The Rancher's Wife (10 page)

“No.”

Logan sighed. “We can make this work.”

“No. We can't.”

Amy pulled against his hold. His hands shot out, tugging her back against him.

“Why not?” He pressed his forehead to hers. “We were best friends once and can be again. That alone will make our marriage strong. We're good together. We proved that earlier with Thunder and just now.”

“What just happened was a mistake. One we're not going to repeat.”

A mistake
. Logan's chest burned. “We're still married.”

“Not for much longer.” She tossed her hair over her shoulders. “I've been truthful with you this time around, Logan. You knew exactly what my intentions were coming here.”

“I heard you say it. But I can't believe it's what you really want. Raintree is your home. Your family's here.” He curved his hand around her jaw, her skin warm under his palm. “I'm here. I want you with me and I want this marriage to work.”

She shook her head. “Only because you feel obligated. You didn't want to be married to me. Didn't love me that way—”

“I cared for you.” He gathered her against his chest. “I still do. I know that doesn't sound impressive. But love is just a word, Amy. One that people throw around as an excuse for reckless behavior.”

Logan's mouth twisted. His mother had used it often enough. She'd said it every time she'd placed her needs before his or Dominic's. Had whispered it when she'd wanted to manipulate Pop into giving in to another one of her selfish demands. And, eventually, had used it as an excuse to abandon her family for a richer man, shrugging off all responsibility for her actions.

Amy had used it, too. She'd said it to him over and over again after getting pregnant. As though that justified her deceiving him and trapping him into marriage.

He shook his head. “It's just a word. A fantasy. The friendship we had was strong. It was real and my loyalty is, too. We're a good team. Always have been.”

Her brow creased, eyes roving over his face, dull and heavy. “As good as Dom and Cissy?”

He clutched her hard and nudged a thigh between hers. “Better. We have history.”

A scornful laugh burst from her lips. “Bad history.”

“I remember the good. The rest can be forgiven.”

“And have you? Forgiven?” Her lips trembled. “And forgotten?”

He stiffened. He wished he could tell her what she wanted to hear. Ease her mind and put the light back in her eyes. But he couldn't.

“I'm trying, Amy. We'll try together. Take things slow. Work at forgiving and trusting each other again.”

The forgetting he wasn't so sure about.

Her breasts lifted against him on an inhale. “Let's just be for now. I'm tired.”

She sounded it. The husky note in her tone and heaviness in her limbs proved it.

Logan moved to his back, holding her close and trailing his fingers in wide circles over the smooth skin of her back.

“Then go to sleep,” he said. “I'll be here when you wake up.”

And he would be. Every day. He could get things right this time. Remind her how good they could be together and prove their marriage wasn't a mistake. That their daughter hadn't been a mistake. He owed it to Amy and they both owed it to Sara.

He shifted, bundling Amy against him and sliding beneath the covers. She drifted off before he tucked the sheet around her, hand resting over his heart and quiet breath whispering across his chest.

Logan tried to follow. Closed his eyes and tried to dream. But he couldn't silence his thoughts. Could only continue wondering silently how Amy could be right in his arms but still feel a million miles away.

Chapter Seven

“Over this way, Amy.”

Logan tapped the brim of his Stetson lower on his brow and leaned over the fence rail. Amy stood in the center of the round pen edging around Thunder's frantic bucks. Just as she'd been doing every day for the past three weeks with no progress to show for it.

Amy passed one palm after the other farther up the lead rope, stepping slowly across the ground toward Thunder. Logan tensed.

“Something's off.” Dominic shifted at his side and propped a boot on a low fence rung.

“I know,” Traci said. She grabbed Dominic's shoulder and pulled, leveraging herself up to straddle the fence. “Thunder gets more aggressive every day.”

Logan sighed. He hated to admit it but it was the truth.

Every morning for the past few days, he'd woken before dawn to find Amy gone. By the time he yanked on clothes and made it outside, she'd had Thunder in the round pen, attempting to run ground work.

Attempting was the only word for it. She'd been at it for hours today, just like all the others, with no change in the stallion. Thunder ducked his head and attacked on several occasions, causing Amy to scale the fence more than usual. And every time Logan or Dominic tried to help, Thunder became more violent and left Amy even more discouraged. It seemed as though whatever ground she'd gained with Thunder, she'd lost it just as fast.

Logan grimaced and scraped his boot over the ground. Amy hadn't been herself since he'd brought her home but she'd definitely been more out of sorts lately. The only explanation for it was their sexual encounter three weeks earlier.

He didn't blame Amy for backing away. He blamed himself. With everything that had happened between them, he should've been more controlled. Shouldn't have let the chaos of that day and one shared moment of success coax his guard down.

It seemed his body was as intent on betraying him as much now as it had before. But despite that, he couldn't bring himself to regret making love to her. He'd missed her over the years and it'd felt good to comfort her. To be comforted. To hold her again.

But he felt as removed from Amy now as he would if she were already in Michigan. And only a couple of weeks remained before she left.

Logan balled his fists.
Time
. He'd never been on good terms with it. The earth could crack under his feet and the fool sun would still rise. But as soon as a moment of peace arrived, night would swallow it whole. Time kept ticking no matter what occurred.

“There he goes again.” Dominic smacked his palm on the fence, rattling it under Logan's elbows as Thunder lunged and missed Amy by inches. “I'm worried she's gonna get hurt. He's starting to wear her down.”

“She's being careful,” Logan murmured.

Hell if he knew who he was trying to reassure. Dominic? Or himself?

“Angle over this way, Amy.” Logan waved a hand, keeping his tone calm. “I can boost you over if he charges again.”

Dominic sighed. “I know she doesn't want to hear it but have you talked to her? Asked her to ease off a bit? Take a break?”

“I've tried,” Logan said. “But she's adamant she can bring Thunder around. Keeps fantasizing that he can be saved.”

“It's not a fantasy, Logan. There's always a chance. But she needs to take a step back. Rest and regroup. Let us take over for a while.”

“That won't help,” Logan said. “Thunder trusts us less than he does her. And no amount of time is going to change the final outcome.”

“So, that's your solution?” Dominic cocked an eyebrow. “Just give up? She can handle him, Logan. More than handle him if she gets her bearings again.” He jerked his chin at the enclosure. “She's gentled more horses in that pen than I can count.”

“This is different.”

“How? There's a horse and a round pen. Same as before.”

“It's not the same—”

“Shhhh.”

Logan jerked his head back around to find Amy scowling in their direction. Thunder, rattled by her hiss, snaked his head and charged. Logan shot over the top rail, catching Amy as she jumped out of Thunder's path and assisting her over the fence.

She pushed his hands away, tossed her hair back and frowned. “I can handle myself. Could've handled Thunder, too, if the two of you hadn't been running your loud mouths.”

Dominic cast a halfhearted smile at Amy. “We know you can, Ames.” His face softened. “We're just worried about you. You've had a lot of close calls with Thunder lately and we don't want you getting hurt. If anyone can help Thunder, you can. But you can't be effective in that pen if you run yourself into the ground. You haven't been yourself for a while and Thunder's picking up on it.”

Amy rubbed her forehead. “I know that. I'm just frustrated.”

She glanced behind her, shoulders sagging. Logan followed her gaze to the far side of the enclosure where Thunder kicked and stomped.

“I'm doing the same things I've always done,” she whispered. “I don't know why he won't respond.”

Logan studied her weary expression and cringed. Dominic was right. She needed some space. Some time to relax.

Logan plucked a piece of dead grass from her sleeve then rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Well, forcing it isn't going to help you or Thunder. You need to take a break and clear your head.”

Squeals broke out behind them. Jayden sprinted across the field at high speed, his brother chasing close on his heels. They kicked up clouds of dust that hovered in sunlit particles behind them and drew to an abrupt halt at the fence.

“I won.” Jayden doubled over, air rasping between his lips.

“Only 'cuz you cheated.” Kayden shoved his brother then swaggered over to Amy. He propped his hands on his hips and squinted at Thunder thrashing in the pen. “You ain't whipped that horse, yet, Aunt Amy?”

“She's not gonna whip anything,” Jayden huffed. “She don't give spankings.” He skipped over and tipped his head back to look up at Amy. “Ain't that right?”

Amy laughed and hugged the boys to her legs. Her entire demeanor changed. The rigid tension in her body released and the tight lines on her brow eased.

Logan's chest swelled. This was Amy. As she had been. Bright and energetic. Warm and inviting. The way she was before they'd lost so much.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” Kayden drawled, squinting up at Amy. “You could whoop any horse into shape. Uncle Dominic said so.”

Amy glanced at Dominic. “That's nice of him to say. But I don't think Thunder likes me messing with him. I think he'd prefer to run me over.”

“You want me to help you?” Kayden puffed his chest out. “I won't let no horse come after you.”

Amy smiled. “Thanks for the offer, Kayden.” She bent and kissed his cheek. “But I wouldn't want to risk you getting hurt.”

Kayden shrugged, his features firming. “Okay. But if Thunder shows his butt, you tell me and I'll whoop him for ya so you won't have to.”

“Me, too,” Jayden said, sharing a conspiratorial look with Kayden. “We'll both give him a butt whoopin'.”

The boys dissolved into a fit of giggles, wrapping around Amy's legs and snorting.

“Lord have mercy,” Traci muttered, grinning. “Any horse would take off as soon as they saw the two of you coming.”

“Uh-uh,” Kayden jeered. “Besides, I know what Aunt Amy's doing wrong.”

Kayden darted between Dominic's legs and climbed onto the fence rail next to Traci.

He rubbed a grubby hand over his face, leaving a streak of dirt on his cheek. “She ain't spitting.”

Traci issued a sound of disgust. “What does that have to do with anything, squirt?”

“Everything.” Kayden lifted his chin. “Mr. Jed said if something's broke on a ranch, it just needs some spit-shine and elbow grease.” He smiled, teeth gleaming. “She needs to spit on him.”

Dominic laughed and ruffled Kayden's hair. “I think you're spending entirely too much time with Mr. Jed. Why don't you give the hands a break and let 'em work without you underfoot today.”

Kayden's nose wrinkled. “Mr. Jed ain't no hand. He said he's a bone-a-fine cowboy. Like you and Uncle Logan.”

“That's
bona fide
.” Traci said, lips twitching.

“Yeah, that's what I said.” Kayden pursed his lips in affront then grinned. “Anyways, Mr. Jed likes us helping him. He gives us good jobs, and he pays us.”

Logan smiled. Grumpy Jed probably came up with something all right. The boys had started trailing Jed the second they were released from school for Christmas break yesterday and hadn't stopped since.

“What kind of job did he give you today?” Amy asked, smoothing a palm over Jayden's back.

“He gave us a dollar to sit by the fence he painted and make sure it dried.” Kayden shrugged. “But that got boring so we left. Then we couldn't find him.”

Amy laughed. “Well, that's his loss.”

Jayden tugged at Amy's wrist. “Are you a bone-a-fine cowgirl, Aunt Amy?”

She smiled down at him. “I don't know. Depends on who you ask. Everyone has their idea of one. Do you think I'm one?”

“Yep.” Jayden grinned. “That's how come you can whoop any horse into shape.”

“Yeah and Uncle Dominic said you can beat anyone on a horse,” Kayden said, flashing a sly look at Logan. “Said you used to beat Uncle Logan every time y'all raced.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at Kayden. “Not every time. I won on occasion.”

“Sometimes, but not often,” Amy said, laughing.

Jayden's eyes widened with excitement. “Are you gonna race Uncle Logan today?”

Amy's laugh tapered off and she glanced back at the round pen. “I don't have time for a race. I need to work with Thunder some more.”

The shadows returned to her eyes and her expression fell.

Logan shook his head. “Not a good idea. You've been at it long enough.”

“But—”

“No buts. Jayden has a good point. You need a break and so does Thunder. I think a ride is a great idea.” Logan pulled at Jayden's belt loop, pausing to unwind the boy's arms from around Amy's legs with a chuckle. “Let your aunt Amy go, buddy. She's already taken.”

Jayden frowned. “Who's takin' her somewhere?”

Logan returned Amy's grin. “Me.”

Kayden sprang down from the fence, ran over and stood beside his brother. Both boys put their hands on their hips and narrowed their eyes up at Logan.

“Where you takin' her?” Kayden asked.

“For a ride on a horse,” Logan said.

“How far?”

“Far.”

The boys pondered that, their wide blue eyes moving from him to rest on Amy.

“You wanna go with him?” Kayden asked.

Amy smiled and nodded.

Jayden huffed, jutting his chin out at Logan. “You better bring her back.”

“I will,” Logan murmured, body tightening at the warmth in Amy's green eyes. Her throat moved on a hard swallow and she looked away. “I promise.”

“Hey.” Kayden darted off and yanked at Dominic's jeans. “Is it time for the bonfire yet?”

Logan grinned at the excitement gleaming in Amy's eyes. Every year, Raintree kicked off the week of Christmas with a special celebration for family and guests. The night consisted of tasty treats, games for the kids, lighting the large cypress tree behind the main house, and a big bonfire.

Every child on the ranch received an ornament, painted their name on it and hung it on the tree. Then, the bonfire would be lit to make sure Santa had a clear view of all the names. Pop used to say the bonfire was Raintree's way of getting the Nice list to Santa.

Logan shook his head. He'd never been conned into believing it. But as children, Dominic and Amy had. The flames had burned so bright and high they had believed the message reached all the way to heaven.

Logan remembered how excited Amy had always gotten over the annual Christmas bonfire as a kid and her joy for it had never diminished. It'd been years since she'd been home for one.

“Not yet,” Dominic said. “Needs to be good and dark first, then Uncle Logan will get it lit.”

“Can we light the bonfire, Uncle Logan?” Kayden asked.

Logan suppressed the shudder sweeping through him. It wouldn't take the twins more than ten seconds with a match to send Raintree up in flames.

“No,” he said. “I think it's best to leave that to the grown-ups.”

Dominic winked and nudged Kayden's chin with a knuckle. “Uncle Logan lights it every year. We don't want to break tradition, do we?”

Kayden frowned but shook his head.

“How 'bout we go in for some hot chocolate?” Dominic suggested. “Traci and I will get you fixed up with some marshmallows. After that, we can help Mr. Jed and the rest of the hands get the wood stacked for the bonfire.”

The boys squealed at that. Jayden ran over and tugged at Traci's arm.

“Can I get the big marshmallows this time? I don't like the small ones.”

Traci hopped down off the fence and took Jayden's hand in hers. “They both taste the same, Jayden.”

“No, they don't.”

“If Jayden gets the big ones then so do I,” Kayden grumped.

“Rein it in, Kayden, or you won't get any marshmallows.” Dominic scooped Kayden up and settled him atop his shoulders, holding his hands as he started walking across the field.

Jayden scampered after his brother and Dominic, pulling Traci behind him and hollering over his shoulder, “You better bring Aunt Amy back, Uncle Logan. You promised.”

“Keep it quiet when we get inside, boys,” Dominic said. “Your aunt Cissy's probably still napping.”

Their
Yes, sirs
faded into the distance.

“You don't want to ride, Dom?” Amy called.

Dominic twisted, tossing a dimpled grin over his shoulder. “Nah, I've had my share of riding. I want to check on Cissy.”