The Runaway Schoolgirl (17 page)

A
week after the trial was over, I went back to work full time. When you have been out of the nine-to-five routine for a while, it is really difficult to readjust to doing an eight-hour day’s work and a two-hour commute each way. It was absolutely exhausting, but I was excited to be back in the thick of things, working on the company’s process of modernisation.

My colleagues, as ever, were fantastic. Those who knew about the case were very respectful and never said anything about it, while the younger people I worked with seemed oblivious to any connections I had with the story. In a way, being back at work was an escape from what had been happening.

Gavin, my line manager, was great about the situation. He knew that I still had things at home that I had to deal with
and he said he would allow me to have more time off, if I ever needed it. He knew my job wouldn’t suffer because of it. I loved training the younger members of staff and inspiring them to work hard and be promoted in the company. It was really rewarding to see them doing so well.

At home, I had a great support network, which allowed me to go back to work. Paul or his parents would always look after Lilly whenever I had to go away overnight for work, my sister Charlotte and Max were very supportive and Lilly’s nursery was really accommodating, too. As paranoid as I had been with Maddie and her male teachers, it was a comfort to me to know that there were no men working at the nursery. What had happened to Gemma had only made me more protective where my children were concerned. I would never have been able to sleep at night if I didn’t know that I’d done everything I possibly could to keep them safe.

Over the days and weeks following the trial, I had some very big issues to work through. Firstly, my relationship with Gemma was going nowhere and she was still refusing to speak to me, which was breaking my heart. She was still living at Max’s and still in touch with the parasites. On top of that, I had my family at home to consider, and my relationship with Paul was becoming strained – we were both so busy with our jobs, we were like ships that passed in the night. And then, of course, there was all the Forrest family stuff in the press to contend with and the prospect of the serious case review coming up. Throughout the court case his family were constantly talking to the press and looking forward to the outcome of a serious case review, which was going to occur at the end of the trial. This could only take place at end of the trial as they had to wait for the criminal case to be completed.

I was really struggling. It was as if I was being pulled in every direction. I kept thinking, ‘At the end of this week I’ll have a bit of breathing space’ but that end seemed nowhere in sight.

I had read some people refer to the song ‘Don’t Stand So Close to Me’ by The Police when they had commented on Gemma’s story in the press. I had the song on my iPod, and one day when I was sitting on the train to work, I took the opportunity to really listen to it properly. Obviously, I had heard it many times in the past, but it had never truly resonated with me before. This time, I really concentrated on the words and I could hardly believe how familiar it all sounded – ‘This girl is half his age …’

Gemma’s school prom was coming up soon. Although I had previously told Mr Worship that there was no way I was going to allow her to miss it, I knew that it wasn’t going to be possible for her to attend. I realised we would just be asking for trouble if she went.

I had heard on the grapevine that some of Gemma’s former schoolmates were blaming her for what had happened. They were saying that she had flirted with Forrest and that she had been the one to start their relationship. I knew it wasn’t true, but it really hurt. She wasn’t that sort of girl – she was far too into her music and creating websites, she would never have made a move on someone. She’d had a boyfriend in the past, but it was never anything serious. Yet from the moment she got back from France, she was called every abusive name under the sun.

Gemma had already decided that she didn’t want to go anyway. I was told by one of her friends that she had heard some students say that they would boycott the prom if she was
going, as they blamed her for what had happened. I myself had also heard this.

It was disappointing that the prom would be a no-go for her. I remembered when Lee had attended his own prom, all dressed up in a suit for the evening. I had thought at the time how special it was going to be for Gemma to have a new dress and her hair and make-up done, how excited she and her friends would have been, what kind of car we would arrange to get them there. Your school prom is one of those significant days of your teenage years that you hope to treasure forever. Sadly, in Gemma’s case, it was to be another one of those special memories that she had been denied.

During this time she was still friendly with some of her old classmates from Kennedy High School and I became great friends with one of the girl’s mums. The girl’s mother was able to keep me updated on how Gemma was getting on, and I was pleased to know that she had an older female figure in whom she could confide if she needed to. I didn’t expect any information about Gemma to be relayed back to me, it was just comforting to know that there was a ‘mum’ there for her if ever she needed one.

Every day, I kept up the text messages to Gemma, hoping that one day we would be able to get our relationship back on track. It was what I wanted more than anything in the world.

I knew that Gemma needed space, but I needed her to know that I would always love her and would always be her mum. Every day as I wrote her another text and hit the send button on my phone, I hoped that I would finally get through to her how much she meant to me.

T
owards the end of June, around a week after the trial ended, Mark Ling got in touch with me. Acting on instructions from Judge Michael Lawson, QC, he and Neil Ralph were about to travel up to Hertfordshire to talk to the parasite who had accompanied Gemma to court on the day of the verdict.

Judge Michael Lawson, QC had questioned the evidence that Gemma had given in court and had been concerned that it had strayed so much from her original police interview. He said there was reason to believe that someone had contacted Gemma to get her to change her story and that she had been coached on what to say in court.

Even though Judge Michael Lawson, QC didn’t know Gemma at all, he could tell that what she said in court didn’t sound like her own words, and I felt vindicated that I wasn’t
the only one who believed she had been ‘got at’ to change her story. He was so perceptive and I was greatly relieved to find that he had picked up on the fact that the words she had been saying weren’t her own.

At the end of the sentencing hearing, he asked Richard Barton if he had any evidence of collusion. When Richard had confirmed to him that Sussex Police suspected some kind of foul play, the judge said: ‘I will expect to see them back in my court.’

So off Mark Ling and Neil Ralph went to Hertfordshire …

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when they finally caught up with the parasite. As far as I was concerned, what she had been doing was just a continuation of Forrest’s grooming. Gemma had confided in this woman about how she was feeling and she in turn had been feeding back information to the press and Forrest’s family. On top of that, of course, she had visited Forrest in prison and made numerous telephone calls to him.

The police had asked me to collate evidence of the parasite’s relationship with Gemma and give them a statement. Gemma’s phone bills were in my name, so I could see exactly how many calls she had made to ‘Hertfordshire woman’, while the police were able to track the calls that she in turn had made to Gemma.

Needless to say then, the parasite had plenty of explaining to do when Mark Ling and Neil Ralph eventually turned up on her doorstep.

Her husband and her employers were completely oblivious to the double life that she had been leading. She was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice and was released on bail while the police continued their investigations.
Her bail agreement stipulated that she must keep away from Gemma, but I heard from sources other than the police that she got in touch with her via social media sites. I had seen that Gemma had replied to a tweet from someone with a name that I didn’t recognise, and I was convinced it was her because of the language that she used.

To this day, Gemma and I stay away from this subject, but she has gradually come to understand why I was trying to protect her from this woman.

‘Hertfordshire woman’ had been desperate to be part of Gemma and Forrest’s so-called love story, but I just wanted her to go back to her sad life and leave my daughter alone. I so hoped Gemma would one day see how this warped woman had cruelly manipulated the situation.

Around a month later, Mark Ling got back in touch to tell me that the police were continuing with their investigation and that it could potentially lead to another court appearance for Gemma and me. Alternatively, he said, they could drop the case and let her off with a warning.

I really wanted this parasite to be punished, but I couldn’t bear the thought of everything being dragged through court again. After giving the matter a lot of thought, I eventually decided to ask the police to drop the case. I hoped that the very fact that they had caught up with her and warned her would stop her contacting Gemma again.

I looked into seeing whether I could take out an injunction against the woman to make her stay away from Gemma, but this would have had to have come from Gemma herself, and I knew that would never happen. I just had to hope that their ‘friendship’ would burn out over time.

Since then, both parasites have shown their true colours.
‘Shrine woman’ turned really nasty when she discovered that Gemma was getting on with her life, and started calling her all sorts of disgusting names. Meanwhile, ‘Hertfordshire parasite’ started playing mind games, posting cryptic messages on Twitter, knowing full well that Gemma would understand what they meant. When that didn’t work, she then went on to target Gemma with abuse, as it dawned on her that the hold she had on my daughter was slipping away.

T
hroughout this period, I kept up my daily text messages to Gemma. To my delight, on Monday, 1 July 2013, she finally agreed to meet me.

I don’t know exactly what it was that finally triggered a response, but I didn’t care; I was beyond ecstatic to hear from her. I knew that I couldn’t afford to get ahead of myself, and that I would have to play everything carefully so that I didn’t jeopardise further communication between us, but I was so relieved that we could finally start to mend our broken relationship.

We agreed that Lilly, Gemma and me would go for dinner at the local Harvester restaurant and arranged that I would pick her up from Max’s at 6pm. As I was getting ready for our ‘date’, I remember feeling so nervous and excited about the prospect of spending a few hours with her after all this time. On top of that, I had the added challenge of trying
to keep Lilly awake for long enough for Gemma to see her. Usually I start Lilly’s bedtime routine at around 6pm, but on this occasion I wanted to try and keep her alert, and so I was singing my head off in the car on the way to Max’s.

When I got there, Gemma came out of the house and got into the back of the car to sit next to her baby sister. It was so wonderful to see them together again. I knew that Gemma had been really missing Lilly and it was lovely to watch her make a massive fuss over her. Seeing them together like that really helped defuse any kind of awkwardness that there might have been between us. I just quietly drove along, not wanting to break that special moment between them.

When we got to the restaurant, Gemma took Lilly out of her car seat and hugged her really tightly. Again, I didn’t want to interrupt their moment, so I just hung back.

I could see that the last few months had really taken their toll on Gemma. She looked so tired. She was still my beautiful daughter, of course, and she looked so lovely in her pretty summer dress, but under the surface I could see she was drained. The trial had obviously had a huge impact on her: she looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I knew that there were subjects that I had to avoid and I made a promise to myself that I would try not to bring up the subject of the trial. I had to treat her with kid gloves. If I wanted to move forward and have any kind of relationship with my daughter, I told myself, I had to respect everything that she said. I wouldn’t rant or lay my own feelings on the line: tonight was all about Gemma.

She didn’t want to eat, so we had a drink together and caught up on family stuff – how Alfie was doing, what Lee was up to and so on – and talked about her exams. I was so
pleased to hear that she thought that they were going well. It was a lovely, normal night that any parent and teenage child might have.

For about an hour, we just chatted away about this and that, but we were both aware that there was a massive elephant in the room. We were talking about everything under the sun except the trial. I know I had promised myself that I wouldn’t mention it, but I couldn’t help myself. Finally I plucked up the courage and asked her direct: ‘How did you feel about being in court?’

Gemma was absolutely fine about talking about it. She told me how she had felt weird having all her family and my friends there hearing about what had gone on. Of course she had known that it was all going to come out in the newspapers eventually, but she said she hadn’t wanted them to actually hear the words being said out loud. She also wanted to know why I had felt the need to be there every day. ‘You’re my daughter and the case was about you,’ I told her. ‘Why would I be anywhere else?’

We were both speaking very calmly and there was no bad feeling. I asked her why she hadn’t wanted to go back to court after she had given evidence, and she explained that she didn’t want to hear everyone talking about her. Also, she knew she would have had to contend with the press pack every day, even with the court order that was in force.

After a little while I asked her if she had been in contact with Forrest’s family. She told me that she hadn’t and, while I didn’t really believe her, I decided to leave it at that. There was no point in me pushing it – she knew exactly how I felt about him and their relationship.

I wanted to let the conversation flow rather than hound
her with questions. We talked a little about how her feelings about what had happened might change with the passage of time, and I reiterated that I would always be there for her, should there be anything she needed.

In total we were together for about three hours, after which I dropped her back at Max’s. We could have talked for much longer, but I needed to get Lilly properly tucked up in her cot, as she had been asleep for the whole time we were in the restaurant. Those three hours we had together at that Harvester had been enough for us to start rebuilding bridges. I knew we still had a long way to go, but I was so, so relieved that we were finally talking again.

Paul’s face lit up when I got back home. He could tell how happy I was about talking to Gemma again. He said: ‘That’s the first time I’ve seen a genuine smile on your face for ages!’

I then posted a picture of Gemma and Lilly on Facebook with the words ‘A great day!’ Almost immediately, I started receiving lots of lovely messages from friends and family – they all knew how much it meant to me to have spent time with Gemma. I hadn’t told anybody that I was going to meet her in case she cancelled, so it was great to now be able to tell everyone about it. One friend posted a comment that particularly touched me: ‘It’s good to see the adorable mermaid and the adorable princess reunited.’

I was determined to keep working on rebuilding our relationship, and continued sending Gemma text messages, encouraging her to come over to the house for dinner and so on. But I knew I had to be patient – I couldn’t pressurise her, I had to let her do things on her own terms and at her own pace.

One day, after we had been out shopping together, she came
back to the house with me. She was feeling really tired, so she went upstairs to her room for a nap. It was reassuring to know that she felt comfortable being there, but I didn’t put any pressure on her to stay and dropped her back at Max’s afterwards. It was great that it was all moving in the right direction, but I was still walking on eggshells, mindful we still had a long way to go.

Little by little, I could see that Gemma was learning to live without Forrest and was rebuilding her life. I heard through her schoolfriend Rosie’s mother that she had started to see more of her friends and was meeting new people. I wasn’t expecting Gemma to embark on another romance or anything, but I was glad that she was having fun again and doing all of the usual teenage stuff.

One day, Gemma was over at the house and she told me that she, Rosie, Lee and Lee’s girlfriend Natalie had booked tickets to go to Reading Festival. It was going to be her first festival where she would be staying over, so of course I was a little concerned and did my usual 20 questions about how safe it would be there and so on. Typical me: paranoidmum. com!

But as there would be four of them there together, I felt reassured everything would be OK, especially as one of them was her brother. I was a teenager once myself – I knew what kind of things went on at festivals, and I knew that they would all come back filthy and exhausted, but Gemma was sixteen now and I was happy for her to go and finally have some fun.

The festival took place over the August Bank Holiday weekend and Paul, Lilly and I were staying with his parents in Somerset while they were there; Maddie and Alfie were spending the weekend with Max. Driving back home on the
Monday, I received a text message from Gemma. She wanted to know if it would be OK if she stayed with us that night.

I was so thrilled. Barely a second later, I was furiously typing away on my phone: ‘Of course you can!’

Then came another text message: ‘Also, would you mind if I dye my hair?’ Again, I said that was fine – I was so delighted that she had even asked. I would probably have agreed to a party, too, if she had asked for one!

A little while later, I received another text message: ‘Had a bit of an accident with the hair dye’. ‘Uh-oh, here we go,’ I thought. When I got back to the house, Gemma had an expression on her face like she was five years old again and I had caught her playing with my make-up and jewellery. She looked at me with big sad eyes – ‘I’m so, so sorry, Mum …’

Upstairs, the bathroom looked like a crime scene. There was hair dye everywhere – up the walls, along the side of the bath, all over the sink. But what could I do? There was a time when I would have gone mental with her – it was a brand new house, after all – but it was just one of those things.

In a way, though, it was good to be living those typical teenage moments again, and the expression on Gemma’s face told me that underneath everything, she was still my little girl. It might sound crazy, but it was a moment to treasure.

After that, she never left. My precious mermaid was back.

I remained very careful about what I said to her, as we were still in different mindsets. I tried to take things slowly and treat her like a delicate china cup. It wasn’t so easy – Gemma had said some very hurtful things to me over those weeks – but I was terrified that she would leave again.

I felt very defensive if anyone said anything remotely critical about Gemma. I wanted her to have her own space to get
through everything. In hindsight, though, I wonder if perhaps I gave her too much space.

I have always set clear boundaries for my kids, and I have really learned how important they are over the last year or so. It is no good me trying to be their best friend all the time. After what had happened to Gemma, though, I didn’t always know what to do for the best. Whenever she would get particularly irritable or angry, I would seek advice from Sarah, who would invariably tell me that it was perfectly normal behaviour for someone in her situation.

When the trial was over, lots of people said to me, ‘Well, at least things can go back to normal now’. If only! What happened to Gemma feels like a life sentence that will never go away. Every aspect of our lives has been affected. Through my research into child abuse, I have learned that there is no way to know for certain how long it will take for my daughter to truly come to terms with what has happened to her. It could take her years.