The Raven Series 2 (19 page)

His forehead lay against mine as he closed his eyes, his arms tightening around me. “I didn’t know it was possible.”

I savored the taste of his cool breath. “What?”

“For you to feel half of what I feel for you.”

Did he? Was he? “You love me?” I didn’t know what I expected. I think I was so used to him pushing me away. A glow bloomed inside me as warm as gold.

His lips twitched. “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.”

Looping my arms around his neck, I shook my head. “No way I’m letting you off that easily. It’s only fair.”

He frowned. “Parker was right, you know.”

“How do you figure?” I asked.

“You and me being together is toxic. I see that now. If you were anyone other the White Raven, you’d already be mine.”

“But I am,” I finished.

“You are.”

“Before you say anything else, I need you to know I’m not marrying Zander. I can’t.”

“Precisely why this can’t work. Our love can’t be what starts a war. You’re just learning the inner workings of death and the power that comes with it. Every day things grow more disorderly. The hallows multiply faster than we can abolish them. It’s not getting easier, and these games we’re playing with each other are only making it harder. I need to remove myself from the equation.”

Something awful unfurled in my stomach. “You can’t be serious. What about ‘love conquers all’ and that bullshit?”

His lips drew into a straight line. “It’s because I love you that I have to leave.”

Panic erupted. The idea of not having Zane sent me into a tizzy. “You’re unbelievable.” I wanted to slap some common sense into him. Actually, I just wanted to slap him. Flattening my palms on his chest, I pushed. “Go. Leave then.” Even as the words were leaving my mouth, I knew it was the last thing I wanted.

Regret seeped into his eyes. “Piper—”

I wasn’t having any of it. This was his choice. Anger whipped through me, overshadowing the deep ache in my chest. “I don’t need your pity or your protection. I don’t need you—”

He was gone before I finished my sentence. I turned around, hoping, but he was nowhere to be found. Zane had left. And this time, I had a feeling it was for good. He was leaving Raven Hallow. Leaving me.

The pang in my chest started to spread and tears filled my eyes as I took a step down the long hallway. I’d finally realized the depths of what I felt for him and got the courage to tell him. What did he do? He ran away. A dark, depression descended and the light inside me extinguished.

Chapter 20

I poked around in the kitchen like a zombie, rummaging in the cabinets and then in the fridge, each time forgetting what I was looking for. There was this hole in my chest and a weird throbbing in my head.

And it was all Zane’s fault. No one called more truly to my soul. No one could hurt me more.

The back of my eyes ached as if another round of tears would fall. My whole life felt out of sorts. Jumbled. A mess. Before, I’d had purpose.

No longer hungry, I left the kitchen and kept going. Right out the front door, out the gate, and down to the beach. I wandered aimlessly, no destination in mind, but needing the fresh air. The truth was hard to face. I didn’t want to believe he could up and leave so easily, not when inside I was torn apart. How could he claim to feel more for me? It wasn’t possible, because the clog of emotions seemed to get heavier and more intense the longer he was gone.

There was no escaping it.

No matter how far I traveled, the ache was ever present in my heart.

As I walked along the postcard island, down by the harbor, a pair of crows circled my head. Every so often I glanced over my shoulder half expecting Zane to appear and scold me. Each time I was sadly disappointed. He was nowhere to be found.

The little shops were tidy and prim, their colors faded by the sun and sea, but only adding charm. Cobblestone and wood lined the streets, curving down to the docks. If I didn’t know better, I would think Raven Hallow was the perfect little town. White picket fence. Dogs barking. Kids riding their bikes down the boardwalk.

But I did know better, shattering the picture perfect image.

Zane was really gone.

I sensed it deep inside me. That shimmery light in my heart was fading.

The sun was setting over the horizon, casting oranges and pinks over the water by the time I started back down the beach. I dug my feet into the sand, staring at the waves cresting and falling. If I ever needed my mom, now was the time.

Could I summon her as I had before?

Cool evening air caressed my skin as I waited. I called her name over and over again, wishing on every star in the sky to see her face. The sand began to chill my feet, but I didn’t mind. My concentration wasn’t on my body temperature, but why she wasn’t answering me.

I knew I had it in me. I’d done it before…accidentally. You would think by now it would come easier. I was tired of stumbling my way through this reaper stuff. Only a month left of summer and with it came the expectation of my marriage.

A white mist hovered slightly over the water lit by the moon, teasing between the dark summer leaves. Sounds of the wind, the sea, and the rocks, were a soothing lullaby against the primitive island. It almost seemed normal to see a ghost or the Headless Horseman.

I was about ready to give up on her when, the mist slowly began to take a shape. It rose about the water, moving toward me in a billow. I held my breath, waiting.

She looked impossibly beautiful, the gold of her hair silvered in starlight, and her skin shimmered milky under the moon’s glow. When her gaze met mine across the water, a power so intense burned in my blood. For a moment, I swore the whole of her sparkled.

“Mom.” I sighed. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come.”

“Traveling in the afterlife is very different than on Earth. But I am here, for the moment.” Her eyes sharpened. “What is wrong?”

I didn’t know where to start, but then I began to ramble. Random stuff came out of my mouth, and I couldn’t stop it. “Parker showed up. Can you believe that? Just when I thought everyone was safe. Then, he goes and gets himself killed. Thank God Rose showed up, and I miraculously was able to restore his soul. It was mind blowing. I can’t believe I have the power to do that. Me. Of course just when things seem to be going my way, it all blows back in my face. Zane and Parker hate each other. And then, I finally get the nerve to tell Zane I love him and the jerk leaves.”

Tenderness crept over her eyes as she floated down beside me on the beach. “Take a breath.”

I did as she instructed, feeling like I’d run a marathon. “I don’t think I can do this. Not without him.”

“Oh, Piper, I know it must feel like your world is ending, and it would be foolish of me to dismiss what you’re feeling. Love can be glorious and dazzling. But it can also hurt like a bitch, more so for you and Zane. The affinity of your souls ties Zane to you, and the love you both share only tightens that connection of your souls.”

The tears were threatening to come back. “How could he leave then?”

Mom smiled sadly. “I don’t know. It could be the feelings he has for you have shaken him up—scare him.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Zane isn’t afraid of anything.”

“Except maybe losing you?” she offered.

My fingers spread into the sand, letting the granules slip through. “Well, he has a shitty way of showing it.”

“He’s a guy. It takes them longer to catch up,” she said, a twist to her lips.

Mom had a way of putting things into perspective. “The thing is, I’m short on time.”

“Give him a little bit of space. My bet is he’ll come back.”

I wasn’t so sure.

“In the meantime,” she continued, “remember who you are. What you need to do.”

“Zane says the hallows are getting out of control, that their numbers are increasing.” I looked to her for affirmation.

She nodded. “He’s right.”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Frustration and fear seeped into my voice. Our mother-daughter talk wasn’t only about boys; it was about something bigger than my broken heart.

Her fingers brushed over my hair as lightly as the mist drifting on the surface of the sea. “You’re asking the wrong Raven. That is a question more suited for your grandma. I do know it’s a problem you can’t ignore. Reapers are dwindling, and unfortunately they’re the only beings able to deal with the hallows.”

That got me thinking. “Are you a hallow?”

She smiled. “No. It’s part of your ability. Because a piece of me lives in you, you’re able to summon your predecessors.”

“All of them?”

“Weird, huh?”

To say the least. “That’s kind of…creepy.”

She laughed. “I always thought so too.”

Our grins mirrored each other as we each took a memory snapshot, for our time was coming to an end. She slowly faded away, the mist thickening and swallowing her form. My heart was heavy, but knowing she wasn’t truly lost from me lessened the ache.

“Piper, are you okay?”

I blinked and focused on Parker. He was sitting beside me, his straw-colored hair blowing in the breeze. “I will be, I think.”

His shoulder brushed up against mine. “You’re sure?”

A whirl of emotions crashed into me, but I pushed them aside—for the moment. “You don’t need to worry about Zane anymore. He’s gone.”

“First smart thing I’ve seen the guy do.” It was an offhanded comment, not really meant to hurt me, but I lost it.

Tears erupted like a volcano, burning down my cheeks.

“Oh shit. Piper, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” His arm went around me, enveloping me in his embrace.

I buried my face in his shirt. He may not understand what I was feeling or the choices I’d made, but Parker was always there for me. It meant more to me than he realized. I grabbed a handful of his shirt and held on. “It’s not you,” I muttered against his chest.

He held me close. “That’s a comfort.”

I sniffled, lifting my head. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Maybe Parker coming here had been fate.

“I’ve been trying to tell you that.”

“Sorry, it took me so long to listen.”

“Don’t sweat it. Everyone deserves a mental breakdown once in a while.”

I hugged my knees to my chest, staring at the horizon, where the stars met the ocean. “I saw my mom.”

His mouth dropped. “Holy crap. Are you serious? Is that a reaper benefit?”

“Yeah, it appears so.”

“What did she say?” he asked. Parker was family. I knew he missed my mom.

“What I needed to hear.” Raven Hallow was my home.

Chapter 21

Days went by. And each started out the same as the one before. It took a few minutes after waking for me to realize Zane was still gone. Then the sinking feeling in my stomach returned, growing more prominent every day.

A frosty air had developed between Parker and me. He didn’t understand my world or why I wouldn’t leave this place, how I couldn’t leave. All he saw was how hard I pushed myself each day, learning, training until the point of sheer exhaustion. It was the only way I could get through the day.

My heart ached.

Zander had picked up where Zane had left off in my combat and magical skills. It was actually easier working with Zander. I didn’t have to worry about keeping my emotions in check. I didn’t have to think about us accidently merging our souls. Zander was a patient and systematic instructor.

As the days passed, I kept waiting for the attacks from either the rebels or the hallows. When they didn’t storm the manor or the country club, I let myself breathe a little easier. But Zander never let his guard down. I had to give it to him. He handled our situation better than I did.

“Where’s your sidekick today?” Zander asked as I threw my hair into a messy ponytail.

Most days Parker came with me to practice. “He’s with Zoe today. I’m meeting them later.”

The edges of his lips bowed. “I can’t believe you left him in her care.”

My brows burrowed together. “She was too excited when she suggested they hang out.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s his heart I’d be concerned about.”

I scrunched my nose, making an ugly face. “Are you suggesting that Zoe is interested in Parker?”

He rolled his eyes. “No guy is safe around my sister.”

“That’s comforting,” I said, my lips thinning.

Zander grinned.

I wanted to smack him for putting the image in my head. Zoe was the closest friend I had on the island and Parker was my oldest friend. The two of them were not allowed to be into each other. Gross. Anyway, Parker was still hung up on me. Right?

Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure.

Zander tweaked the tip of my nose. “You’re stressing.”

“I am not,” I argued, lifting my eyes to meet his.

“Those lines folding over on your forehead say otherwise.”

“So shoot me.”

He was getting used to my sarcastic nature. “Nah. How about we work the tension out of your body? Which one do you want? Physical? Or mental?”

“I choose C. None of the above.”

“Did you say
all
of the above? I knew you were an overachiever.”

I folded my arms. “Someone took their funny pills today.” We were more comfortable with each other, and every day before we got down to business, I asked Zane the same thing. “Have you seen any hallows?” I bent down to tie the laces on my shoe that had unraveled.

“No.” I don’t know why I expected a different answer.

Standing up, I asked. “It’s got you on edge too?”

He tried to hide his concern from me. “Yeah.” I could see a multitude of thoughts running through his mind. He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not like them to be so quiet. The longer we go without an attack, the more I’m sure something is brewing.”

“What are we going to do?”

Zander projected a determination that put mine to shame. “Nothing at the moment. You’re going to dazzle me with your incredible skills.”

I busted out laughing. “You must have me mixed up with another raven. We’ve been at this for a week and I haven’t been able to do squat. It’s embarrassing.”

His gym shoes squished on the floor mats as he walked toward me. He hadn’t been kidding. “The only thing you have to be embarrassed about is quitting.”

Subtly didn’t run in the Hunters’ genes. I huffed. “Whatever. Don’t make me say I told you so.”

“You can do this,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

I was getting sick of hearing his optimism, because I hated disappointing him. It was a basic reaper skill, to be able to summon your power into a tangible force. For me, it wasn’t so basic.

There was a static charge from his touch, but it was faint in comparison to others I’d felt with a certain He-who-won’t-be-named. “Sure,” I replied flatly.

“Our abilities are like an extension of us. I want you to tap into your core and send it outside of you. You’ve done it before. Now I want you to control it.”

The corner of my lips curved. “You get that I have no idea what you just said.”

“The how isn’t as important as the doing. Now clear your head and call forth the core,” he instructed.

Conjuring my core power was a simple task. It was everything after that was the problem, but I did as he asked, concentrating on the light slowly filling me from the inside out.

“Okay, good. Hold out your arms.”

Nodding, I obeyed. I was afraid to speak and break my control.

His fingers wrapped lightly around my wrists, and I could feel an underlying hum of his power buzzing at the surface. “I want you to close your eyes and picture in your mind the light gathering in the palm or your hands. It won’t hurt you, but the light is intense and bright.”

Pain wasn’t something I associated with the power inside me, more like ecstasy. I took a deep breath, picturing my hands glowing with perfect spheres of light. I looked like a Christmas ornament.

“Do you see it?” he asked softly.

The smile that had started to spread on my lips faded. I did. The light was so brilliant that its rays shone behind my lids.

“Open your eyes, Piper,” Zander whispered. There was something in his tone that had my blood racing.

When I did, the entire two-story room was encompassed in ribbons of white extending from my hands and rising up over my head in a blinding light. I was mesmerized. Eyes wide, I watched as I moved my hands, the ribbons swirling with my movements, mimicking them.

Holy Toledo.
Just as Zander had said, the light was an extension of me. It flexed and bent to my will. A supreme thrill spun through me.

“I can’t believe I actually did that.” I almost started jumping and squealing. And because I couldn’t resist, I threw my arms around Zander, giving him a quick hug. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without him.

“You’re not done yet.” His voice was steady through the seductive haze. I felt his gaze on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop staring at the glittering light. “I want you to turn it into a weapon. It doesn’t matter what type, only the strength you put into it.”

My mind immediately thought of Zane and how he controlled his shadows. I’d seen him turn them into anything he wanted. Whips. Swords. Even the scythe he was so adeptly called. Glamour of my power danced around me, powerful and raw. This time I kept my eyes open, beckoning the light to alter its form—a shape I pictured in my head. I about lost my hold when the beams started to ripple. This was seriously amazing. It was kind of like drawing, but in my mind.

With a sense of euphoria, I watched as two sleek and powerful blades shimmered in each of my hands. They were made of a material that didn’t exist on Earth. Alabaster in color, but without a solid form, the daggers looked as if I could pass my hand through them. But as I wielded them in my hands, testing their weight, I knew without a doubt, they were meant to kill.

“Show-off,” Zander grinned.

And I grinned back.

A mixture of pride and satisfaction reflected in his soft blue eyes. “Nice work. I knew you had it in you.”

My heart warmed, and I turned, immediately searching for Zane. I wanted to share the rush of my accomplishment. It took a few blinks before I remembered he was gone. He’d missed it.

Wow. The one time I actually did something completely on my own, and he wasn’t here to see it. How the heck was I supposed to gloat?

“Piper,” Zander called gently. “You okay?”

I wasn’t sure I would ever be okay again, but that was not what I said. “Yeah.” I dragged a few deep breaths and faced him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I knew what he was asking. I choked out a laugh. “About your brother bailing on me? No. Not really.”

Zander was silent for a few moments, which was about all he could handle of stillness. “Good, because I don’t want to talk about the stubborn mule either.”

“You mean jackass?”

He nodded. “You have such a way with words.”

The blades had doused at my extreme disappointment. “I’m going to make such an exceptional leader,” I said sarcastically.

“Regardless of your vibrant vocab, I think you have what it takes.”

I sat on the ground, right in the middle of the mats and crossed my legs. “That makes one of us.”

He followed suit, plopping down in front of me. Well, Zander didn’t exactly plop. “Since we’ve already made it completely awkward in here,” he said, “I have an unconventional lesson, but I think it’s necessary.”

I opened and closed my hands as I looked at him. They were tingling. “Now I’m nervous.”

I could tell he was as well. His Celtic accent thickened. It was kinda cute. “During the coronation, certain things are going to be expected from us?”

“Like?” Since Zane left, I’d more or less resigned my fate to marrying Zander. If he wasn’t willing to fight for us, why should I?

“We’ll be expected to announce our engagement.” This I knew. I got the feeling he was beating around the bush. He wiped his palms over his knees. “And we’ll have to…kiss.”

“Kiss?” I echoed. My voice went up an uncomfortable ten notches. Talk about a buzzkill.

He nodded. “It’s part of the custom, to seal our fates and our commitment to keeping the reaper line pure.”

I really didn’t want to consider Zander and me making babies, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “What do you mean pure?”

“It’s what we are—reapers born from undiluted bloodlines. Our children will be powerful, ensuring their place.” He tripped ever so slightly over the mention of our offspring.

Customs suck. I couldn’t believe we were having this discussion. It was almost comical. “So you want to practice kissing?” My palms started to sweat.

He shrugged. “I figured it might be less awkward if it wasn’t our first time.”

I’ll say
. Who knows how I would have reacted. Slapping your fiancé across the cheek after he plants one on you doesn’t exactly scream affection, although I’m not sure anyone expected me to be in love with Zander. “Why does this sound like I’m in junior high and we’re about to go into the closet?”

He grinned in a way that was both sheepish and devilish. “I swear it’s not…mostly. I’d be lying if I said I never thought about kissing you. I mean, look at you.”

I blushed, assuming that was a compliment. “Thanks. I think.”

“Would you feel better if we used the closet?” he joked, attempting to lighten the mood.

I was never happier Parker was otherwise occupied and Zane was gone. It was uncomfortable enough as it was. Thankfully, we had the training room to ourselves, which was rare. I smiled. “Probably.”

He leaned forward, and all I could think was we were really going to do this. My breath slowed and curiosity filled me. Would it be like kissing Zane? Would my pulse race? Would the world drown out around me?

Something told me no one would make the world burn as Zane did, and this foolish idea he could make me forget Zane was just that. Foolish.

We connected all right. Our noses. I couldn’t help but giggle. This was not going smoothly.

A rueful smile quirked his lips. “Maybe I should try the sneak attack.”

“If you keep making me laugh, I’ll end up biting your lip.”

“Sounds kinky.”

OMG, is he flirting with me?

He arched a brow. “Let’s try this again?”

I nodded, wetting my lips.

His hand found my check, and I closed my eyes. Lightly, his lips brushed over mine. Believe it or not, my hands didn’t itch to crack him across the cheek. His lips were soft and gentle, testing my response. The kiss was nice. He didn’t slobber all over me or try to invade my mouth with his tongue. But, no matter how much I wanted to lose myself in the kiss, I couldn’t. It lacked something—that sweep-me-off-my-feet punch.

I wanted to curse Zane to seven different kinds of Hell even as I kissed Zander back.

He whispered my name, and his hands dropped to my waist as his lips swept over mine for a second time. I placed my hand on his shoulder, unsure if I was going to pull him closer or push him away.

I didn’t have to make a choice. We were no longer alone.

“’Bout time you put the moves on her.”

Zander and I sprung away at the sound of Zoe’s voice. Parker was scowling beside her, looking down at Zander. His feelings for the eldest Hunter were only slightly less hateful than for Zane. You could say they tolerated each other. I didn’t see a budding friendship developing anytime soon.

So much for privacy.

I was thankful for the interruption. It saved me from having to deal with the after-kiss awkwardness. My cheeks decided to turn five shades of red. I lowered my chin.