The Secret Wife (13 page)

He didn’t want to think about that now. He didn’t want to remember how her rejection of their lovemaking had been a personal rejection of him, of his body and his soul. He’d bared himself to her and she’d turned away in disgust.

Those memories battled with desire and won. So, despite the sweet pressure against his mouth, he did nothing. And when she broke the kiss and gave him a tentative smile, he found it easy not to smile back.

Her mouth straightened and the humor faded from her eyes. “I suppose I deserve that,” she said. “I wish…”

She shrugged and left without saying what she wished.

He wished she would come back and kiss him again. Because the pain wasn’t enough of a warning. If she’d kept it up a little longer, he would have given in. As it was, he was forced to spend the next half hour alone in his office, waiting for the proof of his desire to fade and the trembling in his body to still.

At least she was leaving for a few days. Maybe time apart would allow him to regain some distance.

But the thought of her being gone didn’t please him. Instead he had the strong urge to call her back and ask her not to go.

Chapter Eight

E
lissa pulled up in front of her sister’s house. Before she had a chance to turn off the engine, Kayla and Fallon spilled out the front door and hurried toward her. Elissa quickly turned the key and opened her door. She found herself pulled into a group hug that left her breathless and laughing.

“We haven’t been apart that long,” she teased when Fallon and Kayla released her.

“It feels like forever,” Kayla said. “Maybe because I’m married now.”

“Uh-oh. It’s only been a month and already days seem like months,” Fallon teased. “See, getting married makes you old before your time.”

“I’m ignoring you,” Kayla said good-naturedly. “I know for a fact that you adore Patrick and that you’re happy for both of us. Marriage is a fabulous invention. My only regret is that Patrick and I waited as long as we did to figure out we were in love.”

“You’re welcome,” Elissa said.

Kayla kissed her cheek. “I believe I thanked you before, but I’m happy to do it again. Patrick is the best thing that ever happened to me. But let’s not talk about that. What’s going on in your life?”

“Nothing that exciting,” Elissa said.

Fallon glanced at her white Honda. “Are you running away?”

Elissa waved at the luggage piled in her back seat. “No. I’m taking a few things back to the orphanage with me.”

Kayla and Fallon exchanged knowing looks.

“It’s not what you think,” Elissa said quickly.

Faces that looked so much like hers that strangers couldn’t tell them apart took on identical expressions of disbelief. Green eyes widened slightly and mouths turned up into teasing smiles.

“Uh-huh,” Fallon said, linking her arm with Elissa’s. Kayla took Elissa’s other arm. “No problem. We believe you. We’re even going to let you live with the illusion of privacy for a couple of hours. Then, when it gets late and we’ve lulled you into a false sense of security, we’re going to pounce like rabid animals and wrestle your secrets from you.”

Elissa turned to Kayla. “I think the kids are starting to get to her.”

“She’s always like this when the school year begins. She’s nearly as hyper as her students. I’m sure that’s why they adore her.”

The three women started for the house.

“They adore me because I’m a good teacher.” Fallon’s teasing voice turned serious. “I’m going to miss it when I take my sabbatical.”

Kayla shook her head. “I can’t believe that I was the one with all the plans to see the world and you’re going to be the one doing the traveling.”

“Nothing turns out like we expect,” Elissa said, thinking of her own odd relationship with Cole. She couldn’t define it, nor could she explain her feelings.

Two nights before, she’d given in to impulsive feelings and hugged him. When he’d hugged her back, pressing his body to hers, she’d had a strong sense of homecoming. As if she’d only ever been alive in his arms. Odd, because the sex between them had been so strained.

She’d felt something else, too. Something like heat bubbling through her. As if her skin had suddenly grown too small. The achy sort of restlessness had followed her most of the night. She still couldn’t explain it.

The front door of the house opened and Patrick stepped outside. Kayla’s husband was a blond, blue-eyed hero type who could easily pose for the cover of GQ. “My three favorite women in the world,” he said.

Elissa slipped free of her sisters and went to her brother-in-law. He took both her hands in his and smiled at her. “Elissa, welcome.”

“You can still tell us apart,” she said.

“Of course. Although I keep telling Kayla that the bonus is if we ever get bored with each other, one of you can trade places with her and I’ll pretend not to notice. Three for the price of one, so to speak.”

Elissa kissed Patrick on the cheek and grinned at him. “What do we get out of it?”

He winked. “I’m pretty amazing.”

“Gee, and Kayla never thought to mention that.”

Patrick released her and touched his chest. “I’m mortally wounded.”

“You deserve to be. You’re recently married and already talking about sister swapping?”

“Only in theory.” His gaze lingered on his wife.

Elissa read the love there. As Kayla’s sister and Patrick’s friend, she was thrilled for the happiness they’d found together. As a person, she was willing to admit to a twinge of envy. Their relationship had been a little rocky at the beginning, but only because they were both so stubborn. It had been obvious to everyone else that they were wild about each other. They’d nearly had to lose each other in order to find where they needed to be.

She and Cole had lost each other—for years—and it hadn’t helped at all. Is that what she wanted? To find her relationship with her husband? She shook her head. She didn’t want that flawed relationship back; she wanted something stronger and more mature.

Patrick opened the front door and motioned for everyone to step inside.

“I hate to greet and run,” he said, “but I have a few last-minute details to take care of for the opening of the research facility. Are you three going to be okay here by yourselves?”

The sisters looked at each other and laughed.

“We’ll be fine,” Kayla assured him, moving into her husband’s embrace. “Amazingly enough, we’re used to being alone together. We have fun.”

“Okay. I’ll be late. Don’t wait up.” He kissed her cheek, waved and left.

Kayla stared after him. “Did I get lucky, or what?”

“Very lucky,” Fallon said, then turned to Elissa and added in a mock whisper, “This ‘in love’ stage is so gross. You think she’ll get over it soon?”

“Probably not for another couple of months.”

Kayla put her hands on her hips. “I can hear you guys.”

“We know.” Fallon grinned. “Come on, Elissa. You’re bunking with me. Do you still snore?”

Elissa chuckled. “No, do you?”

“Never.”

The easy banter reminded her of all the good times she and her sisters had spent together. They were a team against the rest of the world. With them, she belonged.

But even as the easy conversation continued while they collected her overnight case and showed her to the pleasant guest room she would share with Fallon, Elissa found herself wishing for more.

If only Cole were with her. Despite the distance between them and her confusion about her feelings, he was her husband and as much a part of her as the sisters with whom she’d been born.

* * *

Elissa dipped her spoon into the pint of strawberry ice cream. After a dinner of spaghetti with homemade garlic bread, the last thing she needed was a very rich, very fattening dessert.

“Heaven,” she murmured, closing her eyes briefly as she let the treat melt on her tongue.

“That about describes it,” Fallon said from her place on the sofa. “All we need is some well-oiled young man rubbing our feet.”

Kayla shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’d rather have my sugar-and-fat fix separate from any foot rubbing. I want to be able to fully concentrate on the experience.”

“The foot rubbing or the eating?” Fallon asked.

Elissa chuckled. “The eating,” she and Kayla said in unison.

Fallon nodded. “That’s what I thought. Just checking.”

“This is nice,” Elissa said. “We were last together for our birthdays in July, but before that it had been close to a year. I like these get-togethers. Let’s not let another year go by before we do it again.”

“We’ll be together at Christmas,” Kayla reminded her. “That’s not so far away.”

“But it won’t be the three of us,” Fallon said. “You’re bringing Patrick.”

Kayla’s green eyes darkened. “Do you mind? I know it was supposed to be just the three of us, but he is my husband and—”

“Stop it,” Elissa said gently. “Fallon isn’t suggesting you leave Patrick behind. We like him. The point was it won’t be the same as just the three of us. I suggest we send him out on a fishing boat or something for the day and then make time to be alone together.”

“That’s great,” Kayla said.

Fallon scooped up another spoonful of ice cream. “Little Elissa. Forever the peacemaker. I guess some things never change.”

She was right, Elissa thought, glancing at her sisters. Kayla sat on the floor, her back against the sofa. She wore cutoff denim shorts and a tank top. Both had survived countless washings. There wasn’t a lick of makeup on her face and her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail.

Fallon claimed the other end of the sofa. Tailored trousers and a tucked-in short-sleeved silk blouse emphasized the slender feminine shape they’d all inherited. Fallon’s hair was loose, but she’d blown it dry with a big round brush, taking the time to smooth out most of the curls. Conservative makeup emphasized wide green eyes and high cheekbones. If Kayla was the bratty one, then Fallon was the grown-up.

Elissa looked down at her floral print sundress. Long hours playing outdoors with the children had left her legs and arms faintly tanned, so she wasn’t wearing panty hose. Her minimal makeup was somewhere between Kayla’s none and Fallon’s professional appearance. She’d pulled her hair back into a French braid, then tucked the end under, securing it out of sight with pins.

They were a study in contrasts, as if a magazine editor had taken the same woman and given her three different looks. Their personalities were as different as their clothing choices.

She glanced at the remaining half carton of ice cream, leaned forward in the love seat and picked up the cover from the table. She firmly put it in place, then stood. Each of her sisters followed suit. She collected the cartons and took them to the freezer.

“You know they’re not going to make it through the night,” Kayla called after her.

“I know,” Elissa said, “but let’s at least pretend we have control.” She returned to her seat and smiled. “So, what’s new in your lives?”

Fallon and Kayla exchanged a look.

“No, you don’t,” Fallon said. She crossed her legs and raised her eyebrows. “You’re the one suddenly living with her estranged husband. You go first.”

Elissa resisted the urge to squirm. In the back of her mind she’d been expecting them to question her. It was one of the reasons she’d come to spend the weekend. Her sisters always helped her see things more clearly. Right now she was so confused about Cole and herself, about her feelings and what she was doing at the orphanage.

“We’re not living together,” she said. “At least, not how you guys mean it.”

Kayla touched a hand to her chest. “Did I say anything about sex? Did you?” she asked, looking at Fallon. “I think not. Elissa, I’m deeply, deeply hurt you would assume that either of us would even stoop to consider that.”

“Uh-huh.” Elissa wasn’t fooled.

“So have you done the wild thing?” Fallon asked with a straight face. “You don’t have to go into a lot of detail. A simple ‘Yes, but I haven’t been on top yet’ would be sufficient.”

“You guys!” Elissa reached next to her for a small pillow and tossed it in their general direction.

Kayla nodded solemnly. “That would be a no, Fallon. Elissa and Cole have not done the wild thing yet.”

Laughter exploded in the room. Elissa leaned back in the love seat and realized she was lucky to have two wonderful sisters who cared about her.

When the room was quiet, she drew in a deep breath. “I like being there. Our visits when we were kids were so fleeting we never really got a chance to understand the workings of the orphanage. I thought it would be a sad place, but it isn’t. These children are warm and loving. All they want is to belong. While it isn’t the same as a traditional family, they have something there, and it’s quite wonderful.”

“A new career choice?” Fallon asked.

“Maybe. I’m not sure. It’s only been a few weeks, so I’m still at the ‘in love’ stage you get with any new job. Sometimes the work is hard and sometimes I don’t know what to say to the kids. The office work is easy, but it’s the children who give me a sense of purpose.”

“Kids are great,” Kayla agreed.

“Do you still stay in touch with that little girl you met earlier this year?” Fallon asked. “The one in the bad car accident?”

Kayla spent part of her day taking dogs to visit seniors at a nursing home. Earlier in the summer, she’d started visiting a young girl confined to bed in a body cast.

“Absolutely. Allison wasn’t up to coming to our wedding, but Patrick and I visited her just before we left on our honeymoon, and showed her pictures.” Kayla shifted on the floor and sat cross-legged. “So you like the kids at the orphanage. What else?”

“I also enjoy giving to them. I ordered a jungle gym and some sports equipment. They love playing with everything. It’s very satisfying to watch.”

“Elissa, tell me you’re not being foolish with the money,” Fallon said, obviously concerned.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Elissa said. “In the past I was very worried about our trust fund. The thought of having a lot of money was terrifying.” She remembered the sleepless nights she’d spent as her twenty-fifth birthday had approached. While Fallon had devised a sensible plan for her money and Kayla had planned to travel the world, she, Elissa, had fretted.