The Sessions (Covenant Series) (7 page)

Chapter Eight

Micah
leaned back in the chair on the balcony, putting a flip flopped foot on his knee. “What do you want to know first?”

“Whatever you want to tell me first.”

“Fine. My father was a minister. He raped me from the age of four
to fourteen. My mother watched, often held me down. Sometimes participated. But I did grow to like it because after all, I had a demon. They purged me that way for ten years. Stubborn demon. Turns out my little brother had a demon too. I got jealous. So I killed him in his sleep. Sliced his throat. Nice and easy. The end.”

Sarah swallowed. “Is that it?”

“It’s the skeleton of the nightmare, yes. There are plenty of dirty secrets in between, juicy sinews that make up a perfect monster. Do you want those too?”

“
Micah, this isn’t about me wanting dirty secrets, it’s about me helping you come to understand.”

“Understand
?” He snorted and looked away. “Understand, understand.” He looked back at her, all smirk. “That would be where you come in I guess, doc, where you explain away the evil, the sickness, mend all the wounds.”

“I think that’s enough for this session.”

“Is it my turn, then?”

“Fifteen minutes.” She looked at her watch. “Go.”

“Stand up.”

“Why.”

“Fifteen minutes of you doing as I say. Break your word, and we are done,
love
.”

The
love
word was the confirmation she sought. This was his way of saying, prove to me you trust me. Or as you say,
love
me.

Did she want to prove
that
to him? That she
loved
him?

Yes. She did.

She stood.

“Come stand next to me.”

She walked around the table and stopped six inches from him. “How close to me are you, Sarah?”

“
Very close.”

“Yes.
Very close. What color panties are you wearing.”

Oh God. She stared down into his upturned green gaze, her stomach fluttering.
She was very near to shutting him down. “White.”

“Silk?”

“Yes.”

“What color bra are you wearing?”

“White. Same material.”

“Matching?”

“Yes.”

“You’re biting your lip.”

“I’m nervous.”

He paused, seeming to
bask in it all. “Is there lace on the panties and bra?”

“A little. At the edges.
”

“
You look beautiful when you’re nervous.”

She swallowed, unsure of what to say to that.
She wanted to check her watch.

“Do you know that your nipples show through your blouse and bra?”

Her stomach clenched and she fought her body’s reaction to his tone and hot gaze. “I didn’t know.”

“Do you know that I jack off while fantasizing about you?”

She should slap his face. But she didn’t think that would be the most productive at this point. As long as he didn’t touch her. Touching was definitely the end of the line. “No.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“I’m…I’m not sure,” she lied.

“Do you like it?”

“No,” she lied again.

“Why don’t you like it?”

“Because…it seems wrong.” Yet another lie. They were all
should be
truths.

“Why? I think you’re beautiful. I think you’re sexy. Sensual. I like the way you talk to me. The things you say. How you
go out of your way to be kind to me. All of it makes me want you. Want to touch you. Taste you. Suck you.” He said that last word with ache and it sent her hammering pulse to pound between her legs. She clenched her eyes.

“You like that.”

It was not a question and she couldn’t open her mouth to speak. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For…having inappropriate feelings for you.” She just wished she
felt
sorry.

He stood and looked down into her gaze, close enough for a kiss.
Sarah braced, praying she’d do the right thing, whatever that might be. He leaned and put his lips to her ear. “I want you to wear a red bra and panties next week. Satin.” He slid his lips along her cheek and turned. “I’m done.”

Sarah stood immobile for five whole minutes,
body wracked with confusion and turmoil. What the hell just happened? The look in his eyes just then. Same as that first night at the hospital, when he’d gone berserk. His desperate beg for help. A silent plea. He had that look right at the last. Without words, he’d said yes. Yes, I want you to help me. But on my terms.

****

Micah stared at his bathroom mirror, not seeing. Seeing Sarah. Seeing her standing next to him, falling apart at her professional and personal seams. That was good.

He turned on the water and brushed his teeth,
then slapped on cologne and headed to her apartment for their next session. He had in mind what nightmare bits to divulge. He’d pick from the fluffy stuff, he had plenty for many years of sessions. He’d have her where he wanted long before that.

E
xcitement energized his muscles as he followed the now familiar path to her door. Seventy-nine steps.

He rang her bell, eager to see her. She opened the door, dressed in the same gray skirt and white blouse.
His heart skipped a beat at seeing she had a white bra under her white top. She’d disobeyed.

“Hi,” she smiled.

Too concerned over what her actions might mean, he went without a word to the back porch, sat, and waited.

She came out and shut the door. He stared at her
and saw she'd put make-up on.

“I’m going to allow you to begin each session with whatever you would like to
tell me,” she said. “No questions from me. I’ll stop you when I feel it’s enough. Is that okay with you?”

He nodded.

“Alright. I’m ready.”

He decided to keep the plan on track despite her deviations. He put on his superman and dove right in, eager to discover her stopping point. “When I was three, I remember things. Flashes of things. A church. A group of people. In the woods. I remember being tied up. I was scared and cold. There were big rocks all around.” Micah closed his eyes, focusing on something besides her sweet and beautiful sympathetic face. He hated sympathy when calling up the details. Sympathy was weakness, weakness led to shit he didn’t tolerate. “They cut on my body. On my stomach. I remember crying for my mother. She came to me and held my hand and smiled while they cut me. I remember thinking it must be good. She was smiling. She never smiled, not at me. I held her hand tight, trying not to hurt her with my nails. My mother was smiling at me, I was doing something good.

Then my father was there. He wasn’t smiling. I got confused. Maybe it wasn’t good. He untied my hands and
made me touch him. While they cut me, he put—“

“That’s enough.”

She gasped the words out and he opened his eyes. Her chest heaved and her face appeared haunted and pale.

“Is it my turn?”

She shook her head. “No.”

He
went rigid as he contemplated her angle. “Why?”

She look
ed down. “I can’t do this with you Micah. I’d like to refer you to a very good therapist that will be more than happy to take care of you.” She slid a card across the table.

“
I’d rather not.” His heart raced. She’d fallen. Fallen for him. It fucking worked.

“If you’re going to remain my patient, you’ll need to be compliant to my therapy.”

“Fine, I’ll be compliant.”

She fidgeted, clearly not expecting that. She lowered her head. “I can’t do it, please.”

“Why can’t you?”

She licked her lips, avoiding his gaze. “I…I like you too much.”

The words were barely audible but he heard them very loud and clearly. “Look at me.” It was a tall order for her because she took a good fifteen seconds to pull it off. “I didn’t hear you.”

Her mouth opened but nothing came out at first. Then finally the
beautiful words came on a breathless gasp. “I like you too much.”

H
is chest constricted with a million emotions at hearing the confession with her eyes locked on his. “Fine. I’ll go to another therapist. Under one condition.”

“What?”

“Same deal as before. Me being your therapist for fifteen minutes. Once a week.”

Her brows furrowed. “But…you’re not even a therapist
.”

“
Then there should be no ethical issues conflicting your pretty little mind.”

She gasped. “
Why are you doing this?”

“It’s been a life
-long dream of mine to play doctor to a beautiful woman.” He gave her a small smile.

“
I…I need to think about it.”

He
shook his head. “This isn’t rocket science, either you will or you won’t.”

****

Sarah stood and went to the balcony ledge and looked out into the night, clenching her eyes shut. Fifteen minutes doing as he says once a week. As a free woman. She knew what that would lead to. Releasing him as her patient was the hardest thing she’d had to do and here he offered her a way to still help him without violating her ethics. She was sure it would get sexual. God, was she ready for that?

She
turned and faced him. “Yes. I’ll do it.”

He took the card from the table, slid it in his back pocket, and stood.
He approached like a lethal shadow until she had to peer up at him. He leaned and placed a kiss on the edge of her mouth, his breath trembling out. He turned and left. “See you next Saturday at seven. Don’t forget the red satin bra and panties.”

She watched him walk away, ready to collapse in relief but too excited to move. She wanted to cry and laugh and scream.
But instead she prayed. Prayed for the strength and courage to do what it took to really help him. She was venturing into his hell on her own, alone. No ethics to guide her, only her heart.

Shit.

Chapter Nine

Micah followed Sarah to the balcony and they both sat. She waited for him to begin and he could see how nervous she was over what all he might do. He stared at her for several minutes, his heart hammering at recalling how upset she’d gotten for him when he’d told her his horror bits. And to think she was his to do with as he pleased. He had fifteen minutes. Well, probably thirteen now. But he knew he had power over the time. Once he touched her, she’d forget her own name. She was so…virginic in every way.

She finally licked her lips. “What?”

“Nothing. I like looking at you. You’re very beautiful. I want to see your bedroom, where you sleep.”

Micah
saw a resolve in her eyes as she stood. “Follow me.”

He did, his
cock straining in his jeans. She flipped on the light and he gazed around her room, a replica of something he’d once seen in one of those magazines. Country Cottage maybe, soft colors and material everywhere. “Sit on the bed.”

She hesitated briefly and did as he said
. Then looked at him.

“
Do you have on the panty and bra I requested?” 

“Yes.”

“Show me.”

He locked gazes with her, aware that his voice nearly broke with desire. He didn’t care. He just wanted to see her.
And other things.

She stood
and attempted to steal an unnoticed glance at her watch, almost a slight of hand motion to hide her extreme anxiety. Like he could ever miss it. His heart thundered in his chest with anticipation. She slowly unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unzipped her skirt next and let it fall to the floor, putting her arms over her midsection. Nervous. About what she was doing? Or about what he thought of her. Both? “Turn. Slowly for me.”

The second she turned, he made his way to her.
He stood on her right as she made it full circle. She gasped in surprise and he gazed at her red satin breasts. “You’re nipples are hard.”

She didn’t
respond with words, but her perfect small, firm tits heaved in fear and excitement.

He slid his finger along her cheek and put her hair behind her ear then leaned in.
He brushed his lips along her jaw and barely whispered, “Are you wet for me?” He listened to her erratic breaths and gazed at the rise and fall of her chest, studied her closed eyes, forehead full of torment. “Tell me, Sarah.”

“Yes.”

The weak confession made him shudder with the need to slam himself inside her. “Look at me.”

She hesitated and
then slowly looked up at him. His chest ached at how beautiful she was in her innocence. He couldn’t wait to make her his. He stroked his thumb over the hard tip of her nipple and she gasped, fighting to hold his gaze, wanting to lose herself in the feeling. But he wouldn’t let her close her eyes and hide from him. Ever. “Do you like this?”

Her brows furrowed
more with sweet agony and her breaths strained with little whimpers. “Yes.”

He leaned in and whispered his lips over hers. “
Next week, leave your panty and bra off.” He placed one small kiss at the edge of her mouth, fighting not to devour her. “I’m done.”

He left her without a glance.

****

Sarah lay in her bed
feeling lost. Utterly lost. And yet the peace in her body was absurd. She fought to be ashamed but the feelings refused to come. How badly she wanted him to touch her. At first she worried, like what if it was just hormones doing all this? But it was much more than that, it was him. Him
needing.
He didn’t say it with words, but he’d shown her with actions. He was still giving her a chance to demonstrate how he could be whole. He also trusted her enough to even open up, reveal his deep pain and hunger. After hearing the horrors he’d divulged to her, it was done. She couldn’t deny him. Sick as it seemed, dumb as it sounded, this is what she had to do for him. Was meant to do. Even though she technically wasn’t his therapist, she couldn’t help but be who she was. A therapist.

Seven days later, her door-
bell rang and she hurried to open it. As before, he walked in, went to the back porch and sat in his spot. Sarah locked the door and went sit down. Part of her was grateful to not have to hear the horrors he so easily and brutally clawed upon her brain and heart. There would come a day for such confessions, but now, the man was in dire need of love and she was in dire need to be the one to give it.

He stared at her, his jaw working,
those mysterious green eyes sparkling in the dark. They lowered to her chest for several seconds, and she hoped he saw she was braless. She hoped her arousal showed and he knew how she felt. “Go to your room.”

Desire hit and made everything throb and tingle between her legs. S
he hesitated a second before hurrying to do as he said. She sat on the bed, gripping the covers, waiting. He came in and shut the door. “Come here.”

She
did, ready to do what he wanted.

“Closer.”

She moved until she was exactly before him.

“Closer.”

Her pulse raced loudly in her ear as she pressed her body into his.

He kept his hands at his sides.
“Hold on to my waist. And rub your hard nipples on me.”

She
gasped and put her trembling hands on his waist, then began sliding her breasts against his lower chest. He was warm and smelled delicious. A hard heat licked between her legs, making her stifle a moan.

“Does it feel good Sarah?”

“Yes,” she gasped.

She felt him undoing his pants. “Put your hand on my cock.”

She clenched her eyes shut and he took her hand and guided it. He gasped as she touched the silky firm skin of the top, wet with his own desire. She let her fingers dip along the rim, curious and excited to finally feel him. Hunger for more emboldened her touch and she swirled her fingers all over it.

He let out a deep groan then
whispered, “Get on your knees.”

At hearing the
need in his voice, she quickly did as he said. He opened his pants completely, stroking himself right before her eyes.

“Look at me.” She
looked up. “Undo your blouse.”

Her fingers t
rembled violently as she fought to open the buttons, her breaths shallow as she held his gaze. It was there again. That devastating need in the green depths. Did he know how plain in sight it was? She licked her lips once she got the blouse open.

“Rub your nipples for me.
” He lowered himself down until they were nearly eye level, his gaze riveted on her breasts. She slowly passed her fingers over the painfully swollen tips, moaning lightly.

“Don’t close your eyes. Look at me.”
She met his gaze and he stared at her. “Does it feel good Sarah?”

“Yes.”

“You like me watching you?”

“Yes, yes,” she gasped,
the heat between her folds unbearable.

“S
tand up.”

She made her way up
, her movements awkward.

“
Take off your skirt.”

Again, her trembling fingers fumbled with the zipper
. Fear seized her briefly before she released the material and let it fall to her feet. Breathless with excitement and worry over what he’d think of her, she stared into his gaze, watching it turn slowly down to what she’d just revealed.

His brows came together
with a gasp. “You shaved it.”

She couldn’t identify the emotion in his tone.
“I thought…” she whispered, feeling stupid now.

His gaze slowly made its way up her body, lingering hungrily on her breasts
before locking on hers. “Come closer and put your left leg on my shoulder.”

A
whimper escaped as she stepped toward him. He took her hand to aid her balance and she slowly lifted her leg onto his warm shoulder.

He stared
right at her virgin secret, his brows drawn again, his lips parted. He looked up at her. “Do you want me to kiss you right there?”

Oh God. “Yes.”

“Lick it?”

Her breaths became more erratic and louder.
“Yes.”

He
slowly leaned in and kissed her open folds with an extreme gentleness that made Sarah cry out. “Hold on sweetheart,” he whispered.

She
gave a sharp moan as he licked very slowly up her privates. She grabbed hold of his head and he groaned and licked her clitoris with tiny flicks. Her entire body shuddered as shocked gasps and high pitched moans burst from her.

His hand
s slid up her body, one on her stomach, the other along her spine. The one on her back raked with an intense hunger, nails scratching, while the other caressed her mounds with a near reverent touch. He slid his fingers back and forth over the erect tips and the heat where his mouth pressed on her, spiked. “Micah!”

“Sarah,” he
rasped right on her.

He
carefully opened her more with his own lips and gently sucked the hard bud. The sheer shock of him doing such a thing, the perfect pressure on that throbbing ache was more than she could take and she lost it. She came right on his mouth with mind blowing intensity.

“Fuck, yes,” he gasped, licking her
, his mouth and voice hungry. She cried out loudly through the orgasm, her body shuddering until she couldn’t stand. Micah caught her as she crumpled to her knees, sliding her down his hard body, fevered kisses tingling along her breasts, then face as he laid her on the floor.

Both winded, h
e unlatched her arms from around his neck and held them down next to her. He stared deep into her eyes for several timeless seconds, making that signature connection with her soul, telling her...
this…this right here. Save me.

He slowly leaned and
kissed her forehead, a soft, nearly worshipful touch, then drew away.

She watched as he stood, his back to her, closed his pants
and walked off.

At the door, he paused
with winded breath. “Next time you’re going to suck my cock. I’m going to come right on your face. Do you want that?”

Sarah’s entire being ached
from his words. An untouched place deep inside her sprung open and her answer came as a desperate plea. “Yes, yes.”

H
e stood still for several seconds and then walked out, his movements rough and hurried.

****

Excitement unlike any he’d ever experienced licked at his nerves during the weeks since their sessions turned in his favor. It was a perfect work of discipline to not talk to Sarah until he saw her seven days later. Too perfect in fact. He held sessions with her every Saturday at seven in the evening. But Monday, he called her.

“H
ello?”

He w
ent silent at hearing her sweet voice. “Sarah.”

“
Micah?” The concern in her tone got him so fucking hard. Harder than it should have. “Are you okay?”

He was tempted to sit there and say nothing, just to hear it. Such a beautiful melody. The song of innocence
, untouched by the lies of goodness. All for him. “How much vacation time do you have saved up?” She was a workaholic and he wagered she had a year’s worth.

“I have plenty, why? What do you need?”

That eagerness to give him whatever he asked came through the line perfectly. “I need you. To take off.”

“
Okay,” she said softly. “How long?”

“Can you take three months?”

“Yes.”

He gripped his cock and clenched his eyes at her quick answer. “How soon can you do it?”

“As soon as I hang up.”

“
You’d do that for me.”

“Yes.”
Absolution thickened the gasped word.

“Do it,” he whispered. “Then go to the pool
at two-oclock. And sunbathe. I’ll be there, but don’t speak to me. I need to watch you.”

“
Is everyth—”

He hung up.
The less she knew, the better it was for him. Intoxicating. She called it trust. He called it a test. So far, his angel passed with flying colors.