The Spaces Between (A Drunkard's Journey) (6 page)

“Sacuan help us,” Fa said.

“Sacuan help us all,” Ugly Nose said at the same time.

It was quiet again. A cricket started singing in the kitchen wall.
One-two, one-two, one-two, four-eight, four-eight, eight-sixteen, one-two
, I counted.

Fa kept talking with Ugly Nose and the strange man. I went to the barn. We had nice horses. My sutan was there too. I sat on a big box of straw and played.

Soon he would come. He always came. In between the spaces. Spaces between the notes in the music. Fa and Ma called them notes, but a note is written on paper. I cannot write on paper. I play music and Fa calls it notes. He—not Fa—comes to me between the notes.

I picked up the sutan. It had ten strings and I liked how it sounded. I have a five string one. It does not sound as good. Ten strings are harder, but I play a lot. Fa says that practice is good. When I play he calls it practice. He wants me to play in inns. Or Temples. I don’t want to. I like to play ten strings. Ten strings are better. They make more notes if you play a lot of strings at once.

You must help my son
, the man said. He came to me between the notes in the song. I just started a new song. It was light and slow.

You must help my son
, he said again. I heard him the first time. Why was he asking for help? He never did. He always told me tales. The man told me he missed his son.

“Can you talk to him?” I played a note that sounded funny. Then I tuned the sutan. Much better.

I can’t reach him. I’m sure he talks to me—he may even think I talk to him, but I cannot get through to him. Where some of us are gifted in some things, others are not. Your gift is special. People make fun of you, but you have a gift in speaking with those who are gone.

“I learned a new chord!”

I, did you…? Ah! That is nice, Bimb, very nice, I want to hear it.

“You take the little finger, here on this box. Middle finger goes up over on this box and string, then pointed finger way over…” It was hard. “Here! Like this!” I played it then moved to another chord, then back.

That is—

“He is an amazing player, isn’t he?” Fa asked.

“Ach!” They scared me! I almost dropped the sutan. I hoped it would not go out of tune.

“Sorry, son, to scare you. We heard you playing and we wanted to hear. Play that again, that is very nice.”

I started playing. Ugly Nose was there with the stranger. The stranger looked like a bunny. He hopped but said nothing. I looked down and played. I did not want to see Ugly Nose. If I looked away, would he see me?

I stopped after a while. “Have you ever played in the temples?” Ugly Nose asked.

“N-No. People laugh at me.”

“They would not in the temple. Your music is sweet and it is very holy. It fits well with temple music. I would consider it.”

I tuned the sutan.

“What do you say, Bimb?”

“T-thank you, sir.”

“I’m sure he’ll think about it. Maybe I can convince him…”

“Very nice, Bimb. Come, we have much to discuss.”

They talked more. I heard “leave here soon” from Ugly Nose. That made me happy. I played another happy chord. I was glad Ugly Nose was going away.

Please, you must help him.

“How can I help?” Oh! This chord sounds nice! It was
eight, four, six…eight…four
…then
seven
. Yes, very—

Please. He is in danger and could get hurt. I think these strangers are going to go someplace far away. I want you to follow
.

“But Fa…”

He is going to go with them.

“Why?” Why would Fa leave me? Did he not love me anymore? Only Ma and I would be there. She would cry. No more spicy drink. No more fun running in the fields.

This will be something he must do. Do not worry, I want you to follow him. He is going to be close to where my son is. You must follow—as such you will not be away from him. But I’m sorry he cannot know you are there. You and he both will return home soon. This one thing must be done for all of us. ALL of us.

“Ma too?”

The whole world.

I played my new chord. He talked like Ugly Nose. Like preachers in the temples. They talked about the world. They said if we didn’t do what they said, the world would go away. I didn’t want the world to go away. I wanted to play my sutan and sit with Fa.

Fa was leaving. “Why does he have to leave?”

Something needs to be fixed. Far away from here. My son is also going far away from here and he needs more help than your Fa. Your Fa is going to help these men do great things.

“I am scared of Ugly Nose. What if Ugly Nose hurts Fa?”

He will not hurt your father, I am sure of that. If you follow quietly, you will be able to be close to Fa, but you will be helping me. And my son.

I did not want to go. I did not want Fa to go. Ma would be here and cry. She cries so much I don’t like it. So I play my Sutan and talk to Lyn…that is the name of the man. His son is named Zhy. He is dead, and sometimes he says his son is dead too. But he doesn’t mean dead for real. He can’t talk to his son. I would be sad if I could not talk to Fa. And now Lyn is saying I can’t talk to Fa, just hear him. I did not want to go. “I don’t want to go.”

Please…please. You have your Fa, my Zhy has nothing. Only two companions who are trying to kill him. Please…

“Listen to my new chord!” I played it louder.

PLEA—

He was quiet a long time.

That is very beautiful, I—

“I will go.” I wanted to be by Fa. At the end maybe he could see me. I did not want to leave. But I did not want to be alone with Ma. She cried too much. I could follow Fa.

I—thank you. Thank you. For now you must get out to the field where the stone slab is. That is where they are going. Observe, but do not be seen! See if you can find a way into the Tunnels.

“Tunnels?”

Yes, that man who visited you. He did come through the stone. It leads to the Tunnels of Woe that lead far under the ground. To faraway places. They are safe. See, your father and you will be safe—but somehow you must get in. But you can’t go with them and they will shut the gate behind them. Find a way. There must be.

“Find a way.”

And Bimb?

“Yes?”
Eight-ten-twelve-fifteen
. That was a high note to play. I had another sutan cut to play high notes. High notes were fun.

I will have to try to visit you when you don’t play.

“I don’t understand.” Seventeen…very hard to play. I stretched and made the note. I could not get back to the chord. Start over.

Right now you can talk to me when you play, but soon you will not be able to play for a while, at least not all the time, in order for you to help me.

“I can’t play?”

Later. Later. You will play, but later. Can you let me in without playing?

“I can try.”

It had better work.

I played a high chord. Then I moved to the low one. It worked.

He left.

I did not want Fa to leave. I did not want Lyn to visit. I had to have Lyn visit. He said I had to. If I wanted to see Fa. I could not talk to Fa. I would miss Fa. I loved Fa. I loved the sutan. Would he come without the notes? He did not come without the notes.

I was scared. I wanted the spicy drink.

I played more chords.

* * *

After a long time, Fa came back. My song was almost done. The last chords did not sound right. I changed them. I had to tune it a little. It was hard to keep ten strings sounding nice.

“Son?” Fa sounded sad.

I played.
Three-eight-five, four-nine-six
.

“Son?”

“What Fa?” I did not look at him. I knew he was leaving. I was sad. He cannot know that you know!

“Son, please put that down for a moment.”

I looked up. He looked sad. “Why are you sad, Fa?”

“I’m—I have to go away for a little while. With these men. Something is broken and needs to be fixed.”

“Broken like the wagon?”

“What wagon?” Something was wet in his eyes.

“The wagon you picked up.”

He smiled at me. “Yes, son, like that. Only this is a much bigger wagon I need to pick up. These men cannot do it alone. I need to help them. I hope I won’t be gone too long.”

“Is it far away?”

“Yes, very far. But they tell me the trip goes faster…with them.”

“How far?”

“Many miles.”

“How many? Fifty? One hundred? Three hundred and twenty-six and a fifth?”

Fa laughed. I liked his laugh. He laughed when I said big numbers. He was not making fun. Fa loved me and thought I was smart to know big numbers. I smiled. “More than that.”

More than that? I was sad.

“Will you ever come home?” My eyes were wet.

Fa’s eyes were wet, too, more wet now. “Yes, son I will. You need to be strong and take care of Ma. See she gets her powders and her rest. You can be a strong man, right? I have wood stacked for the winter, but I hope to be home before it is over.”

Winter would be cold without Fa. “Why do you have to go?”

“Son, sometimes we have to do things that are bigger than ourselves. We have to help others when they are in trouble. Living here, I have always known I might have to help people like this. Now it is time.”

“Even Ugly Nose?”

“Ugly…Nose?”

“The old man. Ugly Nose.”

Fa laughed softly. “Yes, even him. He is a nice man, Bimb, there is no need to be afraid of him.”

“I don’t like him.”

“That is all right, son, that is all right. He won’t hurt us or anyone.” He looked at me a long time. I looked at my sutan. I was sad. “Be strong, son, I will miss you.”

“Me too.”

He hugged me real tight. Fa was very strong. My eyes were very wet.

“I love you, Bimb.”

“Love you, Fa.”

He walked away. Then he stopped. “And I want to hear the new song you wrote, promise?”

“Promise.” I was sad. Fa was leaving.

Don’t worry, you will be following him for a long time.

“But he won’t see me.”

No, no he won’t, but he will be there. Now…they are heading to the field. Follow. Step very carefully and do not let them see you!

* * *

I put my sutan in the hay. I went to the fields. The men were all talking. Ugly Nose was talking. The stranger was trying to talk. But Fa and Ugly Nose did not let him. They stood by the stone. I went on the ground and was very sneaky.

They did not see me. I was quiet. The old, rotten pumpkin smelled bad. Inside the house it would be warm and I could have more of the spicy drink. Ugly Nose waved his arms in the air. I hoped he did not see me here. Would he hurt me?

“Stop with the damned casting!” one of the men shouted. Was that Fa? “It’s a code, a secret code!” I saw Fa look around and I covered my eyes. Then Fa started counting numbers, but not 1, 2, 3. Very big numbers! I listened to each one. I sang along, but very quietly so no one would hear. The numbers were a song. Notes in the music

“They are pretty numbers.”

I heard the voice again.

You must find my son. Remember the numbers!

I put the numbers in a song. I even used the new chord.

Fa and the others were gone. They had gone through the stone. The stone was still there, but I heard it open. It made a sound like the wagons do on the road. Fa was gone.

Fa was gone! My eyes were wet.

Now go inside and pack. Is your mother sleeping?

“Yes.”

Make her the spicy drink and add the sleeping herb. Not too much. And pack. I will tell you what you need to bring.

* * *

Do you remember the numbers?

I told him the numbers. I said the numbers.

Louder
.

I yelled the numbers. And the stone moved. Where the stone was, there was a black thing. What was it?

It’s an opening. Like a cave.

“Cave?” I said quiet.

A hole in the ground, like a foxhole. Only there is a big tunnel on the other side. Your Fa is in there and he is safe. You will be safe.

I did not want to go in. I was scared. A fox bit me once. I was by the hole. It was the part of land Fa said not to go to. I was there. I counted grass with flowers on it. There were one hundred and seventy-seven. There was a hole. I put a hand in. The fox bit me. Fa had to get me powders, but not Ma’s powders. She was sleeping.

“I do not want to go in!”

Now, Bimb, go into the dark—wait, do not be afraid. It is an illusion. There are lights in there. They are very beautiful lights
.

My pack was very heavy. I was scared. “I want to go home. I want to play my sutan.” I wanted to play the new chord. I thought of another one. It would sound good.

No…Be brave, Bimb. Enter the tunnels. It will be light in there. I promise. Then you will hear your Fa and all will be well.

I walked slowly into the dark. Lyn talked very quiet. He talked like I talked to our dog. Our dog died many years ago. He ate some of Ma’s powders and then died. Ma was just sleeping. Just sleeping.

There was light! Blue light! I could hear Fa! He was right there. But Ugly Nose was talking, too, and the stranger talked.
They are far away, but you can hear them in here a long way. Wait here for a while and make sure the stone—ah, there it is.

The door had shut! How did it shut? I did not hear it. No one pushed on it. “How?”

Amazing. I—I don’t know, Bimb. Everything echoes in here but the stone made no sound. Now, just wait here. I’ll tell you a tale about how these Tunnels were built and what they do. After a few minutes you can go on and listen to your Fa.

The door closed on its own. It was very quiet. But now I was in the dark. Could I use the numbers again to open the door?

Be brave and keep going; you will be safe.