The Secrets Of Female Sexuality (4 page)

Then I’d tease her with oral stimulation and hold her right on the edge. Then I’d ravage her by fucking her hard, which always resulted in spectacular orgasms. They loved it!

I pushed things further, even to the point of making her seem like a slut. I found that women responded powerfully to that.

I would say to women, while fucking them doggy style up the ass and pulling their hair, “You love to get fucked up the ass like the slut that you are!” They got even crazier!

As an extreme example of making a woman be a total slut, I brought one girlfriend to an on-premise swinger’s club where sexual intercourse among couples happens in a large room as others watch.

I had her select a single man that she found attractive, and then he and I double penetrated her while everybody watched while I said to her “You love to get fucked hard by two men! Show me how you love to get fucked! You love getting fucked hard like the slut that you are!” She was screaming in continuous simultaneous vaginal and anal orgasms.

Needless to say, she became even more wildly crazy about me.

Powerful stuff.

It just goes to show...

Now that does NOT mean that women want to be sluts. Certainly NOT! But in the correct context, with her trusted lover, women love to become ruthlessly expressive sexual creatures.

It appears that anything that is taboo is even more exciting, simply because it IS forbidden. It is that contrast, that dichotomy.

Simply because it smacks at the general definition of what it means to be a “proper” woman is what makes it exciting.

And, interestingly, the better the sex is, the more she has to have it!

You might think that when a woman is getting really good sex that she would be satisfied and not need it any more often. But that could not be further from the truth. In actuality, when a woman is wildly crazy about her man and the sex is fantastic, she gets even hornier. She can’t get it enough!

In many cases, women are far hornier than men. One woman I knew who was in her late 30’s told me, “I get so damn horny! I feel like a 16 year old boy. It’s not fair!” Another woman told me, “It gets worse at the time I ovulate. Every man I see with a cute butt I want to jump him right then and there and ride him hard!”

But women ONLY do these things when led by a man. They cannot do it themselves. They cannot initiate themselves. They can’t even suggest it because that would be contrary to being a woman. She needs a man to lead her.

But where is she going to find such a man? Men like this are extremely rare. That’s what makes the Masterful Lover such a precious find.

Now let’s get back to social conditioning.

Why did all that social conditioning want us to believe that women didn’t like sex that much? It appears that there are a number of reasons for this.

Social conditioning protects women from men who only want to use women for sex. If social conditioning trains people to believe that women must first be in love to have sex, or must first be in a committed relationship, then women always have a defense against men who view women as simply objects.

It keeps young women in check. If parents teach their children that sex is only for love and marriage, then maybe their children won’t go out and have sex and get pregnant.

Interestingly, the social conditioning does parallel the reality of being a woman to some degree. What I mean by that is the following. Most women are sexually submissive. They do not initiate sex. Instead, they respond to their man when he initiates. And most women prefer it that way. Women are excited by the fact that their man is excited by her. Women love to be desired and “taken” by their man. It makes her feel feminine and beautiful.

Unfortunately though, women are also victims to social conditioning. Social conditioning is interpreted to mean that any woman who loves sex must be a slut. This has caused great frustration for women.

Even though women love sex, they’d never admit it to a stranger. It would make them appear as a slut. And it would invite advances from men who objectify women.

The advantage of all this social conditioning is that since it is against social norms for a woman to love sex, it makes it even more exciting WHEN a woman demonstrates that she loves sex. Anything that is taboo is even MORE exciting because it IS taboo.

To further complicate things, most of us men have been raised to be proper polite gentlemen, and we have been taught that to suggest sex to a woman would insult her because it would insinuate that she is a slut.

That piece of social conditioning hinders men and puts men in a predicament. A man wants to be sexual with the woman he is interested in, but he can’t suggest it because it would insult her.

The woman certainly can’t suggest it because that would define her as a slut. And besides, women are sexually submissive, they prefer that the man initiate.

That’s where YOU come in. You are going to be that precious find. You are going to lead her. You are going to allow her to finally experience ALL those things she has always wanted to experience but was too inhibited to do or had never met a man who could lead her.

Here is the most important thing that men need to understand, yet it is one of the toughest things for men to accept...

In fact, women are far more sexual than most men can even comprehend.

This discussion is in the context of women who are for the most part emotionally healthy. First of all, you should only be concerned about emotionally healthy women, and secondly, emotionally unhealthy women are driven by unhealthy needs.

This discussion is also in the context of what women look for in the men that they might consider for a relationship. This does not apply to one-night stands, as women do not take such men as seriously.

So, what do emotionally healthy women look for in the men they take seriously?

When women are asked what they look for in men, they usually say something like “a sense of humor” or “a nice guy.” But that is not what they really respond to.

The fact is that most women are unable to articulate what it is they really look for.

Every woman grew up knowing exactly the way it would make her feel to have the ideal man. It is that feeling she must have when a handsome stranger sweeps her off her feet. A woman does not choose a man because of who he is; she chooses him because of how it makes her feel.

Certainly a woman who is 21 wants something completely different than a woman who is 31. And we already know that women want a man that she can trust and respect.

So what is it? The trail of clues begins when she was very small...

While she was growing up and learning what it means to be female, she developed elaborate sexual fantasies. Early fantasies often begin as crushes. Typically she concentrated her romantic hopes and dreams on a movie star who she will never actually meet. In this context, she can imagine being in love without the complications of reality. It gives her mental practice at being desired, valued, and appreciated.

She grew up in the social conditioning that it is feminine and proper to be sexually submissive, and that it is unacceptable to be sexually forward. By being sexually submissive, she can enjoy sexuality without assuming blame for it. She can be “slutty” without being a “slut.” Thus, she can be fully sexually expressive by simply following the lead of her man.

Therefore, in order for her to have a fulfilling sexual life, she is going to need a man who can lead her, such that she can experience those things that make her feel the way she has always wanted to feel. So she needs a man that she respects, because she will only follow the lead of a man that she takes seriously.

And in order for her to surrender to him, she needs to trust him.

Only then can she give in to total abandonment.

She may also have fantasized about taming a rebel by teaching him how to love. This is the typical story in any romance novel. He is strong and independent. She makes him fall in love with her, a love affair that transcends all others. At the same time, she nurtures her own self-esteem and independence by imagining a lover who believes in her. He admires her for her intelligence and courage.

So, she needs a man who can lead her and she needs a man who will respect her.

Thus, the life of an adult woman is one of dichotomies. In her everyday life, she wants to feel like a lady, respected, and admired. But in the bedroom, she wants to be sexual; she wants to be fucked like the slut that she loves to be. That sounds like a contradiction. But she doesn't see it as that. It's what defines her as a woman.

The question really should be:

Reality is there for all of us to observe...

When you observe relationships, you find that some relationships are more fulfilling and successful than others. For the successful relationships, both people are getting all the things they need. In the relationships that are not fulfilling, one or more of either of the two people's needs are not being met. This gives us a clue as to what women need.

She Knows When Something Crucial Is Missing...

When you observe women who went outside of their marriage, you find that they are obtaining that which they were missing in their marriage. For example, if the sex is boring, she will get an exciting lover. If the sex in the marriage is acceptable, but she feels that she is not being treated with respect, she will find a man who will treat her with respect. If she does not have emotional intimacy in her marriage, she will go out and have an emotional affair. When women go outside of their marriage, they are looking to have one or more of their needs met. For some women, if it takes two different men in order to get all her needs met, she'll do it.

Examples Of Various Men In A Woman's Life...

The answer can be found by observing the various men that a woman has been with in her life. The various men met some of the needs, but not all of them.

The Bad Boy

For example, take the all-famous classic bad boy. The bad boy gives her exciting sex. And because he is very masculine, he makes her feel sexy. But he is a self-absorbed jerk who cheats on her. She does not feel appreciated, and she probably is unable to feel any emotional connection. She often becomes addicted to him because the sex is so good and she feels so very sexual. She will try in vain to

tame him, but it is fruitless. In an emotional breakup, she finally leaves him for good. At least the high self-esteem woman finally leaves him for good.

The Nice Guy

Then there's the classic nice guy wimp. He makes her feel appreciated, and he is able to establish an emotional connection with her. Unfortunately though, he's boring, or he's not masculine, so she doesn't feel sexy and doesn't feel turned on about sex. She'd love to marry him, because he'd be perfect for a family, but for some reason she keeps delaying the engagement. It's because he doesn't make her feel like a sexual creature.

The Emotionally Unavailable Guy

The closest she might get to the ideal relationship is the emotionally unavailable guy. He's not a wimp, and he's not a jerk. He may be masculine and give her good sex. He may be a gentleman and make her feel very appreciated. But there's one important thing missing; he's not emotionally available. She never feels emotionally connected to him. This is probably the biggest complaint women have. She found the ideal guy in all respects, but damnit, he's not emotionally available. She tries over and over to get him to open up to her, but it never happens. Women are emotional creatures, and they need it, so she eventually leaves.

The Gay Friend

There are other men in her life. There's her gay friend. She loves hanging out with him because he makes her feel sexy and he really makes her feel appreciated. She has a lot in common with him, but damnit, he's gay, and thus not an option.

The Mysterious Lover

And then there's the occasional mysterious lover. For many reasons she'd never ever consider him seriously for anything, but damn, the

sex is good. Once every few months, when she is bored with how things are going for her, she'll call him up and go over for one thing, and one thing only; for the sex. And then she leaves hoping she will soon find the ideal man.

The Married Man

And finally, as one last example, there's the married man. Only low self-esteem women allow themselves to become a mistress, or in other words, a woman who wants what she can't have. He gives her exciting sex, he makes her feel sexy, and they share a deep emotional connection. But he won't leave his wife. So she doesn't feel special. And because she is low self-esteem, it is very difficult for her to leave. But let's get back to high self-esteem women.

So, those were examples of men in her life. As you can see, one or more of her needs are not being met in each example. And by looking at what is missing, you can conclude what she has to have.

Women may not know it, and most of them certainly cannot articulate it, but women need four things in order to be fulfilled.

First, she needs to feel appreciated for the unique individual that she is. She needs to feel special, unlike any other woman. And she needs to know that her man supports her in her endeavors.

Second, she needs to feel that deep intimate emotional connection. She needs to have that emotional intimacy with her man. It's a connection she shares only with him.

Third, she needs to feel like a woman. She needs to feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine. She needs to enjoy all those things that come with being a woman.

And finally, she needs hot passionate sex. She needs to be seduced, enticed, teased, and satisfied, over and over again. She needs to experience new things, in new ways, including fantasies and roles. It makes her feel desired, affirmed, and alive.