The Story of Lansing Lotte (37 page)

Galehaut and I hadn’t really discussed what he walked in on weeks ago. He had entered my apartment unannounced, to find me in a daze at those photos and he witnessed me kicking Lila out. At some point, he walked Lila out, but I knew that only because he told me. I refused to talk to him further about her. As the weeks passed, I was becoming a bit concerned. I didn’t know where Lila could go until her place was restored. Then, I didn’t know how I would handle having her back in the building, but my curiosity was getting the best of me.

Galehaut has just killed me in the new video game he was testing out for his family’s computer company. My head wasn’t into it. I hit the button to restart the game and faked my interest as I asked the question that I couldn’t avoid any longer.

“So, I’m a…curious. When you walked Lila out, do you happen to know where she was going?”

“Why?” he asked monotone, not looking in my direction, but I looked at him. It was the way he responded. He knew something.

“Where is she?” I asked.

“Why, Lansing? Why do you want to know?”

“I’m just…curious. I just want to make sure she’s…that Fleur’s okay.”

“Not a good enough answer, Your Grace.”

“Fuck off, Will. Tell me what you know.”

“Why? So you can go after her and attack her, like you almost did in your apartment.”

“I would never hurt Lila.”

“I think it’s too late for that.”

“What do you know?” I hissed under my breath.

“I know more than you, because I’m not blinded by what I can’t have, when
what I should have
was in front of me the whole time as I fucked around with other girls.”

“And what ‘should I have’?”

“A woman who puts you in your place, makes you think about your bitch decisions, and maybe makes you feel like you could be part of something more.”

“Yeah, right. Like what?”

“A family,” he said, in all seriousness.

“Fuck, Will, not this shit again.” I threw the controller on the coffee table and flung my head back to stare at the ceiling.

“You need something else to focus on.”

“I need a distraction,” I swallowed.

“No, you don’t. You need something else to concentrate on. Something…no, someone, that would make you forget about your lost chance with Guinie, and make you take a new chance on somebody else. A more realistic chance.”

“What I need is to know where Lila is,” I groaned. “That’s it. It’s that simple.”

“It isn’t that simple. You don’t deserve to know, yet,” Galehaut huffed.

“Jeez, you’re being harsh,” I laughed.

“Until you can admit that what you had, right under your nose, was the best thing for you, you don’t deserve to find her.”

“Admit right under my nose…” I was starting to laugh again, but my humor choked me. The smile fell from my face as I sat upright and looked at Galehaut.

“You have her in your apartment, don’t you?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Not anymore.” He shook his head without even looking at me, his eyes still trained on the large flat screen and the blood bath before us. “And that’s not
under
your nose,” he mumbled.

“How could you do this to me?”

“I didn’t do anything to you. I did it for her.”

“Thank God, I can trust you didn’t
do
her,” I laughed without humor, and he reached out quickly to punch me in the arm.

“Well, I would if I weren’t me. And you’re an ass, Lansing. You don’t deserve to do her, either, because you’re
you
right now.”

Words raced through my head.
You don’t deserve her. The best thing was right under your nose
. Something still wasn’t right. I stood when I realized I suddenly knew where she was.

Someone was banging on my apartment door, but I didn’t know why. No one knew I was here. The two people that did each had a key. I couldn’t get to the door anyway because Fleur was balanced over the toilet again. Poor thing had some kind of stomach flu, and she had started throwing up in the middle of the night. Every time I thought she had it under control, she’d start again. I’d already called the pediatrician twice. I was scooping her hair up and rubbing her back with my free hand when the banging started again.

Jesus, take the hint. No one’s home
.

Fleur sat back on shaky legs and I tried to pick her up to carry her back to her room just outside the bath. I laid her back down and covered her as her eyes closed immediately. The banging began again.

What the…?

As I reached the door, I peeked through the peep hole to find Lansing outside my door. I couldn’t handle him, at the moment. I was exhausted from being awake most of the night. I just couldn’t deal with him. I stepped back from the door.

“Lila? Lila, I know you’re in there. Open up.”

I didn’t answer. There wasn’t anything he could say to me. I stepped back farther from the door, as if he could see me through the solid wood.

The banging started again.

“Lila? Please. I know you’re in there. If you don’t open up, I can get the key and you know it.”

At that exact moment, Fleur began to cry my name again. If I didn’t get to her, she’d let loose on the floor like she already had twice last night. I couldn’t clean that bedding again. I didn’t have the energy.

I reached for the deadbolt, unlocked the door, and immediately ran for Fleur.

“Fleur, up,” I cried.

“Lila,” she was moaning, as she slid out of bed and almost fell to the floor. I quickly moved the garbage can that had somehow been pushed back from the side of the bed and helped Fleur balance over it. She couldn’t possibly have anything left, but I held her hair back as she shook and cried.

“What the fuck? What’s going on here?” Lansing barked.

“Look. I don’t know what you want, but now isn’t a good time, Lansing.” I didn’t even look at him, my concentration was on Fleur. I felt his presence behind me as Fleur moaned and sat back from the bin.

“Come on, sweetheart, lay back down. You need some rest.”

I helped her stand and climb back under the covers.

“What’s wrong?” Lansing was standing directly behind me, looking over my shoulder at Fleur.

“She just has a stomach bug, but she’s been throwing up since the middle of the night,” I said as I yawned.

“When was the last time you slept?” he said softly behind me.

“What do you want, Lansing?” I demanded, turning to face him. More literally, face his chest. He was closer to me than I thought, and I bumped into him as I spun. His hands gripped my arms to steady me, but he didn’t let go.

“Lila, you look exhausted.”

“Thank you,” I said, yawning again.

I tried to step around him, but I knew from past experience it was futile. He moved with me.

“Can she be left alone?”

“I can hear her from the living room,” I said. Lansing stepped back so I could lead the way out of Fleur’s room.

“Have you been here the whole time?” he asked immediately, as I sank onto the couch. I leaned back and closed my eyes to him.

“Yes.”

“Why haven’t I seen you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you weren’t looking,” I laughed softly.

“Lila?” I opened my eyes slowly as I felt the couch cushion next to me dip.

I didn’t have strength to fight him, so I figured I would let him say what he needed to say. He could get whatever off his chest, and then leave me alone, so I could sleep. That’s all I wanted right now. Sleep.

“Lila, are you falling asleep?”

“No.” My eye lids sprung open and I blinked as I tried to sit upright. Lansing shifted next to me, taking off his zipper sweatshirt. I didn’t understand what he was doing until I felt him slip behind me on the couch and place a hand on my hips. He was tilting us downward.

“Lay down,” he demanded softly, and I gave in. I was just too tired.

I was having an amazing dream. My sister was still alive and she was with Josh, but I didn’t care. I had my own man. Lansing was standing with his arms wrapped around me, his chin on my shoulder as he whispered in my ear. I don’t recall what he said, but I smiled in the dream. My sister turned to hug Josh, only Josh was looking at me over her shoulder. He smiled his wicked sweet smile and I flinched. It was one of those weird jolts when your body jerks and you come awake. An arm tightened around me as I stared into my darkened apartment from the angle of my couch.

“You’re okay,” came a muffled voice in my hair. A hand flattened on my stomach and butterflies took flight in my lower belly.

“Lansing?” I said in a sleepy voice.

“Yeah?”

“What are you still doing here?”

“I’m…I’m holding onto you, Lila.”

“Why?”

“You were tired,” he said flatly and I took a deep breath. It wasn’t the answer I wanted, but I wasn’t going to get what I wanted from Lansing Lotte.

“I need to get up and check on Fleur.”

“I already did.”

I shifted to see him over my shoulder. “What?”

“I checked on her a while ago. She was still asleep.”

“What time is it?”

“I don’t know,” he said. He reached over me for something on the floor. I assumed it was his phone, but the position placed him on top of me. One of his legs slid between mine and his chest was flattening my breasts. The pressure made my nipples perk to attention and I cursed myself for responding to him instantly. He looked down at me, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was watching my mouth which had fallen open as I took in a breath. He purposely slipped his knee forward. I tried to stifle the sigh, but a noise came from the back of my throat. His eyes widened and he held my gaze.

“Lila. I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I said softly.

He leaned down and kissed me. It was soft, like a feather across my lips. It felt fresh, but I wanted more than that. He shifted and I felt his excitement pressing into my hipbone.

“For everything.” He had only pulled back a hair’s breath of distance before his mouth claimed mine. He was tender and sweet as he took his time to kiss me. And kiss me. And kiss me.

One of my arms was trapped between him and me, but the other made its way over his shoulder and into the back of his hair. My fingers wove through his longer locks and he growled into my mouth. I opened with a smile and he hardened the kiss, slipping his tongue inside me. He was still tender, but the pressure had increased in both his mouth on mine and between my legs.  He was savoring me, slowly, and a flight of butterflies below could then be called a plague of pleasure, pulsing and beating in a place I needed relief. His knee slipped upward again. My legs parted, as best they could, to allow him better access. He shifted his weight and slid his other leg over mine so that his length met my heated core and he ground into me.

I couldn’t help myself. I tugged his hair and moaned as my back arched, forcing me to press into him. He broke free of my mouth and traveled to my jaw as my head fell back. He was burning a trail along my neck to the collar of my shirt. His hand slid down my side to rest on my hipbone, and he thrust up against me with enough force I moaned. His lips smiled against my neck as he reignited the trail in reverse, back up my sensitive skin to my jaw and eventually sparking against my lips. One of his arms was still pinned under me and the other was on my hip. He pulled back only slightly, and I almost cried from the loss, but he quickly rubbed his length along the core of me again. If we had been naked, I was wet enough to put out a fire. I knew from the firmness of him against me, he was burning with desire.

My hand slipped from his hair and my fingers dragged down his back to rest at his waist. I curled my fingers into the band of his jeans and tugged. He was still holding my mouth firmly with his, but our concentration was the flint and the rock at our centers. We rubbed and we pushed, searching for that spark. I was getting close. It had been too long for me and I was so in the moment. I pulled the loop on his jeans and spread my legs, continuing to fiercely brush along his length. He must have sensed my sudden desperation as I had increased the rhythm of my hips.

“Lila,” he said into my mouth. I could feel tears coming if he was about to stop me. I needed it.

“Lila? Are you going to come for me?”

I couldn’t respond to him. All my energy was on what lay between my legs and I felt the spark begin to light.

“Lila, you keep that up and I’m going to be making a mess in my pants, darlin’.”

I still didn’t answer him. It was too late for me. I rubbed and I rubbed, and then I clenched. The inside of me melted out as I felt those flames come to life. I had freed my other hand, somehow. I held his hips in place as I dragged myself against the length of him to the top. I stopped, balancing on the edge, despite our clothing.

“Lila? I need your clothes off.”

“I…I can’t do that.”

He whimpered as I continued to feel my excitement, despite the original burst. I was having aftershocks.

“What would you do if I didn’t have on clothes?” I asked softly, as he pulled back, and then rammed against me.

“I’d slide so far inside you, you wouldn’t know where I stopped and you started.”