The Secret wish List (11 page)

The easiest item on it is, of course, to learn salsa. I can do it without leaving town. I can do it without anyone’s help.

I have no idea how Sandeep will react if I express my desire to learn dancing to him.

On an impulse I google ‘salsa classes in Bangalore’ and I am stunned at the options it throws up. There are at least more than twenty options. There is Salsa, Jive, Cha-cha, Fox Trot, party dancing, Bollywood dancing.

One of the classes is very close to my home.

I stare at it like a child who has been shown a room full of candies and sweets. All these years there was a class happening so very close to where I live and I had no clue at all! How could I have been existing in such a cocoon?

On an impulse I pick up my mobile and dial the number of the dance studio.

Eleven

T
HE PERSON AT THE OTHER END INTRODUCES
himself as Gaurav and he is one of the instructors. He sounds friendly and welcoming. He says that a new batch is starting in eight days and I can come for a free demo session before that, provided I confirm to him and register for the same. The demo session is on Friday. I tell him that I am not sure if I want to join at all. I merely wanted to gather some information as I live in the neighbourhood.

‘Oh that is perfectly fine. Most people do that. There is no obligation at all to join after the demo class. You can try it out and see if this is your thing,’ he says.

‘That suits me,’ I reply. ‘I would like to register.’

He sounds suave and sophisticated on the phone, like one of those radio jockeys with perfect diction, and knows exactly what to say. I wonder how he will look in person. I already like how he sounds.

He notes down my name, address and phone number and tells me to come for the demo session on Friday at eleven am. He says that, if for some reason, I am cancelling my attendance, could I please let him know as they can then allot the place to someone else. He stresses that they take only ten people at a time.

All he has said so far sounds promising. I also learn that theirs is one of the oldest dance studios in Bangalore. He says that it is a dedicated dance studio unlike other places which are primarily fitness centres offering dance classes.

I think, ever since I got married, I haven’t felt this excited about anything. This is the first time I am doing something in secret. I debate whether or not I should tell Sandeep and ultimately decide against it. I am not sure how he will react if I announce a sudden interest in salsa, after all these years.

Also, I am a little apprehensive. I may not like it and decide against joining at all. So I do not see any point in telling him about it. I also wonder whether or not I should inform Vibha about my little salsa expedition. In the end I decide not to. She might just insist that I join and force me to enrol. And I want it to be my decision, not hers.

I am so thrilled about it that I can’t seem to contain my feelings. I desperately wait for Friday. My whole face seems to reflect my excitement and happiness. So much so that next day at the bus stop, when I am dropping off Abhay, the other mothers comment on it.

‘Hey, what’s up, Diksha? Did you join a new workout or something? You are really glowing today!’ says Jyoti whose daughter is a year younger than Abhay.

‘Or are you in love? Some secret
chakkar
, some extra-marital spice?’ asks Rachna whose son is in grade two.

‘Ha ha, nothing like that. I lead a boring life,’ I reply.

I am grateful when the bus arrives as it means I can dodge their questions.

When I return home, I quickly glance at myself in the bathroom mirror to see if I am that obvious. There is indeed a strange kind of eager anticipation in my eyes. They seem to be blazing. It is like I am hugging a great secret to myself. I am, but I did not expect to be this transparent.

I think a lot about what to wear for my first salsa class. I have stopped wearing skirts after marriage. I mostly have only salwar kameezes
.
I own just two pairs of jeans and one pair of tights. Sandeep hates any kind of ‘modern fancy clothes’ as he calls them and so my wardrobe is mostly limited to slightly subdued salwar kameezes and churidars.

Finally, I settle for my sole pair of tights and a loose flowing white cotton shirt, and I tie my hair back in a ponytail. It has been ages since I wore this outfit and, as I glance into the mirror, I am surprised to see how it seems to have taken ten years off me. Always on the slimmer side, I have fortunately not put on weight over the years. Whatever I gained after my pregnancy isn’t too much. I realise that in this outfit and hairstyle, I don’t even look like a mother anymore. I can easily pass off as someone on the threshold of a career.

I feel good to see how smart I look. It surprises me to discover what a huge difference clothes can actually make to the way you view yourself.

As I take an auto rickshaw from home to the salsa class, for some strange reason the words that Neil Armstrong said when he landed on the moon come to my mind: ‘That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.’

I feel as though the distance between my home and the salsa class is very little, yet I seemed to have crossed a huge barrier.

Stop it, Diksha—do not over dramatize. You are here just for a demo class, that’s all.

I try to calm my jittery nerves which seem to have a life of their own. I have half a mind to call this off, get down from the auto and run back to the safety of my home. But I don’t. I force myself to act normal.

I reach the dance studio and climb the stairs to the first floor where our class is to take place. From the outside it looks quite unimpressive, but the moment I enter, it is a different world altogether. There is some really catchy Latino music playing. It is something I have never heard before. The studio is fairly large, about four thousand square feet easily with a wooden flooring throughout. Just outside the large hall with a glass door, which let you see what is going on inside, is the reception area done up entirely in white. This is where Gaurav greets me.

Gaurav is muscular and tall and
very
good-looking. He can easily pass off for a model. I am mesmerised by his looks. My mind does a ‘wooo-hoo’ inside my head and I ask it to shut up and behave itself. He has a confident manner about him and he extends his hand, ‘Hey there! I am Gaurav, and you are...?’ he asks

‘Diksha,’ I reply as I shake his hand. I get a whiff of cologne and it adds to his sex-appeal.

‘Oh, Gorgeous. Charmed to meet you,’ he says and I cannot help smiling a rather large grin at the words he has chosen.

He then ticks off my name and takes me inside where there are about six students, four guys and two girls.

‘Diksha, these are the others who will be in the demo class with you. We will wait for about ten more minutes. A few others are yet to arrive.’

I nod. Then I see a petite woman dancing by herself in the corner. I am amazed at her movements and grace.

‘Hey, Lorraine,’ calls out Gaurav and she turns towards us, waves and continues dancing.

‘Diksha, that is Lorraine, one of our senior instructors. We will have a mix of experienced people and beginners for this class. Varun, our other instructor will also be joining us shortly. Now feel at home and we will start in fifteen minutes,’ he says as he leaves me in the studio.

The other six look as lost as me. It is clearly their first time and we all stare in fascination at Lorraine who seems to be oblivious to us, as she sways her hips and practises the most complicated moves with ease and panache.

I am not sure what conversation to make with these people and so I keep quiet.

One of the guys approaches me and extends his hand.

‘Gagan,’ he says.

‘Diksha,’ I offer and realise as I shake his hands that they are clammy with sweat. I do not like it at all.

‘First time?’ he asks

‘Yes,’ I reply, trying to avoid conversation.

‘Me too. What do you do, Diksha? Nice name by the way,’ he smiles.

I do not want to be drawn into a conversation with Gagan—the clammy-pawed-man (as I have named him in my head).

‘I am in between jobs,’ I lie and am surprised at how easily it comes to me.

‘Ah ha! Laid off, eh?’ he asks.

‘Between projects, actually. Thinking of switching and weighing my options.’

The lies easily roll of my tongue and I wonder where in the world they are coming from. This seems to be a new avatar of me and I barely know myself anymore.

By now, the others too have gathered around us and we all introduce ourselves to each other.

Janie and Nitya are the girls. Janie is engaged and will be getting married soon, and before she does, she wants to learn salsa. Nitya is in college and finds salsa a fun activity to pursue.

I catch only one guy’s name. He is Pavan and is a techie. He looks fit and is about five feet ten inches. Among the other two whose names I have failed to remember, one is engaged to be married. He is short and balding and has the beginnings of a potbelly. The other guy is about six feet tall and lanky.

‘I thought this would be a good place to meet singles like me,’ he says and grins at Nitya and me, revealing perfect teeth.

I shudder inwardly. I cannot make up my mind whether I like him or not. Maybe he is a nice guy but I don’t like how he has so blatantly announced that he is here scouting around for a girlfriend. Perhaps, this is the accepted norm among people who are single. I have no idea as I have never been in the ‘dating-mating’ game, having proceeded straight to matrimony and later to motherhood, all whilst in college.

I want to tell him that I am not single and I even have a child, but before I can say anything, Gaurav comes back.

He claps his hands to get our attention.

‘Welcome people. So this is our batch. Looks like we have had some last-minute cancellations, but that’s okay. Seven is a good number. Three of us are your instructors for the day—Varun, Lorraine and me. So that makes us ten in all, and all of us will have a partner. Gentlemen, since there are only four women, we will have to take turns to dance with the ladies. Initially, we will be doing only the basic steps for which you do not need partners,’ he says.

Then he arranges us in rows. There are end-to-end mirrors in the hall. It is the first time I have been in such an environment and I stare at the multiple reflections, fascinated.

‘Now, Lorraine and I will do a quick demo to let you all get a feel of salsa and what you can hope to achieve at the end of sixteen lessons,’ he says.

Lorraine turns up the volume. The Latino music is infectious and makes one want to dance. Gaurav and Lorraine dance like they are possessed. All of us watch with our jaws dropping. In deft moves and with perfect rhythm, Gaurav has spun Lorraine around, like a top. Then, just as swiftly, he pirouettes her back towards him, drops her down and pulls her back in spring motion. He does some amazing lifts and jumps. They dance as one and when it ends, all of us break into spontaneous applause.

‘So this is what you can do with practice,’ he says and we all look at each other and laugh nervously.

‘If I manage to do that, you can charge me double,’ says Gagan and everyone burst out laughing.

‘Have patience. You have sixteen lessons and also a whole lot of practice sessions. We will be teaching you step by step, but first things first. I must tell you all a few important things and I want your full attention,’ says Gaurav.

He goes on to tell us that we will be rotating partners. Salsa is a form of dance, he says, fairly new to India, where you dance closely with a partner. Given that fact, he says with a grin, everyone has to be extra careful about body odour and general hygiene. The upshot is, that guys must shave, shower and brush their teeth before class. ‘Sorry to bring this up, guys, but it is very important that you be considerate to your partner, and ensure your hygiene is impeccable. I’ve had guys come to class straight after gymming and I’ve had to actually tell them that they smell atrocious! I don’t want to repeat that experience with you guys,’ he laughs, then adds, ‘Women are usually cleaner by nature and smell good too.’ All of us smile.

‘Also, there is this whole thing about rotating partners. Please remember, folks, you are only dancing, not having sex.’ He emphasizes. ‘Okay, at least not in class. What you do outside is your business,’ he adds and winks and everyone chuckles.

He talks about why it is important to rotate partners and how the guys have to ‘lead the woman’ in salsa. He tell us that there is a certain basic etiquette in salsa, or in any other form of dance, which when followed, makes dancing more pleasurable. He goes on to explain with examples from his previous classes.

The next forty-five minutes are spent learning the three basic salsa moves.

Lorrainne and Varun demonstrate and we all follow.

‘One two three, back. Five six seven,’ goes the count.

Gaurav walks up and down and comes to each of us individually to see if we are getting the moves right.

‘Do not worry if you do not get it the first time. Do it as slowly as you can and keep at it. You will eventually learn,’ he encourages.

The teachers break down the moves into easy bits and I pick up the basics very easily.

‘Excellent, Diksha. You are getting it fine,’ Gaurav says as he stands next to me and watches me do the steps.

I glow with pride.

I know then that I want to join the course. This experience has been such a high that I want more of it.

I want to dance with these people. I want to learn all the moves. I feel really wonderful here in this studio. In fact, I feel young, vibrant and carefree—something I have never felt before, at least not for a long, long time now.

After the demo session, Gaurav asks how many of us want to enrol.

All of us do. There is not a single drop-out. Gaurav smiles in satisfaction, but isn’t surprised.

He tells us that the sessions will be held twice a week—Fridays and Tuesdays. He asks what time best suits all of us. The majority votes for one thirty pm as that’s the lunch hour. Most of the guys are on flexi-time. Both the girls are free as they have their semester break.