The Rock'n'Roll Romance Box Set (Pam Howes Rock'n'Roll Romance Series) (128 page)

  
‘Now you’re just being ridiculous,’ Roy
said. He could feel a blush creeping up his neck as he unlocked the car. ‘Get
in before we really have a fight and just drop the subject before we get to
Ed’s place.’
   

***

Jane looked up from loading the
dishwasher as the back door opened and Roy
and Sammy strolled into the kitchen. ‘Hi, you two. How did it go?’

  
Roy blinked hard. ‘One of
the worst things I’ve ever had to do, leaving her there on her own.’

  
‘Sit down, mate.’ Eddie patted Roy’s
hand. ‘I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee.’

  
‘Actually, I’m popping over to Jess’s,’ Jane said. ‘Come with me, Sam.
We’ll have our coffee there and leave these two to catch up.’

  
Jane linked her arm through Sammy’s as they walked across the communal
gardens.

  
‘What’s on your mind? Apart from Harley of course.’
 

  
Sammy sighed and told her about the plan to try and have a baby with
Livvy’s donated egg.

  
‘Wow!’ Jane stopped and stared at Sammy. ‘And do you think she’ll do
it?’

  
‘Who knows?’ Sammy shrugged. ‘I think she’d be very selfish to refuse.
It’s the only way we can produce a full-blood sibling and if
I’m
willing to put myself at risk…’

  
‘It’s not the only way though, is it?’ Jane interrupted.
 

  
‘It is,’ Sammy said. ‘We’re not going down the other road again. I just
couldn’t bear it.’ Her eyes filled with tears and Jane put her arms around her.

  
‘I know. I’d find it hard to deal with too, I mean, if it were mine and
Ed’s problem. I guess there’s no simple solution, but I think you’re being very
brave to even consider another pregnancy at your age.’
  

***

‘Thanks, Ed.’ Roy
took his coffee and sat at the table.
 

  
‘How many sessions of chemo will Harley need?’ Eddie asked, sitting
opposite Roy.

  
‘Six, they said. That will hopefully put her in remission. Then pending
further tests they may want to do the bone-marrow transplant. And there lies
the problem.’ Roy outlined his and
Sammy’s plans. He offered Eddie a cigarette and lit up himself. ‘It’s not
ideal, I know. But what else can we do?’

  
‘Hope for the best, I suppose,’ Eddie said. ‘I don’t envy you. Jane was
saying only this morning that she expected life to be simpler now the kids are
grown up, but it seems harder somehow. Perhaps we should consider retiring the
band after the next album.’

  
‘That’s what I’ve been thinking for a while, to be honest,’ Roy
nodded. ‘It’s too much at our ages. We could finish with a final tour and make
the next album the last.’
  

  
‘Well, as long as Tim, Phil and Carl are in agreement, we should work
towards that goal. One final big show at Manchester Arena for all the local
fans and then bow out disgracefully. In fact, we could make it a charity gig,
for cancer research.’

  
Roy’s eyes filled and he
nodded.

  
‘How are you getting on with Livvy?’ Eddie asked. ‘Any sparks still
there?’

  
‘Plenty,’ Roy admitted.
‘She’s still in love with me.’

  
‘And you?’

  
‘I still love
her
, Ed. It was
like we’d never been apart. I’ve paid visits to her on my own that Sammy knows
nothing about.’

  
‘I thought you might,’ Eddie said. ‘You shagged her then?’

  
‘It was the most natural thing in the world.’ Roy
stubbed out the remains of his cigarette and immediately lit another. ‘I try
and fight it like crazy, but she’s always on my mind, day and night. I met her
husband Danny when I went to pick Courtney up. There was a lot of tension
between him and Liv. I got the feeling he wanted to flatten me.’

  
‘She’s told him your Harley’s father at last?’
 

  
‘Yeah, and he’s not a happy bunny.’

  
‘Hardly surprising. So what now?’

  
‘Well, Livvy’s renting Phil’s cottage while we get Harley over the
worst. Courtney’s starting at Manor Banks on Monday, Danny’s flying home
tomorrow.’

  
‘I meant between you and Sammy. What’s gonna happen?’

  
Roy shrugged. He stared into
his coffee. ‘We’re hoping Livvy will say yes to the egg donation idea.’

  
‘And you’ll all live happily ever after?’ Eddie drained his mug and
stood up. ‘Get real, Roy. Livvy’s
never gonna agree to that.’

  
‘She might.’

  
‘And what happens when Sammy finds out you’ve shagged her?’

  
Roy drew a finger across his
throat. ‘I’m a dead man, or at least a divorced man. I shouldn’t be taking
risks while Harley’s so ill. But Livvy’s beautiful. I find it hard to keep my
hands off her.’

  
‘She was always beautiful. Her beauty was your downfall last time.’

  
Roy didn’t reply.
  

***

Livvy fidgeted on the edge of the
bath as a bright blue line appeared in the window of the white plastic stick.
She caught her breath and tears slid down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms
around herself, closed her eyes and rocked back and forth. Harley’s future was
now hopefully secure. No matter what anyone would think of her for this, saving
her daughter was the most important thing and if her actions finished Roy’s
marriage, then so be it. She would try not to feel too guilty.

  
After a quick shower and hurried makeup, Livvy woke Courtney for her
first day at Manor Banks.

  
‘Toast and cereal, sweetie?’ she asked as Courtney sat down at the
kitchen table. ‘You look really smart in that uniform. Dark green and navy
suits your colouring.’

  
‘Cereal, please, Mom.’ Courtney stared down at her clothes and pulled a
face. ‘Don’t mind the sweatshirt, but I hate this skirt. Why can’t I wear
pants?’
  

  
‘They weren’t on the list,’ Livvy said, handing Courtney a packet of Weetabix.
‘You’ll have to see if any of the other girls are wearing pants. I have a
feeling it’ll just be the boys. Schools over here are a bit formal. Anyway,
it’s a nice little skirt. No pleats or anything, just plain and straight, and
not too long. Grin and bear it, honey, for now anyway.’

  
‘I’m still tired.’ Courtney yawned. ‘But I feel really excited. I could
hardly sleep.’

  
‘Well you were zonked when I got up at seven,’ Livvy said and took a sip
of orange juice.

  
‘You okay, Mom? You look a bit pale.’

  
‘I’m fine. A bit tired myself. It’s been a hectic last few days.’

  
‘You worrying about Harley?’

  
‘I am. And I’m wondering how Mom’s getting along with Dad’s family. I’ll
call them tonight.’ Her parents had flown to Glasgow
a couple of days earlier after celebrating their engagement. As her dad had
said, why wait? Daniel had gone back to LA and she and Courtney had moved into
Charlecote Cottage. Harley was home with Roy and Sammy for a few days, before
her next lot of chemotherapy. ‘I’m also concerned about you, of course. It’s a
big thing, starting a new school. Especially in a different country.’

  
‘I’ll be okay. Jack will be waiting at the gates for me. He’s going to
show me around. I can look after myself, you know.’

  
‘I’m sure you can. But just promise me one thing, Courtney.’

  
‘What?’ Courtney frowned, spoon halfway to her mouth.

  
‘Don’t go off alone at lunchtime with any of the boys. Especially that
Jamie Donahue you’ve done nothing but talk about since you met him last week.’

  
Courtney blushed slightly and smiled. ‘I won’t. Chill, Mom.’

  
‘Chill! You sound more like Harley every day. Hurry up now or you’ll be
late. I’m going to Sean and Tina’s for coffee after I’ve dropped you off.’

***

Livvy took the mug Tina handed
her. Bursting to say something, she’d just told Tina her news and Tina was
staring at her open-mouthed.

  
‘Congratulations. And is Danny pleased?’ She sat next to Livvy on the
sofa and offered her a biscuit. ‘I remember Jaffa Cakes were always your
favourites.’

  
‘Thank you.’ Livvy helped herself and took a sip of coffee. ‘I haven’t
told Danny.
 
You’re the first to know. I
only did the test this morning.’

  
‘I see,’ Tina nodded. ‘Well it’s a heck of an age gap. You’re going to
have to take good care of yourself. They seem to class anyone over thirty as an
older mother these days.’

  
‘Which at thirty-eight I am,’ Livvy agreed. ‘It’s very early days and I
don’t want anyone to know for a while. I just needed to tell someone I could
trust. That’s why I chose you.’ She smiled at Tina who had looked after her
before and after Harley’s birth and had always been supportive.

  
‘So, when will you tell Danny?’

  
‘I’m not sure that I will.’ Livvy studied the Jaffa Cake and nibbled
around the edge.
     

  
‘Why not? He’ll have to know sometime. Don’t you want the baby?’

  
Livvy’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh, Tina, of course I do. You’ve no
idea how much I want this baby. I
need
this baby.’

  
Tina put down her mug and wrapped her arms around Livvy. ‘Hey, come on,
don’t get upset. I don’t understand. If you want it so badly, why on earth
won’t you tell Danny?’
 

  
‘Because it’s not his,’ Livvy whispered.

  
Tina sat back, her mouth agape. ‘Not Roy’s?
Not again? You’ve got to be having me on?’

  
Livvy sat silently, tears tumbling down her cheeks as Tina stared at
her.

  
‘Oh my God! Sammy will go crazy. Does Roy
know?’

  
‘Not yet. But I’ll tell him soon.’ In between sobs she told Tina about
the egg donation plan and Sammy’s wanting to have a baby herself and why.

  
‘Christ! This will devastate Sammy. You know that, don’t you? You can
never put
this
right by handing a
baby over. Why, Livvy? Why have you allowed it to happen again? I thought you
were happy with Danny and your wonderful life in LA. I mean, you have
everything.’

  
‘Appearances can be very deceptive,’ Livvy sniffed. ‘I’ve never really
loved Danny. There’s not a day gone by that I haven’t thought about Harley and
Roy. And anyway, this baby may well save Harley’s life. What if the egg thing
didn’t work with Sammy right away? It could take months. Harley hasn’t got that
sort of time.’

  
Tina puffed out her cheeks. ‘You’re crazy. What about Roy’s
rights? Doesn’t he get a say in this?’

  
‘Of course he does. When I tell him, I’m sure he’ll agree it’s for the
best.’ Livvy drew a deep breath, not totally convinced by what she was saying.
Even to
her
ears it sounded like a
mad idea now. But there was no going back. ‘Anyway,’ she continued, ‘if he can
tumble so easily into bed with me, then there has to be something seriously
lacking in his marriage. The chemistry between us was intense. It was a purely
natural act of love.’

  
‘More like lust, knowing Roy Cantello,’ Tina muttered. ‘I don’t know
what to say to you.’
   

  
‘I don’t expect you do,’ Livvy said. ‘Tina, I just want to try and save
my daughter’s life. To do that I have to have Roy’s
child. It’s her best hope. We’ve all been tested but it’s unlikely we’ll be
suitable. A full-blood sibling could make the difference between life and
death. I haven’t a choice.’

  
Tina shook her head. ‘Put like that, I can see your point. Though God
help you.’

  
Livvy wiped her eyes and stood up. ‘I’d better go. I need to do some
shopping and then go home. Roy’s
going to call me later with an update on Harley and whether she’s up to a visit
from Courtney after school.’

  
Tina accompanied her to the door and gave her a hug. ‘It’s not going to
be an easy ride for you, but me and Sean will be here if you need us when the
shit hits the fan.’

***

CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN

     
Livvy lay on the sofa, reading her
horoscope in OK! Magazine. She felt drained after her confession to Tina, but
had been bursting to tell someone her secret. Deep down she knew that not
everyone would agree it was good news, but to be carrying Roy’s child again was
the most wonderful thing that could have happened and not
only
because it could save Harley’s life. Two birds with one stone,
as they say, and it had been so easy, too. But how to tell Roy
that she couldn’t donate an egg, and why, was the problem now. She glanced at
her horoscope again and sighed. The last sentence -
You will end the week feeling a lot more cheerful and optimistic due to
events that are set to put a smile on your face –
sounded positive enough,
she thought, but she didn’t really believe in all that crap, although she’d
grasp any given straw at the moment.
 

    
She jumped as the phone
rang. It was Roy’s expected call.
He kept it brief, just told her he was on his way to see
her
.
He didn’t even
give her time to ask if everything was okay
with
Harley.
She got to her feet, smoothed out the creases in her linen skirt
and made her way to the bathroom where she stared at her pale reflection in the
mirror. She ran her fingers through her curls and swept blusher onto her
cheeks. A sweep of mascara, touch of lip-gloss, and she was ready.

Roy’s
car screeched to a halt and she ran downstairs to let him in. He swept her into
his arms, kicked the door closed with his foot and hugged her tightly, raining
kisses on her face. It was the first time they’d been alone since the night
he’d refused to make love to her at the hotel. He carried her into the lounge
and lowered her onto the sofa. She pulled him close, craving his kisses and
running her hands through his hair. ‘Is Harley alright?’ she asked.

  
‘Yes, she’s doing okay. We’ll talk later. I’m so sorry about the
other
  
…’ he began.

  
‘Shh, it doesn’t matter, you’re here now,’ she interrupted. Feeling
reassured there was no emergency with Harley she allowed herself to relax in
his arms.
 

  
‘What time do you have to pick up Courtney,’ he whispered, unbuttoning
her shirt.

  
‘Three-thirty.’ She reached to unzip him.

  
‘Just over an hour,’ he said, his hand wandering up her skirt. ‘No time
to waste. I’m so desperate for you, Liv.’

  
They made, quick, passionate love half-on, half-off the sofa, almost
fully clothed. Livvy cried out as she came, her shuddering sending Roy
to his own climax.
 

  
‘Oh, Livvy.’ He crushed her to him. ‘I love you. I’ve thought of hardly
anything but this for days. I can’t keep my hands off you.’

  
‘The feeling’s mutual, ‘she said, stroking his face. ‘I want you every
minute of every day.’

  
He kissed her again and rolled onto the floor.

  
She wriggled into an upright position. ‘Zip yourself up. I’ll make us
some tea.’

  
Roy followed her into the
kitchen, tucking his T-shirt into his jeans. He leant with his back against the
sink and rummaged in his pockets. ‘Do you mind?’ he held up a packet of
cigarettes.

  
‘Go ahead. Not for me, thanks. I gave up when I was expecting Harley,
remember?’

  
‘I do. I wish I had your will-power.’ He lit up and drew deeply.
‘Harley’s had quite a good day so far. She’s really looking forward to seeing
Courtney later.’

  
Livvy grimaced and he frowned.

  
‘What’s wrong?’

  
‘I don’t know if I can face Sammy. Not after what we’ve just done.
She’ll be able to read it in my face. I don’t know how you can go home and be
so normal.’ She handed him a mug of tea.

  
‘I do it with great difficulty,’ he said. ‘But you can’t disappoint the
girls. You don’t have to come in. Drop Courtney at the door and I’ll bring her
back later.’

  
‘But then I don’t get to see Harley.’

  
‘If she’s feeling up to it, she can come with me when I bring Courtney
home.’

  
‘Okay. Let’s drink our tea in the lounge.’
 

  
Roy followed her, put both
mugs on the coffee table and pulled her down beside him on the sofa.

  
‘How are Jason and Jules getting on with their baby plans?’ she asked,
snuggling into him as he slipped his arm around her waist.

  
He gave a wry smile and shook his head. ‘Fine, I think. I try and keep
out of it as much as I can. I’ve got to be honest here and say that I find the
whole surrogacy thing repulsive. But I have to keep my thoughts to myself at
home. I mean, how can you top making babies in the normal way?’

  
Livvy stared at him for a long moment and then looked away. ‘You can’t,’
she said softly.

  
He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her face to his. ‘What’s
wrong?’

  
‘Nothing,’ she replied, feeling her cheeks warm.

  
‘Livvy, I know you too well. Something’s bugging you.’ He clapped his
hand to his forehead and groaned.
 
‘Fucking hell. I know what it is.’

  
‘What?’

  
‘Shit! I’m sorry, sweetheart. Christ, you should have stopped me. As
usual I just didn’t think!’
   

  
‘Roy, for God’s sake. What
are you on about?’

  
‘I didn’t use anything. Can you take the morning after pill? Kate Mellor
might be able to get hold of some for you. She got them for Harley.’

  
‘Roy, stop. I can’t ask
Kate. Danny’s not here and she’ll be wondering who I’ve slept with.’

  
He raised an ironical eyebrow. ‘Well she won’t have far to look. She’ll
guess right away.’

  
‘Exactly. I’ve registered with a GP. I’ll go and see him tomorrow.
Unless there’s a family planning clinic near here?’ She played along with him.
 

  
‘I wouldn’t know,’ he said, running his hands agitatedly though his
hair. ‘It’s not something I’ve ever had to think about. Look in the phone book,
or maybe Phil’s missus would know. Although with six kids to their name, I
don’t think family planning’s their strong point either.’

  
Livvy drew a deep breath and took his hand. ‘Roy,
stop fussing. I’m not going to do anything.’ This couldn’t have happened at a
better time even if she’d planned it, she thought. Roy
would never need to know that she’d been deceptive in conceiving the child. And
chances are that she’d deliver a week or two early, like she did with Harley
and Courtney, and that would be perfect.
    

  
‘What do you mean?’ he said, his voice rising. He gripped her shoulders
and she could see the panic in his eyes. ‘You have to do something. You won’t
be safe now, not if you were the other week, that much I
do
know.’

  
‘True,’ she replied, as calmly as she could, whilst feeling like mush
inside. ‘And if I get caught now, the baby will be a full-blood sibling for
Harley, don’t you see? There’ll be no need for me to donate an egg to Sammy.’

  
Roy’s eyes widened as
realisation dawned. ‘Livvy, what are you saying? We can’t do this again. Think
what it will do to Sammy, not to mention Danny and the girls.’

  
‘
I’m
thinking of Harley,’ she
said, digging her fingernails into her palms and looking him straight in the
eyes. ‘It might be her only chance. How could any of us deny her that?’ She got
to her feet and folded her arms protectively across her stomach. ‘
You
promised Harley that you would do
everything you possibly could to get her well, no matter what it takes.
If
I’ve just conceived and the baby is a
perfect match, then we’ve created a miracle, Roy
and you’ll be keeping your promise to our daughter,
our
daughter,’ she repeated. He was watching her every move,
looking like the stuffing had been punched out of him. He seemed incapable of
speech. She had to convince him she was right and tried again.

  
‘I don’t give a damn about our marriages. Mine’s on the rocks anyway and
how can yours be working properly when you won’t stay away from
me
? And as for Courtney, her wish is
that you, me, she and Harley could all live together as a family.’ She could
feel tears tumbling down her cheeks now and he was still staring at her,
dumbstruck. ‘I need the loo,’ she muttered and ran out of the room.

***

Roy
sat with his head in his hands, his mind working overtime. How the fuck was he
going to get out of this? But then, Livvy was right. Harley should come first,
not he and Sammy, or Livvy and Danny. Livvy might not have conceived anyway and
he was worrying for nothing and they could still go ahead with Sammy’s plan. He
looked up as she came back into the room. His breath caught in his throat and
his heart thudded. He was in love with her, there was no denying it. She needed
him and he should be with her; he knew that. But how the hell did he make it
all happen and make it right for everyone else? It was too much to think about
at the moment. His head felt mashed. He would have to give something up for her
and it looked like it would have to be Sammy and his home. Livvy sat down
beside him and took his hand. He drew her into his arms.

  
‘Olivia, I know what you’re saying and you’re right. Harley means
everything to me and so do you.’ He stopped and swallowed hard.
 

  
‘Are you really willing to give up your marriage, your home and career?’

  
She nodded. ‘Totally. My career’s on hold, for now anyway. I’ve got a
home here. I don’t want to be with Danny, I don’t love him and I’ve wasted
enough of his life. My main worry is losing Courtney to him.’

  
‘Why would you lose Courtney?’

  
‘Well, Danny might say I’m an unfit mother, falling pregnant again
  
by my ex-lover. It would be perfect grounds
for a divorce and the tabloids would have a field day.’

  
‘But we don’t know that you’re pregnant yet. We’re jumping the gun a bit
here and maybe it’s just wishful thinking.
But
,
if you are,’ he continued, seeing a look of something cross her face, ‘I’ll be
behind you all the way. Whatever it takes, we’ll be together on this one.’

  
‘What about Sammy?’

  
He felt his eyes fill and shook his head. ‘Christ knows! My marriage
will be over. No matter how good the intention she won’t tolerate me having
another child with you. She’ll think we’ve planned it deliberately.’

  
‘So, you’d be willing to walk away from everything, too?’

  
He could feel her eyes searching his for further reassurance. ‘I guess I
would, this time. But let’s wait and see what happens in the next couple of
weeks, then you can do a test and we’ll take it from there.’
 

  
‘Okay.’ She planted a kiss on his lips.

***

Livvy quickly changed out of her
crumpled linen outfit and pulled on jeans and a T-shirt. Roy
was taking her to collect Courtney from school. She splashed her face with cold
water, scraped her hair into a pony-tail and rummaged in her handbag for her
shades to hide her red-rimmed eyes. Although she’d won a victory, she felt
hollow inside, ashamed at deceiving him. But she couldn’t tell him she was
already pregnant and would have to play along for the next two weeks until she
could do another test.

***

     
Roy
sat in his car, his mind doing overtime as he went over the possible
life-changing events of the last hour. Maybe fate was intervening and it was
all meant to be. There was no denying that his love for Livvy was so strong it
was taking precedence over everything, barring his concerns for Harley. This
time around he felt powerless to fight it. But how to tell Sammy, that was the
problem. He’d need all his strength to act normally at home for the next couple
of weeks, stalling Sammy from mithering about the egg thing, until Livvy knew
for certain. If she wasn’t pregnant, then what? Harley would still need a
donor. Jesus! He felt like his head was exploding.

  
He looked up. Livvy was running towards the car, her pony-tail bouncing
up and down. She got in beside him and he revved the engine and drove quickly
down the private lane.

  
‘You look like a schoolgirl yourself in that get-up,’ he said, smiling
at her.

  
She smiled back. ‘We’ll be okay, you know, Roy.
If the worst comes to the worst, I mean.’

  
‘I’m sure we will,’ he said, pulling onto

  
‘Perfectly.’

  
He reached for her hand. ‘It amazes me how so much can happen in so
short a time. You should never take anything for granted.’

  
‘I never do,’ she replied. ‘But I’m a great believer in fate.’