The Reluctant Bachelorette (32 page)

But now that it had actually happened, it wasn’t nearly as
romantic as she once supposed. At the time, it had all been about her. About
popularity. About being the kind of girl that guys flocked around. Never had
she thought about the feelings of anyone but herself, or that dating more than
one guy would lead to having to choose one and hurt the other. Or worse, hurt
them both, which was the case now.

Jake and Miles were two good guys who didn’t deserve to fall
for a girl who was never really available.

Opening the door to her apartment, Taycee slung her purse over
a hook and walked toward the kitchen.

“About time you got home,” Caleb’s voice boomed, making her
jump and cover her pounding heart with her hand.

“Caleb! You have got to start calling first.”

He was lying on the couch with his ankles crossed and his arms
tucked behind the back of his head. “Sorry, sis. Couldn’t resist.”

Despite the scare, it was really good to see him. His presence
made her feel less alone, her apartment not so empty. Taycee plopped down on
the armrest next to him. “When did you get back?”

“A few hours ago.”

“Why don’t you ever let me know you’re coming? I would have
left some dinner for you in the fridge or something.”

Caleb sighed and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and
raking his fingers through his already mussed hair. “Then I wouldn’t get to
surprise you. It’s kind of fun seeing you jump.” He yawned. “I have to be in
Denver in the morning, but I should be finished by the end of the week. I thought
we could hang out this weekend.”

“I’d love that.” Taycee could really use some Caleb-time and
the distraction he’d undoubtedly bring, especially since she couldn’t spend the
time with Luke. Besides, If anyone could help her get beyond the guilt from her
dating deception, it was her brother.

“In fact,” Taycee said. “What about taking a few hours on
Saturday to check out some potential office spaces? I know you’re not ready to
make the move, but it never hurts to keep your eyes open, right?”

Caleb’s fingers scratched his head in a rapid, nervous
way—something he always did when he had something to say that she probably
wouldn’t want to hear. Her heart sank before he even started talking.

“Yeah, uh . . . well, that’s just it, Tace. I won’t need any
office space. I was planning to tell you before, but the truth is, I’ve been
offered an associate position at the firm I’m with, and I’ve decided to take
it.”

A hollow emptiness settled in Taycee’s stomach. Deep down, she’d
known something like this was coming, but that didn’t make it easy to hear. An
associate position. Permanent. Caleb wasn’t coming back. Like her parents, he
would never come back.

Her brother had been gone for years now. This shouldn’t be a
big deal. And yet the permanence of it
was
a big deal for her. For the
past few years, the hope that Caleb would one day move back—that something
would return to the way it used to be—had given Taycee the strength to get by
on her own. And now, all of a sudden, that strength felt depleted. As though she
was somehow more alone than she had been a minute before.

Why did everyone want to leave? Why did things have to keep
changing? Taycee wanted to rewind the clock back to a time when life was
simple. When the only worry was finding something to do to stave off boredom.

“How long have you known?” she asked, trying not to sound as
broken-hearted as she felt. The question hung in the air between them, like
dark gray clouds threatening rain.

”They made me an associate a few months ago.”

A lump lodged in her throat. A few months? Caleb had already
become an associate? “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

The nervous scratching came back. “I planned to. But every
time I started to tell you, you’d go off about when I’d be moving back and how
excited you were at the prospect. I just . . . didn’t have the heart.”

No matter how many times she swallowed, the lump remained. “So
instead you let me go on and on like some stupid moron.”

“That’s redundant.”

Taycee glared. “Not the time for jokes, Caleb.”

“Sorry.” He rubbed his fingers together, avoiding eye contact.

“Does Luke know?” She took his silence to mean yes. “Of course
he knows.” Taycee stood and started pacing the room. “Your former best friend.
The guy who left after high school without a backward glance. Who forgot us
both. Of course you told him before me—your own sister.”

“That’s exactly why I told him,” Caleb said, his voice growing
louder. “Because I knew he’d understand. You, on the other hand would make me
feel guilty. Like I’m deserting you.”

“I would not!”

“You are, Tace. Right now!” Caleb said. “It’s no wonder Luke
didn’t stay in touch. If he did, every time he contacted you he would have
gotten some sob story about how everyone wanted to leave and how things were
changing. He would have gotten the same guilt trip you’re giving me right now.”

“That’s not true,” Taycee snapped. “I’m not giving you a guilt
trip over leaving. I’m giving you a guilt trip over not telling me sooner. How
could you!”

 Caleb’s jaw clenched as he stood, making his way toward the
door. “For the same reason I never told you I’m also engaged.” He left the
apartment with a slam of the door, sounding almost like a crack of thunder.

Taycee felt like he’d just slugged her in the stomach. Caleb
was engaged? To who? There was no way he’d ever joke about something like that,
especially not in anger. Yet during all their conversations over the past
several months, not once had he ever mentioned a girl, let alone the fact that
he was thinking of marrying her. How long had they been engaged? Was a date
already set? A florist hired?

Caleb. Her only sibling. They’d been so close once upon a time,
telling each other everything. They used to stay up late into the night
talking, laughing, teasing. What happened? When had a chasm formed between them
and how had Taycee not noticed it until now? Had she really been so opposed to
change that her only brother didn’t feel like he could confide in her anymore?
Tell her that he was getting married?

Taycee had missed out on something special. Something important.
Something she’d never be able to get back. She’d always looked forward to the
time when Caleb started dating someone serious. She’d pictured him calling her,
telling her how excited he was and how much Taycee would love her. They’d talk
about how he would propose, how he needed to make it as unique and special as
possible. In fact, she had hundreds of possibilities stored in her head for
just such a conversation.

But none of those conversations would happen now. Taycee had
no idea how Caleb proposed, when he proposed, if he’d asked her father’s
permission and how that conversation went. She had no idea when they’d be
getting married or what her future sister-in-law was even like, let alone her
name.

The walls seemed to close in and around her. She couldn’t stay
here. Taycee’s hand shook as she fiddled with the door handle, finally throwing
it open. She charged into the warm summer air, hugging her arms against her
chest.

Her eyes stung as she headed down Main Street in the direction
of the park. The smells coming from the diner turned her stomach sour, so
Taycee darted across the street, ignoring the hellos of people she passed. She
jogged the rest of the way to the park and came to a stop beneath the large oak
tree that she and Luke and Caleb once spent hours climbing.

Her fingers dug into the crusty old bark as she pulled herself
up to the lowest branch, not caring about the scratches the rough branches left
on her legs. She climbed higher and higher, until all she could see were
patches of the town here and there through the dense foliage. There, in that
natural haven, Taycee let the sobs come.

She cried for all those lost moments, all the memories she
could have had but never would get. She cried until her eyes burned and the sky
glowed with the promise of a beautiful sunset. She cried until all her tears
were dried up.

“Is it safe to come up yet?” a voice came from below.

Taycee started, nearly losing her precarious hold on a branch.
She peered down through the leaves to where Luke stood almost directly below
her, his arm resting on a branch. The back of her hands wiped desperately at
her eyes as she sniffed. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” With an easy grace, Luke swung up into the tree
and slowly made his way to her, finally perching his body across from her. His
thumb grazed her cheek in a soft caress. “What happened?”

She sniffed again, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.
“Tell me the truth. Was I the reason you didn’t keep in touch?”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Why would you be the
reason?”

“Because you didn’t want me to make you feel guilty for
leaving.”

Luke chuckled, resting his hands on a tree branch above his
head. “Well, you did lay on the guilt a little thick before I left, but no,
that wasn’t the reason. I already told you why.”

“I know.” Taycee sniffed again. “I just needed to make sure.”

Luke nudged her foot with his. “What’s going on? I was in the
diner when you blew past earlier.”

“Caleb’s back.”

The leaves rustled in the silence. “I take it he finally told
you,” Luke said after a moment. “About time.”

“You should have told me.” Taycee felt more miserable than
ever. “I can’t believe my own brother couldn’t bring himself to tell me that he
was engaged or that he wanted to remain in Phoenix. I didn’t even know he was
dating anyone or that he wanted to stay with his firm. How could he think that
I’d make him feel guilty for choosing happiness over me? I don’t understand.”

Luke’s sneaker nudged hers once again. “Are you looking for an
answer or are you just venting?”

“Both.”

“Well,” he said. “I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t my news
to tell. And yes, he mistakenly did believe you’d lay on the guilt.”

Taycee sniffed yet again, wishing she’d brought some tissue.
“Just because I don’t like change doesn’t mean I’m incapable of dealing with it
when it comes. Yes, it was hard to hear that he’s getting married and planning
to stay in Phoenix, but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for him.” Taycee
paused, blinking back the tears. “Caleb’s finally getting married. I should
have been one of the first to know, not the last. It just . . . hurts.”

Luke shifted to a closer branch and reached for her hand,
rubbing circles on her palm. “Hurting you was the last thing he wanted to do.
That’s why he had a hard time telling you.”

Taycee frowned at the fading light peeking through the leaves.
In a way, she could understand that. She’d created expectations in her mind
about Caleb. About life. About the way things should be. But she’d also learned
a long time ago that change was inevitable, and, like the wind, Taycee had no
control over which direction people went. It was a hard lesson, and one she
continued to struggle with, but she would have been happy for Caleb.

She
was
happy for Caleb.

“Maybe it’s me who needs to get out of Shelter,” she mumbled,
more to herself.

“Oh no you don’t,” Luke said. “You aren’t going anywhere, not
if I have anything to say about it.” His words, combined with the teasing glint
in his eyes, were like a kiss on a bruised knee. It almost produced a smile.

Almost.

“Now who’s being controlling?” Taycee said.

“I learned from the best.”

This time, a small smile formed. “Not nice.”

Luke grabbed a limb and swung down to a lower branch, holding
a hand out to Taycee. “Personally, I think hanging out in a tree is over-rated.
There’s really no view to speak of and the branches are scratchy.”

Taycee simultaneously laughed and sniffed. She placed her hand
in his, and together they climbed down the tree. Luke dropped to the ground
first, and then held up both hands, slowly easing Taycee to the ground. When
her feet hit the grass, his arms went around her, pulling her close until their
noses touched. “Want to know something?”

“What?”

“I kind of like you,” he whispered.

“Just kind of?”

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Well, maybe a
little more than that.” In an instant, his mouth met hers in a healing kiss
that eased her pain and infused her body with warmth. Peace. Joy. He was
exactly what she needed right now—the reminder that there was still something
right in her life.

His lips eased off hers, and he hugged her to him.

“I kind of like you too,” Taycee mumbled into his shirt, suddenly
remembering the promise she’d made to Jessa to stay away from him. She wanted
to push the thought back, keep it hidden for just awhile longer. But it was too
late. Her conscience was already prodding her in an annoying way.

“I should go,” Taycee finally said. ”Jessa would kill me if
she saw me here with you.”

“Forget Jessa and that stupid show,” Luke said. But his hands
slid from around her back, rubbing up and down her arms before they finally
fell away.

It took all of Taycee’s will power not to throw herself back
into his arms. She searched his eyes instead. Only one more week. Seven days.
That was it.

It seemed like a lifetime.

“Thank you, Luke.”

“Anytime.”