The Rules In Paradise (Playing By The Rules) (26 page)

             
I heard keys rattling in the door and actually felt myself get excited for the first time in a long time. The door flew open and Adrian came straggling in, dragging her big bag behind her. I gave her a genuine smile as she came in. She immediately ran over to the couch and hugged me tight.

             
"Hi," I said, "did you miss me?"

             
"I totally did. You look good," she said as she got up. I looked away from her when I heard shuffling outside. Before I could begin to ask Jason came walking in, dragging a bag behind him.

             
"Hey," he said, smiling. I really was happy to see him and Adrian, it was always just slightly awkward to see him at first.

             
"Hey there, nice surprise," I said. He gave me an apologetic look as he closed the door behind him.

             
"Get ready, we're going to dinner at seven, Char and Kyle are meeting us," Adrian called from down the hall. I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to call after her.

             
"I don't care if you don't want to go, you are," she yelled from her bedroom. I felt my face register shock and heard Jason laughing at me.

             
"You should shut up, I'm not afraid to take her overbearingness out on you," I said to Jason, trying to hold back my smile.

             
"Yes ma'am," he said as he saluted me.

             
I begrudgingly got ready, and walked in to the restaurant after Adrian, as Jason held the door for us. I walked in and gave both Charlotte and Kyle, who were already sitting, a hug. I felt slightly out of place sitting at a table for six with two couples. The open seat next to me felt like the focal point of the table.

             
We all ordered drinks and sat around talking for awhile. I felt actually good to be sitting with my friends, out of the house.

             
"I'm so glad you guys could come, I feel like it's been forever," Adrian said as she took a sip of her drink.

             
"I've just been so busy with work and school. We've been waiting on Kyle's bar results, but he feels really good about it." Charlotte grabbed his hand and I couldn't help but smile. I felt like they were truly the perfect couple and complimented each other perfectly. I watched Kyle stroke the back of Charlotte's hand with his thumb and felt a pull in my chest

             
"I love you guys so much. I really can't believe that we're all so grown up. I guess that's why I wanted to share with you that I'm getting married." Adrian squealed the last part. Her hand was in the air, showing off an extremely beautiful ring.

             
My eyes were big and I looked between Adrian who was sitting diagonal from me and Jason who was sitting across from me. Charlotte jumped up from her seat, squealing almost as loud. I took that as my cue to get up and I hugged Adrian as well.

             
"Wow Ad, I'm shocked," I said. I was going through the motions, and I hated it, but there was nothing else I could do. If I couldn't be happy for my friend I had to at least pretend to be. There was excited chatter around the table as Kyle shook Jason's hand and hugged Adrian. I had resumed my seat and downed my drink. The chatter continued and I continued to sit hearing none of it.

             
"I'm sorry she sprung that on you." Jason's voice broke me out of my trance.

             
"What, why? Congratulations. Really Jason. I'm so happy for you too." I really meant it, but I didn't know how to make my body language and tone of voice convey that.

             
"I was hoping she was just going to tell you at home, but you know her," he said apologetically.

             
"I know, in true Adrian fashion. I'm happy for you Jason." I squeezed his hand that was on the table to show I meant it.

             
"Thanks Olivia," he paused, "he's still not over you either, you know. I see the same look on his face all the time."

             
I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. "I don't know what you mean."

             
"He's always blank. He has to will himself to show any emotion. I told him I was going to propose, and his first question was if you knew."

             
"Why?" I asked.

             
"I didn't really feel that I should tell him our relationship was practically healthy now. That's not something he'd want to know."

             
I asked the waiter for another drink. "How is he?" I couldn't help but ask. I knew I'd regret that question, but I had to know.

             
"He's ok. We've settled with Fredericks so that part is over at least. He's still not himself. He works and sleeps. We don't really go out or do anything. He's just kind of going through the motions."

             
I nodded. I understood that more than I cared to express. Did that mean something? Wasn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Even after all of this time we still were in this funk.

             
"Every time I go home from here he asks how you are. I spend the first fifteen to twenty minutes after getting home recounting your every move. He dislikes that you've lost so much weight."

             
I shrugged. I had lost weight since everything had happened. I hadn't counted on it being quite so noticeable, but apparently it was.

             
"Is there ever a chance Olivia?" Jason asked.

             
"Did he ask you to ask me that?" I asked.

             
"No, he assumes we don't really speak. I promised I would never tell that he asks about you."

             
"How do I know you don't go back and tell him everything that was said since you promised him you wouldn't?" Jason smiled a little.

             
"Because he's the only one who still holds out hope," he said.

             
"No, I don't think so Jason. There's still times that I have to physically hold myself together when I think about him, but then I think about all the bullshit. I think about how easy it would have been to be honest from the start. It's harder to forgive that than to feel like this."

             
"Why haven't you moved on?"

             
I took a deep breath to stop myself from getting angry and defensive.

             
"Because I'm not over him. There's too many good things that I can't quite let the bad swallow it up. Somedays I think I'm getting closer. Others I feel like it was still that night."

He looked like he wanted to say something more but thought better of it. He took a sip from his beer and smiled.

             
"I never imagined there was anybody who could make Cole Cooper powerless." Jason said with a laugh.

             
"He's so stupid." This made Jason laugh even louder.

             
"This he is. I guess I should apologize though," Jason said.

             
"Why" I asked kind of nervously.

             
"I lied just a little bit ago, not on purpose though.

             
"Oh?" I asked, my eyebrow was raised.

             
"He's not the only one who holds out hope," he said before he took a sip from his beer, looking over the top of the cup at me.

Chapter 20

             
"This feels just as heavy as last time. I swear no matter what it's enough for a few months," Adrian said as she tried to drag her bag down the hallway.

             
"That's because that is the exact bag from last year. You have to start with a smaller bag otherwise you'll fill it all. Trust me, this is the third bag I tried," I said, carrying my bag down the hallway with ease.

             
"What time is Charlotte coming? Think I could get Kyle to bring this downstairs?" Adrian asked.

             
"She'll be here in fifteen or so minutes. I'm sure he'll come up and help you out." I sat on the couch and relaxed. Thankfully the semester had ended. I was excited for it to be over but also nervous to have three months to only work and relax. The old adage "Idle hands are the devil's playground" was true, except mine was an idle mind. I liked to keep busy simply so that I didn't think.

             
I had been thinking about this trip for the past month. I didn't know how I felt about it. On one hand I was excited to spend probably our last year with my friends on vacation. By this time next year both of them would be married and Charlotte had announced the fact that she wanted to have a baby. On the other hand I didn't know how I would be able to handle going. There were still so many demons I was trying to overcome and going straight to the source was probably not a good idea. We had promised each other that a man would never stop us from being together and if I didn't go, that's exactly what I would be doing. The saving grace was that I could be heavily intoxicated the whole time and nobody would bat an eye at it.

             
"How are you feeling about going back?" Adrian asked, as if reading my mind.

             
"I'm ok I guess. I've been nervous about it, but there's nothing that's going to ruin our trip together. That is in the past and I'm not willing to avoid an entire country because of some asshole. I just want to have fun and pretend nothing else existed there except us."

             
"I can live with that. Char and I both told you that it's ok if you don't want to go or want to go somewhere else," Adrian said.

             
"I know, but I don't. I want to go and be with you guys like we've always been. I can do this."

             
There was a knock at the door and Adrian popped up to get it. Charlotte and Kyle walked in, both smiling.

             
Kyle was kind enough to bring down Adrian's bag and put all of our luggage in the back of his SUV. We all piled in on our way to the airport.

             
Security wasn't an issue and before long we were sitting around a table at the airport bar.

             
"I can't believe what can happen in a year. Char got married, I will be getting married, we're sitting here getting ready to go on a vacation together again, it's amazing," Adrian said, taking a sip from her drink.

             
"I know, it's hard to believe what a year can bring. Won't be long before we have to bring a fourth friend around on all of our adventures," Charlotte said.

             
I took a sip of my drink before my mind caught up. "Fourth friend?" I asked, feeling my palms getting sweaty.

             
"Yeah, you know, an addition to our group," she said with a smile on her face.

             
Adrian and I looked at each other, unsure if what we thought she was saying was really what she was saying. My eyes took in the table in front of me, Adrian's beer, my mixed drink and Charlotte's water.

             
"You're not," I said.

             
She simply shook her head and we all broke out in a mess of yelling and hugs. People were staring at us from the walkway in the airport and those sitting in the bar.

             
"I can't believe you didn't tell us! Are you sure you want to still go? It's probably not going to be very much fun for you without any alcohol," Adrian said, still squealing a little.

             
"Congrats Char, I thought you guys were just talking about it," I said.

             
"We were, but then it ended up just happening. It's really early, but I have a doctor's appointment for the week we get back. I wouldn't miss this for the world. I think it's important we all are together." I knew she was referring to me. She was a mother ahead of her time. I know both of them were worried about how it would be, being back in Mexico, having to deal with things I've pushed aside. Being with my best friends was the only way I'd be able to survive.

             
We heard them begin boarding our flight as the announcement came over the loud speaker. We put a tip on the table and stood up.

             
"Come on momma, do you need me to carry you?" Adrian joked to Char, opening her arms to her.

             
We laughed as we walked toward the gate.

             
The flight seemed longer than usual. It seemed with every passing mile my heart rate quickened and I felt my stomach tie itself in one more knot. The worst would be the fear of the unknown. I imagined myself unable to hold it together, seeing anyplace that we had been together would send me into some downward spiral. I had been unable to predict my emotions for close to a year now, how would I feel when faced with the places that he had actually been at one time? That is what made me the most nervous, I didn't know how I would react. I felt the nervousness grow as we got closer and closer to our destination.