The Rules In Paradise (Playing By The Rules) (24 page)

             
"It'll cost you a fortune. Jason and I brought the car we rented here earlier, please let me take you home. I don't want to think of you in the back of a sketchy cab at midnight." He stood and started walking toward the car. I didn't move right away. I didn't necessarily want to be with him, in his car alone at midnight. He must have noticed I was not walking with him. He turned and finally met my eyes.

             
"For the love of God just let me take you home." I put my bag on my shoulder and started to follow him, keeping my distance. We drove in silence for a few minutes. I looked out my window concentrating on the cars that we passed.

             
"I'm so sorry," he said after awhile.

             
"I don't care."

             
"Please, let me explain."

             
"Well let me see if I have the story right yet, you were engaged, told me you weren't with anyone, you cheated on her with me, you left, went back to her for awhile and left just in time to come see me again. Did I get that all right?"

             
"Olivia, it wasn't like that," he pleaded.

             
"It was exactly like that. Tell me that those things didn't happen."

             
"They're true, but not in the way that it sounds."

             
"What way does it sound? Does it maybe sound like you're a scumbag dog who got caught cheating? Because it should sound like that. I can't believe this honestly. I can't even begin to comprehend what a complete and utter asshole you are." I was clearly still in the anger phase of grief.

             
"Olivia, I didn't know I was going to meet you. I didn't know you existed. You are the most amazing person I've ever known."

             
"So what? What happened when we got really serious about each other and you met someone who you also didn't know existed. Hell, look at this woman over here, you didn't know she existed until right now, would you like to trick her into sleeping with you?"

             
"I never tricked you." His voice was firm for the first time all evening.

             
"You sure as hell weren't honest. I asked you if you had a girlfriend or if you were married, you said no. So excuse me, you lied, maybe I'll save tricked for another time."

             
"I was honest Olivia. We weren't married, and she wasn't my girlfriend."

             
"You really want to play a semantics game with me? Man the fuck up Cole."

             
"I knew before the night we slept together that I was in love with you and not her. I knew I wanted to be with you. I knew it was over between she and I."

             
"Yet you went back to her."

             
"Meeting you that night, really getting to talk to you confirmed what I already knew. I knew I didn't necessarily want to be with her but I didn't have a reason not to be. I felt like I was holding out for the reason to make me leave. You were my reason."

             
"But you went back."

             
"She was destroying my life Olivia. She had changed the locks on my own fucking house. She was accessing my personal bank accounts and spending money on ridiculous things. She put her father up to ruining me. I went back in hopes it would stop all of the craziness until I could get a better handle on what was going on. I needed time to think about how I could make it be ok without being with her."
             

             
"Did you sleep with her then?" I asked the question that had burning in my brain all night. I needed to know.

             
Cole held the steering wheel tightly and stared forward. The longer I watched him the more I felt the tears in my eyes fighting to come out. I knew that his silence was the answer I needed.

             
"You unimaginable bastard. You are truly one of the biggest assholes I've ever known."

             
I stared out of my window, not moving. I closed my eyes and bit my lip hard. I couldn't cry, not here. Not until we had parted ways. I couldn't let him see me cry.

             
We pulled up in front of my building and he turned off the car.

             
"She means nothing to me anymore Olivia. Not since I met you. I don't care about her. It's been about you since the first day I met you. You're who I want to be with."

             
I sat there in the silence and I wondered, could we ever go back? Could I ever look at him at this gorgeous guy who was on the surface, so near perfect and not see what a liar and a jerk he was?

             
"At least you have a back up plan," I said through a strained voice.

             
"It's over Olivia, I'm never seeing her again. I've signed the papers, the house is hers. Kyle has been working on a deal with Don, so he'll leave us alone. We're offering him millions to get him out of the picture. I'm done with her. It's only you."

             
"You know what the worst part is about this Cole? I've watched how good you are with people so many times. I watched you at the pool, on the boat, at lunch and dinner, and I saw how great you are with people. I admired you for it and it made me feel good. I fell in love with the man who could command a room and yet make everybody feel so comfortable and so important. But it wasn't until this very moment that I saw it for what it was, manipulation. You've manipulated so many people in your life that it doesn't phase you. You might have gotten away with it up until now, but I see it for what it is."

             
"Is that what you think, that this is what I wanted? To fool you into falling in love with me? I haven't made you do anything Olivia, you've come willingly into everything. I have never lied to you and I've never forced you to do anything."

             
"You're right. I can't argue with that. I was so blinded by what I thought you were that I fell in love with you. I really need to be more careful about that." I gathered my bag and shoes in my arms and my hand was on my door handle.

             
"Olivia, please give me time to make it up to you, I love you." I heard a catch in his voice and looked at him.

             
"You've had plenty of time to make it right, like from the beginning."

             
"So what does this mean? Are you leaving me for good?" His face was the epitome of anguish. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

             
"Cole, let me make sure you hear this and hear it well. I do not want to see you, I do not want to hear from you. You are the most manipulative bastard I've known, and I've known quite a few. You tricked me into falling in love with you and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the rug was pulled out from under me. I don't care if you go back to her or not, I don't want you. I will not be mistreated and be ok with it. You've had so many opportunities to tell me the truth and to let me in. You chose not to do that." By now I was talking in between sobs. "I have no need for someone like you in my life. My only hope is that one day you'll realize that you can't just have people fawn over you and then you get to do whatever you think you can behind their backs. I never want to see you again."

             
I watched his entire person crumble. First his lips parted and the lines in his face went deeper, creating shadows on his face in the dark car. I saw the reflection of car headlights passing us by in the dampness of his tears. They were freely falling down his face though he was making no noise. I closed my eyes tight and started to cry. I could hold it in no longer.

             
"Please don't leave me Olivia. Please don't do this. I can't bear it. I love you so much."

             
I sobbed harder. I couldn't will myself to pull the latch to open the door.

             
"You have no clue what it means to love. Love isn't hurting someone when you can avoid it. You've ruined everything."

             
"Then it's all been for nothing. The house, the lawsuits, the fighting. I might as well give it all up. I did it all for you. I put it all on the line because I loved you and now you can't bear the sight of me. I thought in the end I was doing the right thing, I really did. I thought that looking back on this you would see how hard I worked to be with you. I thought I could prove that it's all been for you. From the moment I realized I loved you, I had these delusions that I could be a hero. I could turn this situation around and win you over. You're the only thing I care about losing. If you don't want me I don't want any of it. I don't want the company, the money, the house. You were my breath of fresh air, but since then you've been the air in my lungs. I don't want it without you."

             
"That's something you need to take up with your business partner who you've already screwed, figuratively, at least I hope anyway. Please, let me walk away."

             
He sat staring at me. His face soaked with tears. His hands and lips were shaking as he broke apart. I watched his eyes close and he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white.

             
I pulled the handle on the door and it released. I heard a sob escape Cole's lips. I slowly got up and out of the car. I saw the sobs racking his body as I stood and turned to look at him one last time. I blinked away the last tears I would cry for him as I shut the car door. I heard what I thought was him behind me as I walked toward my building and never looked back.

Chapter 18

             
I woke up the next morning and my head was pounding. I pulled the covers over my head and had to stop myself from crying. I took a deep breath and threw the covers off of me. I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. There were long black lines going from my eyes to my chin and my eyes were swollen to twice the size. I felt like every muscle in my body ached. I started the shower and it turned it all the way up. I wanted to burn last night off of every inch of my skin.

             
I stripped down and got into the shower. I sat on the small seat, letting the water fall over me. It burnt my skin but I didn't bother to turn it off. Within moments I began crying. I cried so hard that I fought the urge to throw up.

             
Every sob hurt my muscles but stopped the aching in my chest. When I stopped crying the pain in my chest ignited again. I lathered my hair and body quickly and rinsed, shutting the water off when I was done. I pulled on an old pair of jeans and a big sweatshirt. Despite the fact that it was mid summer I felt chilled to the bone. I piled my hair on the top of the my head and left my room.

             
I wasn't sure I was ready to see anyone, but my stomach was telling me it needed something in it. I shouldn't have been, but I was surprised when I saw Jason and Adrian laughing on the couch. I didn't make eye contact with either, I just turned toward the kitchen. They both had stopped talking and laughing. That answered my question, she already knew.

             
I pulled down a bowl and filled it with cereal. I could hardly stand up right now, let alone make a real breakfast. I opened the fridge to get the milk when I heard footsteps come in.

             
"Are you ok?" Jason asked.

             
I closed the fridge and poured some onto my cereal.

             
"Yeah, perfect." My tone was icy, but he hopefully understood it was not about him.

             
"I'm sorry, really. It just wasn't fair. I just thought you had to know." His face was set with worry.

             
"You did the right thing, I'm not mad at you."

             
He just stood there and stared for a moment. The look of concern on his face pushed me over the edge and I started crying. I was shocked when I felt him pull me to him and he hugged me. He hugged me and just let me cry. This was very much outside of the realm of our relationship, but I was in no position to argue. I took several deep breaths as I tried to pull it together. I pulled back and wiped my face on my sleeves.