The Song Remains the Same (26 page)

“So, when you said that you weren’t sleepin’ with me…” Phil said quietly.

“I meant, I’m not having sex with you, and I’m not sleeping in the same bed as you because we’ll end up having sex.”

“What? You think I can’t control myself?”

“I know you can’t. And…” Heaving a sigh, I admitted, “Neither can I.”

“But I can touch you again? And hold you? And kiss you whenever I want?”

“Within reason, I suppose.”

“Pfft. Within reason, my ass.”

Phil

Asleep, Kenna was spread out over me. With my arms wrapped tightly around her, I was in a state of bliss. We had lain on one of the couches hours ago, just talking and getting it all out in the open.

She had told me all about the shit she’d been dealing with these past couple of days, and I fuckin’ burned with anger and regret. My Baby Girl didn’t deserve the crap being shoveled on her. Kenna never put anyone down, never made anyone feel less than what they were. For her to have to go through that kind of mindfuck with my ex was fuckin’ all sorts of wrong.

Connor had confronted me before the show, and he’d been just as pissed as I was when he told me about what Brigid had been doing.

“You fuckin’ started this shit! Now, Kenna can’t fuckin’ go anywhere without that cunt showing up and making her life hell! You fuckin’ fix this shit, or I will,” he’d said to me.

Not too sure what he’d meant by him fixing it, but I was pretty sure I didn’t want to find out. Hippie kids were weirdos. They understood shit normal people just didn’t. He’d probably unleash some sort of ancient evil yoga voodoo on Brigid. So, I had taken matters into my own hands and asked the guys if we could pull a cover song because my woman spoke in terms of music.

She’d totally gotten me. She’d finally fuckin’ come clean, and more than that, I had earned her trust back. She’d forgiven me.

Again
.
When will I quit fuckin’ up?

Probably never.

On top of all this, I was supposed to be findin’ a way to sit down with fuckin’ GianFranco. It really wasn’t something I felt like I
could
do. For so long, that motherfucker had fucked with my head, and for Kenna to put her promise to me on hold until I did…I wished I could feel like she’d betrayed me, but I knew that wasn’t the case.

Looking into Kenna’s eyes tonight, when she had told me she was wrong, that she was sorry, it was like she had shone with this light that was all for me. It was love and truth and joy, and it’d found
me
worthy of it. My heart had tripped into my head, and she’d filled my eyes and soul. I’d thought I had loved her before, but now…

I had meant it when I told her that it was far, far beyond having sex with her. What I felt was far beyond anything that could be shared between us physically.

Not so much
now
though. She was soft and smelling fuckin’ clean and sweet and feeling so fuckin’ right.

My dick was pressing painfully into her belly, and it was all I could do not to dry-hump the fuck outta her.

Lili had come up and draped a blanket over us, smiling, being the sweet Pygmy I knew and loved. She’d been a fuckin’ nasty little runt to deal with, kicking me in the shins and shit. I had to remember the woman aimed low and had pointy fuckin’ feet.

Shifting to ease up the pressure on my dick didn’t help. Kenna snuggled in closer, and I could feel her perfect little tits rubbing against my chest. I hadn’t fuckin’ blown a load since the night in Georgia. My nads were threatening violence if I didn’t do something
right now
. My head didn’t want to until I could be inside her…

Tossing off the blanket, I held Kenna to my chest and carried her to her bunk. I really wished I wasn’t wearing sweats. Alys came down from The Attic. Seeing me trying to open up the foxhole, she came to help…and totally got an eyeful.

“Damn, Phil!” she whispered, her puffy lips twitching.

“Shut it, woman,” I growled.

Kenna stirred, but she didn’t really wake up. Her eyes barely able to open, she let me tuck her into the bunk. Then, I tucked up my junk and pulled myself into my own foxhole. I couldn’t stretch out straight, but at least I couldn’t roll over and roll out. Lying on my gut, I turned my head toward her, trying to see her face in the low light.

I’d never really been sex-crazed before Kenna. Yeah, I’d turned into a slut over the years, but it was more because I’d had nothing better to do. The weird shit I’d gotten into with GianFranco was more of a phase, just something that had suited me at the time. When I’d left that part of my life behind, I never really needed to go back to it. I’d never touched Brigid that way. It had been straight-up sex. She’d liked it rough, and I had done my job by her as best as I could.

Shit, just thinking of sex with Brigid made my dick shrivel up. My groin relaxed.

Kenna had woken up a fuckin’ beast in me, and that fucker would do whatever the hell she wanted, whenever she wanted it. She might think I controlled what happened between us, but the truth was…it was all about her. Something inside her would tell something inside me what she needed, and that was what would happen.

The times she’d tied me up and whipped me…I fuckin’ loved that shit. After the last time, I’d had bruises on my ass that lasted for days, and sitting had been no easy task, but fuck me, there was something awesome about the pain she’d delivered. When I could feel it long after we were done, it was like having a little piece of her on me.

Maybe I was totally fucked in the head, but I really couldn’t give a shit. Sheri and Jason were into some bizarre fuckin’ shit, so I didn’t feel too much like a weirdo.

My woman sighed in her sleep, and I looked over at her again, my dick swelling up once more.

She was fuckin’ blackmailing my ass, denying me her sweet slice until I spoke to GianFranco. She knew I’d break down eventually. The only thing that kept me going was that I knew she wasn’t having an easy time of it either. But she’d outlast me. I knew that.

And I knew that she’d never ask me to talk to Devon unless she felt it was really, really important.

Okay, I’m fuckin’ miserable.

Miami shows really were some of the best. Even if it was too fuckin’ hot and nasty to want to live, the crowd and the vibe were one in a million.

By the time we’d finished our set, we were soaked and sore. After the first fuckin’ song, I had stripped off my shirt, boots, and socks, and I’d come close to marching my ass around in my skivvies, but I hadn’t been too sure that would be a smart idea.

Brigid was lurking around backstage.

My Baby Girl had vanished at that point, and that fuckin’ pissed me off. My ex was running her out of her rightful place, and I was gonna give that bitch a piece of my fuckin’ mind.

Kenna belonged here with me.

Enough was enough.

Sheri had sat my ass down earlier in the day and explained that Brigid felt I owed her two fuckin’ inches of debt. Those weren’t my inches to give, not that it would’ve mattered if they were. Brigid didn’t get that. Sheri had also informed me of how Brigid used to talk shit about me behind my back while she and I were together. That hadn’t bothered me, but I could see that it bothered the fuck out of Sher-Bear.

Brigid was gone by the time we walked off the stage, and I was hurting to see my Baby Girl. I found her in the tour bus, hanging with Mack. They were smoking a spliff, and she was laughing at something the old man had said. When she saw me, her eyes sparkled and lit up like Christmas.

“Hey, Baby Girl. I missed you after the set,” I said, sitting down beside her.

Her smile and sparkle dimmed. “Yeah, I was—”

“Don’t even. I saw her, too. Did she say anything to you?”

By the pink creeping in her cheeks, I could take that as a yes. She didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe it was ’cause Mack was sitting there.

“You can tell me when we get to the hotel, yeah?”

She blushed even more and wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“What?”

“I’m bunking with Connor,” she said quietly, as if the volume of her voice would somehow soften the blow I felt in my heart.

Just then, Connor and about seven of his Miami crew tripped onto the bus, and I knew that there was no way in hell she wanted to share Connor’s fuckin’ room with that riffraff. But the suite I would have had one big fuckin’ king-sized bed, and his room had two doubles, so it wasn’t hard to figure that shit out.

While checking in, I gave Connor my room, and to Kenna’s horror, I announced we’d be taking his.

“Phil, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she hissed at me.

Fuck, she was cute when she was miffed with her green eyes flashing fire.

“Hush, Baby Girl. There are two fuckin’ beds.”

Her lips went flat, but she followed me to our room anyway. First thing she did was grab her bag and head into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. I fuckin’
hated
that. I glared at the door as if it were my enemy.

Then, I heard the shower going. My poor head started thinking of her, all naked and wet, and my dick surged.

Fuck my life.

Kenna was driving me insane. My dick was driving me insane. Blowing a load just might take the fuckin’ edge off. Spotting a box of tissues, I yanked off my shirt, grabbed the box, flopped down on the bed, and pulled out a seriously painful hard-on.

I didn’t hear when the shower got turned off. I was dick deep in a memory of Kenna on her hands and knees, making those fuckin’ awesome noises while I watched my dick disappear up inside her. I didn’t hear the bathroom door unlock and then open either.

“Phil!” she yelped.

“What?” I snarled. “It ain’t like you’re helpin’ me out here!”

She was quiet for a moment, just watching I guessed. I wouldn’t know because my eyes were closed, and in my head, my face was shoved in her slice.

“What are you thinking about?” She sounded almost shy.

Why is she so goddamn cute?

“You,” I replied. “And all the nasty shit I’m gonna inflict on you when you finally get over this shit.”

“Yeah…” She sighed. “That’s what I thought about, too.”

She had fuckin’ diddled herself in the shower!

That was the hottest fuckin’ thing I could think of, and I fuckin’ insta-spunked.

“Oh,
fuuuck
…” I groaned.

I heard her sigh again, like the fuckin’ sight of me getting myself off was a glorious thing. As I tried to catch my breath, my whole body shuddered, and the release left me limp. I opened an eye just a crack and looked at her. She was dressed in her
Zoso
shirt and baggy jeans, leaning in the doorway. Her cheeks were so rosy, and her eyes were bright, as though she were sick with a fever.

“You’re killin’ me, Kenna. There ain’t no reason for this shit.”

“I can’t say I don’t regret my decision, babe. But I am committed to it, so…can’t back out now.”

“The fuck you can’t.”

“The fuck I will. What kind of person would that make me, if I just gave up on my convictions?”

She was right, the little shit.

“So, you touched yourself in the shower?”

“Yes.”

“Was it good?”

“You do it better.”

I groaned and closed my eyes again.

“Need a towel?”

Reaching over, I lifted the box of tissues for her viewing pleasure.

“Yeah, not too sure those will cut it, babe.”

I glanced down, and holy fuck, there was no fuckin’ way a pair of testicles could have produced that much spunk. That shit covered my stomach. Shit, there was even some on Her Tattoo. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ…”

A towel landed on my face. Grabbing it, I mopped up the mess I had made.

“Guess it’s been a while for you?”

“Georgia,” I grunted.

“Whoa. You lasted way longer than I did.”

I shot her a surprised look, and she shrugged.

“What can I say? You turn me on when I’m mad at you.”

“When was the first time you touched yourself after Georgia?”

She blushed. “Pretty much every day since Georgia—no, wait. Not the first night.”

“Every day?”