The Real Soccer Moms of Beaver County (19 page)

S
ushi
Sadness

We didn't talk about Miles parents while he drove us to the apartment to change, and so Harry could shower. We didn't say a word when Harry came out of the bathroom dressed in a three-piece suit that was Brady's when he was a kid. Nothing as we strolled the aisles at Wal-Mart for an hour until Harry found the perfect Princess dress up set for Sadie.

No, Miles didn't say anything until we pulled into Clancy's house, and Brannigan and Harry jumped out of the car. When it was just us.

"I’m sorry about my parents, Moira, obviously I had no idea they were going to be there," he said.

"I know. And you didn't know Harry was going to act like a jackass either," I said.

Miles laughed, shaking his head. "That was the highlight of my whole day. The last time I'd seen my dad that embarrassed was when I told his friends I wasn't playing football in favor of going to science camp."

"At least your dad tried to get you into something that wasn't just pole dancing," I muttered.

Miles put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. "Hey, we all have parents that fuck us up. The best we can do is try not to continue the cycle and ruin our kids. Brannigan and Harry are good kids, Mo. Not your fault you had shitty men in your life before. All you can do is be the best mom for them, and I think you do a pretty good job."

"You're so full of shit," I said with a smile into his lips before lightly kissing them.

"I swear it's the truth. You're a good mom and one hell of a good girlfriend for putting up with me," he said placing a kiss on my lips.

"So we're girlfriend and boyfriend now? Is that how this works?" I asked, kissing him again.

"I haven't done much dating, but I figured that regular fucking was considered that. If you need me to dig out my high school class ring and do some big asking thing with roses in the middle of the eighth grade hallway, I can do that too," he said.

I leaned in and nibbled at his bottom lip. "I think we've sufficiently achieved boyfriend and girlfriend level. No class ring and roses needed."

Miles pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Someday I'll give you all the roses, rings, and everything. You deserve that and more with everything you've been through."

I smiled. "I’m happy just as we are."

With that I leaned and kissed him, my tongue sliding along his bottom lip before it met his.

I couldn't remember the last time someone referred to me as their girlfriend. Doug didn't even grace me with that title after I was in labor for thirty-three hours with his daughter.

Before our make-out session could get too hot and heavy, the driver's door opened and Miles went tumbling out of the car with me on top of him.

When I untangled myself from Miles' long limbs, I looked up to see Queenie with his hand on his hip, and Annie next to him in a full blown geisha outfit with the kimono, makeup, and traditional Japanese updo.

"Really, Moira? In Clancy's driveway, no less," Queenie said, shaking his head.

I stood up, pulling my dress down. "We were just talking," I said.

"Just talking? In that dress and that hair? I don’t think so," Queenie said, looking over my yellow wrap dress and gladiator heels. It was one of my more modest outfits, but with the boob job my mother gave me as a high school graduation gift, every outfit made me look like I was going to the club. It didn't help that I was probably getting my period. My boobs were so freaking sore that I could barely let the shower water hit my nipples. I just prayed the red sea didn't show up during the party.

"If you two aren't knockin’ boots then let's go out back, Kitten. I've gotta see this shit show that Blanche spent five grand on," Queenie said, linking one arm with mine and the other with Annie.

"Five grand on a birthday party?" My eyes practically bugged out of my head and stayed that way, when we got to the backyard that had been transformed into a Japanese garden with pink and red paper lanterns hanging from every tree branch. There was a full sushi bar with a sushi chef behind it, at least a dozen tables set with pink table clothes, and expensive looking black china.

"Holy shit," I muttered.

I glanced around the elaborate decorations and spotted Harry talking to Sadie while they sat at what looked like a large Tappan table while a guy cooked in front of them.

Before I could walk toward them or find Brannigan in the crowd, a short woman in full geisha makeup approached me, shoving a tray of food under my nose.

The smell was enough to knock me off my feet.

"Spicy tuna roll, ma'am?" she asked, raising her thin eyebrows.

I shook my head because I was afraid if I opened my mouth, I'd puke.

"Are you okay, Moira? You're looking a little pale" Queenie asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah. I'm just going to use the restroom," I muttered before pushing past him and going toward the house.

I barely managed to get past Luna and Blanche, who were waving some paper fans, and made it into Clancy's meticulous house. Everything was refinished hardwood, crown molding, and things I’d only seen when stealing one of the neighbor's cable to watch HGTV.

I couldn't dwell on the fancy, high end kitchen or anything else. I had to run down the hall until I made it to the too-white bathroom and dry heaved in the toilet.

When I finally killed my throat, I sat back and sucked in a deep breath, letting my head hit the back of the wall.

That was when I heard voices in the next room. I was trying not to eavesdrop, but when they came closer to the door, I couldn't help but press my ear to it.

"Yeah, this is it, Brady," Clancy's voice rang through the wall.

"Holy shit, dude, you seriously did this up," Brady responded.

"Yeah, I figured I had to hit one out of the park for Sadie's birthday gift. Once she see's this bedroom, there's no way her and Blanche will say no to moving in."

I sucked in a deep breath. Holy shit. Clancy was going to ask Blanche to move in with him. Luna was moving into her dream house. And I was fucking the soccer coach. I didn't know what thought was making my head hurt more. Or maybe it was the tuna smell.

Once I heard Brady and Clancy's footfalls down the hall, I finally stood up on shaky legs and walked out of the bathroom. I could have gone outside, but I decided to take a quick peek at the room the two men were just in.

Clancy really had done up the place! All of the walls were painted in a mural to look like the California beaches with palm trees, water, and a sunset. There was a big clam shaped bed with a headboard that looked like it was made from tiny pearls. The whole room was complete with a desk, dresser, and nightstands made from drift wood. It was a little girl's perfect room, and I had to hold my breath so I wouldn't throw up all over it.

Rushing down the stairs, I almost ran boobs first into Blanche. "Moira, where did you run off to? You're going to miss the dance of the dragon!"

Blanche moved her hands in some weird maneuver that looked like fancy jazz hands.

"Sorry. Just not feeling all that great. Maybe I caught whatever bug Luna has," I said, holding onto my stomach.

Blanche nodded then smiled. "I’m sorry, honey. We have some pop in the cooler on the back deck if you think that'll help."

"Thanks, Blanche, but I think I'm going to see if Miles can take me home. I don't want to throw up on the dragon."

Blanche patted my back then looked from my face briefly to my stomach. "Okay, dear."

I was still unsure what to think of Blanche. If she looked at me with pity or as a real friend, but all I could think about, at that moment, was getting home and laying in bed.

Miles was on the deck talking to Luna and Brady. When I approached, Brady's eyes widened. "Shit, Moira, you look like death!"

Luna elbowed him in the stomach and he winced. "Sorry about him, he obviously left his manners in the Sake him and Clancy have been chugging."

"It's fine. I'm really not feeling well so I probably look the part. Miles, do you mind taking me and the kids home? Sorry, I just don’t want to get sick all over this beautiful party," I said.

Luna grabbed my hand. "We can take Harry and Brannigan home. My mom has the two youngest for the night, so we have room in the hearse," Luna said, like was completely normal that their family always piled in a hearse.

"Thanks," I say and Miles put his arm around me.

We said our goodbyes and headed toward the car. I pressed my head against the cool glass of the window and didn’t realize I'd fallen asleep, until Miles lightly tapped my shoulder. My eyes opened to see the old brown door to my apartment building.

"Damn, sorry I fell asleep. I hope I didn’t drool," I said, unbuckling my seatbelt.

Miles just smiled and got out of the car, going around the other side to open my door and help me out. Normally I might’ve opposed the gesture, but I was so tired that I leaned into him and let him walk me to the couch.

"Stay with me?" I whispered as he shut the door and guided me to the couch.

I'd never asked a man that, but even in my dry heaving state, there was something comforting about Miles presence.

He smiled and sat down on the couch next to me. "Always."

T
he Empty Cupboard

It had been a few days since Sadie's party and the sickness still hadn't gone away. It definitely wasn’t the tuna smell at that point.

I sat in my office, stuffing a deer for one of the local hunters. When I reached in and got a big hand full of the deer’s nuts, that was when I realized my period was late and so was the refill on my birth control, since I wasn't getting myself stuffed on the regular the last time the prescription was up.

"Fuck," I muttered and pulled my hand out of the deer's anus.

Washing my hands as quickly as I could, I made my way to the tiny bathroom we all shared. There was a small cupboard above the toilet that was always full of tampons and pregnancy tests, mainly since Luna kept popping out babies.

I opened the cabinet to find a shit ton of tampons and a box of pregnancy tests. I looked inside the pink box, expecting to see a few little wrapped pee sticks but instead found nothing.

"Fuck," I grumbled.

I could’ve walked to the Piggly Wiggly, but everyone knew me there and I couldn’t risk that exposure, preggers or not. I sucked in a deep breath, realizing I was going to need to borrow the hearse to drive into Dollywood and get a test at one of the big box stores there.

Letting out my breath, I exited the bathroom and walked around the corner to Luna's office. When I opened the door I didn’t expect Blanche and Luna to be huddled together, crying with their arms around each other.

I walked in and noticed two positive pregnancy tests sitting on the desk, which was kind of gross that they put their pee sticks there, but more importantly, TWO?

Blanche glanced at me over her shoulder then opened her mouth to speak but saw my eyes directly on the two positive pregnancy tests.

"I thought...Clancy...one...nut..." It was all I could stammer out.

Blanche sighed. "I did too. Especially after my miscarriage, I thought what the hell it's been two weeks and that's the safe time to have sex again’. I didn't think we needed protection but I guess I was wrong." She sniffed.

"And Luna?" I asked, turning toward her.

Luna shrugged. "I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. After this one, though, Brady gets a vasectomy."

"Are you two happy?" I asked.

Blanche smiled. "I think I'm in shock, but yes, Clancy's wanted a baby and I think Sadie will be thrilled."

Luna raised an eyebrow. "Did you need something or where you...?"

Luna looked at the pregnancy tests then my stomach.

Blanche screeched. "Are we all pg together?"

I held my hands up. "Whoa. Wait. I probably just ate some bad sushi, but I just wanted to be sure and we were out in the cupboard, so I wanted to borrow the keys to the hearse."

Blanche stood up. "First off, my sushi was fantastic, and second off, you're not borrowing the hearse."

I sighed. "Blanche, please."

Blanche picked up her car keys. "I’m driving you in the Escalade and we're all going together."

* * *

T
wenty minutes later
, I was crouched over the sticky toilet seat in the Wal-Mart bathroom with Blanche and Luna tapping their feet right outside the door.

"Has it been five minutes yet? Jesus, it has to be like thirty," Luna said, bouncing on one foot then the other.

The alarm went off on my phone and I picked up the pee stick, turning it over. Two pink lines stared back at me and I immediately dropped the stick, only to have it picked up by Luna.

"What the fuck?" I yelled.

Blanche kicked my door open and both women stared at me. "It's positive."

"I know," I said.

"Why won’t you look at anything but our shoes?" Luna asked.

I sigh. "With Brannigan it was an immediate 'oh fuck' mistake. With Harry it was even worse. But with this...I’m actually kind of..."

Blanche interrupted "Kind of what?"

I shrugged. "I think I’m happy? This is the first time I've been pregnant in a real relationship with a guy who loves me. Yet at the same time, he could just say "fuck it" and leave."

Luna crouched down in front of me. "Sweetie, Miles loves you, he isn’t going to do that."

I sighed. "I hope so."

Blanche stood next to Luna. "Only way to find out is to go tell him. Come on, let's go to his fancy Dollywood apartment."

I looked up at the pregnant beauty queen. "Are you serious right now?"

"Serious as sin, sweetheart. We'll wait in the car like we did for Luna, but us soccer moms gotta stick together. Through shitty ex-boyfriends and surprise pregnancies."