The Rock'n'Roll Romance Box Set (Pam Howes Rock'n'Roll Romance Series) (111 page)

‘Dad! Forty-two’s a bit old to be
slipping up.’

‘You’re right, it is, but it
happened.’

Sammy brought the glasses of
brandy in. Roy knocked his back.
Harley and Sammy sat side by side, sipping slowly at theirs.
 

‘Did
you
ever not want me, Dad?’ Harley asked; a challenge in her eyes.
‘You know, with me being so obviously an inconvenient accident!’

‘I always wanted you,’ Roy
lied, pushing the fact he’d demanded Livvy have an abortion to the back of his
mind. ‘But I couldn’t leave Sammy to marry your mother. We’d just lost Nick
when she announced she was pregnant.’

‘Neat timing!’ Harley sniffed and
reached for a tissue. ‘So, was I your Nick substitute?’
 

‘Of course not,’ Sammy said. ‘No
one could be a substitute for Nick. He was unique, like Jason is, and like you
are.’

Roy
watched silently as Harley chewed on her lips and stared at the ceiling for a
long moment. This was all his fault and he’d only just scratched the surface.
He felt totally inadequate to deal with it. He’d already turned his daughter’s
world upside down and devastated his wife, yet again. He was sure he was about
to chuck up his lunch at any minute. Then Harley took a deep breath and
spoke.
  

‘You said my mother’s coming to Manchester
and might want to see me? Why now? How come she hasn’t been in touch
before?’
   

‘She
has
been in touch,’ Roy
admitted, putting his arm around her. ‘Every single year she’s sent you birthday
and Christmas cards and letters and photos.’

‘What?’ Harley pulled away from
him. ‘So why have you never showed them to me?’

He hung his head. ‘Because I was
terrified of losing you. I’m not proud of it. People do strange things when
someone they love is involved, and
I
love
you
to distraction.’ He turned
to Sammy, tears running down his face. ‘Will you go upstairs and get me the box
of cards and things, please?’

Sammy nodded and left the room
sobbing.

Harley stared after her. ‘Oh, Dad,
what have you done? I can’t believe she’s not my mum.’

‘Sammy
is
your mum, in every way other than that she didn’t actually give
birth to you. She watched you come into the world and held you in her arms when
you were only minutes old. She loves you to bits. This is really hard for her,
too.’
   

‘You mean she was in the delivery
room, watching
your
girlfriend giving
birth to
your
baby?’ Harley gasped.

‘No, it wasn’t quite like that.
You arrived in the back of Jane and Ed’s Jeep.’ He told her the details of the
events leading up to her birth and she sat open mouthed, shaking her head.
Sammy walked back into the room with the box and he sighed with relief as she
took a seat beside him. He squeezed her hand. He needed her there.

‘So - does she have a name, this
mother of mine?’ Harley asked.

‘Her name’s Olivia,’ Roy
replied. From the box he produced the most recent photograph of Livvy and her
family.

‘But that’s Livvy Grant,’ Harley
exclaimed. ‘The singer with
Juice
.’

Roy
nodded slowly. ‘Livvy Grant is your mother.’

‘Yeah right - course she is! You
told me she was young and single. Quit winding me up, Dad!’

‘She
was
young and single back then,’ Roy
replied. ‘She’s only thirty-eight now. She’s married to property tycoon Danny
McVey. The young girl in the photograph is your half- sister, their daughter
Courtney. They live in Orange County.’

Harley looked at Sammy. ‘Is this
true, or am I dreaming?’

‘I only wish you were, Harley,’
Sammy said, wiping her eyes on a sodden tissue. ‘Believe me, everything your
dad’s telling you is the truth. I am so, so sorry you’ve had to find out this
way.’
   

‘Livvy Grant is
my
mother?’ Harley shook her head in
disbelief. ‘Are you
sure
it’s her?’

‘That’s the sort of question
usually relating to the father,’ Roy
answered.
     

‘How stupid of me. I can’t think
straight. Will you tell me everything, Dad, right from the word go? I want to
know what happened. Why you had an affair in the first place when you love Mum
so much and why you haven’t told
me
before now. Be honest with me, please. You owe me that much. Mum - you still
want to be my mum, don’t you?’ Harley looked at Sammy with a pleading
expression. ‘She can’t take me away from you, can she?’

‘Of course I still want to be your
mum. No one can take you away from us, Harley, unless you want to go. I feel
terrible that we’ve kept this from you. I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive
us.’

‘I don’t want to live in America.’
Harley’s tears started again. ‘I can’t leave you and Dad. Jason and Jules need
me to be Auntie to their new baby. I can’t
possibly
leave Jack because
he
needs me, too.’
She sobbed into the front of Roy’s
T-shirt. He held her until the tears subsided.

‘And
we
need
you
, Harley.’ He
tilted her chin with his finger and kissed the tip of her nose.

‘Does anyone else know about this,
Dad?’ she asked eventually.

‘Yeah, our close friends and the
family all know. Everyone else thinks your Sammy’s child.’

She nodded. ‘I can’t believe you
kept such an important thing from me – all of you. Did you never think that I
might want to meet my real mother? Maybe not to go and live with her, but to
know her all the same. The very fact she’s sent all these.’ She indicated the
cards, letters and photographs. ‘Surely that must mean something. That she
still cares about me.’
  

Roy
held his head in his hands. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,’ he sobbed. ‘I don’t know
what else to say to you. It was wrong of me to keep the letters and cards from
you. I promised Livvy I would tell you the truth when you were ten. But I just
couldn’t do it.’

‘Livvy must feel really bad that
you haven’t let me contact her,’ Harley said. ‘Maybe she thinks I got the cards
and I don’t want to know. Well you know what, Dad? I
do
want to see her.’ She jumped up and ran out of the room,
yelling, ‘I need some space. I’m going to my room.’

The door slammed and Roy
stared at Sammy. He made to go after Harley, but Sammy pulled him back.

‘Leave her for a minute or two.
Let her get her head around things, then go up and see her.’

‘She hates me,’ he cried. ‘I knew
she would.’

‘She doesn’t, but she’s a lost and
very hurt girl at the moment. She’s angry with both of us. I’m as bad as you
for keeping it from her. I knew this would happen, Roy.
You should have listened to me years ago and told her when she was ten. She
might have taken it better then. But no, you always think
you
know what’s right.’

‘Don’t you think I don’t know how
stupid I’ve been,’ he sobbed. ‘Now I’ve completely fucked everything up. She’ll
probably come down with her bags packed and demand to be taken to Livvy.’

‘She won’t.’ Sammy wiped her eyes.
‘I’m going to make a cup of tea. Give her five more minutes and then go up to
her. And get on your bloody knees if you have to.’

***

Sammy leant against the worktop,
waiting for the kettle to boil.
She
also
needed to clear her head. Hearing Roy
dredging up the details of his affair was almost more than she could bear.
She’d half hoped Harley wouldn’t want to know too much and that simply telling
her about her birth mother would be enough. Wishful thinking. Why wouldn’t the
girl want to know about her real mum? And that’s what hurt most. Sammy had
always looked on Harley as her own. She’d successfully blocked Livvy out of the
equation until Harley was ten - the time Roy
had promised he’d tell her the truth. Each year from then on she’d been expecting
contact of some sort. Roy had
bought them an extra six years by bottling out. It was wrong of him, but in a
small way she supposed she should be thankful for that. She would never be able
to truly put his affair behind her. Now that Livvy was coming back into their
lives, and despite Roy’s insistence that he wouldn’t see her alone, she had a
gut feeling that it was all going to kick off again and this time she’d be
powerless to stop it.’

***

Roy
tapped lightly on Harley’s bedroom door. There was no reply so he tried the
handle. She was on the bed, sobbing into her pillow. He pulled her to him and
cuddled her, crying with her. He sat for some time, rocking her until her sobs
subsided. He stroked her hair and wiped away her tears with his fingertips. His
stomach was in knots as he looked at her. She was the most precious thing in
his life. He’d do anything for her and it was killing him to see her so upset.
He thought about how Livvy must feel, each time she sent a card and got no
reply, and that made him feel bad all over again. He’d hurt so many people in
his life. It was time to start putting things right.

‘I love you, Princess,’ he
whispered into Harley’s hair. ‘I’ll make arrangements for you to see Livvy as
soon as she gets in touch next week.’

‘I love you too, Dad.’ She looked
at him and smiled through her tears. ‘Thank you. I still can’t believe that
she’s my mum. It feels so weird.’

‘I’m sure,’ he replied. ‘Just one
thing, don’t tell anyone just yet. For Mum’s sake really. Your mum Sammy, I
mean.’
  

‘I know you do.’
 

Are you coming downstairs now? Mum
was making a cuppa for us.’

She nodded. ‘I’m a bit peckish as
well. Didn’t have any lunch.’

‘Come on then.’ He pulled her to
her feet. ‘I’ll make you a sandwich and get a takeaway later. You can choose –
Indian or Chinese. We’ll have a family evening together, just the three of us.’

‘That’ll be nice,’ she said. ‘And
maybe we can finish reading Livvy’s letters and you can tell me all about her.’

***

CHAPTER SIX

GLASGOW
/ MARCH 2001

‘You absolutely sure I don’t look like
Livvy Grant?’ Livvy asked, climbing out of Sheena’s car.

‘You look fine, stop worrying,’
Sheena said. ‘Without all the makeup there’s a passing resemblance, but that’s
all.’

Livvy took a deep breath and
smiled at Courtney, who reached into the boot for an arrangement of pink roses,
tied up with a cream raffia bow. ‘See you later then. Thanks for the lift.’
They waved as Sheena sped away. ‘You ready for this, honey?’ Livvy tucked a
straying curl behind Courtney’s ear.

Courtney nodded. ‘I feel a bit
nervous. Hope my aunt likes the flowers.’

‘I’m sure she will. They’re
beautiful.’ Livvy looked up at the red-brick semi-detached house with its
neatly curtained windows and well tended front garden. ‘Come on, let’s go for
it.’ She rang the bell and stepped back. The inner door opened a fraction and
then wider as a tall woman, with a mass of red curls and a tentative smile
reached out and opened the porch door.

Livvy extended her hand. ‘Leanne?’

‘Marie? Oh my goodness, you’re
here! Come-away inside, do. Dad, Marie’s here.’ Leanne stepped back to let
Livvy and Courtney in. A tall, ginger haired man, with a lop-sided grin,
emerged from a door at the end of the hallway.

His face lit up and Livvy saw the
wonder in his green eyes as he stared at her and Courtney.
      

‘Marie, oh Marie, how wonderful to
meet you at last. Come through, both of you.’ He led the way into a comfortably
furnished sitting room, where a welcoming fire blazed in the cast iron
fireplace. He stood with his back to the coals, shaking his head as though he
couldn’t believe his eyes. He blinked away tears and held out his arms. Livvy
and Courtney moved into them. Courtney gave her grandfather a hug and a kiss on
the cheek, then stepped back to let her mother get closer. As he held her,
Livvy had an intense feeling of coming home. She sobbed against his chest,
releasing years of pent up sorrow. She felt no animosity towards this man who’d
had no choice but to give her away.

Leanne placed a reassuring arm
around Courtney’s shoulders. ‘Aren’t you pretty?
 
So blonde and you’ve a lovely tan. I look
like Casper next to you.’

Courtney smiled at her aunt, whose
green eyes twinkled kindly. ‘The roses are for you.’ She held out the bouquet.
‘I chose them specially.’

‘Oh, thank you, dear. They’re
lovely.’

‘You’re welcome. Where are my
cousins?’

‘At school, sweetheart. They’ll be
home soon. Everyone will be here for tea and then you can meet them all.’ She
turned to Livvy who was wiping her eyes on her father’s handkerchief. ‘We
thought it best the two of us greet you to start with so you wouldn’t be too
overwhelmed. I’ll make a cup of tea. Would you like to help me, Courtney? We’ll
find a vase for these beautiful roses. I adore pink.’

‘So does Mum, it’s her favourite
colour.’

As Courtney followed Leanne,
Livvy’s father gestured to a sofa at the side of the fireplace.
 

‘Make yourself comfortable, Marie.
You and Courtney are so like Gina, it quite takes my breath away. Oh, hen, if
only things could have been different.’

‘Please tell me all about Gina and
why,’ Livvy hesitated but knew she had to get this out. ‘And, and why you had
to give me away.’

Her father wiped his eyes and
sighed. ‘I’d love to, Marie. It’s not a long tale to tell, but it’s a sad one,
nevertheless. Me and Gina were very much in love. Her parents were against our
relationship from the start, said we were too young. Gina got pregnant when she
was fifteen and a half and I was just sixteen. Well, you can imagine, all hell
broke loose. I was banned from seeing her. Her father threatened me with
prosecution because of her age. Believe me, we wanted to keep you. We ran away
from home and slept rough in barns for a few days. But they tracked us down.
Gina was packed off to an unmarried mothers’ home.
 

‘She sent me the address. I hitched
up there at weekends and she’d sneak out and meet me when she was supposed to
be cleaning the church. After you were born I saw you once before you were
adopted. The girls were allowed to take their babies out on Sunday afternoons
you see.

‘Boyfriends appeared out of the
woodwork and we all paired off. Someone who worked at the home spotted Gina and
me and reported her to the nuns. She wasn’t allowed outside the grounds again
until the day you were taken away. I took a whole film of colour photographs
that Sunday. Would you like to see them, Marie?’

Livvy nodded, tears tumbling down
her cheeks.
 

Her father crossed the room to a
built in cupboard beside the chimney breast and took out a photograph album.
‘There’s a few photos in there of Gina and me during our courting days,’ he
said, handing Livvy the album.

She opened the book at the first
photographs of her parents - a tall, skinny, red-headed boy with a
face-splitting grin, standing alongside an attractive petite blonde who could
have been Courtney.
 

‘See how much you look like your
mother,’ he said softly as she turned the pages.

She smiled at pictures of herself
as a tiny baby with a heart-shaped face and wispy blonde hair. ‘I do,’ she
said, marvelling at the likeness. ‘I always wondered what you both looked like
and who
I
resembled.’

‘Well you’re Gina’s living image
and so is Courtney. Gina was beautiful, and do you know, she had a voice like
an angel. She used to sing her socks off at the youth club dances. She knew the
words to all the hit songs.
Bobby’s Girl,
Walkin’ Back to Happiness,
and
the rest! She was thirteen when I met
her and we were inseparable until that bastard of a father sent her away.’
 

‘Is she married now, to someone
else I mean?’
 
Livvy asked.

‘She was, but she’s divorced. Her
sister told me when she first went to Canada
she pined for you and me and made herself very ill. She wouldn’t eat or get out
of bed. She was sent to a mental hospital. When they let her out she got a job
waitressing, which her parents hated. She was a clever girl; would have done
well at college. I ruined her future. I’ve never stopped feeling bad about
that.

‘Anyway, she married a bartender
when she was eighteen. They had a son. Her marriage, like mine, only lasted a
few years. She now lives in Toronto.
Her son Joel’s in Vancouver.’

Livvy nodded, hardly daring to let
her thoughts run as wild as they were trying to. Her mother was free. There was
every chance they’d eventually get to meet.
       

‘I got all this information from
Gina’s sister,’ her father continued. ‘Gina wants to come home, but can’t
afford to. Her sister’s trying to raise the flight money, but
she’s
struggling. Her husband’s an
invalid you see and they get by on state benefits.
 

‘I injured my back a couple of
years ago and I only work part time now. If it wasn’t for Leanne and Peter
Junior I don’t know how I’d survive. I’m unable to make anything other than a
small contribution for the air fare.’

Livvy swallowed hard, her spirits
soaring by the second. This was her chance to help her family, but she didn’t
want to offend this proud man by flashing her money around just yet.

The sitting room door opened and
Leanne appeared, carrying a laden tray. Courtney followed with a milk jug and
sugar bowl. They put everything on the coffee table. Courtney flopped down on
the rug by Livvy’s feet.

‘Sorry we’ve been ages,’ Leanne
said. ‘We thought you two would like a bit of time alone. Do you want to pour,
Dad, or shall I?’

‘You be mother, I end up slopping
it all over.’

‘Courtney’s been telling me about
your home back in Orange County,
Marie. It sounds fabulous.’

Livvy nodded and looked warningly
at Courtney who’d been sworn to secrecy, for a while at least.

‘I told her about the horses and
how Mrs Grayson doesn’t buy cookies in packets like people here do. She makes
them herself from scratch,’ Courtney said, blushing slightly.

Livvy smiled reassuringly. ‘How
old are your children?’ she asked Leanne, changing the subject.

‘My daughter’s sixteen next week
and my wee son’s thirteen,’ she replied.
 
‘Our Peter’s two girls are the same age as my
kids.’
 

Livvy nodded. What a coincidence.
Her half-sister and sister-in-law had been pregnant at the same time as she’d
been with Harley. She could have shared her experience with them if things had
been different.

‘Peter’s collecting them all from
school later,’ Leanne said. ‘His wife Patsy will be here when she finishes work
and my husband Jamie will be home around five. That’s a full complement,
barring Granny. She’s in a nursing home. Dad will take you to see her, that’s
if you want to, of course. She’s still got all her marbles. She’s keen to tell
you it wasn’t
she
who insisted on the
adoption. Granny was willing to give you all a home in her front parlour, but
Gina’s parents wouldn’t listen. Her wish is to make peace with you before she
meets her maker.’

‘Oh, bless her.’ Livvy smiled. ‘I
don’t lay blame on anyone, Leanne. Things like this happened a lot back then,
still do sometimes.’

‘Well, you'd never catch me
putting a child up for adoption. It would break my heart.’

Livvy sighed. ‘I had a bad time
after my adoptive parents’ marriage ended. I was left with my father.’ She gave
them a brief outline of her life history, leaving out the main factors of
Harley, Roy and her fame and
wealth.

‘What does your husband do for a
living, Marie?’ her father asked.

‘He buys and sells property. I
suppose you’d call him an estate agent.’

‘Obviously a successful one,’
Leanne said. ‘You look very prosperous. Your clothes are lovely and your curls
are so well-cared for. Mine look like they’ve been put through a mangle!’

‘You can try some of my hair care
products,’ Livvy said. ‘They tame even Courtney’s wild mane.’

Voices in the hallway alerted
Leanne, who leapt up. ‘Coats on hooks and muddy shoes off before you come in
here,’ she called.

Four green-eyed teenagers, with
hair ranging in shades from strawberry blonde to deepest auburn, peered around
the door. They stared curiously at their new aunt and cousin.

‘This is,’ Leanne began, reeling
off names, ‘Claire and Simon, my two, and
Gemma and Louise, Peter’s daughters. And this is your brother.’ She pulled a
replica of their father into the sitting room. Peter’s jaw dropped as his eyes
caught Livvy’s. She was standing in the middle of the room, grinning from ear
to ear.

He composed himself and cleared
his throat. ‘Forgive me for staring, Marie, but has anyone ever told you that
you’re the spitting image of Livvy Grant, the singer with
Juice
?’

Livvy felt her cheeks warming as
all four children nodded their agreement.

Gemma spoke up. ‘Dad’s crazy about
Livvy Grant. Because she originates from Glasgow
he thinks he sees her everywhere. You must think he’s crackers, but actually,
he’s right, you
do
look very much
like her.’

Livvy felt Courtney squeezing her
hand. ‘Mom, tell them the truth.’

Leanne and her father stared at
Livvy. Her father spoke first.

‘The people who adopted you,
Marie, they were called Grant.’

Livvy nodded. ‘That’s right. They
changed my first name to Olivia.’

‘Oh my God! So you
are
Livvy Grant?’ An incredulous Peter
crossed the room in two strides and hugged her tightly. ‘My long lost sister is
Livvy Grant. Now I
know
I’ve died and
gone to heaven. I can’t believe this; wait until your mother gets here.’ He
turned to Gemma, who raised an amused eyebrow.
  

‘We’ll never here the end of
this.’ She shook Livvy by the hand. ‘Welcome to Scotland,
Aunt Livvy, and you too, Courtney.’

Leanne stared in total disbelief.
‘Why didn’t you tell us?’

Livvy shrugged. ‘I wanted to meet
you all as a normal person. I hadn’t bargained on my brother being a fan!’

‘I feel such an idiot for not
recognising you,’ her father said. ‘But then
I
was looking for a likeness of Gina and nothing else. Welcome to
our family, Livvy. Do you prefer that name to Marie?’

‘It’s all I’ve ever answered to,’
she replied, smiling with relief. ‘Now my secret’s out in the open, can we get
down to some serious talking?’

Leanne nodded. ‘I’m still reeling
from the shock. But of course we can. Where would you like to start?’
 

‘Tell me everything there is to
know about my family. What you all do to make a living, and, Dad,’ she turned
to Peter senior with a smile, ‘Is it okay to call you that?’

‘I’ve waited all my life to hear
it,’ he said.

‘Please tell me more about my mum.
Where I can find her and bring her home.’

Her father smiled warmly. ‘That
would make me very happy, Marie, err, Livvy. I’m sure it would mean the world
to Gina, too.’

‘Mum, I’m starving. Can we have
tea while you lot talk,’ Simon said, a bored expression on his face. ‘Once you
start blethering you never stop. We’ve only had an ant-sized pizza and chips
for dinner.’

Leanne laughed. ‘Cheeky, I never
blether. Go through to the dining room. Take Courtney with you. Everything’s
laid out buffet style. Claire, you take the cling film from over the dishes and
Simon, make sure you leave some for us.’

Courtney followed her newfound
cousins and Livvy looked at her father and half-siblings.
 
‘Apart from wanting to find you all, I have
another reason for coming to Britain,’
she began, as they sat forward on the edges of their seats. She explained about
Harley, but kept Roy’s identity to
herself. They nodded with understanding. Her father spoke up first.