The Season: Rush (Austin Arrows #1) (42 page)

Well, when he puts it that way…

Bianca

“Bianca, I need you to come down here.”

At the sound of my mom’s voice, I hop off my bed and grab my cell phone. My dad’s coming over to take me to the movies and to get pizza tonight. I didn’t think he’d be by until later, but I’ve been so excited I even managed to clean my room.

“Bye, Jasmine,” I call to the kitten curled up on my pillow. “I put some food down for you, and your new toy.”

As usual, Jasmine doesn’t even look up.

I race down the stairs with a smile on my face.

“Hey, Mom! Hey, James!” I turn the corner to see my mom and dad and Uncle Optimus sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey, squirt,” Uncle Optimus says as he gets to his feet.

“Hey.” I notice that he doesn’t look happy. I’m not sure if he’s mad at me or at my mom. I don’t want to ask. He’s probably mad at me after what I did to Kingston. I’ve been waiting for someone to say something.

My heart actually hurts.

“I gotta run,” he tells Mom and James. “Later, kiddo.”

With that, he’s out the door in a flash and I’m left staring at my mom and dad. They both look upset.

“Take a seat, Bianca.” My mom’s voice is stern but not mean.

I squeeze my cell phone in my hand and go to the table, pulling out the chair across from them.

“Did I do something wrong?”

My mom continues to look at me for what feels like forever.

“I should’ve brought this up a while back, but … well, things have been a little hectic, as you know. I wanted to talk to you about the Facebook post.”

I smile. It brought my mom and dad together.

“Why didn’t you talk to me before you posted that, Bianca?”

My smile falls because clearly she’s not happy about that. “I don’t know.”

“Why did you create a second account so that I wouldn’t see it?”

“I don’t know.” It’s the only answer I can come up with.

“You can do better than that,” my mom says, clearly reading my mind.

“I didn’t want you to be mad.”

“If you thought I’d be mad, why’d you do it?”

“Because I wanted to find my dad.” I look at James. He’s not saying anything, nor does he look like he’s on my side.

“You know you could’ve talked to me about that. I would’ve tried to help you. I could’ve posted from my account to ensure your safety.”

“I put the bar’s phone number,” I argue. I really was being safe. I didn’t put any information about myself, and I didn’t answer any messages that I got. Not that I got many.

My mom laughs, but it doesn’t sound like she finds it funny.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I wanted to find him.” I look at James. “Aren’t you glad I did it?”

“I am,” he says softly.

See? I knew he would be on my side.

“But, Bianca,” he continues, “I agree with your mom. Going behind her back… Not only does it hurt her, but it puts you in danger.”

“But I wasn’t in danger. It wasn’t like—”

“Bianca,” James says more firmly. “We understand why you did it. And I’m extremely thankful that it worked out. However, the way you handled it wasn’t the right way.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I won’t do it again.”

My mom sighs. “I’m glad it worked out, too. But Bianca, you’ve been defying me quite a bit lately. First it was your hair, then it was the Facebook stuff. I think proper punishment is in order.”

“
What?
” My mother has never punished me before. “Like what?”

“You’re grounded from your phone for one week.”

“One week! Are you insane?” I can’t believe she’s doing this! “That’s not fair. You know it’s not fair.” I can’t stop the tears from falling.

“Bianca…”

“No! That’s not fair. I wanted to find my dad. That’s my right. I can’t be punished for that!”

“You’re not being punished for finding him,” she clarifies. “You’re being punished for the way you’ve been handling things lately.”

“You act like I’ve done all this stuff!”

My mom’s eyes narrow. “You want to tell me about the text messages you sent to Kingston?”

Oh, crap.

Ellie

I’ve been constantly glancing at the clock for the past half hour. That’s exactly how long it’s been since James and Bianca left to go to dinner. Because of our talk, they had to switch the movie to afterward. They tried to get me to go with them, but I couldn’t. I don’t want to lead Bianca on and make her think something is going to happen between her dad and me.

It was bad enough that Spencer came over to inform me about Bianca’s text message to Kingston. No wonder the man won’t even look me in the eye. My own daughter told him that I was gearing up to move in with James. I can’t imagine how hurt Kingston was to hear that from her. I’m still upset that she did it.

Her argument for it was that the only thing in the world that she wants now is for me and James to get together so we can all be a happy family. James and I both told her—
again
—that wasn’t going to happen. She had the decency to look contrite. Our conversation got a little heated, and I’m not sure it ended the way Bianca hoped it would—despite all her arguments, she is still grounded from her phone—but I feel better now that we’ve talked it out.

Granted, dealing with a distraught preteen who won’t have her cell phone for a solid week… That’s going to be torture. I’m not sure who’s going to be punished more, her or me.

Grabbing the remote, I flip on the television, then head to the kitchen to grab a glass of wine. I thought about going to the restaurant tonight but decided against it at the last minute. I knew I would be too worried about Bianca to be effective. Plus, Julie seems to have everything covered anyway. I think I might have to hire the girl on full time. She has been a lifesaver these last few months.

With wine in hand, I’m about to sit on the couch when my doorbell rings.

I look at the door, then over at the television, then down at the leggings and sweater that I threw on earlier.

I didn’t order pizza.

Noelle said she had plans.

Spencer told me he had something to take care of.

Bianca’s having dinner with her dad.

Who could possibly be at my door?

I set the glass down and head over when the doorbell rings a second time. A quick check in the security hole and my breath gets stuck in my throat. Then a stampede of butterflies takes flight in my belly.

Somehow I manage to turn the knob and open the door, coming face-to-face with…

“Hey.”

My heartbeat accelerates at the sound of that voice, and I find myself looking up into Kingston’s beautiful brown eyes. That flutter turns into a full-on butterfly ambush, and I might feel a little nauseated.

I didn’t expect to see him. In fact, I wasn’t sure we would ever have a personal conversation again. Ever since I went to his hotel room in Colorado and we made love, I haven’t talked to him. No texts, no phone calls, no nothing. It’s possible that I’ve shed a tear or two while in the shower, but since it’s the shower, and it is, you know, wet, I can’t be sure.

Not that I want Kingston knowing that.

“Hey,” I say, realizing I’m still staring at him.

He looks so good.

We stand there for a few awkward seconds and I don’t know what to say. I want more than anything to close the gap between us, maybe throw my arms around his neck, but I’m scared to. I don’t know why he’s here.

“Aww, hell.” Kingston’s through my door in an instant and he’s pulling me against him. My head finds that perfect spot on his chest and my arms go around him. I’m squeezing him, probably a little too hard, but I can’t help it.

His lips brush my forehead and he breathes deep. “God, I’ve missed you.”

Emotion slams into me, clogging my throat, causing tears to spring to my eyes. I pull back and look up at him, trying to read between the lines. I don’t think there are any lines, but I’m trying to form them, anyway. Kingston tilts my head back with his finger beneath my chin, then presses his lips to mine. I lean into him a little, relaxing for what feels like the first time in … forever.

When he pulls back, I realize I’m crying.

He brushes the tears away with his thumbs, his eyes locked with mine. It’s quite possible he has tears in his eyes, too, but my vision is blurry, so I can’t be sure.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispers. “Ellie… God, baby. I’m…”

I force a smile and choke back a sob. “An idiot?”

“Yeah, definitely that.”

He pulls me in again, crushing me to his chest. I don’t try to pull away, because this is the only place I want to be. The only place I ever want to be.

“I need to explain,” he finally says.

He really does. I’m not going to argue there. He owes me that much. Plus, I owe him some explanations, as well.

“Have you eaten?” I ask.

Kingston shakes his head.

“Good,” I say as I take his hand and pull him toward the kitchen. “Then you can make me dinner.”

56

Kingston

I damn sure wasn’t in the position to refuse Ellie dinner. Nor would I have even if I were. The second I saw her… Let’s just say, it’s a wonder I’m still on my feet. If I were a crying man, I would probably be in tears right about now.

“Wine?” she offers.

I smile, possibly for the first time in a month. “I’ll take a beer if you have one.”

“Of course.”

Ellie opens the refrigerator and retrieves a Sam Adams. I refuse to wonder whether or not this is the same beer James drinks. I force myself to believe that she has this beer because of me.

“So, what’s for dinner?” I ask, coming around behind her to peek into the refrigerator.

“You don’t have to cook for me,” she says, turning to face me.

Looking down into her face, I can’t resist the urge to touch her. My fingers itch with the need to feel her soft skin. I cup her jaw and brush my thumb over her cheekbone.

“I owe you an apology,” I tell her, my words heavy with the emotions churning inside me. “I should’ve never talked to you the way that I did. I should’ve never given you the cold shoulder.”

Ellie smiles sadly. “I owe you one, too. I was so busy worrying about how James’s sudden appearance was going to affect Bianca, I didn’t explain myself to you.”

I shake my head and frown. “Don’t ever apologize for putting Bianca first. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ellie. I jumped to conclusions when I should’ve talked to you. I was selfish…”

Ellie’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t speak. I can tell she wants me to finish.

I swallow hard and decide to tell her everything. From the beginning. “I didn’t come up with the pretend girlfriend plan. Amber did that.” When Ellie nods, I keep going. “I didn’t suggest you. Spencer did that.”

She looks almost disappointed, but I’m not finished.

Brushing my thumb under her chin, I tilt her head back so she has to meet my gaze. “But from that moment on, I wasn’t about to miss the opportunity that had all but been dumped at my feet. For years, I’ve tried to get you to notice me.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” she says with a watery smile. “Definitely noticed.”

I kiss her softly, then pull back. “When I thought about a pretend relationship with you, there was never anything pretend about it. Not from the very first day. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you. And I’ve wanted you more every single day since.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I was a chickenshit. I thought I owed it to your brother to respect his wishes. He didn’t want me to screw up our friendship. I get that. But then I thought about the fact that I may never have the opportunity again. Then I saw Bianca’s Facebook post, and I knew I couldn’t sit back and let this opportunity pass me by.”

“And now?”

A hot ball of emotion is lodged in my throat. It’s the same one that has been pinging around in my chest for the past few weeks. Her eyes lock on my face and I’m lost. So lost. For so long, I’ve tortured myself by staying away from her. Now, as I stand here, cupping her face, I don’t know how I managed.

And this is the moment I realize, without a doubt, that I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman. I am wholeheartedly in love with her. There are no fireworks, no strobe lights or techno music. In fact, the only sound I hear is the rapid thump of my heart in my chest.

This woman owns me. Mind, body, and soul.

“I love you, Ellie. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. I want to help you raise Bianca. I want to have more babies with you. I want… God, Ellie, I want to marry you. I’ve never wanted any of this, never thought I would. But I’ve always known, since that very first day … you were supposed to be mine. I may not deserve you, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t give the very heart in my chest to make you happy.”

Tears are streaming down her face, and I feel her chin tremble beneath my thumb. I need her to say something. I need her to tell me that I haven’t spilled my guts for no reason. I need to hear—

“I love you,” she whispers, the words so soft I hardly hear them.

Throwing my arms around her, I pull her in tight, my mouth to her ear. “Say it again, Ellie. Tell me again.”

“I love you.” Her chest is heaving as her body shudders from her sobbing. I hate that she’s crying, I hate that I made her cry, but those three words…

“Forgive me, Ellie. I need to know that you can forgive me.”

She pulls back, her clear green eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “There’s nothing to forgive, Kingston. You reacted based on emotion. It hurt me, yes. But I know you. I know that you walked away because you thought it was best.”

“I don’t know how I managed that,” I tell her truthfully. I still don’t know how I actually walked away from her. These past two months have been pure hell.

Ellie pulls back, putting a small amount of space between us. “I want you to talk to James. I want you to get to know him. I wanted you to meet him sooner … before he met Bianca. I trust your reactions to people. He’s a good guy. If he wasn’t, I damn sure wouldn’t trust him with my daughter. But you have to know that he is going to be a part of her life.”

“I know that. I would never want to come between them. I’ve only ever wanted her to be happy.”

Ellie frowns. “I think she’s going to be disappointed.”

My heart aches once again. “How so?”

“My sweet, optimistic child has conjured up this fairy tale of happily ever after between James and me. We sat her down again today and told her that wasn’t going to happen. I think she still holds out hope. James promised he would have a conversation with her tonight. She feels bad about what she did. About the text message she sent you.”

Apparently Spencer opened his big fucking mouth.

I can hardly swallow, but I wait for her to continue.

“James knows that I’m in love with you. He’s actually the one who brought it up. I didn’t think I was that transparent, but…” Her smile widens. “Apparently, I am. He’s not looking to interfere. It’s not like that between us.”

And to think, my own stupidity was the only thing that was keeping me from this woman. I’m an idiot. “So where do we go from here?” I need her to tell me what she wants, what she needs. I’ll give her anything.

The corner of her mouth quirks and a mischievous gleam lights her eyes. “Well, I was thinking…”

Ellie tugs at the hem of my T-shirt, pulling me forward. I follow.

“We’ve got the place to ourselves for”—she glances at the clock on the microwave—“two more hours. I was thinking we could try out one of those toys you left over here.”

When she reaches the hallway, I pull her up short, spinning her around to face me. “I was thinking… Tonight … how about we forego the toys. Let me love you the way I’ve wanted to love you all along. Let me make love to you.”

“How can I possibly say no to that?”

“You can’t.” And to prove my point, I lift her up over my shoulder and carry her to her bedroom. With one smooth kick of my foot, the door shuts, and a second later, I’ve locked it, as well.

For the next two hours—and hopefully for the rest of eternity—this woman is mine.

All mine.