand, and had no knowledge of.  It was confusing, but also exciting.  And then you were gone.

“On top of the worry and the fear, I felt so much regret for all the things we didn’t do.  The time we didn’t spend together.  The conversations we didn’t have.  All the times I could have told you that I love you, or held hands with you, or just smiled at you.”  Bredon squeezed her hands gently.  He’d had the same regrets, and understood her perfectly.

“After Karma’s personal talk with me and Tiari, my regrets grew.  The more I knew, the more I had to regret.”  Kapia’s expression become fierce.  “I never want to regret like that again, Bredon.”

“I’m sorry it was so difficult for you, Kapia,” he said.  “If it helps, I had the same regrets, and it was no easier for me than it was for you.”

“Knowing you suffered as I did does
not
make me feel better, Bredon.  But there is something that will help.”

“Which is?”

“Give me memories instead,” she said, looking unflinchingly into his eyes.

“Memories?”

“Karma said that there are ways to express…affection…without going too far,” Kapia said.  “I do not know what she meant by that exactly, but I suspect that you do.”

“I’m surprised that Karma mentioned…that subject,” Bredon said.

“Tiari and Tomas were in love, and engaged, but she had to remain a maiden until after she claimed the orb,” Kapia explained.  “Karma said that embarrassment is a small price to pay for important knowledge, and I agree with her.”

“In that case, I’m impressed with Karma’s practicality,” Bredon said.  Kapia continued to look at him, and he knew she was waiting for his answer.  He sighed, and gave it.  “Yes, I know what she meant, but I don’t know if I can trust myself to stop when we’re supposed to.  I’ve wanted you for so long, Kapia.”

Kapia wanted to tell him that she didn’t care.  She even went so far as to open her mouth, the words right there on the tip of her tongue.  But she held them back.  She could see that she’d already shocked him enough.  He was very conscious of her reputation, and his own, as was right.  She did not want him to think badly of her.  But neither could she give up this second chance they’d been given.

“Let me give this some thought, Kapia,” Bredon said.  “I want memories too, believe me.  I can’t begin to tell you how much.  But this is a big step and needs careful thought.  Will you allow me time to think this over?”

“Of course, Bredon,” Kapia agreed, hiding her disappointment.  “But please, do not think too long.  Each day, each hour, each minute, could be our last together.  It’s a lesson I learned all too well.”

“As did I,
surna
,” Bredon said, raising their hands together so that he could kiss the backs of her gloves.  Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead.

Kapia closed her eyes, drinking in the warm softness of his lips, wanting so much more.  But she would wait.  She’d give him the time to think that he’d asked for.  And then she’d decide what to do next.

***

Zakiel spent the afternoon and evening with his men, helping to identify and solve last minute problems as everyone prepared to resume travelling after their long rest.  It was well after dark by the time he returned to the dwelling he shared with Karma, and he was both tired and hungry.  He’d sent word hours earlier for her to eat without him and go to bed early, so he was surprised to find her waiting for him, with Nikura at her side.

“I thought you’d be asleep,” he said, kneeling down to kiss her before taking his cushion.  “Are you well?”

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” Karma said, then fell silent while Timon served Zakiel his dinner.

“Why are you up so late?” Zakiel asked when Timon moved away.  “We’ll start early in the morning, and you need your rest.”

“I’ll go to bed soon,” Karma said.  “Since this is our last night within solid walls that offer more privacy than a tent, there is something I wish to discuss with the two of you.”

“This sounds serious,” Zakiel said, glancing at Nikura, then back to Karma.

“It is,” Karma said without meeting his gaze.  “On the night of Tomas and Tiari’s wedding, I overheard the two of you speaking silently to each other.  At first I felt guilty for listening, though I couldn’t
not
listen, but after thinking about it for a day or two, I realized it was deliberate.  The two of you wanted me to hear you.  So my first question is, why?”

“Why do you think it was deliberate?”
Nikura asked.

“Because I didn’t hear you before that conversation, and I haven’t heard you since.  I want to know why.”

“Because we felt it was time for us to discuss a subject that you continually avoid,” Zakiel said.  “We hoped you would become curious enough about the things we said to bring the subject up yourself.”

“Which subject?” Karma asked.  “Nikura’s mysterious
she
?  Or your plan to fight the Djinn rather then send the pyramid back out with a new Guardian?”

Nikura and Zakiel shared another glance, then looked at Karma again.  “Why have you never asked about the Guardian of the pyramid?” Zakiel asked softly.

Karma hesitated, then shrugged.  “I don’t know,” she said.  “Maybe because whoever it is has been there for a thousand years, and we have enough trouble here and now to deal with.”

“We thought you might be concerned about who would be expected to take the Guardian’s place,”
Nikura said.”

“What does that have to do with your conversation?” Karma asked.

“Everything,
valia
,” Zakiel said.  He speared a bite of meat with his eating knife and chewed thoughtfully.  “You know that only a Techu can speak with a Sphin,” he said.  Karma nodded.  “Did you know that a Techu can be either male, or female?”

Karma shook her head.  “No, but I never gave it much thought, either.”

“You know that Nikura was companion to Samyi, the last Lady Techu before you,” Zakiel said.  “What you don’t know, what no one but Nikura has known for a thousand years, is that his mate, Ankiru, was companion to Samyi’s twin brother, Quintin, also known as
Lord
Techu.  Lord Techu and Ankiru went into the pyramid together.”

Karma’s blood went cold.  It was true that she’d avoided the subject of the Guardian, and she’d done so precisely because she’d feared something like this.  Now that it had been said out loud, it had to be dealt with.  “So I’m to take the Guardian’s place, along with Nikura.”

Zakiel stared at her as though she’d lost her mind.  “Absolutely not,” he nearly shouted.  He took a calming breath before continuing.  “Why would you think, for even a moment, that I would allow such a thing?  No, Karma, you will
not
enter that pyramid for
any
reason.”

“If not me, then who?” Karma asked.  “Unless there’s someone else you haven’t told me about, I’m the only Techu right now, male or female.”

“I will go alone.”

“Then who will act as Guardian?” Karma demanded.

“I will,”
Nikura said.  Karma frowned. 

“Ankiru is the Guardian, not Lord Techu.  It was her presence that was required in the pyramid while I remained here, on Rathira, not his.  No one knew this save myself, Anki, Lord Techu, and Vatra Gariel.  No one.  Not even Techu Samyi.” 
Karma arched a brow at Zakiel that Nikura immediately understood and flicked his ears irritably
.  “Prince Zakiel learned many things from Vatra during his last transformation.  Before that, he didn’t know either.”