The Reluctant Bachelorette (35 page)

Jake continued to stare out the window, his hands resting low
on the steering wheel. “What gets me is that I had no idea. Looking back, I can
totally see it—the way you started joking around every time the topic got
serious or when I went in for a kiss—but at the time”—he shook his head
again—“how could I have been that clueless?” His gaze flickered to her for a
second and then back toward the building. “You should have told me, Taycee. I
would have told you.”

He sounded so sure, so confident, but would he have told her?
Really? He made it out to be so easy. So simple. Tell the truth. But life
wasn’t easy or simple. It was complex and hard and filled with a million
questions that had no clear answers. There were no directions or warnings that
stated, “This is what you should do” or, “Bad idea. You’ll be sorry.” Sometimes
you just had to make a decision and sometimes that decision was wrong.

Jake twisted his head to look at her. “Was any of it real? At
all?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “I do care about you. You’re the kind
of guy I would have fallen hard for if I hadn’t already . . .” She couldn’t
finish. The last thing he needed to hear right now was a reminder of why they’d
never had a chance.

Jake nodded again, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “Well,
as Jessa put it, what’s done is done. And since I can’t do anything to change
the past, I might as well do something to change the future.”

“Yeah,” Taycee said. “That sounds like something Jessa would
say. Only less dry and more abrupt.”

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth before his
expression turned solemn once more. “She was right, though. And since I’m the
type of guy who finishes what he starts, I’ll show up for the interview. I’ll
even play the part of the supportive, understanding, second-place bachelor who
is still mature enough to be happy for the bachelorette. Those farmers will not
lose that money because of me.”

Taycee felt a moment of relief before the pain struck—the kind
of pain that came from knowing she’d wounded someone who didn’t deserve it and
couldn’t do anything to fix it. There was no antiseptic or Band Aids to slap on
him, no words of comfort to offer, and no kiss to make it all better. All she
could do was walk away and let it heal on its own.

She wanted to tell him thank you. That he was a good man. That
even if things had worked out differently, she wouldn’t deserve him anyway. But
all of it sounded so trite—words meant to heal but really only made it worse.

With a tug on the handle, she pushed open the door. Stepping
out of the car, she gave him one last look that she hoped would convey her apologies
and gratitude. Then she left to go find Miles.

Taycee closed her apartment door with a soft click and leaned
back against it. Her head still throbbed and her body ached like she was coming
down with the flu. Her conversation with Miles had gone pretty much the same as
it had with Jake, although Miles had tried to joke off the hurt and lighten the
heady feeling in the room. But Taycee could still see the pain in his eyes.

With a sigh, she kicked one sandal off, and then the other.
Forcing her feet forward, she headed for her room.

“Hey sis.”

Taycee started as a dark shadow emerged from the kitchen
holding a drink. A Diet Coke. Caleb took a swig before leaning against the
doorway in the dim light. “About time you showed up,” he said.

Had it only been a few days ago that Caleb had dropped the
news of his engagement? It seemed like years. What had been such
earth-shattering news at the time was now a tiny weed in a meadow filled with
Stinging Nettle.

Taycee walked around the couch and plopped down, too tired to
remain standing. Her head fell forward in her hands. “I figured you’d gone back
to California.”

“Not yet.”

“Where’d you stay last night?”

“Luke’s.”

“Oh.” The one person Taycee couldn’t stop thinking about. Why
couldn’t Caleb have stayed at Luke’s another night? Why couldn’t he have
already flown back to Phoenix. She wasn’t in the mood for another argument or
to hear about yet another one of her many flaws. More than anything, she ached
to be alone. To curl up on her bed in her favorite yoga pants and let the
silence engulf her. “What do you want, Caleb?”

“To apologize.”

Taycee stilled at his words. Caleb was never serious. Even
when he messed up, he always found a way to apologize in a teasing way, as
though it would somehow speed up the process of things returning to “normal.”

She peeked at him, not quite sure how to take the sincerity.

He plopped down next to her. “Don’t be too shocked. Jenny told
me I needed to say sorry and make it sound like I meant it.” He paused, and
then quickly added, “Because I do.”

A laugh bubbled up inside of Taycee. The kind of frenzied
laugh that coupled humor with a desperate need for release. It started off as a
snicker and grew into a series of giggles.

“What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just loving the fact that there’s a girl out
there who can say jump and you ask how high.”

“As if,” he scoffed. “I just thought she happened to be right
about this. That’s all.”

The laughter died, and Taycee stared at her hands. “I can’t
believe you didn’t tell me before. I feel like I missed out on an important
chunk of your life.”

Caleb leaned against the back of the couch and propped his
feet on the coffee table. “It wasn’t that big of a chunk actually. I’ve known
her for a while, but we’ve only been going out a few months.”

Taycee twisted her head to study her brother. So much about
him was still the same. His care-for-nothing appearance. His dry sense of
humor. His laid-back attitude. But there was now  a depth to him that she
hadn’t noticed before. He’d grown up a little—not enough to change the things
Taycee loved most about him—but enough to add a level of maturity that
complimented him. Whoever this Jenny was, she’d been good for her brother. That
much was obvious.

“I want to meet her,” Taycee said.

“Why? So you can tell her she’s making a big mistake? I don’t
think so.”

A smile found its way to her mouth as she scooted over and laid
her head on Caleb’s shoulder. “No. So I can thank her.”

“Thank her?”

“For being a good influence on you.” Taycee paused. “And okay.
So maybe I do feel a duty to let her know what she’s getting herself into.”

Caleb’s arm locked around Taycee and a finger jabbed into her
armpit, making her squeal. “Stop it!” Taycee cried between painful giggles.

“Take it back.”

“Okay, okay, I take it back.” There was nothing worse than
being tickled by Caleb, especially since he wouldn’t stop until she finally did
as he asked.

He let her go. “Don’t ever forget that I will always be your
big brother.”

Taycee poked him in the stomach that had softened a little
over the years. “Big is right.”

“You’re asking for it.”

“I know, I know.” Once again, her head dropped to his shoulder
as she fought to keep her eyes open. Her body had never felt so tired. So
devoid of energy.

“So how’s Shelter’s bachelorette?” Caleb asked. It was like
he’d read her mind and asked the worst possible question he could have asked.

Taycee groaned. “Let’s just say I’ve made a mess of everything
and leave it at that.”

“How?”

“Don’t you understand what ‘leave it at that’ means?”

Caleb’s arm came around her once more, this time in a
side-hug. “Sounds like someone has some splainin’ to do.”

The last thing Taycee wanted was to relive the night all over
again. “No. If I tell you, you’re just going to do your best Dad rendition and
say, ‘Don’t you know that honesty’s the best policy?’ and make me wish I’d
never told you. So no, I’m not going to explain anything.”

“Hmm . . . Taycee Emerson actually lied?” Caleb grinned. “I
don’t believe it. What could you have possibly lied about?”

“It’s more about what I didn’t say than what I did.”

Caleb laughed. “And what, exactly, didn’t you say?” He made
her sound like a drama queen who was freaking out over a little white lie.

Taycee succumbed to the bait. “Only that I fell for a bachelor
who got voted off weeks ago while still dating the remaining bachelors, even
though I had no intention of ever getting serious with any of them.”

A grin spread across Caleb’s face as he pumped his fist in a
triumphant gesture. “It’s Luke, isn’t it? I knew it!” When he caught Taycee glaring,
the grin left his face and he quickly lowered his hand. Then he shrugged. “So
why not tell the truth now? Maybe if you fess up and explain what really
happened, people might actually understand. Okay, so maybe not the bachelors
that you’ve been stringing along, but the viewers might.”

“Might?” Taycee muttered. “There’s some encouragement for you.
Sure, I’ll just march into that interview and say, ‘Hey, sorry I lied to everyone,
but the truth is I’ve actually been in love with my brother’s best friend for
years, and now that he’s back and finally paying attention to me, I really
don’t care about the show or the rest of the bachelors anymore. But we still
need your money, so please vote anyway, even though whoever wins really isn’t
going to win anything.”

“Seriously?” Caleb asked. “You’ve liked Luke all this time?”

Taycee’s eyes closed. Out of all that, Caleb would zero in on
that one little bit. She blamed her exhaustion on her slip-up. Why did he have
to be such a lawyer anyway—always pressing for answers in a way that made
people blurt them out? “What am I going to do, Caleb? Even the truth won’t make
it okay. People are calling the show a fraud and asking for their money back.”

Caleb gave her shoulder a pat. “Stop beating yourself up about
it and just explain to everyone what really happened. That’s all they really
want anyway. A good, solid reason for your actions. Make them understand why
you did what you did and things will work out fine. You’ll see.”

No, she didn’t see—especially not when it came to Luke.

“I messed up with Luke, too,” Taycee admitted, knowing that
was the biggest reason for her misery. More than anyone else, she needed Luke
to listen, to understand, and to forgive.

“I’m beginning to feel like a broken record,” Caleb grumbled,
“so I’ll say this one more time and never again. Explain. And. Things. Will.
Be. Fine.”

If only it could be that easy.

O
n the set of
Wake Up Denver
,
Michael Roik leaned forward in his comfortable leather armchair. “So, Taycee,
what’s it like going from the beloved bachelorette saving her town, to someone
who manipulated the viewers by pretending to be something she’s not?”

Only an hour earlier, Taycee had walked into the studio with
some serious trepidation. She’d been interviewed by news stations before, but this
was different. It had a much larger audience and felt more intimidating. Now,
however, only ten minutes into the interview, her trepidation had been replaced
with anger. Michael had done nothing but attack her character and belittle
Shelter Springs.

“What did I pretend to be exactly?” she asked, her voice hard.

“Available.” The way he said it made it sound like she was an
idiot for not knowing that.

“But I
was
available.”

Michael settled back in his seat with a seedy smile. “Let me
tell you how this looks to the rest of us since you can’t seem to grasp the
implications.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say—“

“Twenty bachelors were initially chosen, but a couple weeks
before it began there was a last minute add-on. A bachelor from Shelter
Springs, of all places. And, according to several reliable sources, you were
the one who made that suggestion. Is that correct?”

Taycee shifted in her seat. Okay, so maybe it did look bad. “Yes,
but—“

“Here’s what people are saying,” Michael said. “That you had
feelings for Luke and possibly a relationship going on before the show started,
so it made sense to add him as one of the bachelors.” He leaned forward. “But
when he got voted off, that put a kink in your plans, didn’t it?”