The Secretary's Secret (5 page)

K
IT’S
pallor, the way she bit her bottom lip and her down-turned mouth all struck at Alex’s heart, making him forget his own panic. He wished he could make her smile. He’d been able to—once.

He stood and pretended to survey the sofas. ‘You know what? The plastic-wrapped look was a smart choice. I think it could really take off.’

She didn’t smile.

‘I hear babies make a lot of mess. You might want to keep this look for the next three or four years.’

He couldn’t believe he’d said the word
babies
without flinching. ‘You know, we could plastic-wrap the whole interior of this room. You could just hose it down at the end of every day. It’d save you loads of time.’ He was glad he’d made the effort when her lips shifted upwards the tiniest fraction.

He shook himself. Enough of this. ‘C’mon, let’s get you to the medical clinic.’ He reached down and helped her to her feet. He didn’t release her arm. ‘Are you feeling dizzy or faint?’ Should he carry her to the car?

His skin pulled tight with need. It rocked him to find just how much he wanted to touch her, to have her in his arms.

She shook her head. Carefully, as if the action hurt. ‘I just feel as if I have a bad case of the flu without the sore throat and sniffles.’

His chest clenched. The sooner she saw a doctor the sooner she’d get medicine—antibiotics or whatnot—to make her feel better. But when she removed her arm from his grasp all he could think for a moment was how the day had darkened. They were just about to leave when they found the door blocked by two figures.

‘Hello, lovey, we’re Frank and Doreen from next door.’ An elderly couple tripped into the room. ‘Hello, Kit dear.’

He blinked.
Lovey?
Him? Nobody…
nobody
had
ever
called him lovey. He rolled his shoulders, cracked his neck.

‘Hi, Auntie Doreen.’

Her aunt!

‘The boys just told us what happened. We thought we’d pop our heads in to see if there’s anything we can do.’ Doreen turned to Alex. ‘Frank here used to be a welder, you know.’

Frank here looked about seventy in the shade.

‘He’s handy with his hands.’

And then she winked at him.

Alex swallowed back a smart rejoinder. How on earth did a welder propose to fix a hole in a wall, not to mention another in the roof? Even if he was
handy with his hands.

Nevertheless, when the older man extended his hand Alex shook it. ‘Alex Hallam.’ He glanced at Kit. She looked ready to drop. ‘I’m sorry, but Kit is running a temperature. We’re off to the medical clinic.’ He waved a hand at the mess. ‘I’ll deal with all this later.’

‘You run along, lovey, while we see what we can do.’

He didn’t want this unconventional pair messing with Kit’s house. Things were bad enough already.

‘We’ll close the door when we leave.’

Kit didn’t seem concerned or put out by Doreen’s words so he shrugged and edged her towards the door.

Doreen leant across to squeeze Kit’s hand as they passed. ‘So glad your young man has finally arrived.’

‘Oh, but he isn’t—’

‘Young,’ Alex bit out. He continued to shepherd her all the way out of the door and towards his car. They didn’t have time for explanations.

Alex accompanied Kit into the doctor’s consulting room. She didn’t put up a fight, but he had a feeling that had more to do with how unwell she was feeling rather than a sign of her trust in him.

The doctor frowned and pointed to a chair when Alex started pacing up and down. He planted himself in it and tried not to fidget. Then he scowled. The doctor looked as if he was just out of high school! Surely he was too young to know which way was up, let alone—

‘Relax, Alex,’ Kit groaned.

Relax? How could he relax when she looked like death warmed up? Why hadn’t he picked up on that earlier? He could have unknowingly made her worse. He’d walked into her house as if he’d had every right and demanded she come back to work. Without a thought for what she really wanted. All to ease his conscience. As if he knew what would make her happiest. As if he knew what was best for her.

He knew zilch.

He dragged a hand back through his hair. He did know one thing. When a woman told you she was pregnant with your child, you shouldn’t throw up. Bad reaction. Wrong reaction. Completely inappropriate.

And completely out of his control.

But…Kit was carrying
his child
?

He slammed a wall down on that thought.

Not his baby, Kit’s. And if Kit lost her baby because of anything he’d done—

Bile rose up to burn his throat. He choked it back. He would never forgive himself if that happened. Never.

‘Kit, you have a kidney infection. I suspect you’ve had a urinary tract infection, not all that unusual during pregnancy, which has travelled to your kidneys.’

Alex’s head snapped up at the doctor’s words. ‘How serious is that?’ he barked. It sounded bad.

Kit didn’t look at him, but her hands shook. He clenched his to fists. ‘What he said,’ she whispered.

‘We’ve caught it early.’

Her hands cradled her abdomen and Alex couldn’t take his eyes from them. Such small, fragile hands.

‘Will my baby be okay?’

‘Yes. As long as you do everything I say.’

Kit swallowed and nodded. Alex leaned forward to make sure he caught every word the doctor uttered.

‘I’m booking you in for an ultrasound on…’ he surveyed his computer ‘…on Thursday. It’ll put both you and your regular doctor’s minds at rest. I’ll also prescribe you a course of antibiotics, and no, they won’t harm your baby,’ he added before Kit could ask. ‘But, until your ultrasound, I want you to have complete bed rest.’

‘Oh, but—’

‘You can get up to go to the bathroom. You can have a quick shower or tepid bath once a day. But the rest of the time I want you in bed.’

Kit’s hands twisted in her lap. ‘I…’

The doctor peered at her over the top of his glasses. ‘It’s better to be safe than sorry, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, of course. It’s just…’

The doctor turned to Alex. ‘She’ll need someone to stay with her, look after her.’

Alex nodded, ignoring the way his stomach dropped. ‘I’ll do that.’ Thursday? He could stay till Thursday, or even the weekend. Kit wouldn’t be sick if she wasn’t pregnant. And she wouldn’t be pregnant if it wasn’t for him.

Thursday or the weekend? It was the least he could do.

He could see that Kit didn’t like the idea. In fact, she probably loathed it. Not that he could blame her.

The doctor pointed at Kit. ‘You rest. It’s important, you hear?’

Kit nodded and swallowed. ‘I hear.’

Alex wanted to hit the doctor for frightening her.

The doctor’s glare transferred itself to Alex. ‘She’s to have no stress, no worry. She’s not to be upset in any way.’

Alex’s hands clenched as fear punched through him then too. ‘Right.’ No stress, no worry. He could manage that. For Kit. Till Thursday. Or the weekend.

‘I don’t need you to stay with me, Alex,’ Kit said the moment he pulled his car to a halt out the front of her house and turned off the ignition.

He didn’t blame her for not wanting him there. In her shoes he wouldn’t want him staying over either, but hadn’t she heard a word the doctor said? She needed someone to stay with her, look after her. He wasn’t leaving until someone trustworthy was here to fill his shoes.

‘I’m happy to call one of your friends or a relative—perhaps your aunt Doreen—to stay with you, but I’m not leaving you alone, Kit. You heard what the doctor said,’ he added when she opened her mouth to argue.

She closed it again. She looked pale and wrung out, and he grimaced. ‘Look, this is the story, Kit. I’m staying in Tuncurry tonight. Now, whether that’s on one of your new sofas or in a hotel room is up to you.’

‘But—’

‘It’s getting a bit late to be driving back to Sydney, especially when I’m still jet-lagged from the Africa trip.’

She rested her head against the back of the seat as if it were too hard to hold it up under her own steam. He wanted to reach out and trace the line of her jaw, the curve of her cheek. He clenched his hand. Just get her into bed where she can rest. No stress, no worry.

He swallowed. ‘Kit, how does this sound for a plan? You let me crash on your sofa, just for tonight, and tomorrow we can discuss other arrangements?’

She closed her eyes and then finally she nodded. ‘Okay.’

He had a feeling she’d agree to just about anything at the moment if it meant she could rest.

He discovered that didn’t mean she’d let him carry her into the house, though. He stayed close behind her on the slow trek from the car to the house, in case she needed a hand. They both paused on the threshold. The living room looked like a bombsite, though Frank and Doreen had obviously done their best to sweep the debris into one tidy pile.

Kit picked up a note from the coffee table. ‘Doreen has left us a casserole.’ She started to turn. ‘I should pop over and thank her.’

‘I’ll do that. You go to bed.’

She didn’t look at him. She glanced about the room and her shoulders slumped. One of her small hands inched across her stomach. Alex’s chest burned. She looked so lost and alone. He touched her shoulder, but when she glanced up at him with big worry-filled eyes he found himself drawing her into his arms and pressing her head to the hollow of his shoulder. ‘It’s going to be okay, Kit.’

‘You don’t know that,’ she mumbled, but she didn’t draw away.

He stroked her hair in an effort to reassure her, but found himself revelling in her softness, in how good she smelt, instead. ‘We’ll do everything the doctor says and you and your baby will be fine.’

She stared up at him then, a frown in her eyes.

‘If the doctor had been really worried he’d have admitted you to hospital.’

She nodded, but the frown didn’t leave her eyes. ‘What are you still doing here, Alex?’

‘There are things we need to talk about.’ Maybe honesty would win him a measure of her trust. ‘It doesn’t matter how much I might want to leave, I can’t until we’ve thrashed some things out. But that can wait until later in the week. What’s important at the moment is for you to get better again.’

He hooked an arm under her knees and lifted her into his arms. Carrying her was easier than arguing with her.

Carrying her was divine.

‘Point me in the direction of your bedroom.’

She pointed to the corridor that led off the living room. ‘First door on the right.’

The moment he set foot inside it, he wanted to back out again. This bedroom, with its big wooden bed and plaid quilt in pastel shades piled decadently with cushions, was pure Kit. It reminded him of
that night
.

He set her down on her bed and then backed up fast, almost falling over his feet in his haste. ‘You need to rest—doctor’s orders. Nothing else matters at the moment, Kit. I’ll go and serve you up a plate of your aunt’s casserole.’ Even sick, she looked divine.

‘Honorary aunt. Doreen isn’t my real aunt.’

Right.

‘Alex?’

He turned in the doorway.

Her chin lifted as she met his gaze. ‘You’re going to leave us, aren’t you, me and our baby?’

Her bottom lip wobbled as the words whispered out of her. Each word pierced his flesh.

She bit her lip, maybe in an attempt to get it back under control, and then she pursed her mouth. ‘You know, Alex, I can understand you not wanting a future with me. I get that.’

She glanced away, swallowed. Her throat worked. He wanted to close his eyes.

She turned and her gaze met his again, her eyes dark and shadowed. Confusion and turmoil chased themselves across her face. ‘But how can you turn your back on our baby?’

A weight slammed into place. He must look like a monster in her eyes.

Maybe he was.

He wanted to tell her to rest but the words wouldn’t come.

‘You don’t care what’s best for me. You don’t care what’s best for our baby. All you care about is what’s best for you.’

She spoke almost as if to herself and her words chilled him. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but…

He shook himself. ‘Kit, I’m not abandoning you. I will be staying until the weekend.’

Her lips twisted. ‘What good do you think that will do anyone?’

He didn’t know how to answer.

She shifted slightly, her eyes suddenly glittering. ‘You know what? It might just be simpler if I make you a lump sum payment.’

‘What the hell…?’

‘For the donation of your sperm. That way, everyone knows exactly where they stand. There’ll be no misunderstandings.’ She lifted her chin. ‘I’m sure you can get those fancy lawyers of yours to draft something up.’

Horror welled through him. She couldn’t be serious! He—

No stress, no worry.

He clenched his hands to fists, drew in a ragged breath and swallowed back the denial that shot through him. Her eyelids had started to grow heavy. A sheen of perspiration filmed her face. She continued to glare at him with her chin hitched up like a warrior’s, but he knew a discussion like this couldn’t be good for her. ‘Rest now, Kit. We’ll talk later.’

Not that there was much more to say, he realized, his mouth growing sour with the knowledge. He turned away and headed for the kitchen. Food and making sure Kit rested—he’d focus on what he could do.

An hour later, Alex found himself on Frank and Doreen’s front veranda, hand raised to knock on their door. He’d made a deal with Kit—she’d try to sleep and he’d come over and thank Frank and Doreen.

He shifted his feet, scowled at the ground and knocked.

‘Lovey!’ Doreen appeared. ‘C’mon in.’

He shook his head and fought the urge to fidget. ‘I don’t want to leave Kit for too long in case she needs me. I just—’

‘Frank! It’s Kit’s young man, Alex.’

Alex gritted his teeth.

‘Come in and have a beer, young man,’ Frank offered.