The Rancher's Adopted Family (11 page)

It was still raining in Cairns.

Apparently, it had been raining for days, and a blustery wind swept in from the sea, making Amy’s umbrella difficult to control as they ran across the tarmac in the general aviation area.

Seth had rung ahead and secured seats for her and Bella to fly direct to Melbourne, and they would be home by teatime.

Home. Already, Melbourne no longer felt like home.

With Seth in charge, everything proceeded like clockwork. He accompanied Amy and Bella to the
domestic terminal, checked in their baggage and got their boarding passes.

He was especially attentive to Bella. When she spied a toy ‘rocking’ plane, he put two dollars in a coin slot and gave her a ride, and stood watching her with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

He took them to a café and ordered apple juice and a cookie for Bella, and coffee with biscotti for Amy and himself. He was going out of his way to be helpful and Amy lost count of the number of times she said thank you.

Apart from thanking Seth, she said very little. Her tiredness and the aftershock of this morning’s crisis had taken their toll, and now the knowledge that very soon she would walk out of Seth’s life brought her to the edge of tears. It was far safer not to speak…

And yet as she watched Seth entertain Bella with a magic thumb-sliding trick she knew there were things that needed to be said.

‘Bella’s going to miss you,’ she told him.

He shrugged. ‘Little kids have short memories.’

‘I wouldn’t bank on that, Seth. She’s a bright little button. Besides, I won’t let her forget you. You’re her family.’

‘She’ll have you.’

Amy knew the flippancy in his voice was forced. He was putting on a brave face, pretending a coolness he didn’t feel.

‘Your family can provide her with all the aunts and uncles she needs,’ he said. ‘Grandparents, cousins. What more could she want?’

‘A father.’

He scowled and shook his head. ‘You know that’s not possible.’

‘But you’ve become her father figure, Seth. You’re important to her, even after such a short time.’

His response was a sharply indrawn breath.

‘I plan to keep in touch.’ Amy wasn’t sure how she managed to keep talking without breaking down. ‘I—I’ll make sure you don’t miss the milestones.’

‘When’s her birthday?’ he asked.

‘March the fourteenth.’

He nodded and Amy watched a cold shadow of sadness slip over his face.

‘But there’ll be other milestones, Seth. Starting kindergarten, school, learning to play the cello.’

His eyebrows rose sharply. ‘Cello?’ For a scant moment, he almost looked amused.

Amy shrugged. ‘Cello, ballet, pony club…Whatever. She’s bound to have interests.’

‘Yes,’ he agreed quietly.

‘As I said, I’ll keep in touch.’ Now her voice was definitely very scratchy and choked.

‘You do that,’ he said, ‘and I’ll come down for the special occasions.’

‘Or I can bring her back here.’

‘It’s probably better if I come down. It would be too disruptive for you to try to come all this way.’

She suppressed an unhappy sigh.

‘You’ll send me a copy of Rachel’s book, won’t you?’ he said.

‘Yes, of course.’ As she said this Amy realised with a nasty jolt that everything else that had happened had pushed Rachel’s book clear out of her thoughts. She shook her head at him. ‘Don’t look so worried, Seth. I’m sure we can trust Rachel.’

Too soon, their flight was being called for board
ing. The shimmer in Seth’s eyes and the determined set of his mouth made Amy’s throat ache more painfully than ever.

What was there left to say?
I’ve had a wonderful time
was pitifully inadequate.

Seth carried Bella to the boarding gate and he cracked a crooked smile as he rubbed his nose against hers.

Amy looked at the narrow walkway leading to the plane. Passengers were hurrying along it, eager to be on their journey. But they were going to something, looking forward to their destinations, whereas Amy could only think that she was leaving. Going away. For ever.

Unable to hold back the impulse, she said, ‘You know, you could always put a fence around the homestead.’

The words tumbled out.

Seth looked stunned, and she felt foolish, but she was about to walk out of his life, so she had nothing to lose.

‘If you want to keep a child safe, all you have to do is put up a fence around the homestead,’ she told him. ‘Serenity could be as safe as a house in the suburbs.’

For a scant second Seth’s eyes flashed with a hopeful light, but it disappeared so quickly Amy wondered if she’d imagined it. He shook his head and his smile was a happy-sad mix of amusement and despair. ‘Amy, get on that plane.’

He gave Bella a kiss and then set her down, and as Amy took her chubby hand she was grateful that the little girl couldn’t really understand the concept of goodbye.

Seth’s eyes glittered too brightly. Amy felt the heat of his skin as he leaned close. She felt the warm pressure of his lips, just once on the corner of her mouth.

‘That kiss was goodbye and it was very nice to know you,’ he said softly.

Her eyes stung and her throat was so painful she could scarcely speak.

She couldn’t bear this. How was it possible to fall so deeply and completely in love with a man and still walk away from him?

‘One last thing, Seth.’ She tried for a smile and missed. ‘Just remember that we’re not the ones who are dead. We still have long lives to live. You, me and Bella.’

And then she turned, showed their boarding passes to the waiting flight attendant, and she held Bella’s hand very tightly as they went through the exit doors.

A
MY
tried to convince herself that she and Bella were better off in suburban Melbourne with its rows of safe brick cottages behind neat brick fences. She knew she should feel secure and reassured by the familiar sights of Melbourne’s trams and skyscrapers, and its umbrella-carrying businessmen in dark, serious suits.

Here in this great southern city the gardens were pleasantly tidy and manicured and the grass didn’t grow six inches overnight. The hedges here were soft green, carefully clipped and well behaved.

Now that she was safely back in Melbourne she could put the lush and shiny extravagance of the tropics out of her thoughts. She could slowly forget the spicy fragrance of ginger flowers and cardamom, the delicate scent of frangipani.

And surely, in time, she would stop thinking about a tall, rangy cattleman who wore battered jeans and faded shirts, and who strode through the tropical rain without a coat or an umbrella.

Like Rachel, she would put those heady days she’d spent in the tropics down to experience. She would get on with the life she was meant to live, in the south, in
the city that was famous for having four seasons in one day, rather than long, intense and endless summers and glorious, balmy non-winters.

She told herself that she’d been happy enough before she set off for the north and she could be happy again. She’d find fulfilment in her work, in taking care of Bella. She and Bella would once again be a special little unit, facing the world together.

Who needed guys anyway? Dominic and Seth had used up every last drop of her romantic blood. She was over men. From now on, the most important days on her social calendar would be Bella’s play dates and her family’s get-togethers.

After all, she’d only known Seth for four days, so this ghastly gaping hole inside her couldn’t possibly be love. If she distracted herself with hard work and with taking very special care of Bella, the wound would eventually heal.

At least that was the theory.

Six weeks later, however, as Amy organised the finishing touches for Rachel’s book launch she still felt a painful, distressing longing for Seth Reardon and it remained lodged in her heart like the dart of a poisoned arrow.

Seth stalked Amy’s thoughts during the day and she dreamed about him every night. His name was a constant ache in her throat. She’d lost weight and people—notably, her family—were beginning to worry about her.

Her mother tried to talk to her about it and Amy would have liked to pour her troubles into her mum’s sympathetic ear. Really, she would have spoken up, but she’d known Seth for such a short time she was sure her mother wouldn’t believe that she could possibly know him well enough to truly love him.

Anyone with common sense knew that you needed time to get to know a man properly before you could be sure you loved him.

Until she met Seth, Amy had been brimful with common sense, but now it seemed to have deserted her. Common sense couldn’t explain the deep, shattering yet exhilarating certainty that her life belonged with Seth Reardon.

There were times when Amy thought about that other woman—Seth’s fiancée, who’d gone back to New York and found she couldn’t give up her lifestyle. Amy wished she could find the same certainty and security in Melbourne. She wished she could feel that she would, in time, be cured of Seth, but she feared it was impossible.

She blamed herself for losing him. She’d been too pushy, asking far too many probing questions.

In her stronger moments, she was determined to be stoic about the whole thing, to stop being selfishly maudlin and to be grateful that Bella had one important link to her flesh-and-blood family.

During this time, there was only one good piece of news. Rachel’s book turned out to be a lovely, heartwarming romance, and, as Amy had expected, it was beautifully written. Rachel had used her poetic skills and sensitivity to perfectly capture the story of a couple falling in love in the tropical north.

She’d made the world of Cape York come alive on the page, and as Amy read late into the night she could once again see the tapestry of the clouds, the movements of the butterflies, the strident colours of the parrots and the flowers. She could smell the rainforest, could hear the birdsongs, feel the tinkling crunch of coral underfoot.

But while Rachel’s setting was authentic, her characters bore no resemblance to the people who’d lived on Serenity.

For one thing, their love story ended happily.

Amy sent a copy to Seth and included a note to say that she hoped he was as pleased as she was that his family’s privacy had been respected. She was disappointed, but not surprised, when Seth didn’t reply.

It was patently and painfully clear that he was determined to keep his distance.

Seth dreamed of Amy.

Together, they were hosting a party at Serenity and the verandas were filled with the sounds of their friends’ laughter and a jaunty jazz CD playing in the background. Children were running on the lawn. Bella was there, as well as Barney’s two, and another little fellow, a chubby toddler. In the dream, Seth had been sure the child was his son and he’d felt a rush of astonishing love and tenderness for the cheeky little chap.

He woke to the smell of burning gum leaves, rolled in his swag and squinted through the creamy dawn. Barney was crouched over a small fire, using his Akubra hat to fan it to life. Soon the billy would be boiling and they would make tea. They’d fry up a couple of snags and toast slices of bread over the coals. Before the sun was properly up, they’d be in the saddle again, continuing their cattle muster.

It was time to shake off the lingering effects of the dream and his restless night—
another
restless and miserable night.

Seth rose and stretched his arms high, then bent down and fished his wristwatch from inside one of his dusty
riding boots, the safe spot where he kept it every night when he was out in the bush.

In the faint early light, the watch glinted as he slipped it over his wrist, and he found himself suddenly staring at it as if he’d never seen it before.

The metal band was unnecessarily fancy and he hadn’t bothered for years with adjusting the intricate dials that simultaneously told the time in two parts of the world.

Why hadn’t he noticed before that out here in the bush, surrounded by red dirt, anthills, straggling pandanus and mobs of cattle, the watch looked totally wrong? It was too citified, like the woman who’d bought it for him, a relic from an unhappy past.

‘Why am I still wearing this thing?’ he muttered out loud.

Hell. Only a fool carried a constant reminder of unhappiness. All the time he’d worn it he’d been blinkered, with his eyes fixed on everything that had gone wrong in his life.

Crazy
.

Seth took the watch off again and hooked it on a tree branch while he rolled up his swag. After breakfast, he and Barney watered their horses, loaded their saddle packs and stamped out the fire. With luck, they’d have the mob back in the home paddocks in two days’ time.

‘Hey,’ Barney called as Seth swung one leg high over his horse’s back. ‘Don’t forget your watch.’

Seth looked back and saw it hanging on the branch, gleaming like a weird kind of Christmas-tree ornament, and he shrugged. ‘You want it?’

Barney frowned, rode over to the tree, and snagged the watch. ‘What’s the matter with you? You’re not going to leave this here, are you? It must be worth a bit.’

‘Maybe your young Sam would like it,’ Seth said. ‘He’s old enough now for a watch.’

Barney sent him a puzzled smile. ‘Sam would love this, but why? What’s got into you?’

Seth grinned at him. With a flick of his reins, his horse took off in a canter and he called over his shoulder. ‘Maybe I’ve come to my senses at last.’

Amy’s close links to the author and her background in marketing made her the perfect choice to organise the launch of
Northern Sunsets
, and she worked on the fine details with the publishers and the bookstore proprietor to make sure it was a huge success.

The launch was to be a Friday-evening cocktail party in a trendy bookstore in the heart of the city. Huge posters of the book’s stunning cover and a portrait of Rachel, looking gorgeous and Bohemian, had been hung from the ceilings.

A display filled a big front window with the photos Amy had taken at Serenity as well as books, and there was also a tiered stand of books just inside the store’s entrance. A barman had been hired to serve cocktails with tropical names such as Mangolicious, Coral Sea Breeze and Pineapple Passion.

Amy had almost given in to the accepted law that black was de rigueur for a cocktail dress in Melbourne, but at the last minute she scoured boutiques until she found a cute strapless number in coral pink. She added silver sandals and a frangipani behind her ear.

When she looked in the mirror, she felt a catch in her breathing. She was back on the veranda at Serenity, where a table was set with bamboo mats, and a candle
beneath a glass cover. Flowers floated in a pink bowl and the fragrant smell of simmering curry drifted from the kitchen.

When she closed her eyes, she could hear Seth’s footsteps coming towards her, could feel the brush of his lips on the nape of her neck, and the thrill of his arms enfolding her.

Yeah, right
.

She shook her head to clear it of the nonsense. Each day she was a step closer to getting over Seth Reardon. OK, so maybe she still had a few thousand steps ahead of her before the mission was accomplished, but his continuing silence left her with little choice. She was determined to move on. If it killed her.

On Friday evening, Amy stood to one side of the main display and watched with growing delight as the shop filled with booklovers enticed by the ads she’d placed in the media. There weren’t going to be any follow-up books, so it was really important that this launch went well. The publishers were super keen for
Northern Sunsets
to sell squillions.

Amy allowed herself one sad moment, when she fervently wished that Rachel could have been there to enjoy the glory and the fame and excitement that was due to her, but she couldn’t afford to think about that for too long, or she’d be a mess. Anyway, despite Rachel’s outgoing nature, she’d never liked to big-note herself.

Once Amy was sure that everything was going to plan, she began to circulate, smile pinned in place, chatting with enthusiasm. At first, when the woman she was talking to appeared a little distracted, she took no
notice. She was trying to describe her initial impressions of Cape York.

But then the woman said, ‘Oh, my! Does that man know you?’

‘What man?’ Amy turned to follow the direction of the woman’s gaze.

‘The tall fellow there with the amazing blue eyes and—’

Amy didn’t hear the rest.

Her ears had filled with the deafening roar of her galloping heartbeats.

Seth.

Was here.

He was standing alone, dressed like every other man in the room, in a conservative dark suit with a white shirt and dark tie, but even in city clothes he was stop-and-stare gorgeous. All sorts of people were turning to take a second look at him, almost as if they thought he was a celebrity they should recognise.

Across the busy bookstore he sent a smile to Amy, and she felt her eyes well with tears. He began to thread his way through the sea of people, and she wasn’t sure her legs would support her.

Dimly, she was aware that the woman she’d been talking to muttered something about getting a drink.

And then Seth was standing in front of her.

He was smiling as he greeted her. ‘Hello, Amy.’

It was a moment or two before she could speak. ‘Hello,’ she said at last and she was shaky and nervous and breathless all at once. ‘What—what a surprise.’

His smile deepened, making beautiful creases in the corners of his eyes. ‘It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.’

‘So you got the book I sent?’

He nodded. ‘I found it yesterday when I got back from mustering. It was in the pile of mail.’

‘Mustering?’

‘We’ve been rounding up the cattle after the wet season, and I’ve been out bush for quite a few weeks.’

Well, of course it made sense, didn’t it? She hadn’t seen Seth working with his cattle, so she hadn’t given them a second thought, but now she was ridiculously pleased that he had such a credible reason for not writing back to her.

She wanted to stare and stare at him. He looked so wonderfully refined and handsome in his suit. She loved the way his collar sat so neatly against his suntanned neck, loved the way his shoulders filled his jacket so beautifully. Compared with the city fellows with their pale complexions and pudding-soft stomachs, he carried an indefinable air of belonging to a different breed.

He’d come all this way.

Why?

At last she remembered her manners and she held up her cocktail glass. ‘Would you like a drink?’

Seth cast a dubious eye at the contents of her glass, the colour of a tropical sunset.

‘Not now, thank you.’ And then he asked, ‘How’s Bella?’

‘Oh, she’s fabulous. She’s talking in proper sentences now, and I can’t shut her up. She loves learning new words. Her latest is upside down.’

Amy knew she was gabbling, but Seth was making her dreadfully nervous, even though he looked genuinely interested in hearing about Bella.

The bookstore was filled to capacity now and people
were squeezing past them, holding their drinks high so they didn’t spill.

‘How did you know about this launch?’ she asked, lifting her voice above the buzz of conversation.

‘You sent a brochure.’

‘Oh, of course.’ She’d sent him all the promotional material with the book, as a courtesy. And here he was twenty-four hours after receiving it.

Nervously, she asked, ‘So…what did you think of the book?’

‘It’s very good. Not the sort of thing I usually read, but I was really impressed.’

‘You must have been relieved to see that the characters were entirely fictitious.’

‘Absolutely. I must admit I feared the worst.’ His mouth twisted in a self-deprecating smile. ‘Seems I was brewing a storm in my own teacup.’