The Story of Me (34 page)

I hear a slight noise behind me and turn to see Jimmie standing in the doorway and instantly let out the sob I was trying to hang on to.

“Oh, Georgia.” She comes around the bed, sits next to me and takes the photo, looking at it for a few moments, gently stroking her finger over Sean’s face and my bump. She takes my hand in hers. “Tell me what’s wrong, Georgia Rae?”

I let out one more sob before saying, “I’m in love, Jamie Louise.” She bursts into tears.

“Why’re you crying?” She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes me tightly.

“Do you know how fucking happy that makes me, George? I can barely breathe.”

“Did you just wipe your nose on my shoulder?”

“Sorry, babe, yeah, but after what you’ve put me through this past year, you owe me that much at least.” I smile into her neck.

“Thanks for always being there for me, Jim. I’m sorry I’m such a shit, nut case, freaky weirdo, best friend, Auntie and sister-in-law.” She sniffs and laughs as she gets her breath.

“You’re the best shit, nut case, freaky weirdo, bestie, Auntie and sister-in-law I could wish for. I love ya so much, George. I’m so happy for ya.” We sit quietly for a few minutes.

“He wants me to move in with him.”

“Well, what’s the problem?” We break apart and I look at her, then gesture towards my suitcase.

“Tonight, now, he wants me to move in with him tonight. We’re looking at houses to buy on Thursday and Friday.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck. What’ll my dad say? What about the boys? What’s Marley gonna say?” She frowns as she looks at me.

“D’ya wanna move in with him?”

I nod. “Yeah, I do.”

She shrugs slightly. “Then fuck ‘em, George. You’re thirty-two. You’ve had the life you had planned ripped out from under you once, so grab hold of this second chance and enjoy the ride. I’ve always thought you two were good together. I thought perhaps he would be the one too; well, he was the one for a while, you know, before?” She pauses and looks me over. “I’m not gonna go there, but I think that you and him had something really good before, and given the chance, I think you would’ve made a go of it. Things worked out different, but just look, here you are and I couldn’t be happier for you.” I wipe at another tear under my eye just as my bedroom door flies open.

“Oi, oi, you ol’ slags.” Ash walks in and throws herself down onto my bed. “What the fuck’s the matter with you two? Why you crying like a pair of princesses?”

Jimmie and I smile at each other before she says, “George’s in love with TDH.” Ash sits up on my bed.

“What like, properly in love, not just in lust, but really, properly in love?” I smile and nod my head. Her bottom lip trembles a few times before her face screws up and she lets out a sob. “Fuck, George, my heart
could burst hearing that.” She throws herself back on the bed as she wipes at her eyes. “Fuck you, ya bitch. You made me full on ugly-cry then.”

Jimmie comes over and sits on the bed just as Ash sits back up and shrieks, “Oh, my God, G, does this mean babies?” My head instinctively turns towards Jimmie. I know she’s offered to be my surrogate, to carry my child for me, but I feel the panic rise up from my toes every time I think about it. What if she’s changed her mind? What if I have to go and find a stranger to carry my baby? What if they decide to keep it?

My mouth opens to speak, but no words come out and then Ash interrupts my thought trail, or lack of, “Fuck, Jim, you’re gonna have a bit of TDH inside you. For the first time ever, I’ll actually be jealous of a pregnant lady.” She throws herself back down on the bed as Jimmie and I just look at each other.

“Well, G, could he be the one?” she asks.

I nod my head slowly. “We’ve talked about it. He wants to be.”

A smile slowly spreads over her face; her brown eyes sparkle. She reaches out and laces her fingers with mine. “Just say the word, G. I can’t wait to make this happen.” I smile back.

“You still up for it? I know you said you would, but I mean, I would…”

“Georgia, we’re gonna do this. When the time’s right, we’re gonna do this.” I wrap my arms around the most beautiful person I know. Jimmie has been my voice of reason and my conscience for most of my life. If there is such a thing as soul mates, then I think Jimmie might actually be mine.

“Shit, I’m feeling left out. Just think, if it’s a boy, you’ll have a King dick inside you.” Ashley sits up as she speaks, Jim and I turn and look at her.

“Did she really just say that?” I ask.

“She did. She really did,” Jimmie replies.

“Fuck off, you two. I don’t like this. You two are gonna have this bond and I won’t be part of it. I want in.”

“What d’ya mean, you want in?”

“I wanna go. I wanna have a baby for you as well.”

“You said you didn’t. You said you didn’t want any more kids.”

“Well, I don’t plan on keeping the little fucker. Hit me up with some spunky eggs and I’ll incubate for you, but once it’s out, game over, princess; the responsibility will be all yours.” I’m stunned.

“You’d seriously do that for me. You’d carry my baby?”

“George, I wouldn’t fuck about with something like this. I’ve been thinking about it since we found out you had eggs.” She reaches out and takes my hand. “I’d decided right at the beginning really, if for any reason things didn’t work out with Jim, then I’d offer, but while you were away, I had a good ol’ think about it and decided that, if you’ve got enough eggs to go around, I want to do this for you, too. I did tell you I’d do it the other week on the phone.”

“I know, but I didn’t think you meant it.”

“Well, I did. I do.”

“Fuck, Ash,” I whisper.

“Yeah, I know,” she replies quietly.

“I wonder if it’s allowed. If the doctors would let me split my eggs between two surrogates?”

“What the fuck has it got to do with the doctors? They’re your eggs. Surely they get no say in what you do with them,” Ash asks.

“Oh, I think they’d have a moral obligation of some kind, but I can’t see that using two surrogates will be a problem,” Jimmie, my sensible friend, states.

“Have you spoken to Marley about this?” I ask her.

“I mentioned it to him, told him that I’d be willing to do it for you, but I think he thought I was all talk. I don’t think
he
thinks I’d actually do it.”

“But you’re sure?” I ask.

“One hundred fucking percent. I would never mention it if I wasn’t.”

“Is he okay with it though, with Cam? Will he…?” She knows what I’m thinking and trying to say.

“George, he’s your brother. He loves you to the point where I find it a bit creepy if the truth be told, but anyway, he just wants you to be happy, and if TDH is what makes you happy, then he’ll live with that.” I let out a long sigh as Jimmie shoulder-bumps me. I smile at her. “So,” she says.

“So,” Ash and I say together.

“Are we doing this?” Jimmie asks.

I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed, my two best friends on either side of me. I look at each of them.

“Fuck yeah, we’re doing this, and Ash, just so we’re clear, there’s nothing creepy between me and my brother.”

“Whatever,” she says. “Most my brother ever did for me is give me a discount on a gram of coke. If Marls didn’t have me and the kids, he’d die for you, George. I know he would.”

“It’s not just Marley, Ash. Len’s no different and I’m sure Bailey’s the same. She’s their little sister; they’ve been raised to always protect her.”

“You’re so lucky, George, and now you’ve got TDH, all dominant and alpha, looking out for ya. Fuck, girl, your Mildred must have teeth. How’d you manage to attract these gorgeous men?” I shake my head at her, just wait till I show her the photos of Roman but I’ll save them for another time.

We have a group cry and decide not to mention any of this to the rest of the family yet. Cam and I have enough to work through without throwing IVF into the mix, but the thought that we may actually have a baby together at some stage in the future causes the strangest bubbling sensation in my belly, and for the first time, in a very long time, I allow myself to hope.

* * *

Dinner is a noisy, chaotic affair as it always is when we’re all together. Once everyone has eaten, I dish out presents from Australia to all of the kids. The girls all get Havaiana flip flops and cuddly kangaroos and koalas, and the boys all get Billabong flip flops, baseball caps and T-shirts. The kids all insist on wearing their new clothes and then head off to the playroom while the adults remain sitting around the dinner table talking and enjoying after dinner drinks.

The boys and my dad have been polite to Cam and have engaged him in conversation. They all seem to have enjoyed more than their fair share of my dad’s best whiskey and bourbon, and Cam definitely seems a lot more relaxed than when we arrived. He sits with his arm around the back of my chair and strokes his fingertips over my shoulder, then up the side of my neck as I tell my family about learning to surf in Australia.

When the conversation falls quiet, Marley asks, “So what now, George? What’re your plans?” I lean back in my chair and look at Cam. I don’t know how he wants to play this. He’s very much like my dad with the old East End respect attitude and I don’t know if he wants to talk to my dad privately about me moving in with him or if he’s happy for me just to announce it. His eyes wander over my face and then he gives an ‘I’ve got this’ kind of wink and clears his throat.

“I was talking to your dad about this earlier,” he says, looking from Marley to Len and Bails. “I’ve asked Georgia to move in with me at my place in Docklands for now, but we’ve decided to look for a house together.” Marley slides down in his chair and folds his arms across his chest; he looks like a sulky teenager as he bites down on his bottom lip.

His eyes move to mine. “You’re moving in with him, already? You sure?” I nod my head slowly. The room is quiet; the only sounds are of the kids all playing in their room along the hallway.

“It’s not like we don’t know each other.” I shrug, look at Cam and then at each of my brothers. “I know I’ve spent the past year behaving like I should be sectioned.” I roll my eyes, realising what I’ve said. “Well, yeah, yeah, I know, I was sectioned, but you know what I mean.” I twist the corner of my napkin and look down at it for a few seconds, thinking that the twisted corner feels a little like my insides right now. As I let it go, it uncurls itself and I allow my belly to do the same. “Look, I’ve been a fucked-up mess for a year. Going to Australia was the best thing I could’ve done. I’ve had a chance to get my head straight and realise how selfish I’ve been with my behaviour.” I look around the table at all of my family. “I’ll never be able to thank you all enough for helping me through the worst experience of my life, while at the same time
dealing with your own grief. I behaved selfishly and I’m sorry for that.” Cam pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. “I love you all and I am one hundred percent sure that I’m in love with this man here. It’s not like Cam and I have just met. We’ve known each other years and it was by pure chance that we bumped into each other in Australia.” Bailey raises his eyebrows over that little untruth. My family know nothing about my accidental overdose and telephone call to Cam but I carry on regardless. “We’ve both been dealt a shit hand in life. We’re both old enough to recognise love when it smacks us in the face and we don’t see the point in hanging about.”

“You know the press are gonna have a field day with this, don’t ya?”

“They already are, Marls. They’ve been camped outside Cam’s place since I got back.”

His eyes flick between me and Cam. He looks like he’s about to say something but Cam speaks first. “I’ve been speaking with Bailey the last couple of days. We’ve taken on Scotty Davies as close protection for Georgia. I’ve got her a new car so she’s not trying to dodge the press in her little motor. It’s blacked out, bulletproof. You name it; it’s got it. She won’t be going anywhere without me, Benny or Scott for the next few weeks at least. I’m sure they’ll get bored and leave us alone eventually, but for now, I’ll do what I can to keep them from hassling her.”

“Have you thought about releasing a statement? If you make it official, then there’s no story, well, no exclusive, at least,” Lennon says.

Cam turns to me and shrugs. “That’s entirely up to Georgia. If it’s gonna help, then I’m up for it.” His eyes are back on me. “Kitten?” I feel myself blush as he calls me
that
name in front of all my family.

“Did he just call you Kitten?” Oh, Ash, just for once could she not keep her mouth zipped? I give her a small nod. “Fucking hell, that’s so hot.” I look around Cam to where Jimmie sits and nods at me.

“And once again, yes, she did just say that out loud.”

“You’ve never called me by a nickname,” Ashley whines and gives Marley a dig in the ribs with her elbow.

“I called you a cunt the other day and you punched me.” My mum spits her wine while everyone else laughs.

I sit back in my chair and look at Lennon. “If you think it’ll help, Len, I’m up for it.”

He nods. “Okay, I’ll talk to ya tomorrow and we’ll put out a press release. What about an interview? Would you be up for that?”